Playlists
by K-el-rizz
Summary: This is my take on what happens in San and Britt's lives after the 'Hurt Locker'. It shows how they are coping and fighting with the feelings they have for one another and more a behind-the-scenes look into their relationship.
1. Chapter 1, Your Eyes

**Author's Note: Hey guys! Ok, so this is my first fan fiction and since I have loved Britt and San since they first came on the show, I had to do one about them. I'm going to start this at the "hurt locker" scene, but there will be flashbacks and such. I really don't know how long it will be, but I will probably write up to the end of season 2, just because their relationship will most likely pan out over the last 6 episodes. **

**This story is going to be from mostly a narrative point of view. I will switch some from Santana, to Brittany, to Artie, etc, but I will make it clear when I do that!**

**Also, I wanted to explain my name of the story and the chapter names. My life is based around music, so I wanted to base this around music as well. The story will have many musical references; therefore will be named "Playlists". **

**AND, as for the chapter names, they will be based on names of songs. I will try to tell you each of the songs and where they came from so you can listen to them if you want! The first song is "Your Eyes" sang by Roger in the musical RENT. It's pretty darn appropriate.**

**Disclaimer: Unfortunately, I am NOT as creative as those writers of Glee, so none of these characters are mine and most of the themes are theirs as well. Now, ON with the story!**

* * *

><p><strong>Chapter 1<br>Your Eyes**

She wasn't used to rejection. I mean, come on, she was Santana Bad-Ass-Mother-Fuckin Lopez. Who could resist her? She was hot, charming, and yes, a bit bitchy, but it was a part of who she was.

So when her best friend in the entire world, the only person she had ever opened up to, rejected her, she didn't take it very well.

"Get the FUCK out of my way!" the Latina screamed as she ran down the hall as fast as her feet would take her. Of course people moved out of her way, they were terrified of her.

Santana didn't see the faces of the people she passed, all she saw were blue eyes swimming in front of her. She couldn't get those eyes out of her mind. The eyes she searched for every time she got to school, the eyes that could read her like an open book, and the eyes that were now watching her run away. Beautiful blue eyes the color of summer sky.

Santana knew that people could see her crying. They wouldn't know why, but obviously people could see the mascara running down her face and the way she was biting on her bottom lip so hard it was almost bleeding. Santana knew, but she didn't care. The wall she had formed around herself since she was a little girl had been brought down completely and there was nothing she could do to stop it.

She didn't know where she was going, but she was running now. Sprinting for the front doors of the school, toward the parking lot, and to her car before anyone could stop her. She didn't care if she missed class. She didn't care if she got in trouble for skipping. She didn't care. All she cared about was the fact that the blue eyes that used to make her swoon now made her want to crawl into a hole and die.

* * *

><p>Brittany had no idea what had just happened. She was still standing at her locker, watching her best friend run away from her with tears streaming down her face. <em>What in the hell did I just do? <em>Brittany thought to herself. _Am I stupid? Did I really just tell her I was picking Artie? Did that really just come out of my mouth?_

"Santana! Wait!" Brittany yelled as loud as she could down the hall, but she realized it only came out a sob. Before she could even comprehend what was happening, her legs were shaking and threatening to give out on her. She slid down her locker, put her head in her hands, and started crying. She didn't know how long she sat there, but eventually Artie found her, and reluctantly, she got up and followed him out of the school. The school day was over, but for Brittany, it felt like the world was over too.

"Brit, are you ok?" Artie asked as she was dropping him off at his house. "You haven't said anything since school, and honestly, it's kind of freaking me out." Artie gave her a sideways glance and noticed how her eyes seemed to be glazed over, like she was thinking very hard about something. This actually freaked Artie out more because he'd never seen Brittany look so focused before. He had to give her a nudge to bring her back to the moment, and when she looked at him, she tried to smile, but it didn't reach her eyes.

Oh those eyes. Artie felt like he could dive into them. So deep and clear, but for the first time, he noticed they seemed guarded, almost reluctant as he leaned in to kiss her. It was only a quick kiss, but he knew that if he could actually feel them, his knees would be weak. Brittany pulled away first and turned back to look out the windshield; a clear dismissal. He grabbed his chair from the back seat, climbed in, and rolled up to his house. He turned around to wave goodbye, but the blonde was already driving away.

Brittany hated herself as she drove. She didn't know where she was going, but she wasn't going home right now. She had too much running through her mind to deal with her parents and little sister. It was a gorgeous day in Lima, Ohio, the kind where you can roll down your windows, stick your hand out and act like you're flying down the road. She decided that a drive, possibly off a cliff, was the best thing to do at the moment.

Brittany wanted to tune out everything and just drive, which was her favorite thing to do, next to dancing and kissing Sant.. _STOP. Stop right there Britt._ She told herself as she cranked up the car stereo. She couldn't think of the Latina right now. She couldn't think of locking pinkies, and cuddling, and holding hands while driving around town on days like this. She couldn't think about how she probably just lost her best friend and it was all because Brittany's thoughts got to jumbled up to say what she really wanted to say to the brunette as she confessed her love to her.

Everyone thought Brittany was dumb. Granted, she wasn't the smartest person to grace the halls of McKinley High School, but she wasn't stupid. Brittany was actually a pretty smart girl. She sucked at Spanish and Math because it required her to think very quickly. If Mr. Schue asked her a question in Spanish, she never could answer right away and everyone thought it was because she didn't know, when really, she was just trying to work out what he was saying in her head.

Britt knew Spanish, thanks to her best friend, but trying to respond in front of a class of watching peers made her nervous, and the words would get jumbled in her head and she couldn't spit them out before Mr. Schue would ask someone else. That's why she was so good in her English class. She would have time to write out whatever and then re-read it to make sure it was right. She wasn't rushed or forced for an answer, and for that, she always did very well in English.

She was also a very good dancer because it didn't require her to think at all. She could move her body to the music and that was it. No thinking. No questions. Just moving. Heart, soul, and limbs; no mind games were involved.

This was why Brittany was so upset with herself as she drove around town. Santana had asked her if she loved her, practically begging Britt to be hers, and she couldn't think of a way to tell her, 'Of course! Why wouldn't I be with you! I only love you!' but those words didn't come out like she wanted. She needed to end it with Artie; that was first. But it came out like she wanted to stay with him. _So smooth. Couldn't even think of the words to say you would leave him in a heartbeat. Idiot Brittany. Idiot. _

Brittany continued thinking about the conversation, the way Santana's eyes darkened at the mention of Artie, the way the Latina's eyes started to burn when Britt stumbled over her words and realized everything she was saying was coming out wrong. She wanted to grab Santana, make her listen, but Santana had brushed her off. That thought actually brought Brittany up short; _San had never done that before. Not once has she pushed me away, unless she was going to grab me and bring me right back. _

Brittany began to cry as she heard the song playing on the radio. She didn't realize it had been playing, but if she had, she would have changed it, but now, she couldn't even lift her hand to turn the channel.

_.. If you climb the mountain and you turn around…_

_..And if you see my reflection in the snow covered hills, well maybe… _

_..Well maybe, the landslide will bring you, down…_

The next thing she knew, she was plunging into her memories…

0o0o0o0o0o0o

"_Santana, are we really going to sing with Ms. Holiday? I mean, you never want to sing with me." Britt pouted on her bed while Santana sat at her desk, staring into the mirror, keeping her eyes trained on her own reflection._

"_Yea Britt, we're gonna sing in front of the Glee club." Santana's voice was subdued, almost sad. _

_The next thing she knew, Britt was squealing with delight and rushing over to sit on her lap, peppering her face and neck with kisses._

"_Thank you, thank you, thank you!" Brittany cooed as she continued to kiss the Latina's neck. _

_Santana didn't realize how much something like that would mean to Brittany, but obviously it was more important than she knew._

_0o0o0o0o0o0o_

"_Is that really how you feel?" Brittany asked in a small voice, almost looking worried that she would ruin the moment if she spoke to loud. _

_A simple yes escaped Santana's lips as she looked at the blonde, and she got up and gave her best friend and soul mate a much needed hug and 'thank you'. _

_Brittany didn't need to understand the words that came from Rachel's mouth. "Sapphic Charm". She could tell it was something bad because she felt Santana tense up in her arms, shoot Rachel a hard sneer, and say something about labeling her._

_It was then that Britt knew Santana was scared. Scared to be labeled gay, a lesbian, a dyke, or anything else the kids in this school could come up with. Brittany saw the fear and realized then that Santana could never fully be with her until she could be comfortable in her own skin first…_

_0o0o0o0o0o0o_

Brittany hadn't realized she was holding her breath until little white spots popped in front of her eyes. She gulped in the clean spring air and began analyzing the memory.

_I'm a dumbass. Why didn't I tell Santana right then how I felt about her; right there in front of the whole Glee club. None of them would have been judgmental. None of them would have cared. They would want us to be happy, why oh why didn't I say something then! I could have taken that look from her eyes, the one that breaks my heart when I see it. Damn it!_

Brittany pulled herself from her moping, only to wish she hadn't. Another song was now on the radio…

_.. I would dial the numbers, just to listen to your breath…_

_..I would stand inside my hell, and hold the hand of death…_

_..You don't know how far I'd go, to ease this precious ache…_

_..You don't know how much I'd give, or how much I can take…_

_..Just to reach you, Just to reach you…_

_..Come to my window…_

_..Crawl inside, wait by the light of the moon…_

The blonde almost didn't have time to catch her breath before the memory pulled her back under and assaulted her already confused mind.

0o0o0o0o0o0o

"_I love your sweet lady kisses." Brittany said as Santana continued down her neck with her lips. The Latina made a comment about scissoring that made Brittany's nose scrunch up. Santana knew that Brittany hated scissoring and couldn't help making the comment. She looked cute when she pouted. Besides, they had much more creative ways of keeping each other satisfied. _

"_We should sing a duet together. We should sing, Melissa Etheridge's "Come To My Window". D_id I really just say that? _Brittany thought as Santana pulled back. She could see that flicker of fear in Santana's eyes that she got when the talks got a little too pointed when it came to their "Relationship"._

"_First of all, there's a lot of talking going on, and I wan'st to get my mack on." Santana went back to kissing the blondes neck, and was ready to end the talk before it got too deep._

"_Well, I don't know, I just.." Brittany was going to explain herself, but the Latina hopped up and had a look in her eye that stopped the blonde short. _

"_Second of all," Santana said, the sound of annoyance very clear in her voice, "I'm not making out with you because I'm in love with you and want to sing about making lady babies…" Santana sat up and was putting her hair up in her signature Cheerios pony tail and missed the sad look that passed on Brittany's face. _

_Brittany didn't hear anything else that the brunette was saying. She could only glance up at Santana as she prepared to leave. This was not how she wanted her night to go and as the Latina finished pulling her hair up, she knew she had lost all chances of talking her into staying…_

_0o0o0o0o0o0o_

When Brittany came up for air again, she wasn't sure which was worse. The fact that it had been several months since that talk and it just now dawned on her that Santana has felt this way for awhile, or the fact that she couldn't see through Santana's mask to know that the fiery Latina has loved her for a long time.

If being a best friend meant that you knew that person in and out, then Brittany was the ultimate bff. She could give Santana's life story probably just as good as Santana could. She could read the brunette's face and know what she was thinking or how she was feeling. Her eyes, though most would say differently, were her biggest gateway. Most people think that people with brown eyes can't express a lot of emotion because they're so dark and mysterious, but if you knew Santana the way Britt did, you'd know that wasn't true at all.

Those brown eyes were the best thing in Brittany's world. When Santana would climb through her window at night and crawl into bed beside her, all Brittany had to do was look into those eyes and know if something was wrong. Santana didn't come over late at night just to 'get her mack on'. She'd come over for comfort and Brittany's arms were always there for her. She'd watch as those eyes went from a cold darkness to melting chocolate when Britt would pull her close and breathe in her scent. She could feel how Santana would relax into her body and could almost feel the loneliness leaving the brunette as they laid there together. Brittany wouldn't have to ask if something was wrong, because she knew she could chase the bad away just by holding onto Santana and locking pinkies before drifting to sleep.

A tiny smile spread over Brittany's lips when she realized that all the times they kissed, cuddled, had sex, or linked pinkies, it meant as much to Santana as it did to her. After she realized this, a sadder thought entered her mind. Santana was scared, terrified to love Brittany, but she had loved her with her body for so long, Britt should have known. Brittany should have told Santana that it was ok because she loved her to, and that it didn't matter what people said. They both loved each other and nothing would change that. But Brittany hadn't thought of it then. Hadn't thought of it when their hands were tangled in each other's hair and bodies were so close together it felt like they were one person.

Brittany cursed at herself under her breath as she continued to drive. She couldn't believe she had missed that. She should have noticed sooner with the way Santana had been acting. The Latina wasn't sleeping with Puck anymore. She wasn't making out with random guys or anything. She went for Sam, and it wasn't for love, it was for revenge. She wanted to get back at Quinn, but it wasn't like Santana wanted him. She would come to Brittany's house almost every night, staying there till morning, only to get up before Brittany could wake up, and would head home to get ready for school.

One again the thought '_stupid Brittany!' _entered the blondes mind and she couldn't shake the fact that if she had acted sooner, none of this would have ever happened. She knew she couldn't change the past, but she was going to change her future. As she made her second pass by the high school, she knew where she was going. She hit the gas hard and headed toward Lima Heights, ready to win back her best friend any way that she could.

* * *

><p>Santana had missed the last half of the day but didn't care. She texted Sam to tell him she went home sick and to cover for her. Of course he would, he'd do anything for her, even though he loved her just about as much as she loved him, which was not at all. She knew that he still loved Quinn, and she actually felt a little twinge in her heart for the blonde with the hazel eyes, knowing what she did to her, but suddenly, she realized she didn't care. Quinn's perfect little life was working out like she wanted. Her and Finn were back together and they were a shoe in for Prom King and Queen. Quinn had her fairy tale.<p>

The brunette was driving around Lima after driving half way to Columbus before realizing she didn't have any place to run to. She couldn't leave; she didn't have that luxury of an escape. All she had was her big empty house, and there was no way in hell she was going back there. Her phone went off a few times, text messages from people who saw her crying, but she didn't respond. She wouldn't know what to say even if she did.

Santana turned her Ipod on after realizing how quiet it was in her car, but immediately regretted it. Now, only one person in the world knew of her love of musical theatre and that was the person she was running away from. Santana loved musicals; loved the way they made her feel when she could just relax in a theatre and watch someone else's life end up perfect. It made her hopeful. And of course, Rachel 'Man-Hands' Berry could never know this, but she loved it when they did musical numbers. It made her feel good.

She heard the song's familiar guitar solo start, and knew that she couldn't change it even if she wanted to. She loved this song, almost as much as she loved the musical. Her father, in a very uncanny weekend away, took her to see RENT in Columbus and she immediately fell in love. The story was strong and weak, sad and happy, hopeful and pessimistic; pretty much how she felt all the time now. But she loved it, and when they played this song, she knew it was her favorite.

_.. Your eyes  
>..As we said our goodbyes<br>..Can't get them out of my mind  
>..And I find I can't hide<em>

..From your eyes  
>..The ones that took me by surprise<br>..The night you came into my life  
>..Where there's moonlight<br>..I see your eyes…

..How'd I let you slip away  
>..When I'm longing so to hold you<br>..Now I'd die for one more day  
>..'Cause there's something I should have told you<br>..Yes, there's something I should have told you…

..When I looked into your eyes  
>..Why does distance make us wise?<br>..You were the song all along  
>..And before the song dies…<p>

..I should tell you, I should tell you  
>..I have always loved you<br>..You can see it in my eyes…

Santana was sobbing by the time the song was over and realized that her song was dying and she couldn't do anything about it. She told Brittany how she felt and she could do nothing but listen as the blonde rambled about Artie and how she couldn't do that to him.

Did she not understand? Did Santana not explain it well enough to the blonde haired blue eyed beauty? Wasn't her love enough to make Brittany break up with Artie? After she asked herself those questions, another question punched her in the stomach_. _

_So why wasn't her love enough to make you break up with Sam or Puck? Huh? Why didn't you end it with all those guys when Britt told you she loved you? Stubborn ass… she told you and you rejected her _first_, you deserve the shit you're in now…_ Brittany had wanted to be with Santana, practically annoyed her with the questions about their relationship, and yet the Latina just pushed her away. _Why did I do that?_ _Oh right, because you were a chicken shit._

She kept driving, with no general idea of where she was heading. Just sticking to the side roads and trying not to run over people out enjoying the day. She saw a mother and daughter walking down the sidewalk, hands clasped tight around one another, laughing and whispering secrets. A twinge of jealously surged through the Latina as she witnessed this. She'd never had a close relationship with her mother or her father. They were around, of course, they had dinner at night sometimes, but mostly, she got herself up out of bed in the morning, made her own breakfast, got herself to school, got herself to practices, and made her own dinner when she got home.

She couldn't blame her parents, they were busy. A doctor and a real estate agent were good jobs in this town and they needed to be on top of their game at all times. Granted, this has caused them to miss every national championship Santana had ever competed in, every Glee club performance, and even birthdays, but Santana didn't care, she just ignored it and kept trying hard to impress them. Granted, it never really happened, but she still tried.

This was when she missed B the most. Times like this was when she would realize how alone she was in the world and how without the blonde, she probably wouldn't have made it this far. Normally, she would drive to Brittany's and cuddle on the couch and the blonde would whisper things to make Santana feel better. Brittany always knew how to make her feel better.

But now, Santana had no one. Not one person she could call, cuddle with, kiss, sleep with… no one. It was right then that Santana knew she had to make it right. She needed the blonde more than she could ever have admitted to her face, but now she didn't care. All she cared about was getting to Brittany's house and wrapping her arms around her and apologize for pushing her away and that it didn't matter if she was with Artie, as long as she could have her friend back. She needed her. And if Britt didn't want more than friendship right now, Santana could deal with that, and she could deal with the rest of it later.

Santana's heart was pounding as she hit the gas and sped up the street. All thoughts of sanity went out the open window as she wound through the streets toward her best friends house. She needed to see her and tell her everything would be ok.

Her heart skipped a beat when she noticed her car wasn't there. It then hit her like a ton of bricks. Brittany still had Artie. She was with Artie. She probably took him home from school and stayed there to hang out. Brittany meant what she said. She loved Artie. Santana felt her heart break and she suppressed the sob that was building in her chest.

She let her anger flash through her body as she hit the gas and headed to the nearest gas station. Fake I.D. in hand, she bought a bottle of vodka and went to the park, drowning herself in the bottle and passing out in the grass. She woke up a little while later and could see someone's outline in the grass next to her. It was getting dark, but she could see who it was by the Mohawk on his head; it was Puck. Only Puck would know where to find her; he was her best guy friend, regardless of the things that had happened in the past.

"How'd you know where to find me?" She hiccupped and then almost puked after realizing how drunk she still was.

"You texted me like two hours ago." He looked at her with a worried expression, but didn't ask any questions, "It's a big park you know."

She hadn't remembered texting him, but he was here, and she was forever grateful to him for that. He pulled her into a hug and before she knew it, she was sobbing into his shirt, not sure if it was the alcohol or the fact that she craved another set of arms wrapped around her that had sent her over the edge. He just rubbed her back and let her cry, knowing that if she wanted to talk about it, she would.

The Latina quieted down and finally pulled away, ready to leave and go to bed before she could think about anything else. Puck looked at her, and after seeing the flash in those deep brown eyes, decided against asking her what was wrong, and stood up to take her home.

As they pulled into the empty driveway, Santana couldn't help but wish someone would have been home. Even if it was just to yell at her for drinking, but no one was there. Puck broke into her train of thought and reminded her of the pact they all made to not drink until after Nationals. She wanted to tell him to fuck off, but couldn't muster the right amount of attitude to make it worth it. She just climbed out of the car and went up to her room and fell on top of her bed.

Play by play of her day came back to her and she tried to hold back the tremors that were racking through her body, but after realizing no one was there to even hear her, she let out a sob, pressed her face into her pillow, and cried herself to sleep.

* * *

><p>Brittany had sat at Santana's house for a few hours, praying that the brunette would come home soon. She didn't have the nerve to text her and ask where she was; she was worried she had lost the right to know that kind of information. So she sat there. For three hours the blonde sat in the Latina's driveway, listening to random songs on the radio, hearing kids run around the neighborhood playing games of tag, and trying very hard to stay optimistic that Santana would pull in any minute.<p>

It started to get dark and Brittany's mom finally called to see where she was. She said she was at Santana's and was going to head home soon, leaving out the part that Santana was nowhere to be seen. Brittany gave herself a deadline and promised to stick to it. If she wasn't home in 15 minutes, she would leave and make sure she talked to her tomorrow.

14 minutes later, Britt decided it was time to go. She didn't want her mom asking her unnecessary questions and her resolve was slowly faltering as she waited till the last minute was up. She put her car into drive and headed up the street. She looked in her rearview when she saw lights, and she slammed on the brakes. Someone just pulled into Santana's driveway. It was a black truck and immediately she had to swallow the bile that rose in her throat.

It was Puck's truck.

She saw the brunette climb out of the cab of the truck and stumble her way inside. _Awesome. _Brittany thought. _She got wasted and hooked up with Puck._

She couldn't help the tears that started to fall from her eyes when she realized that maybe she had lost Santana forever. She knew she was overreacting but something in her broke, and when she started searching for the pieces, she knew it was her heart.

* * *

><p><strong>I know, kinda mean, but still!<strong>

**Let me know what you think! I know this was long, but I wanted to get some of this out there right away! I won't write anything more until I know if anyone likes this, granted, it does make me feel better to have an outlet! **

**Let me know what you think!**


	2. Chapter 2, Mad

**A/n: ok, so this chapter is called Mad. The song is by Ne-Yo and it actually means a lot to me, and as soon as I started writing this chapter, I knew I had to use this song. **

**A/n 2: Also, it starts slow, but give it time! It turns kind of smutty too. Just an fyi. Reviews help my writing juices, by the way! ;)**

**Disclaimer: oh, and like always, this stuff ain't mine! ;)**

* * *

><p><strong>Chapter 2<br>Mad**

**Friday Morning**

Brittany wasn't sure what was worse. Seeing Santana getting out of Puck's truck last night or getting to school and not seeing her car in the parking lot. She still felt sick to her stomach whenever she started to think of everything that happened the night before.

Brittany saw Santana, wasted, climbing from the truck and stumbling into her house, which meant she had broken a lot of promises she had made to the blonde. The first, and least important to Britt, was the drinking promise. The entire Glee club promised not to drink until after Nationals and Santana seemed to have accepted that without hesitations. But obviously Glee was low on her list of things to worry about at the moment and that promise was broken.

The second promise was the one that made Brittany's stomach churn and threatened to overtake her. _She promised she was done with him. She Promised!_ It was now occurring to the blonde that things might be much worse than she had previously thought. She knew she needed to tell Santana that she saw her with him and confront her about the drinking, but the thought of another fight with the Latina made Brittany hesitant to even get out of her car. But after another glance at the parking lot, she knew Santana wasn't going to be at school today.

Brittany grabbed her stuff and shuffled into the hallways of McKinley, barely noticing that Artie was wheeling himself next to her, asking her about their plans for the night. _Shit. What'd he just say?_ She was completely lost in her own thoughts and knew she needed to be a better girlfriend and listen to Artie. Thoughts of Santana would have to wait.

"I said, are you going to Terrance's party tonight?" Artie asked as he pulled up to their desk in math. Terrance was a football player whose parents always left town on the weekends, leaving the teens a place to party and drink without the fear of getting caught. Brittany almost told Artie no, but realizing she could invite San and maybe make things better, decided to agree on going.

The day passed with nothing more than a "where's Santana?" from Artie, and when Brittany was about to answer, she realized how much he didn't care. He really could care less about where her best friend was or that they had been fighting or that she loved her or any of that. He didn't like Santana. That was obvious, but never before did he seem so smug to not have the Latina walking on the other side of his blonde girlfriend, linking pinkies and stealing her attention away from him.

This enraged Brittany far more than she let on. She couldn't even look at him without getting angry. But, the anger dissolved just as quickly as it came on. She couldn't be mad. He had no idea what was going on between her and San and if he did, he would swallow his pride and do anything to make it better, even if that resulted in the Latina locking pinkies with Brittany again. Brittany decided to ease up on Artie and to make it better, sat on his lap as he wheeled his way to their next class.

* * *

><p>Santana couldn't even think straight when she woke up to see the sun shining through her bedroom window. She rolled over, realizing her head was threatening to explode from her hangover, and looked at the clock. <em>Shit. Well, guess I'm taking a long weekend. <em>Normally this would have been a great idea and she would have relished in the fact that she was going to sleep all day and wait till 3:30 when B would get out of school. But when the previous day came crashing back in around her, she realized that school would have been a pretty good escape.

She decided to get up and drag out the process of getting ready for the day. She showered slowly, hoping the hot water would rinse away all the tension in her body and help her pounding head. She made lunch, having already missed breakfast, and settled into the couch to watch a movie. She was halfway through it when her phone went off upstairs. She was going to let it ring, but recognizing the ring tone as her fathers, she muttered to herself as she heaved herself up off the couch and bounded up the stairs to her room.

"Hello?" She said breathlessly, throwing herself down on her bed.

"And hello to you." _Ah hell, I'm in trouble now._ She could tell by her father's voice that he knew she was not hiding in a bathroom at school to answer her phone. "And may I ask why in the hell you thought you could skip school this morning?"

Santana almost started to yell, but realizing that she could do far better by faking a headache, she just groaned into the phone and said in her most pathetic voice, "Daddy, I had a migraine. You know I can't function with one of those. I tried to get up and tell you to call the school, but you weren't home." She knew it was bad to play on her father's job responsibilities, but it always worked like a charm.

"Baby, I wish you would have told me!" Her father's voice was full of concern. _I win. _She thought as she lay back on her bed. "Next time just leave a message or something, I was worried something happened to you on your way to school." _Yea right, save the sympathy for someone who cares. _

Santana made a little more small talk with her dad before telling him she needed to lie back down. After worming her way out of that predicament, she went back down stairs to finish her movie. She was almost asleep on the couch when her phone went off again.

The outside LCD screen was flashing with a text message, and the only thing it read was the name of the person who had sent it; **Britt-Britt.**

She couldn't help the flash of heat that went through her body when seeing her name. She had to tell herself to _get a fucking grip Lopez, she didn't choose you. _She opened the text message and her heart soared, "Come to Terrance's tonight with me! It's supposed to be fun, and well, I miss you already! –B"

Santana knew she should be angry with the blonde, I mean, she rejected her, but for some reason she couldn't help but get excited by the fact that Britt wanted to hang out. That she wasn't terrified of Santana after her spilling her guts to her at their lockers the day before. She wanted to respond with a hasty "Of course!" but stopped herself short. She needed specifics before she made any plans, it was just the way she was. She always needed the plan-before-the-plan so she could decide if it was worth her time to get ready and look hot if the party would be a bust.

So instead, she responded with a simple, "Who's going? -S". Her phone beeped not even a minute later, and she couldn't help but smile when she thought of Brittany sitting in class, trying to hide her phone and text and still look like she was paying attention to the teacher. She knew Britt couldn't multi-task and she was sure this little act of texting was maxing out the blondes' brain at the moment.

She knew Brittany wasn't dumb, but sometimes, she was just kind of out there…

0o0o0o0o0o

"_I have to show you something and it's a secret and like really important and you can't tell anyone because if you do we might lose and we can't lose!" Brittany looked like her face was turning blue from not taking a breath. She grabbed Santana's hand and pulled her into the girls' bathroom. "Look!" And as Santana looked down, Brittany held out a blue hair comb that looked like it belonged in an 80's rock video and not in the hand of the very stylish blonde. _

"_Cool?" Santana said, trying desperately to understand how this was going to help them win Sectionals. She was already freaking out about her solo and she didn't need any added pressure of losing a comb to her already full plate of nerves. _

"_San! It's gonna help us win!" The blonde explained as she ran it through her glorious blonde hair. Santana couldn't help but stand there and want desperately to run her hands through the corn silk that was flowing between the combs' teeth. _

"_Yea, I don't get how a comb is gonna help Britt? I mean, maybe it'll make your hair look good, but…?" Santana was still so confused she almost missed the flash of innocence in Brittany's eyes when she thought Santana was missing something so obvious._

"_It's a magic comb!" Exasperated, Brittany plopped down right there on the floor, hoping Santana would grasp the seriousness of their conversation. "It's going to help us win San! We're going to win sectionals, and then regionals, and then nationals! We're going to win it all!" Santana could do nothing but smile fondly at her best friend… And she couldn't help but wonder where Brittany got these ideas, but the way the blonde was looking at her, like it was obvious that they were going to win, filled her with excitement and had her looking forward to singing in front of everyone for the first time…_

_0o0o0o0o0o_

Santana didn't hear the next text message go off, so lost in her own moment, but looked down and saw her phone flashing. She flipped it open and started reading the 3 page text Brittany had just sent. For a moment, she went back to thinking about how Britt must look while sending these texts. Eyebrows furrowed together, mouth set to the side, and nose scrunched up, trying to concentrate on spelling everything right and saying everything she could in 160 characters. Obviously, this text needed more space.

"Well, I'm going silly! And the whole Glee club, because, well, Rachel invited them all! But that's ok, it'll still be fun! I need a break after this week and I know I'll be able to dance there because he's got that awesome stereo! Come on San! I know you skipped school today for no reason because if you were sick you would have called me to come take care of you! Pleaseeee come with me! –B"

_Longest. Text. Ever. _Santana thought as she re-read the message. After a few more moments, she had to ask the question that would eat her alive all day if she just ignored it. After taking a deep breath, she sent the text that she knew she would regret.

* * *

><p>"Is Artie going too? –S"<p>

_Shit. _Brittany couldn't help but glance over at the boy in the wheelchair. He was smiling at her with a goofy grin and she couldn't help but smile back. _Why does he have to be so good to me! If he was an asshole this wouldn't be so hard. _Brittany went back to texting Santana, trying to be as vague as possible, but still being honest. "Um, well, I was planning on me and you going together, but I think he's going with Finn and Puck. –B" There. No lies, just letting it slip in but also making it clear she wanted to be with Santana for the night, not with Artie.

Brittany knew this was not going to go over well but she couldn't lie to the Latina. Santana always knew when Britt was lying, and even through a text, San would know.

"Well, have fun with that. –S" _Gosh damn it you stubborn bitch! _Brittany's own thoughts brought herself up short. She had never called Santana a bitch. Not one time had either of them, in all their years of being best friends, ever called each other a bad name. Not dumb, or stupid, or a slut, or a bitch, or anything else. They didn't need to. They had each other's back and not once did any of those words come out of their mouths to one another. _It was in my head. I didn't say it out loud. I didn't mean that!_ She was almost praying that Santana didn't have some crazy super powers of hearing her thoughts, because if she did, she's sure Santana would probably be bounding through her English Class's door to throttle her.

The blonde knew that Santana was not happy with the way things were right now. She just needed to see Santana, explain to her that she loved her and that she needed to work out everything with Artie before they could be together. Artie wasn't the best boyfriend in the world, but she knew he deserved better than a cheating girlfriend who only loved him but wasn't in love with him. She knew "the different plumbing" was a crock of shit, but she went along with it because she loved being with Santana so much. And since, well, up until yesterday, Santana wasn't up to being open about their relationship, she didn't understand why staying with Artie was such a bad thing, at least until San was 100 percent sure about being out in the open with Brittany on her arm.

She could see Santana's point of view, but then again, that was the first time the brunette had ever fully opened up to her. How could she possibly expect Brittany to just drop Artie when Santana could barely conceal her fear of admitting her love to Brittany? It wasn't fair. _She's not playing fair!_ Brittany thought as the bell rang. _I've told her a million times I loved her and she tells me once and expects me to just break up with my boyfriend and fall into her arms and tell her I was sorry for being with a guy when all I wanted was her? Hell to the no. _Brittany's anger flashed through her body so fast, she wasn't sure what she was texting Santana until it was too late and the message flew from her phone and into the brunettes.

* * *

><p>"<strong>MAYBE<strong> you could get your head out of your ass and realize I'm trying to make things up to you. But it's fine. It's FINE. I'll go to Terrance's house and have a kick ass time without you and you can sleep alone this weekend. Or maybe you can go and fuck Puck again. –B"

The second long text caught the brunette off guard. _Did B really just cuss at me? Did she really just say that to me? There's no way, someone else has to have her phone…_ but, after re-reading the text, she could see Brittany's frustration flying through. Punctuation pretty much said it all. If Britt put periods at the end of her sentences, you knew she was serious. And for the second time in two days, the Latina could feel her heart breaking.

But as soon as that feeling hit, another feeling took over; anger. Pure rage coursed through Santana's veins as she re-read the text over and over, trying to figure out what she meant about having sex with Puck and making things up to her. Didn't Brittany understand that all she wanted was her? Maybe Brittany missed some things, but Santana was fairly clear about how she felt. But before she could think anymore into it, her phone went off again.

"I didn't mean that. At all. I'm sorry. The parties canceled anyways, it's not till tomorrow now. Please don't hate me. Please. –B"

Santana wanted to tell her to fuck off, but she knew she couldn't say that to the blonde even if the world would end if she didn't. There was no way she could ever hate the blonde, and as much as she wanted to make Brittany suffer for sending her a text like that, she immediately responded…

"I don't hate you. There's nothing in this world that could ever make me hate you. –S"

A little more than relieved that she could stop a fight before it started, Santana decided she needed to do something with her life. She couldn't think of anything until, like some sort of saving grace, her mom called to tell her they were going out of town and that Santana would have the house to herself. Even though she would never have a party, she loved the idea of a weekend without her parents shuffling in and out of the house. She felt a rush of pleasure when she thought of having crazy loud sex with Brittany on every surface in the house and not have to worry about getting caught. _Really. You really think you're gonna have her back in your arms that quick? You probably freaked her out. Make up with her now. _

She wasn't sure if it was the prospect of great sex or the thrill of a challenge, but Santana bounded off the couch and up the stairs, ready for a weekend full of her best friend.

* * *

><p>Brittany was standing outside of Santana's house and had been there for a good ten minutes without knocking. She knew she could let herself in, but she wasn't sure how this was going to go. She had snuck a bottle of wine from her parents collection and had it shoved in her duffle bag; excited for the sleep over, but not for the conversation that was sure to take place sometime throughout the night.<p>

Santana had texted her and told her about her parents being gone for the weekend. A surge of heat went through the blonde's body after reading that text, knowing she and San would have the whole house to themselves. She couldn't help but remember the first time they were home alone together for a weekend…

0o0o0o0o0o

_Santana was lying on her bed reading a Cosmo and Britt was sitting on the floor trying extremely hard to paint Panda's onto her toe nails. You don't realize how hard it is until you actually try it, she thought as she painted the black paint on top of the white. __She decided to call it quits and just painted every other toe black then white. It made her feel like a panda, so she was ok with that._

_After blowing on her toes for awhile, she climbed up to the bed to lay next to her best friend. They were both reading a very racy article about the best sex positions when Santana's scent slammed into her. That was all it took and they were doing what they had been doing since 8__th__ grade. Pushing each other down onto the bed and collapsing into each others kisses. No one could kiss quite like San, and Brittany loved nothing more than feeling her tongue sliding along the brunettes lower lip and moaning slightly when she was granted access. Their tongue's moved together in perfect sync; they had pretty much perfected cuddling and kissing and tonight was the most intense of them all._

_Brittany was straddling the Latina and had her hands intertwined in her hair when she felt the change in Santana's breathing. It was more ragged, almost as if she couldn't breathe. Brittany started to get off because she thought it was her fault, but suddenly, the Latina latched onto Brittany's hips and pulled her back down. _

_Santana's hands started to wind their way up the blonde's shirt and before Brittany could even squeak out a protest, she was doing the same. Their shirts were on the floor before either of them could take another breath. They moved against each other, almost like an instinct was taking over… almost like this was something they were born to do and if they didn't it would be against nature… not loving each other was against their nature… _

_0o0o0o0o0o0o_

Brittany was pulled from the memory as the door swung open and Santana eyed her critically. She didn't like that the Latina was giving her these looks, but she knew she deserved them, and she shuffled in past the brunette to throw her stuff into Santana's room. She barely had her duffle bag off her shoulder when she felt familiar arms wrap around her stomach and soft kisses on the back of her neck.

She knew she should stop it. She knew she was vulnerable right now and Santana would get the wrong idea is she let it continue. She needed to talk to Santana before any of this happened, but the kisses and the hands felt so right against her body that the only thing that she could think of was the memory that had assaulted her mind at the front door….

0o0o0o0o0o0o

_Santana had on nothing but her underwear by the time either of them realized how far this was going. Brittany pulled back and wasn't sure how she ended up half naked, but in the second she realized it, she also realized she hadn't felt more right in a long time. She slowly started trailing her hands down Santana's stomach and she could see the brunette shutter under her fingers. It made her smile to know that she had the same effect on the brunette that she had on her. She was nervous because this was all new, but Santana was familiar, and this helped her courage as her hands ran over the outside of the Latina's blue lace thong._

_Santana's eyes were rolling into the back of her head by the time Brittany's hands had removed the lace that kept them even a fraction of an inch away from one another. Brittany's fingers created a fire wherever they went and before she knew it, she was reaching the highest of highs, and began tumbling back down, her body shivering with pleasure. The blonde let her ride it out, keeping her hands where they were, creating an even better orgasm than Santana had ever experienced. _

_Brittany looked at Santana and saw the brunette looking at her through her lashes. Her eyes were glazed over as the blonde watched the final spasm rake through her body. Britt could tell she had enjoyed herself, but not even Santana knew how much Brittany enjoyed giving her that type of satisfaction… The Latina had no idea that at that moment, the blonde was looking at everything she ever wanted, everything she could ever need…_

_0o0o0o0o0o_

Brittany snapped out of her daze only to realize she was already on her back on Santana's bed, kisses being pressed to her cheeks, her eyes, her mouth, her neck, down to her stomach. _You have to stop this now! _"San, stop." _Wow. I've never said that before. _She could see the confusion on the Latina's face as she was kissing her stomach, but Santana did stop. Not only did she stop, she got up, pulled on her shirt (_when did she take it off? _Britt thought) and stomped down the stairs.

Brittany huffed and went after her. She didn't like seeing Santana unhappy, watching her cry at their lockers and while singing Landslide was enough to break her heart, but seeing all the pain in those brown eyes be because of her, well, she couldn't handle it.

Santana was standing in the living room when Brittany found her. She had her back to the door but Brittany knew Santana had heard her come into the room.

"Why are you even hear Brittany?" Hearing the Latina say her full name sent a thrill through her spine, but she wasn't sure if it was from passion or from fear; she only said her full name if she was super happy or supper mad.

"I always want to be here…" Brittany realized this wasn't the right thing to say because she saw Santana's body spin around and face her with so much anger in her face it actually made the blonde flinch and take a step back from her best friend.

"YOU WANT TO BE HERE?" The Latina screamed at her. "How can you possibly mean that when you push me away again and again! I can only take so much of this before I break Brittany!"

"Don't yell at me San…" was all the blonde could say as her body betrayed her and tears began to fall down her cheeks.

"Well, maybe if you weren't so stupid and actually listened to me.." Santana stopped short. She had never in her life said those words to her best friend. _No, no no no no. I didn't mean that. Oh my god Santana why did those words come out of your mouth. _But before she could ever register what was going on, she heard her front door slam and the sound of Brittany's car starting.

"No." was all Santana could yell as she raced toward the road. The last thing she saw was the blonde's car speeding away from her, taking the turn way too fast, and racing out of sight.

* * *

><p><em>Why did she have to be so mean? Why could she not just be vulnerable for a few minutes and understand that I love her more than anything in my world? More than Glee, more than anyone else in the entire world; how could she not see that? I know I said some stupid stuff at our lockers, but she knows me! She knows I can't always get my words out right. Why couldn't she see what I was trying to say?<em>

Brittany's thoughts were a mess by the time she left Lima Heights. She couldn't even remember how to get home, so instead she just drove around, waiting for some clue as to where to turn next. She had to do something to occupy her time, so she took to the one thing that could free her from this madness and clicked on the radio…

_..She's starin' at me, I'm sittin' wonderin' what she's thinkin'…  
>..Nobody's talkin' 'cause talkin' just turns into screamin'…<br>..And now I'm yellin' over her, she yellin' over me,…  
>..All that that means is neither of us is listening…<em>

_..And what's even worse…_  
><em>..We don't even remember why we're fighting…<em>  
><em>..So both of us are mad for nothing…<em>  
><em>..Fighting for nothing,…<em>  
><em>..Crying for nothing, whoa…<em>  
><em>..But we won't let it go for nothing,…<em>  
><em>..No not for nothing,…<em>  
><em>..This should be nothing, to a love like what we got…<em>

She pulled herself from the song only long enough to realize she needed to pull over. The tears that were leaving her eyes made it impossible to drive…

_..Girl, I don't wanna go to bed mad at you…_  
><em>..And I don't want you to go to bed mad at me…<em>  
><em>..No, I don't wanna go to bed mad at you…<em>  
><em>..And I don't want you to go to bed mad at me…<em>  
><em>..Oh no no no….<em>

'I have to text her… I can't leave it like this.. I can't…"

_...Whoa, what happened to workin' it out?..._  
><em>..We've fall into this place…<em>  
><em>..Where you ain't backin' down and I ain't backin' down…<em>  
><em>..So what the hell do we do now?...<em>  
><em>..It's all for nothing…<em>

_..And what's even worse…_  
><em>..That we don't even remember why we're fighting…<em>  
><em>..So both of us are mad for nothing…<em>  
><em>..Fighting for nothing,…<em>  
><em>..Crying for nothing, whoa…<em>  
><em>..But we won't let it go for nothing,…<em>  
><em>..No not for nothing,…<em>  
><em>..This should be nothing to a love like what we got…<em>

_..Oh baby, I know sometimes it's gonna rain…_  
><em>..But baby, can we make up now?...<em>  
><em>..'Cause I can't sleep through the pain…<em>  
><em>..Can't sleep through the pain…<em>

_..Girl, I don't wanna go to bed mad at you…_  
><em>..And I don't want you to go to bed mad at me…<em>  
><em>..No, I don't wanna go to bed mad at you…<em>  
><em>..And I don't want you to go to bed mad at me…<em>  
><em>..Oh no no no…<em>

Brittany's fingers were already typing the words. "I'm sorry; I know you didn't mean that. I shouldn't have left. I'll be there in a few minutes. –B" But, after re-reading the text, she remembered why she had left in the first place. Santana had called her stupid. Santana always meant what she said. Without sending the text, Brittany put her phone back in her purse and drove the rest of the way home, climbing the stairs to her room and locking her door before anyone could ask her why she was home. She didn't want to have to explain. She didn't want to have anyone see her like this. Face down on her bed, tears running onto her pillow, squeezing her favorite stuffed animal, and trying to stop the sob that was about to escape from her throat.

She heard her phone beep from her purse, and only with a hint of irritation did she grab it from her bag and then just as quickly want to throw it against the wall when she saw the name on the front. **San**

She was terrified to open the phone, afraid of the things Santana still wanted to yell at the blonde since she left before she could finish. When she saw the words, a fresh wave of tears ran down her face and another sob broke through her chest. It was simple, but it meant the world.

"I'm Sorry. I love you. –S"

* * *

><p><strong>So, what cha think? I'm still working out the kinks, but I like the challenge of writing this story. It's fun to come up with new things. <strong>

**Well, let me know what you think! **

**Honestly, I don't think I'll be updating as quickly from now on, because it takes me a few hours to really get into the mood and with another school week coming up, it'll be harder. But I promise, I'll have a new chapter soon. So for now, enjoy!**


	3. Chapter 3, You Got It Bad

**A/n: Hello all! Thanks for the reviews you 3, it really does make me feel better knowing that someone is enjoying this! Lol **

**Ok, quick a/n today, this chapter is called, You Got It Bad, the song is of course by my favorite artist EVER, Usher. That pretty much sums it up! Oh, and more smut, sorry kidos!**

* * *

><p><strong>Chapter 3<br>You Got It Bad**

Brittany couldn't bring herself to respond to Santana's text message. She couldn't shake the feeling inside her that her and the Latina could _just_ be friends anymore and that maybe they needed a few days of cooling off before seeing or speaking to each other again. So when Brittany walked out of her room the next morning, she couldn't help the internal groan when her mom asked why she wasn't with Santana.

"I don't know mom, we kind of got in a fight last night, so I came home." the blonde said as she tried not to meet her mother's eyes.

Mrs. Pierce was not as oblivious to Santana's and Brittany's relationship as she let on. She knew there was something there; something more that was always hidden deep between the two girls. She never said anything, knowing that if it came down to it, Brittany would tell her if she wanted to. But she couldn't ignore the steely blue her daughters' eyes had been when she walked into the kitchen, or the way she flinched when Mrs. Pierce mentioned Santana.

"Honey, are you sure everything is ok?" Mrs. Pierce (Marcia) asked. "I mean, you guys are practically inseparable. I've never even heard of you two fighting with one…"

"Mom," Brittany cut her off, "please, just, don't."

Marcia said nothing, instead just walking up behind her daughter and giving her a quick squeeze around the shoulders as she made her breakfast.

"It'll be ok sweetie," she crowned in her ear, "you two will make it right. You can't be without each other, everyone knows that." And with that, Mrs. Pierce strolled from the kitchen, her mouth set in a worried line.

Brittany shut her eyes and took a deep breath, praying that everything her mom had said was true.

* * *

><p>Santana woke up with a pounding headache. <em>Damn all this crying! It's making me into such a wuss!<em> She kneaded her eyes with the back of her hand and found that her phone was still clutched in one of them. The night flooding back to her, she flipped it open. No response. She stayed up half the night waiting for her phone to go off, but when Britt didn't text her back, she fell in bed, and for the second night in a row, had cried herself to sleep.

Santana couldn't believe Brittany didn't respond by morning though. They usually didn't go more than a few hours without some sort of communication. It actually made her nervous that something had happened to her, maybe driving a little too fast to get away from the Latina, maybe she got in a wreck or something.

Thinking the absolute worst, she called the blonde. It rang twice before going straight to voicemail; she had been ignored. _Ouch, wasn't expecting that. At least she's alive!_ The Latina thought as the beep sounded, "Hi Britt, I was just checking on you, making sure you got home ok last night. You didn't answer my text and it kind of freaked me out." The Latina knew she would beg if she had to, anything to get the blonde to come back to her. "But anyway, I'm sorry about last night, I shouldn't have said that Brittany… I know I…"

_Beep. Voicemail full. _The brunette was cut off by the voicemail lady before she could finish what she wanted to say, but knowing that Brittany would get the point, decided not to call back. A few minutes later, her phone beeped, and she had a text from **Britt-Britt.**

"I'm fine."

_She goes from sending 3 page texts to two words. Awesome, she's obviously still pissed._ The brunette chastised herself again for being such an idiot about last night, but decided not to push the blonde any further. She responded with a simple, "Ok, good." and went straight to her closet to pick out what she was going to wear to Terrance's that night.

She knew it was sneaky and a little rude and completely insane, but she had to see Brittany, even if it meant surprising her by showing up to Terrance's party tonight. She also knew that if she showed up in a pair of short white shorts, a teal silky top, and black stiletto heels, no one would be upset that she came. She also loved the fact that she could get totally hammered and could just walk home because Terrance only lived a couple of blocks away.

After thinking about walking back drunk, the heels didn't look so appealing, but after realizing how hot her legs would look in them, she decided the pain would be worth it.

She spent the whole day getting ready. Making sure her hair, which pissed her off on a daily basis, was perfectly straight, each eye lash perfectly curled, and that her makeup was flawless. She knew it was now or never as she grabbed her purse, another bottle of vodka (screw the Glee pact), and made her way to Terrance's house.

* * *

><p>Brittany sat on the couch, waiting for Artie to get dropped off so they could get to the party. It was almost 9:30 by the time he arrived, totally late and not apologizing for it. All he could say was, "Sexy takes time baby" as Brittany leaned in to give him a kiss. She could feel him smile against her lips, something he always did, almost like he was the luckiest guy in the world. It made her feel horrible to think about all the times she had cheated on him with San, but she couldn't shake the fact that, at the same time, she didn't care.<p>

It made her heart ache a little knowing that just yesterday she was begging Santana to come with her to this party. They loved to do things like this together. They could get drunk and make out with each other in front of everyone, and no one would be the wiser. No one knew that their kissing was much deeper than just two drunken friends trying to turn on some guys. As she thought about all their drunken partying together, a very happy memory came to mind…

0o0o0o0o0o

"_A Rachel Berry party, I'm sure this is gonna be a blast!" the Latina laughed sarcastically as they knocked on the door. Rachel answered, wearing a dress that could only be described as horrible, and lead them downstairs. Rachel handed them some drink tickets which Santana immediately wanted to throw away, but Brittany talked her out of it, knowing that at least they'd have two free drinks before ditching the party and going somewhere else._

_It wasn't until Puck talked Rachel into cracking open her dad's liquor cabinet and deciding to drink everything they could, that the party really got going. They were taking shots, playing games, and singing on stage the entire night._

_Brittany was in shorts and her bra before she was even drunk, but this is how she partied. She was the crazy one who loved to dance on anyone who would let her, plus she loved showing off her abs. She was proud of those things and since she quit Cheerios, no one got to see them, well, except Artie and Santana. So when she was laid back on the table and Santana was pouring salt and tequila on her stomach, her abs couldn't help but tighten up. She was on her way to being wasted and feeling the Latina's tongue slide up her torso, well, let's just say she couldn't control the shiver that coursed through her body. _

_They were playing a game of spin the bottle when things started to get testy. Sam and her were about to kiss when Santana piped in about those lips being hers, and Brittany couldn't help but wonder, even though the comment was made to look directed about Sam, if the Latina was talking about hers. They kissed and when they pulled apart, you could actually feel the tension rolling off the brunette. The night continued in the same way, everyone hanging on each other and nibbling on necks and ear lobes, hoping to get a bit further with their significant other before the night closed in around them. People were passing out everywhere, the floor, the couch, the stage; but there were two people still awake, passing the bottle of tequila between them, pinkies locked, waiting for the rest of their friends to drift off into a drunken slumber. _

_Before Brittany could register what was happening, the Latina had grabbed her around the wrist and was pulling her up the stairs. They made their way into the guest bedroom and Santana was muttering comments against the blonde's lips about "fantastic ass" and "legs that were miles long" and "abs of steel". Brittany couldn't help but mutter back about "brown eyes" and "having thighs wrapped around her waist". _

_They pretty much destroyed the bedroom that night, trying very hard to hide the broken side of the lamp by turning it toward the wall and by remaking the bed the best they could._

_0o0o0o0o0o_

_It was drunk sex, _Brittany thought as she remembered she was driving with Artie in the car, _but oh man it was great sex. _She actually had to try to hide her blush as she remembered the night but she couldn't ignore the fire that was burning in the pit of her stomach.

* * *

><p><em>Yep, this party is lame. <em>Santana thought as she strolled through the rooms, trying to act casual but really looking for a certain set of blue eyes. _Glad I got dressed up for this. _She was still kind of smug though; the look on everyone's face when she walked in the door was pretty flattering. Every girl took a major hit to their self esteem when she walked in and the guys couldn't help but flock to her in hopes she would choose him for the night.

Everyone was giving her grief for drinking, but one look from the Latina's fiery eyes told them not to test her tonight. She was halfway through the bottle of vodka when she saw the shiny blonde hair across the room. She wasn't stupid; she knew the exact shade of Brittany's hair… Just like she knew the exact shade of her eyes, the curve of her body, and the feel of her lips traveling down the Blonde's neck… _OK. STOP. _Santana had to literally will herself back to the scene in front of her, but when she did, she instantly regretted it. She hadn't noticed the boy in the wheelchair, but when she did, she couldn't help but feel her legs giving out and she stumbled to the nearest chair to keep from falling over.

_This isn't fair! That should be me; I should be standing beside her, my hand around her waist, pulling her down for a quick kiss. It should be me! _The Latina was pretty much screaming these words in her mind when a football player sauntered over and sat down next to her. She couldn't quite hide the look of disgust on her face when she felt him wrap his arm around her, but, in a moment of rage, she closed her eyes and started kissing him, not even sure who had actually sat down beside her. It was all she could do to keep her from striding over to the blonde, grabbing her, and making sure everyone knew who she really wanted to be kissing.

She heard a squeak from across the room, over the music, and knew Brittany must have just seen what she was doing. She pulled away from the football player, barely noting his face (thank God it was Sam), and whipped her head around to lock eyes with the blonde. _Oh damn, those eyes. _She saw Britt sweep out of the room and into the kitchen, and before she realized what she was doing, she was running after her. She knew the noise the blonde had made was because she was upset, and even though every nerve in her body wanted to tell the blonde she couldn't have her cake and eat it to, she kept running after her.

* * *

><p><em>For ONE! What in the hell is she doing here? <em>Brittany was in the bathroom now, trying very hard to stop the tears that were escaping her eyes. _And two, why does she have to do this to me? She tells me she loves me and then makes out with him right in front of me! _She stopped rambling to herself when she heard the knock on the door. "Go away!" she practically screamed, realizing how sad her voice sounded.

"It's me." She didn't want to open the door for the brunette, but she couldn't turn her away again. She slowly opened the door and the Latina walked in, shutting it behind her. They didn't say anything for a moment, just staring at each other, trying to figure out the best way to keep it civil but also wanting to lash out at each other for both of them being so stubborn.

The blonde spoke first, needing to break the silence between them, "Please San, please just leave me alone…" Her body was betraying her, because she wanted to be as far from the Latina as possible, but her body could not help but stay planted right in front of her.

She looked up in time to see Santana's eyes start to do the melting thing they do when the Latina was struggling with something inside of her. Brittany didn't want Santana to go away, but she also didn't want the Latina to yell at her. She couldn't handle another tongue lashing from the fiery brunette, once had been enough.

"Look I'm sorry," Santana said as she grabbed Brittany's chin to make her look at her, "I'm sorry. I saw you with Artie and it hurts Britt, it does! I wasn't sure if I should have run from the house or what, so I just had to hide it. And I'm sorry, I know it's not fair that I do that to you, but I can't handle seeing you with him B, it breaks my heart." The Latina was trying hard to hold the blonde's gaze, but Brittany kept looking down, trying to squirm out from her hand that was still resting under her chin.

"I just have to know Britt, am I wasting my time." The brunette was scared of the answer, but she needed to know. She couldn't keep putting herself through this; running toward Brittany only to be pushed away and then running away only to come running back. It was going to make her crazy. She was terrified to look up, but when she did, she wasn't expecting what she saw. Brittany looked so astounded by the question; she could do nothing but shake her head. If it hadn't been such a serious conversation, the Latina knows she would have laughed.

"Are you kidding me?" The blonde had yelled so loud the Latina actually jumped. "Wasting your time?" She spat the words out like they were something sour in her mouth. "YOU are the one who is afraid! YOU are the one who is worried about what people will say! YOU are the one who STILL hasn't broken up with Sam because you're terrified of being alone!" Santana couldn't help but notice that this was the first time all of these things had been said to her. She felt strangely insecure as her best friend continued to tear her down, piece by piece. "YOU want me to end it with my boyfriend, a guy who treats me like a queen, because you want to be with me but you're too scared for people to know! I told you months ago that I would be with you, that I wanted ONLY you, and now that you've finally caught up to where I've been for MONTHS, MONTHS SANTANA, you just expect me to call it quits with Artie!"

The Blonde stopped to take a breath, only now realizing she was inches from Santana's face, breathing heavily and staring into the eyes of the person she loved. She could feel her anger leaving her body, but she still had one more thing to say. "So, until you can show me that you can love me, actually love me Santana, and not behind closed doors, I won't leave Artie." The blonde took a step back, hoping she hadn't ruined anything but still grateful to get all of that out without even tumbling over her words. She was so proud of herself, she almost missed the look on the brunettes face. Santana looked broken. This was not the 'head bitch in charge' Santana; this was a girl who looked like she had just been slapped in the face. Brittany couldn't do anything, she just stood there as the brunette tried to form words, but finally it was too much. She noticed Santana looked close to collapsing onto the floor, so the blonde wrapped her arms around the Latina and slid to the floor with her, just cradling her against her and praying that things could go back to being easy.

Santana sobbed in Brittany's chest and kept saying how sorry she was that she was so scared and how she wasn't ready to be out to everyone and that she wanted Brittany more than anything in the world and the only thing stopping her was her terror. Brittany let her cry, trying hard to not give in but still accepting the apology from the brunette. Santana was not ready to love her fully, and for now, Brittany was not willing to break Artie's heart for someone who couldn't fully give their heart to her.

* * *

><p>Finally, after many knocks on the bathroom door, both girls got up and made their way back out to the party. After a quick touch up, you couldn't even tell the Latina had been crying. She walked around the party like she owned the place, completely ignoring the blonde, the boy in the wheelchair, and even her boyfriend and taking long drags off of the now almost empty bottle of vodka.<p>

"Maybe you should let me take that." Sam had said after Santana half fell into him. The comment got Sam a sneer from the brunette as she quickly, (and very nimbly for a drunk girl), jumped away from his grasp before he could take the bottle. After another trip around the house, Santana decided she needed to dance some of the alcohol from her system. She finished off the bottle, throwing it hard into the trash can and grabbed Sam and pulled him out onto the dance floor. He was so used to her bipolar mood swings that he chalked it up as just another crazy Santana moment.

She couldn't help but look at Brittany while she danced circles around everyone. _Damn my girl can move. Wait. My girl? Really Santana? Get a fucking grip, she's not yours._ With that one hard mental check into the boards, she started dancing with Sam in a not so teenage sort of way. Grinding into his hips, she could see how excited he was for this attention. She turned to face him and couldn't help but notice his lips, and before she could think about the consequences, she was kissing him again. It started slow but began to build and before she knew it, they were gettin their mack on in front of everyone.

After a couple of wolf whistles from a few of the guys, Santana remembered where she was and pulled away. Sam looked pretty pleased with himself, and when Santana looked into his eyes, she realized something; she felt nothing. That kiss didn't blow her mind; it didn't even turn her on. She was about to say this when someone hit the lights and turned on a slow song, making the party feel like an 8th grade dance.

When 'You Got It Bad' started playing, she wasn't listening at first, just revolving in slow circles, but when she glanced over Sam's shoulders and saw those striking blue eyes staring back at her, the song seemed to hit a little closer to home…

_...When you feel it in your body…  
>…You found somebody who…<br>.. Makes you change your ways...  
>..Like hanging with your crew<br>..Said you act like you ready but you don't really know…  
>..Everything in your past- you wanna let go…<em>

_..I've been there, done it, fucked around…  
>..After all that - this is what I found…<br>..Nobody wants to be alone…  
>..If you're touched by the words in this song,<br>..Then baby..._

_..You got, you got it bad…  
>..When you're on the phone…<br>..Hang up and you call right back…  
>..You got, you got it bad…<br>..If you miss a day without your friend …  
>..Your whole life's off track…<br>..You know you got it bad when you're stuck in the house…  
>..You don't wonna have fun…<br>..It's all you think about…  
>..You got it bad when you're out with someone…<br>..But you keep on thinking' bout somebody else…  
>..You got it bad…<em>

Santana could do nothing but just stand there as the words in the song made her feel like a huge weight was pressing down on her body. She knew what she wanted, hell, she was looking at it. She didn't want to go home with Sam tonight, she didn't want to stand here and dance with him like he meant something to her; she wanted to be with Brittany.

_..When you say that you love 'em…  
>..And you really know…<br>..Everything that used to matter, don't matter no more…  
>..Like my money, all my cars…<br>..(you can have it all back)…  
>..Flowers, cards and candy…<br>..( I do it just cause I'm...)…  
>..Fortunate to have you girl…<br>..I want you to know…  
>..I really adore you…<em>

She looked up at Sam, trying to think of the best way to say this without putting a major blow to his ego, but it just came out bitchy. "If you're wantin to get all up on this, you better go get me a drink." He pretty much sprinted from the room, leaving Santana only a little time to get her stuff and leave. She just couldn't be here anymore, and feeling the blonde's eyes on her back, she grabbed her purse, yanked the door open and threw herself out into the night.

* * *

><p>Brittany wasn't sure what made her do it; maybe the look in Santana's eyes when that song was on, or the way it physically hurt Brittany to see the Latina leave the house, but all at once she was telling Artie goodnight and that she had to go. He wanted to stay and Sam offered to drive him home. Brittany didn't know what the word was, but irony was written all over this situation. She was chasing Santana, and both of their boyfriends were now keeping each other company.<p>

She ran out into the night, knowing Santana couldn't have made it far in the last couple of minutes. She was wasted and wearing those heels that made her ass look amazing; there was no way she got far. But, as the blonde looked up the street toward Santana's house, she didn't see the brunette anywhere. Slowly, and finally being hit by the large amount of alcohol that was in her own system, she started to make her way towards the Latina's house.

She didn't realize how sick to her stomach she had felt until she saw the light on in Santana's room. She didn't realize how worried she was about her making it home safe until she knew for sure that the Latina was already curling up in bed for the night. She knew if she knocked on the door, the brunette wouldn't come down to let her in, so in a very practiced move, she slowly made her way up to the top of the garage roof and tapped on Santana's window. The brunette didn't open it, so Britt decided to just crawl into the house without the decency of an invitation.

Santana was curled up on her bed, still in her clothes from the party, and looking extremely tense. She knew it was Brittany crawling through her window, so she didn't even bother to turn over to face her. Brittany slowly made her way to the Latina's bed, laying down beside her best friend and throwing her arm over her body to snuggle in closer to her. Both of them were silent for a long time, but Brittany could feel the slight convulsions coming from the Latina while she silently cried in her arms. _This is too much to take; I can't stand her crying anymore. I know it's my fault but it's also her fault. This is so confusing; I wish she'd just look at me._

Almost as if she had said it out loud, Santana rolled over to face Brittany. There were tear stains down her cheeks, but they had stopped flowing. She reached over to push a small strand of blonde hair behind Brittany's ear and whispered a simple 'hey'. Brittany couldn't help but whisper a small 'hi San' back to her best friend, and for the first time in almost a week, she felt whole.

* * *

><p>The Latina was still slightly confused as to why Brittany had followed her home, but she couldn't bring herself to ask the blonde. She wanted to lie there forever, but her feet were killing her and she didn't want to fall asleep with all the makeup on her face. So, she pulled herself away from the blonde and made her way into her bathroom to clean up a little. She still was very drunk and decided she needed to take a shower to clear her head.<p>

The water was hot and immediately started to clear her mind of the drunken haze it had been in. _Ugh, I'm never drinking again. I know I'm going to hate myself in the morning for this. _She thought as she let the water wash away all feelings of Sam, and alcohol, and sweat, and smoke. She wanted to yell for Brittany to join her, but she thought better of it and continued to shower… it made her feel oddly alone. Knowing the blonde would most likely join her if she asked, but also knowing the blonde would have reservations about it as well. It made this all the more confusing as she grabbed a towel to dry off.

Brittany was still sitting on her bed when the brunette walked into her room to grab some clothes to sleep in. "So," the brunette asked as she reached for her shorts, "do you want some clothes to sleep in or are you going home?" She couldn't help the rush of heat in her body as her mind was immediately praying that the blonde would stay.

"I was going to grab some myself," the blonde said, looking a little scared, "but I wasn't sure if you'd want me to stay or not." The Latina noticed that she was biting on her bottom lip so hard, it looked like it had to be painful. She walked over and put her hand on Brittany's cheek and rubbed her thumb across the blondes' lips to make her relax. She felt the blonde lean into her hand as Santana said, "I always want you to stay…" They stayed like that, Brittany's head laid against Santana's hand, for a few minutes, until finally the brunette let out a breath she didn't realize she was holding, and started to turn back to her bathroom to get dressed. Normally she would just change right there, but she wasn't sure how comfortable the blonde would be with her changing in front of her.

As she turned to leave, she felt familiar hands grip her wrist and swing her back around. Brittany was still sitting on the bed as she pulled Santana into a bone crushing hug. The blonde buried her face into the Latina's stomach and just held onto her, not wanting to let go but also not sure why she couldn't just let the brunette walk away from her. Santana couldn't help but kiss the top of the blonde's head and almost by some miracle, Brittany turned her face up and kissed Santana for the first time since her confession.

_Oh my god I've missed you. _That was all the Latina could think as the towel she had been trying to keep around her fell to the floor and she was falling down onto the bed; pulling the blonde with her as she went.

* * *

><p><em>I probably shouldn't be doing this. This is probably a bad idea. It's sending the wrong message. Oh hell, who am I kidding? This is all I could ever want…<em> Brittany couldn't suppress the moan that escaped from her lips when she started to kiss Santana. Their lips molded around each other's, tongue's swiping across lower lips, in turn making the kisses deeper and much more invigorating.

It took Brittany a moment to realize that Santana was already naked and that she was far behind on the clothes removal process, but Santana was already working on that. She was kissing the blonde's knee, down to her calves and slowly removing the strappy heels she had worn to the party. After her heels were off, the Latina moved her lips back up to her neck, running her hands from the blonde's thigh, over the tight curve of her stomach, and slowing and very skillfully removing her shirt. Brittany couldn't help but grab Santana around the waist and pull her on top of her; she wanted to feel the Latina on every inch of her skin.

* * *

><p>Santana knew how to work Brittany. She knew how to slowly slide off her jeans, making the blonde be patient, when really all the Latina wanted was to rip her clothes off piece by piece. She couldn't help but stare at the blonde from head to toe after the rest of Brittany's clothes were on the floor. Her face was beautiful, the curves of her body amazing, her breasts the perfect size for the Latina's hands, and her legs, which were slightly apart, bucking toward her in a 'come here' sort of way. The Latina couldn't suppress the small smile that began forming on her face as she stared down at her lover… she was just so gorgeous. She couldn't understand how she had gotten so lucky, but with a very impatient nudge from the blonde, she was brought back to the moment.<p>

The Latina and the blonde had always been able to satisfy each other to the fullest extent. Santana's tongue was everywhere; on the blondes lips, on her neck, her breasts, her stomach, her clit, and deeper. Santana knew when Brittany was enjoying herself because the blonde would grab a handful of the Latina's hair, trying very hard not to go over the edge too soon. Santana knew when she was getting close, and would always pull back to extend the pleasure a little longer. But when she couldn't handle it anymore, the blonde's body would tremble with the sensations coursing through her lower stomach. Santana would always pull back at this point, replacing her tongue for her fingers so she could watch the blonde ride out her orgasm. It always made Santana feel good knowing that she could make the blonde feel so amazing.

* * *

><p>Brittany loved looking at Santana through her lashes as her body gave her one last shiver of pleasure. She almost immediately grabbed Santana and pulled her back up to her lips. She wanted to just <em>feel<em> the brunette as close to her as possible; she wanted to take her into her skin and never let her go. She had already put Santana on her back on the bed, ready to give the brunette a mind blowing experience, when she heard Santana whisper her name.

She looked up from the Latina's breast in time to see the first tear leave her eyes. They were silent tears, but they were more real than Brittany had ever seen them. She crawled back up to the Latina's face, pressing kisses to her cheeks to wipe away the pain flowing down them. She didn't understand what was going on until Santana very quickly, and very quietly, whispered to her, "It's ok, you don't have to. I know you can't be with me because I can't fully be with you, but it's ok, you don't have to do this anymore…" The Latina was still crying, refusing to meet the blonde's eyes as Brittany stared down at her.

Brittany kissed the lid of each of those brown eyes and couldn't help the tears falling from her own. She kissed Santana lightly on the lips and felt their tears mix together, their pain, both the same and different, flowing down each other's faces. She knew why the Latina was saying those things. She knew that Santana didn't mean them, but she didn't want Brittany to feel like she had to participate if she really didn't want to be there.

Brittany looked down at the Latina and very softly whispered against her neck, "San, I always want to be with you..." Knowing this might upset the Latina, she continued, "I love the way you smell, the way you taste, the way you hold on to me when we sleep. I love making you happy, seeing you smile, and even though I hate seeing them, I love kissing away your tears." To prove her point, she kissed the corner of the Latina's eye, stopping a tear from escaping. "And I want to make you happy, and to feel good, and I will always be here, no matter what. I can see it in your eyes that you're terrified, but baby, I never want to be away from you, not even for a day. You are my best friend in the entire world, and, until we can get this all sorted out, I will always be your best friend. And I will always want you."

A sob escape the Latina's throat as she leaned into Brittany's lips and pulled the blonde closer. They laid there, legs intertwined, kissing each other passionately while hands roamed up and down the familiar bodies. It felt too perfect to end and it was almost sun rise by the time they were ready to sleep.

Grabbing the Latina around the waist and pulling her flush against her body, Brittany knew she needed to figure things out fast. She couldn't continue to cheat on Artie and she couldn't continue to see her best friend's heart be broken. So, as dreams began to overtake her mind, she made a promise to herself to remember this feeling; the feeling of Santana sleeping against her, fingers laced together, the intoxicating smell of her hair and skin that was crashing against her senses. This was all she could ever need, and as Usher's words floated into her mind, she smiled and kissed the back of the Latina's neck, falling asleep with the words 'you got it bad…' playing in her mind.

* * *

><p><strong>Alrighty, well, another chapter done! I only will have a couple more to go and should be caught up with the season this far. And with Glee coming back next week, I'll have more ideas to draw from! Anywho, hope you enjoyed it!<strong>


	4. Chapter 4, Almost Lover

**Ok, so this chapter literally just hit me when I was listening to some Pandora. You can thank that little Iphone app for this chapter. This is not going to be a fluffy chapter with awesome sex or happy make up sessions, its total angst. There's my warning. The chapter name is the song 'Almost Lover' by A Fine Frenzy. After hearing the first 2 lines of the song, I knew I had to use it… **

**I also have a couple of other songs thrown in here as well! I'll give you names at the end of the chapter. **

**p.s. This story is taking an emotional toll on my mind. It's hard to write because it's so damn sad, but it's kind of where I am right now, so I might not be able to come back to it for a few days after this chapter. We'll see though, it all depends on how far/where this chapter goes. If it gets me through the Original Songs episode, then I won't re-visit it until after the new Glee on Tuesday. Like I said, we'll see though! **

**Disclaimer: Glee's not mine, unfortunately. **

* * *

><p><strong>Chapter 4<br>Almost Lover**

Santana couldn't help but want to stay there forever; she could feel Brittany's arm thrown across her stomach, the warmth from the blonde's body pressed tightly against her own. She could literally lay here forever and be the happiest person in the world. She didn't even want to open her eyes in fear of losing this feeling. _Feelings…_ thought the brunette as the blonde let out a sigh in her sleep. _Brittany always said it was better with feelings, huh, I guess she was right. _

The Latina smiled to herself as she looked over at her best friend; head on her shoulder and a small smile on her beautiful lips. She leaned in and gave the blonde a light kiss on the forehead and snuggled in closer as once again, a content sigh escaped from the blonde. She wanted to kiss the blonde awake, let her know that she was still here and that she was ready to do this relationship for real. She tucked the tousled blonde hair behind Brittany's ear and leaned in to wake her up properly.

Brittany smiled into the kiss and whispered 'good morning' before intertwining her fingers with Santana's. Santana couldn't help but correct her with a 'good afternoon' before pulling away and putting her head on the blonde's chest. She loved to hear her heart beat; it made her feel more alive when she could hear the pace quicken as she trailed her fingers over Brittany's bare stomach, drawing pattern less designs with her nails. It was a perfect way to wake up, something she could get used to. The thought brought her up short; _wow, I think I'm ready for this. I think I can handle this. _It made her feel good to know that even though she still had her fears, she knew that if she had Brittany, she could handle anything.

The silence between them was a comfortable one, which was odd because usually after they had sex, they would fill the silence with chatter or kissing or music to keep it from being awkward. This morning was different; they both laid there, completely content to spend the rest of the afternoon in each other's arms. This was all the proof the Latina needed to know that they were going to be ok, that things were going to work out.

* * *

><p>The silence was ripped apart by Brittany's cell phone going off. <em>Great, just what we need right now! <em>She thought to herself as she heard the ringtone going off from her purse. '_..She got me speeding in the fast lane, pedal to the floor yea, tryin' to get back to her love… Best believe she got that good thing, she my little hood thing, ask around they know us, they know that's my, bust it baby…' _She jumped from the warm bed in time to get the call before it went to voicemail. 'Hello?' She asked, even though she knew who it was. She chanced a glance back at the Latina, worried that she would be mad, but Santana had flipped over and was now lying with her back to Brittany; she could barely hold back her anguish as she tried to remember what Artie had just said.

' _Remember, we had plans to go there for dinner? Breadsticks? 7 O'clock? Remember Britt?' "_Of course I remember", she responded immediately. She instantly regretted how eager her voice had sounded; she wasn't excited because of Artie, she was excited because it was Breadsticks and he would pay. She wanted to go sit on the bed and rub the Latina's back and make her tense shoulders relax, but decided she had better get off the phone first. So instead, she turned to look at her naked body in the mirror and blushed at what she saw; there were small hickeys all over her chest and breasts from where the Latina's mouth had been roaming. Her lips were slightly swollen and her hair was a mess, her eyes looked like a raccoons' because of her makeup smearing as she slept. She had a 'well fucked' look about her and couldn't help the shiver that went through her when she thought about the previous night.

She chastised herself for not listening to Artie again, but instead of trying to catch up to the conversation, she told him she'd pick him up at 7 and they'd go to Breadsticks. He seemed happy enough with the response and told Britt he'd see her tonight. He said 'I love you B' and she responded, without thinking, "I love you too". When she hung up the phone, she knew the night no longer meant anything.

* * *

><p>'<em>I love you too' <em>she'd heard the blonde say as she got off the phone with her boyfriend. She felt a weight in her stomach and on her chest, almost as if those words had dropped a bomb onto her perfect Sunday afternoon.

She felt Brittany crawl back into the bed next to her, and when she grabbed the Latina's shoulder to turn her back over to face her, a shiver coursed through her body. It wasn't a shiver she had ever felt when Brittany touched her; it was a shiver of revulsion. "San, look at me." The blonde mumbled against her shoulder, planting kisses on the skin there. "I can't do this to him yet. I have to go to dinner with him and get my mind made up..."

"Get your mind made up? I thought last night proved where your mind was!" The Latina yelled as she jumped from the blonde's touch and went to her dresser to get some clothes on. She was pulling her t-shirt over her head and couldn't help but take in the sight of the blonde on her bed, reflected in the mirror. She was so beautiful. She was everything the Latina could ever want, everything. _Why can't I be that for her? _

"San, that's not what I meant," the blonde said as she looked at her hands, a nervous habit she picked up from the Latina, "I meant I have to figure out how to break up with him. It's going to break his heart and I can't take that lightly… I have to figure out how to do it." The blonde was clearly close to tears; she had a mixture of anxiety and heartache on her face as she looked up and stared directly at the Latina in the mirror. Santana turned around and spat out at her, "You better get going, don't want to keep _wheels_ waiting." She turned back to the mirror and saw the pain flutter across her best friends face as she slowly climbed off the bed to look for her clothes.

Santana noticed for the first time how much it was hurting Brittany to have this happening between them. She almost walked over to where the blonde was pulling her jeans on and begged her to stay. She almost grabbed her around the waist and pulled her close. She almost whispered 'I'm sorry' against her lips before kissing her. Almost; but not this time, this time she could only look out the window as the blonde walked past her, softly ghosting her finger tips across the Latina's arm, and leaving the house without another word.

* * *

><p><em>Fuck, where's my car? <em>Brittany couldn't even think about what had just happened. She just needed to get home, and after realizing she had left her car at Terrance's house, she started the two block walk of shame.

She was furious, no she was fucking pissed. She was so done with the Latina's games. _If Santana would just LISTEN to me she would understand how hard this is. Not because it's going to hurt me; I know I'm getting the best end of the deal, but because it's going to hurt Artie. She knows I hate hurting people, and Artie has been good to me. It's going to break his heart when I break up with him._

_No. I'm not leaving Artie. Santana uses him as an excuse to get mad at me, to push me away because she's too damn scared to face a bunch of stupid kids at school. She's a coward and I will not end things with him for a coward._

Brittany made it back to Terrance's, barefoot because she didn't want to take the time to put her heels on, and climbed into her car. She should know better than to turn on her Ipod, but she needed her escape of music, even if it just made her sad. She clicked randomly on a playlist and began the short drive back to her house. She couldn't help but think about everything she was losing as a song began, and for the third time in as many days, she was driving and crying…

_...I don't know where I'm at…  
>..I'm standing at the back…<br>..And I'm tired of waiting…  
>..Waiting here in line…<br>..Hoping that I'll find…  
>..What I've been chasing…<em>

_..I shot for the sky…_  
><em>..I'm stuck on the ground…<em>  
><em>..So why do I try?...<em>  
><em>..I know I'm gonna fall down…<em>  
><em>..I thought I could fly…<em>  
><em>..So why did I drown?...<em>  
><em>..I'll never know why…<em>  
><em>..It's coming down, down, down…<em>

'How could a night go from fucking perfect to complete crap in the short span of a phone call? How can that happen…'

_..Not ready to let go…  
>..'Cause then I'll never know…<br>..What I could be missing…  
>..But I'm missing way too much…<br>..When do I give up…  
>..What I've been wishing for?...<em>

_..I shot for the sky…  
>..I'm stuck on the ground…<br>..So why do I try?...  
>..I know I'm gonna fall down…<br>..I thought I could fly…  
>..So why did I drown?...<br>..I'll never know why…  
>..It's coming down, down, down…<em>

_..Oh I am going down, down, down…  
>..I can't find another way around…<br>...And I don't wanna hear the sound…  
><em>_**..Of losing what I never found….**__  
><em>

Brittany took a deep breath and made a promise to herself that she would put on a brave face for Artie. She couldn't look like this when she went to get him. She got home and got straight into the shower. She luckily had told her mom the night before that she was going to stay at Santana's (even though she was planning to stay at Artie's) and didn't have to explain herself. Marcia had assumed that things must be better between the two friends and didn't bother her daughter as she got ready for her date.

She was a few minutes early, but surprisingly Artie was ready to go; he was just as excited as she was about Breadsticks. The place only had mediocre food but their breadsticks were out of this world. Mostly she would just sit and drink a diet coke and eat breadsticks, but since Artie was paying, she knew she was going to gorge herself on pasta and dessert.

They made it through the first part of dinner with small talk about their weekend and the party, skipping over the part about Santana being wasted and storming out and Brittany chasing her. Brittany thought Artie was just going to ignore it, but he finally asked how the rest of her night went after she had followed her best friend home. She skimmed over the evening, just telling him the Latina drank too much and how he knows she's an emotional drunk and just needed a friend.

Artie listened with practice patience on his face, but really he wanted to lash out at the Blonde. He wasn't completely oblivious to her and Santana's "Friendship" and wanted to call her on it, but decided against it when he noticed how distracted she had seemed all night. He knew his girlfriend and her best friend had been having issues for awhile and he didn't want to add any more problems to her already full plate. So instead, he listened as she rambled on about dance and Glee and school in the morning and tried his best to ignore the sadness in those baby blues.

When the night came to a close, Brittany was grateful for the way Artie had acted all night. She wasn't oblivious to the tension rolling off of him at some points during the night, but he was a perfect gentleman, never asking too deep of questions and never letting the smile leave his face. She was thankful that she had someone to be with, but when he got out of her car and she drove away, she couldn't help but think of her lonely best friend. The sadness gripped her heart again as she headed to bed.

* * *

><p>Santana had decided she needed a run to help clear her head of the weekend and rid her body of all the remaining alcohol. She started with the intent of running just a couple of miles, but when she reached the outskirts of Lima, she decided to run the perimeter of town, sticking to the main roads and trying to avoid any traffic along the way. She was halfway around town when she actually started hearing the music from her Ipod. She had been so focused on getting back into her stride that she had missed the first few songs that played. She was happy when she found her familiar gate and almost smiled as she felt the muscles in her legs stretch as she lengthened it. She thought she had lost this after quitting Cheerios, but really she just needed a little push.<p>

With her breathing steady and her running shoes hitting the pavement, she began listening to the music from her 'Love SICK' playlist. She knew it probably wasn't the best playlist to be listening to while in her current state of mind, but, she had to admit, it was better to use her anger and upset energy for running than for crying. Her shoes made light thuds on the ground as the song began…

_.. Driving away from the wreck of the day…  
>..And the light's always red in the rear view…<br>..Desperately close to a coffin of hope…  
>..I'd cheat destiny just to be near you…<em>

_..And if this, is giving up…_  
><em>..Then I'm giving up…<em>  
><em>..If this, is giving up…<em>  
><em>..Then I'm giving up, giving up on love…<em>

_..Driving away from the wreck of the day…_  
><em>..And I'm thinking 'bout calling on Jesus…<em>  
><em>..'Cause love doesn't hurt so I know I'm not falling in love…<em>  
><em>..I'm just falling to pieces…<em>

_..If this, is giving up…_  
><em>..Then I'm giving up…<em>  
><em>..If this, is giving up…<em>  
><em>..Then I'm giving up, I'm giving up on love, on love…<em>

The Latina wasn't one for religion, but for the first time that she could ever recall, she said a prayer…

_..And maybe I'm not up…  
>..For being a victim of love…<br>..Oh all my resistance…  
>..Will never be distance enough….<em>

_..Driving away from the wreck of the day…_  
><em>..And it's finally quiet in my head…<em>  
><em>..Driving alone, I'm finally on my way home…<em>  
><em>..To the comfort of my bed…<em>

_..And if this, is giving up…_  
><em>..Then I'm giving up…<em>  
><em>..If this is, giving up…<em>  
><em>..Then I'm giving up, I'm giving up on love, on love…<em>

'If there really is someone up there, anyone, I need you right now. I need some sort of strength to get me through this because I'm spent. I'm maxed out and I have nothing left... So please, please help me. Please, let me be strong enough to let her go… I can't do this to myself anymore… I can't do it to either of us anymore…'

She sped up as the 'amen' left her lips; she was running full force now, ignoring the stitch in her side or her shortness of breath. She couldn't help but wonder, as she rounded another curve, if she was still just running to clear her mind of the blonde or if she was running away from her instead…

* * *

><p><strong>Monday <strong>

The Latina was all about missing school; she wanted to stay in bed all day and not have to deal with Glee club or class or people in general. But when her father, in a very parental sort of way, told her to "get her ass out of bed" she could do nothing but obey him. She got to school late and had to run to class without stopping by her locker. She figured one class without her books was ok, plus she was grateful to not have to see Brittany. She didn't think she could handle any more of that situation right now.

The day passed without much incident. She dodged her locker the whole day, copying off of Sam in some classes and just ignoring the teacher all together in others. She was pretty proud of herself for not thinking about the blonde all day until she walked into Glee and saw her in a ridiculous red hat sitting in the front row by Artie. She had to bite back a very nasty remark as she sat herself down on Sam's left; the furthest from the blue eyed girl as possible.

She was proud of herself for having the chance to take a dig at Rachel and making the best of it. Even though everyone (including Brittany) agreed to vote Rachel out, she didn't get her wish. But she did get a chance to sneak a couple of covert glances at Brittany, which weren't really covert because Brittany saw her every time. _Why is she staring at me? _The brunette asked herself, but when she realized she had been staring too, she decided that ignoring the blonde was her best bet.

_Damn, I didn't think she'd be able to go this long without talking to me. _The blonde thought as she listened to Quinn babble on about how Rachel was awesome, or something, she wasn't really listening. _Aha! She just looked at me again! Knew she didn't mean it!_ Brittany couldn't help but look at her best friend every couple of seconds, it's like her eyes were drawn to the brown eyes and there was no way to ignore it. Every time Santana would see her staring, the blonde's face would heat up and she'd look away. She didn't understand why this had to be so hard. They were best friends before all of this, why did that have to change? They both loved each other, that was obvious, so why did the Latina act like she didn't even want to be in the same room as Brittany?

The blonde had to stop thinking about her and focus. She had dance class that night and so much homework from her neglecting it over the weekend. She decided that ignoring the brunette was all she could do until she could figure out what the next best move was. She was grateful when they bell rang and they could leave, but she couldn't stop herself from throwing one quick glance over her shoulder to look at her best friend before leaving the room.

* * *

><p><strong>Tuesday<strong>

The day past much the same as the day before. Santana reluctantly got out of bed and headed to school, barely making it on time, which was once again her excuse for avoiding her locker and the blonde that could be nearby. They didn't have Glee today so she knew that she could leave early and no one would be the wiser. The prospect of getting out of school and going for a run had the brunette in a much better mood. Sam was still following her around like a little puppy dog, but that was ok, she needed the support and camouflage that he provided to get her through her day to day motions.

Brittany was doing much the same, going to class and riding on Artie's lap in the hallways. She wasn't sure if Santana was intentionally hiding from her or just plain forgot where her locker was, but the blonde stuck around it between every period, hoping to catch a glimpse of her friend. Not once did the Latina come to their lockers, and by the last period, Brittany felt a lump rise in her throat when she knew that things were far worse than she first thought.

Santana and Brittany had never gone more than a few hours without talking to each other. Over the last few weeks, that trend had changed, and the blonde could accept that, but this was too much. Never had they gone over 24 hours without speaking to one another and this was day two without her best friends' pinky locked around hers or the Latina's voice whispering in her ear. She couldn't take it anymore; tomorrow, come what may, she was going to talk to Santana.

* * *

><p><strong>Wednesday<strong>

Today was the day. If Santana didn't show up to their lockers by 3rd period, Brittany was going to hide in the class across from them until she walked by. She had to talk to her, even if it made things worse, she had to talk to her. She needed to hear her voice, she needed to see the brown eyes that had been haunting her dreams and waking hours, she just needed her.

Santana needed to go to her locker today because her teachers were getting tired of her not having anything but a pen when she came to class. She brought her big backpack so she could put everything she was going to need for the day in it and she wouldn't have to come back to her locker, well ever, if she didn't feel like it. She knew it was petty, but she also knew that if she was going to get over the blonde she needed to keep her distance.

She very quickly walked to her locker, head down, trying to glance around to see if Brittany was anywhere near. She already had her hand on her lock when she heard the soft 'hey' from behind her. _Sneaky little bitch. _Santana thought as she looked over to see Brittany looking at her with her puppy dog eyes. She gave the blonde a quick once over and went back to her locker. 'Can I ask you a question?' The blonde sounded like she was unsure of herself, _Good_ the Latina thought as she desperately tried to remember her locker combination. 'We used to be really close and I really miss being your friend.' _Ouch, wasn't expecting her to play the friend card. _

* * *

><p>Brittany was staring at Santana, trying hard to keep her emotions in check when the Latina refused to meet her gaze. 'Still waiting for the question.' <em>UGH! WHY does she have to put this wall up, she knows I can see right through it, she doesn't have to play these games. Fine, I'll play along… <em>'Did I do something wrong?' _Stupid question Britt, you know she's blaming you for this. She's pissed. _'You know, look, I don't know, did you? All I know is that you blew me off, for stubbles McCripple Pants.' _She's trying to look tough, but look at her eyes Britt, you know she's in pain._ 'But it's fine, it's your loss, 'cause now I get the chance to write an awesome _heterosexual _song about Sam, that we're gonna sing at Regionals.' _I freaking knew she wasn't going to break up with him!_

But Brittany's words didn't come out right, all she could think about was that the Latina was still with Sam; still hiding from what she wanted, hiding from what was standing right in front of her. 'Wait, your still dating Sam?' _Wow, my voice just made it sound like she was stupid. Wrong Brittany, bad move. _She saw the way the Latina's eyes couldn't help but look at her, so she tried to keep her head and keep talking, 'but you told me you were in love with me.'

'I honestly don't know what I was thinking.' Santana said the words and wanted to choke them back down her throat. _Why would I say that? She's not stupid, she knows how you feel. Damn it. What's my fucking combination. '_But can you stop staring at me? I can't remember my locker combo.' _Those damn eyes, they're gonna be the death of me, I know it. _Santana could feel those blue eyes staring at her, but she couldn't bring herself to look at Brittany again. Her resistance was crumbling and she wanted to throw herself into the blonde's arms and tell her she didn't mean that and that she did love her, but when Sue Sylvester's voice rang out behind her, she knew her chance had passed.

'Well well, if it isn't tweedle-dumb and tweedle fake boobs'. _SCREW THIS. This bitch is about to get it! _Santana turned around at the same time as Brittany, but the blonde beat her to the punch. 'You know, you can't talk to us like that. You're not our cheer coach anymore.' Santana didn't hear anything else their old coach had said, she was looking at Brittany and couldn't shake the wonder from her mind as her best friend stood up to the most terrifying person Santana had ever known. _Damn Britt, feelin' frogy today aren't we?_

Both girls turned around, Santana finally remembering her combination, and opened their lockers. They weren't expecting the mountains of dirt that cascaded down on them and all they could do was choke and sputter as the dirt went into their mouths and all over their clothes. Santana couldn't hide the dumbfounded look on her face when she heard B say, 'I don't even remember putting that in there!'. Santana wanted to laugh, because the blonde obviously was trying to make her smile, but instead she bit her lip and slammed her locker shut. _Books are gonna be worthless now that they're covered in dirt, guess I'll be skipping this class to go clean up. _

Santana could feel Brittany walking quickly beside her as she made her way to the nearest bathroom. She could feel the blonde's hand directly next to hers and when Brittany reached for her pinky, Santana forced herself to pull away. She glanced sideways and saw the pout form on Brittany's face, but she couldn't act like a ping pong ball, just going back and forth with the blonde. It was an emotional rollercoaster already and locking pinkies would only make things worse.

They walked into the Cheerios locker room where they both still had some clothes stashed just in case their fall from power ended up landing them a slushie facial. They grabbed their clothes and headed to the showers to get the dirt out of their hair and off their faces. Usually they would have grabbed this opportunity and showered together, but when Santana walked into one of the shower stalls and shut the curtain, Brittany got the message. She wasn't welcome.

* * *

><p>She wasn't sure why it hurt so bad, but having Santana blatantly pull her pinky away in the hall and now refusing to let the blonde near her, well, she wasn't used to it. She wasn't sure what this all meant, but she knew it was bad. She knew something had changed, something had happened after Brittany left on Sunday that caused her friend to be like this. Never before did they refuse each other. They might be fighting, but she never expected to be dismissed so quickly.<p>

Brittany heard the water turn on next to her and couldn't stop herself from grabbing the curtain and ripping it open. 'What the hell Brittany!' She stared at Santana, who was already half naked, and asked the question she was terrified of hearing the answer to. 'Are we not friends anymore? Because I have to know, I have to know if I need to be fighting for you or letting you go. 'She took a shaky breath before continuing, 'I just, I need to know San...' She didn't realize she was sobbing until she slid down the shower wall and was sitting on the floor.

Santana didn't move, didn't know what to say, so she just stood there, staring at the beautiful blonde at her feet, trying to decide how to answer. But before she could answer, Brittany snapped back to life and looked up at her and said, 'its ok, I'm sorry, I shouldn't have followed you… I'll leave, but you have to tell me San, have I lost you?' Santana felt the lump in her throat and the tears began to run down her face. She knelt down next to the blonde, wrapping her arms around her and could only whisper in her ear, 'You'll never lose me B, but I need to be away from you for a little while. I can't be around you without wanting you, so I have to let you go…' The Latina could feel Brittany shaking her head and she pulled away to see a blue fire in the depths of the blondes' eyes; it actually scared her a bit to see Brittany with such a ferocious look on her face.

Brittany abruptly stood up and turned to walk out of the stall, but before she did, she rounded on Santana. 'Fine. I can stay away from you if that's what you want. But do NOT come crawling back to me when you realize how stupid you are being!' Brittany didn't want things to end like this, but she couldn't stop the pain and anger that was coursing through her body. It was making her lash out, but she couldn't bite back the words that were now erupting from her throat. 'You're a scared little girl Santana Lopez. A child who can't accept who she is and what she wants. I'm done waiting for you to figure it out. I'm done!' And with that, the blonde stormed from the locker room, leaving an infuriated and crushed Latina in her wake.

Brittany didn't even look at Artie as she passed him in the hallway. She didn't look at anyone as she burst through the doors of McKinley and ran to her car. She couldn't help but realize how often she was doing this lately. She started to cry before she even got her seatbelt on but abruptly wiped the tears away, swearing to herself that she would cry no more tears for the fiery brunette who's friendship she had just thrown away. _No. I'm done with her. I do not need her. I have my happy ending and I will not let her do this to me anymore._ She continued to wipe away the tears that were still escaping her eyes and reached for her Ipod. _Ipod, please don't let me down, give me something to keep my head above water. _She pressed play, and as the song started, she couldn't help but think sarcastically, _or something that pulls me under… _

_...You fingertips against my skin…  
>..The palm trees swaying in the wind…<br>..Images…  
>..<em>You sang me Spanish lullabies_…  
>..The sweetest sadness in your eyes….<br>..Clever trick…_

_..I never want to see you unhappy…_  
><em>..I thought you'd want the same for me…<em>

_..Goodbye, my almost lover…_  
><em>..Goodbye, my hopeless dream…<em>  
><em>..I'm trying not to think about you…<em>  
><em>..Can't you just let me be?...<em>  
><em>..So long, my luckless romance…<em>  
><em>..My back is turned on you…<em>  
><em>..I should've known you'd bring me heartache…<em>  
><em>..Almost lovers always do…<em>

She tried to put her car in reverse to pull out of the lot, but the pressure on her chest was too much…

_..We walked along a crowded street…  
>..You took my hand and danced with me…<br>..And when you left you kissed my lips…  
>..You told me you'd never ever forget these images, no…<em>

..I never want to see you unhappy…  
><em>..I thought you'd want the same for me…<em>

_..Goodbye, my almost lover…_  
><em>..Goodbye, my hopeless dream…<em>  
><em>..I'm trying not to think about you…<em>  
><em>..Can't you just let me be?...<em>  
><em>..So long, my luckless romance…<em>  
><em>..My back is turned on you…<em>  
><em>..I should've known you'd bring me heartache…<em>  
><em>..Almost lovers always do…<em>

She finally got the car in reverse and moved slowly from her parking spot, worried the tears would keep her from seeing where she was going…

_..I cannot go to the ocean…  
>..I cannot drive the streets at night...<em>  
><em>..I cannot wake up in the morning…<em>  
><em>..Without you on my mind…<em>  
><em>..So you're gone and I'm haunted…<em>  
><em>..And I bet you are just fine…<em>  
><em>..Did I make it that easy for you….<em>  
><em>..To walk right in and out of my life?...<em>

_..Goodbye, my almost lover…_  
><em>..Goodbye, my hopeless dream…<em>  
><em>..I'm trying not to think about you…<em>  
><em>..Can't you just let me be?...<em>  
><em>..So long, my luckless romance…<em>  
><em>..My back is turned on you…<em>  
><em>..I should've known you'd bring me heartache…<em>  
><em>..Almost lovers always do…<em>

She straightened her car out and began making her way from the parking lot and not caring that she was skipping the rest of her day, she knew she could make up some excuse about the dirt that was still covering her outfit. Once she felt like she was driving a straight line, she glanced in her rearview. There, standing in the middle of the road, tears running down her tan face, was Santana. She wanted to stop, she wanted to grab the Latina and shake her and wake her up from the stubborn place she had been for the last few days. But she couldn't, she couldn't keep doing this. Thinking about everything that had transpired between them, it only took her half a second to hit the gas harder and fly away from the school and away from the one thing that ever made her feel complete.

Santana could see the blue eyes in the rearview; she knew Brittany saw her standing there, but she drove away. She collapsed in the road, no words escaping her throat as she cried harder than she ever had in her life. She looked up, hoping her best friend would hit the brakes, but when she didn't and the blondes car was no longer in sight, she could only cry and murmur the words, 'Brittany I'm sorry, Brittany, I love you…'

* * *

><p><strong>The first song in Britt's car was 'Down' by Jason Walker. The second when Santana was running was 'Wreck of the Day' by Anna Nalick. The last one, of course, was 'Almost Lover' by A Fine Frenzy. <strong>

**Seriously guys, this story is crazy for me right now. They are making me an emotional train wreck when I write! It's pathetic (and slightly crazy), but I seriously have these conversations in my head with them to figure out where this should go, and all they do is cry and mope around! Lol I'm not going to write anymore till after the next episode, hopefully something will change soon for my two faves! **

**But, you never know, 'Get it Right' might be a chapter all in itself ;)**

**Until then, I love the reviews, my readers are amazing, and I hope you enjoyed the chapter! **


	5. Chapter 5, Get it Right Part 1

**A/N, hello again! So, I just couldn't do another chapter until after Tuesday because since I'm sticking to real (glee) life, I have to go by the script. I had to see where the girls were going this week, so I finally got my ideas after seeing how they interacted with each other in a Night of Neglect. Kinda pissed me off cause they totally neglected them all together, but that's ok, gave me some ideas! Anywho, here it is! Oh, and this chapter is only going to be like Wed afternoon to Friday before Regional's… I'll have another chapter coming VERY soon! Enjoy! **

**Also, this is kind of a filler, sorry. But I'm giving you some random flashback insight on some stuff, so it makes for cute reading! Also, it's so long.. Sorry about that! **

**Chapter is called 'Get it Right' and honestly, if you don't know the song, you shouldn't be reading my fan fic ;). Kidding, but seriously, you should know it…**

* * *

><p><strong>Chapter 5, Part 1<br>Get it Right, Part 1**

**Wednesday Afternoon **

Santana was sitting in the middle of the parking lot when she looked down and noticed she was still in just jeans and her bra after getting covered in dirt from Sue Sylvester's prank. She got up quickly, thankful that everyone was still in class, and sprinted back into the Cheerios locker room. She barely made it back to the shower stall before the scene from a few minutes ago slapped her across the face.

She didn't even bother taking off her clothes as she climbed into the shower and sat on the floor. She let her tears mix with the water as the tremors in her body began to overtake her. She didn't want to be this weak person, this person who cried _all the time_, but she couldn't make them stop. She couldn't stop thinking about the look in Brittany's eyes when she glanced in her rearview; almost like the blonde meant what she said about not wanting her anymore and that she was done. _'You're __a scared little girl Santana Lopez. A child who can't accept who she is and what she wants. I'm done waiting for you to figure it out. I'm done!' _

Santana knew she wanted to leave, but her parents would be pissed if she skipped another day of school, so instead, she stood up, stripped down, took a shower, and walked back out into the hallway like she owned the place. She decided to skip her next class to clean up her locker. She knew her books were probably ruined, but she didn't want to have to come back to these damn lockers. They were like a haunted spot in McKinley that the brunette preferred to never be near again.

She made her way to her locker, looking over and noticing that Britt's was still half open. She ignored it, slowly opening the door and another mountain of dirt fell to the floor. _I should have waited to shower after I did this_, she thought as she reached in with her dirty t-shirt wrapped around her hand and began to extract her books. She was actually surprised to see that only the top of her books were ruined, and she could salvage all of them. This made her mood only slightly better as once again, her eyes were drawn to Brittany's locker. _You're insane…_

She opened the blonde's locker carefully, trying to keep from being covered in more dirt. She felt a surge of warmth go through her chest when she saw the picture of her and Brittany hanging in the blonde's locker. It was from a day they went for a long drive around town. They were stopped at a red light and Santana could remember looking over to see Brittany with her feet hanging out the window, bouncing them to the beat of the song on the radio. She looked so gorgeous with her hair down and curly from letting it air dry, sunglasses on, and wearing a tank top and jean shorts. San had grabbed the blonde around the neck, pulled her in for a quick kiss, and then leaned their heads together for a picture. She remembered someone honking at them because the light was green and how Brittany squealed with laughter as Santana yelled out the window for the person to _'Chill the fuck out!' _and throwing him the finger. It was a good day, just a day for them to be them and not have to worry about anything or anyone else…

She continued to look at the rest of the pictures in the blonde's locker. One picture was of B and her cat, which she loved, and then one was of Artie and Brittany smiling at the camera, the blonde sitting on his lap. She couldn't help but notice the smile on B's face in the photographs; both alike but also both very different. In the picture with Artie, the blonde's smile was genuine, but her blue eyes weren't shining like in the one with Santana. The Latina felt a little smug as she noticed the difference, and it made her feel good knowing that she had once held a very special place in the blondes heart. She couldn't help but take the picture of herself and Brittany out of the locker and place it in her own. She wanted a piece of the blonde with her, even if Brittany didn't want any of her.

Only because she knew the blonde would probably forget about the dirt did Santana clean out her locker. _I'm not being nice, I just feel bad for the next poor schmuck who gets these damn books…_ she mumbled to herself as she cleaned out B's locker. After she was done, she grabbed the photo she took, shoved it in her pocket, and walked to 6th period.

* * *

><p>Brittany was pretty much forced to go back to school that day. She walked into her house, hoping that no one would be home, but she wasn't that lucky. Her mom watched her walk in, covered in dirt, and followed her silently up the stairs. Brittany knew her mom well enough to know that she wasn't going to let her stay home, regardless of the situation. So instead of even trying to fight her about it, the younger blonde started to get stuff together for a quick shower before heading back to the Hell Hole known as McKinley High School.<p>

As Brittany tried to make a B-Line for her bathroom, her mom grabbed her elbow and spun her around. The look on Brittany's face was enough to break Marcia's heart, and before she knew it, her daughter was sagging into her arms, falling to pieces right there in the middle of her bedroom. Marcia sometimes forgot that Brittany was now a young woman, but in times like this, with her daughter sitting in her lap on the floor, crying into her neck, she can remember the little girl she used to be…

0o0o0o0o0o

'Brittany! Please don't lean so far over the edge of the dock!' _Marcia yelled from further back, having to chase Brittany down after the young girl jumped from the car and sprinted through the park toward the pond. _'I know you love the ducks, but I promise, if you give them some bread, they'll come to you!'

'Momma! Look at the little ones!' _Brittany yelled over her shoulder, still standing at the very edge of dock trying to get a closer look._ 'Here ducky ducky ducky!' _she cooed as she threw some bread in the water. Marcia had finally caught up to her daughter and put a steadying hand on the blonde's shoulder. The last time they were here, Brittany had leaned too far over the edge and ended up swimming with the duck's instead of just feeding them. _

_The older blonde affectionately watched her daughter feed the ducks until the entire loaf of bread was gone. After, they both sat on the edge of the dock, feet in the water, just talking about anything the 8 year old felt like talking about. She mentions her new best friend at school, Quinn, who is nice to her and helps her with her spelling. She talks about the boys that are 'yucky', like Noah and Finn, and she talks about the new girl with the dark eyes and tan skin who hasn't talked to anyone since she moved there._

_Marcia could see the little line forming over her daughter's eyebrows, the line she gets when she's deep in thought about something, but she didn't pry. She knew that if something was bothering her bubbly little girl, Britt would say something, and she did, no more than a minute later. _

'You know, the new girl, I think she is lonely.' _The blonde girl states very matter-of-factly. _'Maybe that's why she doesn't talk to anyone…´_Marcia loved this about her daughter. She saw things in a much simpler way than most, but it also made her more perceptive to how the people around her were feeling. She knew that it would be a defining trait of Brittany's, something that would make her a great friend and an even greater person…_

_0o0o0o0o0o _

"Baby, what's wrong?" Marcia asked as she rubbed Brittany's arm and ran a hand through her hair. Brittany's sobs had turned to sniffles and she looked at her mom with red rimmed eyes, afraid to say the words but knowing she needed to talk about it.

"Santana told me she loved me." Brittany took a quick breath, not sure how her mother would react. She felt her mom shift under her, trying to get a better look at her daughters face, and when similar blue eyes met, she was forced to continue.

"Like, loves me mom. Not like, best friend love, but in love type of love. And please before you say anything I have to tell you that I love her too and that I've loved her since the day she grabbed my hand and told me we were best friends. And I know this is a lot to drop on you right now but I had to tell someone because I'm about to explode with all of this anger, and guilt, and love, and loss, and everything else that's building up inside of me. It feels like my chest is going to explode…"

She's sobbing again by the time she finishes. She was so afraid of what her mom would think, of what she would do once Brittany told her her secret. Yea, Ms. Holiday knew, but this was different, this was much closer to home.

Marcia wasn't upset because she knew this was coming, she knew it three years ago when she heard the two girls in Brittany's room one night talking about kissing boys but deciding that they liked kissing each other more. She remembered she was upset then, wanting to stop the girls' conversation, but when she knocked on the door and let herself in, she had to stop herself. The happiness that shone in both blue and brown eyes was enough to make her understand that there was more than meets the eye with the Santana and Brittany Friendship.

Marcia had cried herself to sleep that night, wondering what she had done wrong in raising Brittany. She wasn't homophobic, but thoughts of Brittany marrying a handsome blonde haired blue eyed man, having fair haired grandchildren running through her house, the sounds of laughter filling the halls, had her trapped in a small moment of misery.

The next morning, she watched her daughter and her friend more closely and noticed other things she hadn't noticed or paid attention to before. They did these small touches when they were watching a movie and thinking no one was watching. And they'd have these conversations with each other without speaking, like they were mind readers or something.

But, of all the things she noticed, it was the way they locked pinkies with one another that was the most significant. It was less than a hand hold, but it seemed like they had a thousand secrets passing between them when they linked up. Like they were the only two people in the room as they laughed at and with each other. As if they were in their own little world, a world no one was allowed to enter and even if someone did, they'd never understand it…

"Mom, did you hear me? I said I love Santana…" Brittany couldn't tell if her mom was in shock or if she even heard what she had said, so she waited until her mom came back to the moment and just shook her head.

"Yea, I heard you baby, and it's ok, I know, I've known for awhile now how much you two love each other." Marcia couldn't keep the small smile off her face when she saw how off guard she had caught her daughter. She decided to continue, "And, I'm glad you finally told me. I don't like us having secrets from one another." Brittany couldn't help but smile up at her mom, so grateful to have something steady in her life when everything else was a chaotic mess.

"I'm guessing that this is one of the reasons you are not in school right now, besides the fact that you are covered in dirt." Marcia asked as soon as she thought Brittany would be capable of answering her questions.

The blonde girl could only answer with a small "yea" as she started to get up off the floor. Her mom gripped her wrists and pulled her back down with a 'tell me what's going on' look on her face. B decided since she was confessing stuff, she might as well tell her everything. So Brittany went through the whole story, skipping over the embarrassing parts and mostly focusing on them singing together, the confession, the hurt, the date with Artie, more hurt, the dirt, and the parking lot.

Marcia took in the whole story without saying anything, just letting her girl get it all off her chest. After she heard about what happened at school that afternoon, she could only sympathize with her daughter on wanting to stay home and never go back. She knew her daughter was looking for advice, but she could only offer her a small amount, knowing that this was something Brittany was going to have to figure out, mostly, by herself.

"Brittany, you and Santana are pieces to the most confusing and convoluted puzzle in the history of puzzles. You both are stubborn and passionate, which will not make this a quick fix." She grabbed Brittany's chin to look her daughter in the eye, "But, I also know that your relationship is easy; it's as easy as the sun rising in the east and setting in the west, it's as easy as breathing. It always has been, since the day she grabbed your hand and said you were best friends" She sighed as she took in her daughters' broken expression. "You've both fallen into a hole and right now, you're both making it deeper by continuing to hurt one another. I know you don't want to hear this, but Brittany, you might have to let her go."

Seeing the concern and fear in her daughters eyes, she continued, "That's not what I mean," she pressed, "What I mean is that, for now, it might be better for the two of you to stay out of each other's way. Santana finally opening up to you has probably made her extremely vulnerable and she probably feels as overwhelmed as you. She has a lot to sort through and it might be a good idea to let her do just that. Let her figure herself out, and when she's ready, she will tell you. She will be over the moon to tell you that she finally knows what she wants, and when she does, you will know what to do."

"But what if I don't mom?" The blonde asks, her voice full of concern. "What if I don't know who I want, it's going to hurt two people that I love very much, regardless of what I choose. It's going to hurt me too."

Marcia could only stare at her daughter as she confessed her fears, hoping that her advice will be enough. She leaned in and pressed a kiss to her daughter's forehead, and as they stood up, she was pulled into a bone crushing hug. She pressed another kiss to her daughters temple and whispered to her, "They always say that if you have a difficult decision to make you should flip a coin, because once that coin is in the air, you will know what you want because you will be praying it lands that side up…"

* * *

><p>Santana walked into class and saw Asian 1 sitting a row in front of her and decided she needed to follow through on her Heterosexual song threat. "Hey Tina, wanna help me write a song for Sam?" She whispered to the girl, who actually looked shocked for being addressed, in public, by the Latina. She hadn't ever had a real stutter, but she couldn't stop it when she replied with a "S-s-s-s-ure". Both the girls spent the entire period writing a song for the blonde boy. Tina couldn't understand how this was going to make Sam feel anything but self-conscience, but she didn't want to question the testy brunette in front of her. So instead, she continued to help her write, each verse getting more ridiculous as the song went on.<p>

The Latina was writing this song with only one thing in mind: to piss off Brittany. She needed to make her jealous and see that Santana was not available to her anymore. She knew Brittany said she was done, but she also knows the blonde better than she knows anyone else. Brittany can't be without her, it's just the way it was, _and vice versa_ the Latina grudgingly admits to herself. Santana knew it was wrong to use Sam's lips as inspiration for a song, but she couldn't think of anything else to write about, because honestly, she didn't know anything else about him.

She got to Glee club and couldn't help but notice that Brittany was there, cleaned up, and looking like a snow bunny or something with the hat she had on. She pulled her eyes from the blonde and sat in the loose circle that was formed at the front of the room; once again trying to be furthest from the blonde as possible. Brittany, for once, didn't look over with a pout or anything, she just sat there, eyes forward, almost like she was reciting in her head, "Don't look at her. Don't look at her."

* * *

><p><em>Don't look at her. Don't look at her. <em>Brittany was screaming the words in her head when she saw the Latina walk into Glee. She noticed that Santana was cleaned up, obviously deciding, just like Brittany did, that with Regional's in only a few days, everyone needed to be there. She was sad that it had come down to this, to them ignoring each other, but she was trying to take her mom's advice and just give the Latina some space.

After Mr. Schue handed her a book, she couldn't help but glance up when she heard Santana's voice.

"Uh, Mr. Schue, Tina and I have been already working on song that I wrote." the Latina said and Brittany tensed up, and she caught herself hoping that this song was for her. Her hopes were dashed when she heard the Latina say Sam's name and she didn't hear the rest of the song. The only thing she remembers is watching Santana take off her jacket slowly, her hair flowing down her back, and having to swallow hard before looking away. She knew it must have been a bad song because she heard Sam yell something at the Latina. It took everything she had in her to stop herself from standing up and punching him in his fat freaking lip for yelling at San, but she knew it wasn't her place to do things like that. So she just sat there, eyes wide as she watched the Latina out of the corner of her eye go and sit back down in her seat.

She couldn't help but think about all the times Santana had ever sung in front of everyone; it just wasn't something she did. She would harmonize along with other people; maybe sing a small riff or something, but never anything too major. The one time she did was at Sectionals, which was amazing, but usually the Latina reserved herself from singing in front of Glee. This made Brittany squirm knowing that she had gotten over her fear and was obviously singing a song to her boyfriend.

As Puck began playing his song, a memory from last summer came to mind, and Brittany let out a whoosh of air when she thought about the song the Latina had once sang her…

0o0o0o0o

_It was over the summer before their junior year, both girls were fast asleep in Santana's bed, relishing in the fact that they had the house to themselves while Mr. and Mrs. Lopez were gone for the weekend. The girls lived for these nights where they could just relax and not have to worry about a parent walking in on them doing something that friends just didn't do._

_Brittany doesn't know what happened before, she just knows she woke up crying, Santana rubbing her hand up and down the Blonde's arm, telling her 'its ok babe, you're ok… I'm here, it was just a dream… I'm right here, shhh.." The blonde remembered the dream, but didn't understand how her cheeks were wet or why she was shaking. It had felt so real, so when she woke up to Santana, she couldn't help but cry harder with relief after realizing it wasn't. _

_Santana let her cry it out, knowing that Britt would talk about the dream if she wanted to. It actually terrified the brunette when Brittany had these types of night mares. They made the blonde so scared and she actually wished she could slide into Brittany's dreams and chase everything away. Granted, she could never tell her best friend this, but she wanted to…_

"_Do you want to talk about it?" Santana had said quietly, her voice seeming like part of the darkness. She felt Brittany cuddle closer to her, breathing in the Latina's scent and feeling her lips graze her neck. Santana shuddered at the contact and had to control her hands that were moving on the blonde's body._

"_It was just a bad dream…" The blonde stopped there and Santana knew it was probably the same one the blonde had from time to time. After a minute, Brittany continued, "I was alone and I couldn't find you anywhere. It was like you left me and I couldn't feel you with me anymore. I always know that you're with me San, I can feel it all the way to my soul… and this dream, it just rips that feeling away from me and it terrifies me…" _

_Santana could only let out a sigh and kiss the top of the blonde's head, hoping to comfort her with her touch. Brittany wiggled, laying her head onto the Latina's stomach and just listening to her heart beat. A few minutes later, she asked in a quiet voice, "San, will you sing me back to sleep?" _

_Santana's eyes flew back open and looked down to see nothing but blonde hair, but before she could answer, Brittany kept talking. "It's just us, no one will be able to hear you… please, I don't think I can sleep right now…" She trailed off, waiting for the Latina's answer. Instead of giving an explanation as to why she was so scared to sing in front of Brittany, she gave in and sang a song that meant more than either of them could ever know… _

_..And I'd give up forever to touch you…  
>..'Cause I know that you feel me somehow…<br>..You're the closest to heaven that I'll ever be…  
>..And I don't want to go home right now…<em>

_..And all I can taste is this moment…_  
><em>..And all I can breathe is your life…<em>  
><em>..And sooner or later it's over…<em>  
><em>..I just don't want to miss you tonight…<em>

_..And I don't want the world to see me…_  
><em>..'Cause I don't think that they'd understand…<em>  
><em>..When everything's made to be broken…<em>  
><em>..I just want you to know who I am…<em>

_The Latina had paused after the chorus, and when she heard a small snore from Brittany, she couldn't help the smile that formed on her face. She brought her hands to the blonde hair and gently ran her hands through it, continuing the song… _

_..And you can't fight the tears that ain't coming…  
>..Or the moment of truth in your lies…<br>..When everything feels like the movies…  
>..Yeah you bleed just to know you're alive…<em>

_..And I don't want the world to see me…_  
><em>..'Cause I don't think that they'd understand…<em>  
><em>..When everything's made to be broken…<em>  
><em>..I just want you to know who I am…<em>

_..And I don't want the world to see me…_  
><em>..'Cause I don't think that they'd understand…<em>  
><em>..When everything's made to be broken…<em>  
><em>..I just want you to know who I am…<em>

_The Latina finished the song, letting the last note linger in the air. She pulled her hands from Britt's hair and closed her eyes. She could feel the weight of her best friend still on her stomach and with a content smile, she fell asleep within seconds._

_After hearing and feeling Santana's breathing change, the blonde pulled herself up to the brunette's ear. Santana had thought she'd fallen asleep, but she heard the song all the way through. She looked down at her sleeping best friend who still had a small smile on her lips even in sleep, and Brittany couldn't stop herself from pressing a small kiss to her lips. She slid down to the brunette's shoulder and lay there, waiting for sleep to overtake her. At the last possible moment, right before she went under, she couldn't help but whisper, 'I love you San' in the Latina's ear. _

_0o0o0o0o0o0o_

When Brittany came back to the present, she was clapping along with Puck's song, not really sure what was going on, but just going with it. She couldn't help herself and she leaned forward and looked at Santana down the row. She had her arms crossed over her chest, _either pissed off or just trying to hold herself together_ Britt thought to herself. _Please just look over here, let me see your eyes, I'll know which one it is if I could just see… _

* * *

><p>Santana was freaking pissed by the time she left Glee. Her song did not go over well, Brittany didn't look at her one time, and she couldn't bring herself to try to talk to the blonde afterwards. She left the class so fast; she didn't give anyone a chance to talk to her regardless. She knew she should be focusing on Regional's this weekend, but her mind was anywhere but there. School had gotten out almost an hour ago, but she was walking through the halls of her high school, not really sure what she was doing, but knowing that she wasn't ready to head home yet.<p>

She didn't really have a general direction she was heading, and when she rounded the corner, she realized her lapse of focus and almost ran into Brittany who was standing at her locker, looking at it with moist eyes. Santana's shoes made a noise when she stopped short, and Brittany looked up to see who it was. When she saw Santana, her eyes got all blury and she couldn't help but break the stare and look back at her locker, her clean locker; which was missing a very important picture from its door.

She felt Santana behind her, could smell her smell, which was so distinctly Santana, and slowly turned around. Santana was leaning in and Brittany thought she was going to kiss her, but instead, the Latina's face went past her ear, her hand stretched toward the locker door. When the Latina pulled back, the picture was now re-hung on the door, and with that, the Latina turned and walked away.

* * *

><p><strong>Thursday<strong>

Thursday passed about the same as the first part of the week. Sneaky glances from both girls, neither one seeing the other, and both wishing they'd get caught. Brittany was trying to focus on Regional's because Glee was important to her. She couldn't think about yesterday and how everything had unfolded. She couldn't think about the locker incident, and not the one with the dirt, but the one when the dirt was already cleaned up.

She didn't want to think about still needing to write a song for Glee because she couldn't figure out her rhyming dictionary. She had tried to write one the night before for Artie, but she couldn't. She started thinking about when Artie had sang P.Y.T. to her over Valentine's Day and how good it made her feel. She liked that someone was willing to totally profess their love (or lust) for her in song. She started to think about other songs that had been sung and how pretty much everyone had sang or danced for or with their significant other, everyone except Santana.

Granted, they sang 'Landslide' together, but it was different because Ms. Holiday was still there as a buffer. The more the blonde let her thoughts trail to this subject, the more she realized how no one, not a soul, had ever sang a song for her best friend. She started to think about Santana, about her eyes, her lips, her smile, and her laugh… Brittany loved the sound of Santana's laugh. _It could bring a smile to a homeless person's face_ she thought. She sat down and tried to write a song for the Latina, something that would make her smile or laugh or anything else good, but when Brittany stared down at the paper, the only words scratched on it a thousand times were a simple quote, 'I love you'.

* * *

><p>The highlight of Santana's day, even though she would only tell Brittany something like this, is Glee club. She knows she said it to them all last year, but she said it in a bitchy way. But really, truly, honestly, it was the best part of her day. She loved days like today, just sitting at the front of the class with the girls, Mercedes dancing around them singing her song 'Hell to the No'. It was awesome and she was very proud to be a part of a group who could write songs like this. Everyone was dancing and smiling and she couldn't help that her eyes were drawn to Britt's several times during the performance, just soaking in the ray of sunshine that Brittany was when she danced and sang.<p>

After the song, Santana made a comment about another Trouty Mouth verse which was completely shut down, but she didn't care. She actually didn't even write another verse, she was just trying to catch the attention of a certain blonde standing at the front of the piano. Mr. Schue then asked a question, 'Just think about it, what's your favorite song of all time?" She heard Brittany say 'My Headband', Berry's horrible attempt at music, and could barely suppress the groan. Brittany had begged Rachel to record it for her and they had listened to it one too many times over the last month. She actually broke the CD on 'accident' after Britt had it on repeat in the car.

Snapping back to the present, Santana blurted out the song she had been listening to for the last couple of days, "Alanis Morissette, You Ought'a Know". She wanted to slap herself for saying that out loud, but no one seemed to notice, except Brittany. She saw the blonde turn to her slightly, and the Latina couldn't help the shitty look that passed over her face as the blonde looked at her. She knew it wasn't nice, but she couldn't stop it and just had to let it slide. She tried to make it better by chiming in about the dirt locker prank that Coach Sylvester played, but Brittany didn't acknowledge it.

* * *

><p><em>Really San? You ought'a know? <em>Brittany couldn't even listen to the rest of the conversation whenever she heard the brunette say that. She started running the song over in her head, thinking about the lyrics and actually wanting to turn around and smack the stupid little grin off of Santana's face. She had never wanted to physically hurt Santana until she reached for her phone, Googled the video, and put her headphones in to listen…

_..I want you to know, that I'm happy for you…  
>..I wish nothing but the best for you both…<br>..An older version of me…  
>..Is she perverted like me…<br>..Would she go down on you in a theatre…  
>..Does she speak eloquently…<br>..And would she have your baby…  
>..I'm sure she'd make a really excellent mother…<em>

_..'cause the love that you gave that we made wasn't able…_  
><em>..To make it enough for you to be open wide, no…<em>  
><em>..And every time you speak her name…<em>  
><em>..Does she know how you told me you'd hold me…<em>  
><em>..Until you died, till you died…<em>  
><em>..But you're still alive…<em>

_..And I'm here to remind you…_  
><em>..Of the mess you left when you went away…<em>  
><em>..It's not fair to deny me…<em>  
><em>..Of the cross I bear that you gave to me…<em>  
><em>..You, you, you oughta know…<em>

She looked up to see Santana staring at her, brown eyes on blue, trying to decipher what the blonde was doing. Brittany couldn't hold the stare, she closed her eyes and looked back down, listening to the song…

_…You seem very well, things look peaceful…_  
><em>..I'm not quite as well, I thought you should know…<em>  
><em>..Did you forget about me Mr. Duplicity…<em>  
><em>..I hate to bug you in the middle of dinner…<em>  
><em>..It was a slap in the face how quickly I was replaced…<em>  
><em>..Are you thinking of me when you fuck her?...<em>

_..'cause the love that you gave that we made wasn't able…_  
><em>..To make it enough for you to be open wide, no…<em>  
><em>..And every time you speak her name…<em>  
><em>..Does she know how you told me you'd hold me…<em>  
><em>..Until you died, til you died…<em>  
><em>..But you're still alive…<em>

_..And I'm here to remind you…_  
><em>..Of the mess you left when you went away…<em>  
><em>..It's not fair to deny me…<em>  
><em>..Of the cross I bear that you gave to me…<em>  
><em>..You, you, you oughta know…<em>

She didn't realize how angry Santana was until she heard this song. She knew the Latina was in pain, but this was beyond anything she's ever seen from the Latina. She looked up again to see Santana's eyes on her. She was also starting to get pissed, because this song was straight calling her out…

_..'cause the joke that you laid on the bed that was me…_  
><em>..And I'm not gonna fade…<em>  
><em>..As soon as you close your eyes and you know it…<em>  
><em>..And every time I scratch my nails down someone else's back…<em>  
><em>..I hope you feel it...well can you feel it…<em>

_..Well, I'm here to remind you…_  
><em>..Of the mess you left when you went away…<em>  
><em>..It's not fair to deny me…<em>  
><em>..Of the cross I bear that you gave to me…<em>  
><em>..You, you, you oughta know…<em>

Brittany had heard enough; she got up, threw her phone down on the piano in front of Santana and walked from the room. Santana could hear the last bit of the song play out, now knowing what the blonde had been listening to when she put on her headphones. Everyone was staring at the door wondering what Brittany was doing, and when Artie started wheeling his way out the door, Santana told him 'no' and jumped up, grabbing B's phone, and running to the hall.

* * *

><p><em>Come on B, where are you… <em>the Latina was running through the halls trying to find the blonde. She had searched all the bathrooms close to their class and as she flew around another corner, she collided with a very furious looking blonde who was in the process of ripping up a picture from her locker. When Santana realized which picture it was, she grabbed the blonde's hands and told her to stop, "B, look at me! LOOK AT ME!" It wasn't a yell; it was more a desperate cry from the Latina because she hadn't seen those blue eyes looking at her for one too many days.

When the blonde looked up, Santana almost collapsed from the weight of the look she was getting from Brittany. It had tears, pain, anger, confusion, and every other type of emotion all rolled into one. She'd never seen B's eyes look like they were starting to cloud over; it literally looked like a storm was raging against a blue sky in those eyes.

Santana took a step back, still clutching Brittany's hands, and looks down at the now ripped picture. It had been torn right down the middle, right between the two smiling girls who had once looked so happy. This was foreign to Santana now; that look of happiness between her and her best friend. When she looked up again, she could see the guilt in Brittany's eyes. Santana took both halves of the picture, put them in her pocket, turned on her heel, and started to walk away. She heard a small squeak from behind her and even though she didn't want to, she turned around, just in time to see a flash of blue and blonde as Brittany grabbed the Latina and was pulling her into a tight hug.

After what felt like hours, Brittany dropped her arms, turned around and walked away. There was nothing else she could say, she just hoped her emotional act of rage of ripping up her favorite picture of her favorite person in the entire world didn't just sever the last remaining threads of her and Santana.

* * *

><p><em><em>**Friday**

It was the day before Regional's and everyone was pretty much on edge. They all got to hear Rachel sing 'Get it Right' but neither the fiery Latina or ditzy blonde were listening, they were more focused on ignoring one another. They rehearsed pretty much all day; Mr. Schue got them all excused from their classes so they could work on their new songs and hopefully get the steps down before the show tomorrow.

The last bell rung and they all knew they were ready to perform tomorrow. They could feel it; they knew they were going to win, their songs were too amazing not to. "Britt, we're SO going to win this thing tomorrow!" Artie was saying as he wheeled his girlfriend to her locker. "Seriously B, between our songs and you and Mike's choreography, we can't lose!" The blonde couldn't help but grin at her boyfriend; he was so excited for this competition and she didn't have the heart to tell him that she honestly could care less.

"Aren't you excited to sing?" He asked her when she stood up. "I mean, it's gonna be you, Rachel, and Tina on stage first; it's gonna be epic!"

"Yea I'm excited Artie, just really nervous." She was nervous, but she couldn't tell what kind of nerves it was. She decided on nervous excited and leaned down to give him a kiss. She felt the smile he always has on when their lips touch and she tried to feel what he was feeling. She tried to give herself up completely to the kiss, but when she opened her eyes, she wasn't seeing stars or anything, she was just kind of there. It made her feel terrible, but she hid that fact from her boyfriend.

"Artie, I think I'm going to stay at my own place tonight." She said as she turned her lock over in her hands, trying to get the combo right. "I just think a good night's sleep in my own bed will help me relax, is that ok?" She turns to see Artie fighting with himself; she knows this look, this look he wears when he's trying to decide how to say something.

"Is Santana coming over or something?" He tried to sound nonchalant but failed miserably. The blonde could only mumble a small 'no', and Artie could tell she wasn't lying. He wasn't sure what had happened between the two girls, but he knew better than to ask. If Brittany wanted him to know, she would say something to him.

Artie leaned over, gave Britt a light tap on the ass, and told her he'd see her tomorrow morning. As Brittany finally opened her locker, a small sight on her door caught her eye. There was the picture of her and Santana in San's car; the same one she had ripped up the day before. She brought her hands up to the picture, carefully removing it from its hook, and stared at it. It had a small piece of tape pressed down the middle, holding the two halves together. She stared at it for a long time, knowing but still confused as to how it was fixed and back in her locker. She noticed there was something written on the back, and when she read it, she couldn't help the tears that flowed down her face.

_Things can always be fixed B._

* * *

><p><em><strong>Ok, so I was planning on getting through Regional's in this chapter, but it was getting SO long. Lol So, This is part 1 of Get it Right. I'll have Part 2, which will be shorter, up hopefully in the next couple of days. Who knows, I might keep writing and have it up later tonight or tomorrow! <strong>_

_**Songs in this chapter are pretty obvious, the first, when San is singing B to sleep, is 'Iris' by the Goo Goo Dolls. The 2**__**nd**__** is You Oughta Know by Alanis Morissette.**_

_**Hope you enjoyed this! I love hearing from you guys! Let me know what you think! **_

_**-Kat**_


	6. Chapter 6, Get it Right Part 2

**Ok, so I said this one was going to be shorter, but honestly, it's not. Lol It might be shorter than part 1, but I have too many ideas for my girls. So, here is part 2 of Get It Right. Enjoy! **

**I lied, just finished writing this chapter. Super long. **

**Disclaimer: Glee isn't mine, but the mistakes are!**

* * *

><p><strong>Chapter 5<br>Get it Right, Part 2**

No one really slept the night before the competition. It just seemed like before every other competition they had ever competed in, someone would flip out or something would go horribly wrong. This is all they had ever known when it came to performing for New Directions, so they all had fears going into the day.

Santana had packed her horrible blue dress in her old cheerios bag, along with the black combat boots and black leggings. She knew she could pull just about anything off, but this outfit was pushing it. She had her phone in her hand the whole morning, praying for the text that usually came before any type of competition, whether it was for Cheerios or Glee Club.

Her phone finally went off, and even though it wasn't from who she wanted, she still had to smile.

_Hello my lovely ladies! We are going to kick ass today! Remember, we don't lose… ever! Muah! xoxo-Q_

She and Quinn's friendship had completely fallen apart after the whole her pregnancy/my boob job/taking my top spot/stealing her boyfriend situation. Santana might not like the girl sometimes, but they had been friends since they were kids, nothing could change a bond like that, not even a little bit of drama. This texting the morning before competitions was a tradition they had started their freshman year. Even if they had stayed the night at each other's houses before a Cheerios performance, each of the girls, B, Q, and S, would all send a text to each other, giving encouragement (Quinn), threatening their lives (San), or just being bubbly and nice (Britt). Santana was happy to see that even though so many things had changed, some things were just too strong to break.

_Alright bitches. You screw this up, I'm gonna be pissed. Nationals here we come! xoxo- S_

She couldn't stop herself from sending it to both girls; it was tradition, and she wasn't going to let this riff between Britt and her change that.

* * *

><p>Brittany's phone went off and she read the text from Quinn, smiling to herself because she always forgot to text Q and San until one of them texted her first. She was always grateful that they remembered because she most definitely did not. She sat there, musing over the text when her phone went off again and she saw the text from San. She was grateful that the Latina had texted her, even though she knew it was more because of Santana's love of tradition than her love for her, but she would take what she could get. She responded to both girls in her normal way:<p>

_I am so excited right now I could puke a rainbow, a unicorn, and a duck! We're going to NYC baby! xoxo-B_

She laughed at how ridiculous her text was, but she knew they'd understand, they always did. Quinn was her first best friend at school and San was the person who knew her better than she knew herself. These two girls were her people, and regardless if she was puking rainbows or rum, they would always be her girls.

* * *

><p>Quinn was happy to see that both her friends were writing in plurals, meaning they were not only texting her, but also texting each other. Quinn may act like the only thing that bothers her is Rachel and her unnerving way of getting between Finn and her, but she also worries about San and Britt. They were the inseparable threesome that graced the halls of McKinley. They started out best friends, made cheerios together, and became leaders of that team together. They fought, they made up, they fought some more, but nothing in the world could make Quinn want to see them hurting they way they were right now.<p>

The hazel eyed blonde has known from the beginning what was going on between her two friends. She roomed with them at Cheerios camp; it wasn't hard to put together when you hear them making out when they thought everyone was sleeping. Or the time she walked into the locker room and caught them half naked in the supply closet. She never spoke of those incidents though, because she knew that if the roles were reversed, she would want the same respect from them.

So she would ignore it; ignore them making gooey eyes at each other in glee, ignore it when Santana's hand would graze a little too high up Brittany's skirt, and ignore it when they would disappear at parties together, only to come back looking flushed and whispering in each other's ears, making their faces turn even more red.

But she couldn't ignore this.

She couldn't ignore the way Brittany walked around school like a lost puppy dog, not really knowing where to go or what class she had next. She had to walk Britt to class more times these past two weeks than she ever had in her life, because normally San would be there to do it. She couldn't ignore the way Santana was even more withdrawn from the group and lashing out every chance she got. And she couldn't ignore it when Santana had ran after Brittany the other day in Glee, only to have the blonde come back and looking like someone had just punched her in the gut. She couldn't ignore these things because they were her girls, and she had to look after them.

So she decided that today was the now or never moment. She had to tell them to stop doing this to each other and to kiss and make up and do whatever else it is that they do because she couldn't stand a bitchy(er) Santana or a sad Brittany.

* * *

><p><em>Ugh, it's fucking hot on this gosh damn bus. <em>The Latina thought as she sat down in the very back seat, furthest away from the whole group. She just wanted to sit and relax and listen to her iPod and try to ignore the babble of excitement coming from the front.

She couldn't help but notice Quinn talking to Brittany; something she hadn't seen happen in a long time. Brittany turned and looked at San, blushed when she got caught, and turned back toward the front. _They are totally talking about me… weird, normally that would bother me, now I just don't even want to know. _The brunette put her head back on the seat, trying hard to fall asleep, and pressed play on a random song. She had to let out a sigh as the song began, and she forced herself to listen to the words, willing them to make her feel better…

_..I miss those blue eyes…  
>..How you kissed me at night…<br>..I miss the way we sleep…  
>..Like there's no sunrise…<br>..Like the taste of your smile…  
>..I miss the way we breathe…<em>

_..But I never told you…_  
><em>..What I should have said…<em>  
><em>..No I never told you…<em>  
><em>..I just held it in…<em>  
><em>..And now I miss everything about you…<em>  
><em>..I can't believe I still want you…<em>  
><em>..After all the things we've been through…<em>  
><em>..I miss everything about you…<em>  
><em>..Without you…<em>

She feels the seat dip down next to her and is met with a very concerned pair of hazel eyes, but Quinn knows better than to ask. She reaches around to Santana's furthest ear and grabs the ear bud and sticks it in her ear closest to the Latina, listening to the song and grabbing Santana's hand and intertwining their fingers… 

_..I see your blue eyes…  
>..Every time I close mine…<br>..You make it hard to see…  
>..Where I belong to when I'm not around you…<br>..It's like I'm not with me…_

_..But I never told you…  
>..What I should have said…<br>..No I never told you…  
>..I just held it in…<br>..And now I miss everything about you…  
>..I can't believe I still want you…<br>..After all the things we've been through…  
>..I miss everything about you…<br>..Without you…_

_..But I never told you…  
>..What I should have said…<br>..No I never told you…  
>..I just held it in…<br>..And now I miss everything about you…  
>(still you're gone)<br>..Can't believe that I still want you…  
>(I never should of walked away)<br>..After all the things we've been through…  
>(I know, it's never gonna come again)<br>..I miss everything about you…  
>..Without you…<em>

She can feel Quinn's eyes on her as the song comes to an end but she can't make her eyes open to meet her gaze. Quinn tugs on her hand and Santana finally opens her eyes and looks at the blonde. She has a questioning look on her face and Santana can't help but smile when she sees her hand in Quinn's. They never had a touchy feely friendship, but Quinn knew when it was ok to do this and when it wasn't.

She knows her blonde friend is looking for answers, but she can't help the question that bubbles to her lips and can't choke them back before spilling over, "Why are you doing this Q? You hate me, you shouldn't care." She feels Quinn's hands lock tighter on hers and she looks up and sees a very motherly looking Quinn Fabray staring back at her. "You two got me through more than you could ever know; if all I can give you is each other, I will do whatever I can to do that." She says it as if it's the simplest thing in the word and Santana can't help but start her immediate apology for everything she had ever done to the blonde.

Quinn holds up a hand and silences her, giving her a simple, "it's ok, I forgive you..." and they move on. They sat like that, headphones still playing a wide range of music, just holding hands and both trying to decide how to continue the conversation. The Latina can't stand the silence any longer and pulls her headphones away from their ears and presses pause on her iPod.

"I love her Q. I love her more than myself, more than Glee, more than Cheerios, more than anything." She takes a quick breath, but she knows Quinn knows all of this, so she continues. "And she loves me back, she told me herself, but she also won't leave Artie for me and it kills me Quinn..." She actually had to take a steadying breath before looking up at Quinn.

Quinn reaches up and pops her on the back of the head, "Well duh she's not going to leave Artie for you, you big dummy! You completely cut yourself off from her and didn't even let her explain anything to you!" Santana tried to explain that she has to let Britt go so she won't be so miserable all the time, only getting her a quick sneer from the blonde next to her. "You're only miserable when you're without her you know," Quinn states matter-of-factly as she stands up to move to the front, but before she got too far away, she turns to the Latina and says, "and by the way, she told me herself, 'she misses you more'…"

Santana could only watch as Q sat back down amongst everyone in the club. She had to laugh at herself a little as she started sifting through memories of her and Brittany's random late night texting conversations that always ended the same way…

_I miss you already! –S_

_I miss you more though! –B_

_I really don't think that's humanly possible. –S_

_I promise, it is, because, not only do I miss you more, I also love you more. –B_

_Now you've gone off the deep end. I love you more and I miss you most.-S_

These conversations would go on for hours, both girls usually giggling uncontrollably as they would read the response to their last text. Finally one of them would either fall asleep or cave in and cut the conversation off so neither of them could win the word war. Santana couldn't help it as her fingers found her phone and she was typing the familiar words into the text, not really sure if she wanted to do this or not, but also not able to stop herself.

* * *

><p><em>I miss you the most.-S<em>

Brittany's heart was in her throat as she swung around and glanced at the Latina who had her headphones back in and was staring out the window. She couldn't help but stare as a small smile graced the brunette's lips, and even though it wasn't a happy smile, Brittany knew a good song must have just come on from the girls' iPod. She was bobbing her head with the music and looked like she was rapping and Brittany could only shake her head as Santana really got into the rap and was doing her 'ghetto hands' that she does when she really gets going. At the exact moment Brittany started laughing, Santana turned and looked at her; she was mid rap apparently, but couldn't help the smile that spread across her face when she saw Brittany laughing at her.

San turned back to the window though almost immediately after catching herself smiling at Brittany. The blonde felt a fist tighten in her stomach and felt like she might be sick; she got car sick sometimes, but B knew this was just a reaction to seeing Santana so happy then so sad at the same time. Brittany doesn't know what made her do it, but she got up, and with almost everyone's eyes on her, she slowly walked back to the closed eyed Latina.

She sat down next to San and was praying she wouldn't pull away from her or tell her to leave. Santana felt the seat dip again and almost rolled her eyes thinking it was Quinn, but was stopped short when she saw a different blonde sitting next to her. It wasn't her hazel eyed friend; it was the blue eyed beauty that took her breath away. She looked at her for a moment then put her head back onto the seat and closed her eyes.

Brittany knew she could stay, and she leaned and grabbed an ear bud from San's ear, put it in hers, and laid her head on the Latina's shoulder. They sat there for a second, neither of them as much as breathing, until she felt Santana link her pinky with hers. She nestled in closer to her best friend and was grateful that they didn't need to talk about all this right now; they were just going to enjoy the moment of feeling each other close again.

The song 'Pretty Wings' came on and Brittany could feel Santana turning her head to look at her; she was scared to open her eyes, but she did anyway. This was their song; this was the song they would drive around listening to for hours and it brought back so many good moments between them. Santana pulled B off her shoulder and wrapped her arms around her, nestling the blonde into the crook of her neck and breathing in her scent. This song had a much different meaning for the two of them at this moment, but they could do nothing, they were at the mercy of that iPod playlist…

_..Time will bring the real end of our trial.  
>..One day there'll be no remnants,<br>..no trace, no residual…  
>..No feelings within ya,<br>..One day you won't remember me…_

_..Your face will be the reason I smile,  
>..But I will not see what I cannot have forever…<br>..I'll always love ya,  
>..I hope you feel the same…<em>

She felt Santana's quick intake of breath and couldn't help but squeeze her pinky, hoping with all hope that this song wasn't going to rip them apart when things were feeling better again…

_..Whoa, you played me dirty, your game was so bad…  
>..You toyed with my affliction,<br>..Had to fill out my prescription,  
>..For the remedy…<br>..I had to set you free.._

_..Away from me,  
>..To see clearly the way that love can be,<br>..When you are not with me…_

_..I had to leave,  
>..I had to live…<br>..I had to leave,  
>..I had to live...<em>

Brittany could feel the tense set of Santana's shoulders as they both listened to the song with new ears. She wanted to throw the iPod out of the buses window, knowing that this one song was ruining her first peaceful encounter with the Latina in a week…

_..If I can't have you,  
>..Let love set you free to fly your pretty wings around…<em>

_..Pretty wings, your pretty wings,  
>..Your pretty wings, pretty wings around…<em>

_..I came wrong, you were right…  
>..Transformed your love into lie…<br>..Baby believe me, I'm sorry I told you lies…_

_..I turned day into night…  
>..Sleep till I die a thousand times…<br>..I should have showed you,  
>..Better nights, better times, better days…<br>..And I miss you more and more…_

_..If I can't have you…  
>..Let love set you free…<br>..To fly your pretty wings around… _

_..Pretty wings, your pretty wings, your,  
>..Pretty wings, your Pretty wings around…<em>

When the song was over, the Latina's arms were no longer around her. Her pinky had come out of Brittany's grip sometime during the song, and she knew she was being dismissed. Their moment was over. As Brittany got up to go back to the front of the bus, she couldn't help but whisper in the direction of Santana, 'I miss you the most'. As she walked away, she could have sworn she heard a 'not possible' whispered back to her.

* * *

><p>When New Directions finally arrived at the competition site, you could feel the nerves pouring out of them. Some were nervous because this was something that had never been done before; original songs can be a death sentence if done wrong. Some were just nervous because it was a competition, and some, well only one, weren't nervous at all.<p>

Santana loved this stuff; she lived and breathed competing. When she was a Cheerio, she would be the one marching up and down in front of the troops, telling them it was 'do or die' time, looking more like Braveheart than a high school cheerleader. This is when she missed being a Cheerio the most though; the sound of a crowd, the nerves of those around her, the heightened senses she seemed to possess when she knew it was all on them to take home a W. These were the things she missed. She saw Q walking next to Brittany, and even though she didn't want to, she knew they had one more tradition to keep before heading inside.

She walked up and grabbed Quinn's elbow and spun her around, in turn making the taller blonde turn with her. Q's eyes widened for a moment before realizing that they would follow through on their rituals, regardless of how things were between them all. Brittany looked a little scared, so San gave her a small smile and said her line first, "Why are we here?"

The two blondes recited back to her in perfect sync, a small smile playing on their lips, "Because we're the best."

"And why are we the best?"

"Because we work the hardest, run the fastest, and yell the loudest."

"And what will that get us?"

"The Win."

With that, Santana walked around the two girls and headed inside. She felt a knot in her throat as she did so, but she couldn't force herself to go back to her friends. She wanted to get this day over with, regardless of how happy she was to be here.

* * *

><p>"I can't believe she still did that!" Brittany pretty much screamed in Quinn's ear, the taller blonde bouncing around her, not able to contain her excitement after what had just passed between the three girls.<p>

"I'm tellin' ya B, she'll come around. Just give her some time, she's a stubborn ass, we all know that." Quinn couldn't help but laugh at her blonde friend as she started pulling her inside.

Brittany could barely control herself as she sat in her spot next to Artie in the crowd. He could see her excitement, but he thought it was because of the competition. So he just linked their hands and marveled at how beautiful she looked when she had a full smile on her face. It was a smile that had been missing for a couple of weeks and he was grateful that it had come back.

The first group came on and Brittany couldn't help but think it was a little strange to sing a song about Jesus, especially since it had been Coach Sylvester's team. _I mean, she freaked out on us for singing about religion in Glee and here she is doing a whole show number about it? _Brittany didn't pick up on everything, but this truly had her confused.

The New Directions sat through the Warblers routine and Brittany couldn't control but grin when Kurt started to sing. She loved the songs and it made her more relaxed hearing songs that she knew. Plus she was happy to see that Kurt was fitting in so well with his team; it made her feel better to know someone was getting things figured out for themselves.

* * *

><p>Santana couldn't help but look at Brittany during the song Candles that the Warblers sang. <em>'…All the games you played, the promises you made, couldn't finish what you started, only darkness still remains…<em>' She knew what she needed to do, she just didn't want to. She knew that even if she couldn't have Brittany in the way she wanted, she still needed her. She just wasn't sure if she could do the whole 'just friends' thing; she didn't know if things could ever be normal.

Because she couldn't figure out any of this, she decided to just enjoy the moment. The Warbler's were singing one of her favorite songs and she just let go; and for the first time in a long time, she was smiling and singing and dancing, and for once, not thinking about anything but having a good time.

* * *

><p>Brittany knew they were going to be heading backstage soon, and she wanted to catch Santana's eye before they did. They usually would talk to each other before any competition, but it wasn't like before, this wasn't something her, Quinn, and San did together, this was strictly between her and the Latina. She didn't see her at all as they took their places on each side of the stage. She was kind of worried that the Latina had gotten lost and would miss the show, but before she could freak out, she felt a nudge on her shoulder. She looked over and her heart soared.<p>

Santana was standing on her right, just staring out at the stage. Rachel was about to walk on so they didn't have a lot of time. They didn't say anything to one another for a few moments, just stared at Rachel. Finally, Santana looked up, ran a finger over Brittany's cheek, whispered 'good luck' and turned to walk to her spot behind Mercedes. Before she could get far, Brittany had grabbed her hand. _Screw pinkies, I need the whole hand! _The blonde yelled inside the confines of her own mind.

Santana stared at her for a second, trying to figure out what she was going to say, but the song started and Rachel was singing. Brittany was staring at her with a look that could only be described as heartbroken. The blonde turned to face the stage, but kept a firm grip on the Latina's hand…

_..What have I done? I wish I could run…  
>..Away from this ship goin' under…<br>..Just tryin' to help, hurt everyone else…  
>..Now I feel the weight of the world is…<br>..On my shoulders…_

_..What can you do when your good isn't good enough?...  
>..And all that you touch tumbles down?...<br>..'Cause my best intentions keep making a mess of things…  
>..I just wanna fix it somehow…<em>

_..But how many it times will it take?...  
>..Oh, how many times will it take for me?...<br>..To get it right…  
>..To get it right…<em>

The blonde squeezed her hand, trying to convey all of her thoughts and emotions into the simple gesture, turns once to look at her best friend, and then walks out on the stage…

_..Can I start again, with my faith shaken?...  
>..'Cause I can't go back and undo this…<br>..I just have to stay and face my mistakes…  
>..But if I get stronger and wiser…<br>..I'll get through this…_

_..What can you do when your good isn't good enough?...  
>..And all that you touch tumbles down?...<em>

_..But how many it times will it take?...  
>..Oh, how many times will it take for me?...<br>..To get it right…_

_..So I throw up my fists…  
>..Throw a punch in the air…<br>..And accept the truth that sometimes life isn't fair…  
>..Yeah, I'll send out a wish…<br>..Yeah, I'll send up a prayer…  
>..And finally, someone will see…<br>..How much I care!..._

Thank God for Mercedes or Santana would have missed their cue to walk out on stage. She saw Brittany, who was all smiles, singing behind Rachel. She couldn't help but notice that the smile was wrong; it was the smile B did when she was trying not to cry.

_..What can you do when your good isn't good enough?...  
>..And all that you touch tumbles down?...<br>..'Cause my best intentions keep making a mess of things…  
>..I just wanna fix it somehow…<em>

When Brittany turned to take her place between Santana and Mercedes, the Latina couldn't stop herself from grazing the blonde's hand as she walked by…

_..But how many it times will it take?...  
>..Oh, how many times will it take for me?...<br>..To get it right…  
>..To get it right…<em>_  
><em>

'_Damn, Rachel just blew that out of the water.' _

That was all the Latina could think as the song ended and the crowd was on its feet.

* * *

><p>They ended up winning the competition, which they all knew they were going to after they finished 'Loser Like Me'. It was pretty much a perfect day; and watching Sue punch that lady in the face was also a very big highlight. Santana was back on the bus just reminiscing about all their wins and losses as a team and couldn't hold back a smile when she saw the boys dancing in their seats. <em>The day was pretty much perfect <em>she said to herself as she reached for her iPod.

She was looking around at her friends and happened to catch Brittany looking at her. She was starting to wonder how long this fight between them was going to last. She knew it was her fault just as much as it was Brittany's, but they both had a lot of pride and were not going to give into one another. Just then, Santana realized that she needed to swallow that pride if she ever wanted Brittany back in her life.

She heard her name being called out, which interrupted the internal conversation she was having with herself, and looked up. "I'm having a party tonight! And no worries Mr. Schue, no alcohol, promise!" It was Puck, and apparently she was being told she had plans for the night. "We just need to celebrate, and if we can't drink on a Saturday night, we all might as well hang out together!" Santana nodded her head, agreeing to be there, and went back to her iPod, silently hoping that Brittany hadn't made other plans.

* * *

><p>A few hours later, Brittany was driving to Puck's with a car full of people. Artie was in the front and Sam, Mercedes, and Kurt were in the back. They had invited Blaine, but he was still kind of torn up about losing; not Kurt, Kurt was so happy for us he could barely contain himself. "And oh my god, when Rachel started singing that song, and even though I hate to admit it, I could FEEL it. Like, not in a 'I wanna throw up' sort a way either!" Kurt sighed out. He was missing all of us, Brittany could tell, and this was his way of showing it; by coming to their celebration even if his team lost.<p>

They got to Puck's a little later than everyone else, so the party was in full swing when they walked in. The music was turned up and virgin margaritas and daiquiris were being passed around the party. Everyone looked like they were having a good time, and when she glanced over and saw the raven colored hair of her best friend, she had to take a quick breath and turn away before anyone saw her blush.

Santana was in a little black dress, well above the knee and low cut between her still very new looking breasts. She had on a pair of bright red heels that most girls, plus Kurt, would swoon over and her legs looked like a supermodels. "Damn San, lookin' all hot for me?" Sam said, standing over Brittany's shoulder as he looked at Santana. The Latina looked up and locked eyes with Brittany before looking at Sam, "Well duh baby, who else would I want to look this good for?" She got up, brushed past the blonde, and grabbed Sam around the waist.

The blonde boy wasn't used to this type of affection from Santana, so he decided not to comment and brushed some hair out of her eyes. She had a goofy grin on her face as she leaned in to kiss him; '_oh, she tastes like a vodka bottle.' _Sam thought as he pulled away from his girlfriend and finally noticed how glassy her eyes were. "You've been drinking; and not the fake stuff either. You're drunk." He accused as he unlocked her arms from his neck.

"M'not." Scoffed the Latina as she looked up at him with a stubborn set to her mouth.

"Oh really? Then why do you taste like a mixed drink and an ashtray?"

"Dunno, m'not drunk though. Hmmm just tipsy." She blurted out and then almost fell over onto the couch. "'Kay, maybe I am a wittttle bit drunk. That's otay though, more fun."

Sam rolled his eyes and looked at Brittany with a 'help me' gaze and the Latina noticed. "Oh right, like she'll be able to help you out. She hates me, but, I got'sa secret." The Latina was leaning in toward Sam's ear now, "I don't hate her at allllll. But shhh, don't tell her, 'kay?" Santana thought she had been whispering, but really she was saying it loud enough for the blonde to hear. Sam glanced at Brittney with a small hint in his eye of understanding, but wasn't going to ask any questions.

Sam didn't love Santana like he loves Quinn. He and Santana had pretty much started dating just to get back at Quinn, but now he was starting to realize maybe it was more than just Quinn that Santana was trying to make jealous. He looked at his girlfriend then back at the blonde, not sure what he could say, but before he could even open his mouth, Brittany was making a break for it.

* * *

><p>Brittany pushed her way passed the Latina, into the kitchen and out the back door. She couldn't do this with the brunette right now. She couldn't handle anymore drama from a drunken Santana. She stepped out into the night and leaned against the railing of Puck's deck. She just needed the fresh air to clear away the last of her blush and the thoughts that were racing through her head at what the Latina said. She knew Santana missed her just as much as she missed Santana; when they were on the bus, when they were out front of the competition, right before B went on stage, and after when she caught Santana looking up at her. All of these things proved that Santana still wanted to be near her, even if it wasn't in the way either of them wanted.<p>

She was brought from her daze when the back door swung open and a drunken Santana was stumbling toward her. The brunette threw her a nasty look and pulled a pack of cigarettes from the top of her dress. She pulled one out and lit it, not looking at the blonde when she took a huge hit off of the cigarette. Brittany hated when she smoked, it made her taste all wrong; it made her not taste like cinnamon gum and the distinct taste of Santana herself. She wasn't trying to think about the taste of Santana, something she hadn't had in awhile, so instead she leaned back against the railing just watching the Latina smoke, trying hard not to say anything but also not holding back the look of disgust on her face as her best friend puffed away.

"What?" Santana shot at her when she realized she was staring.

"I didn't say anything; don't get shitty with me because you're drunk and being stupid." Brittany shot back.

"I'm sorry, excuse me?" Santana had walked up to where Brittany was standing, exhaling a stream of smoke toward the blonde who immediately moved away and waved her hand in front of her face. The Latina just laughed and took another long drag off the cigarette then threw the butt out in the yard.

"Why can't you just be sober for one weekend?" Brittany asked her as she sat down on the swing. "I mean, you're drinking because you're pissed, not because we won. If me being here makes you drink then I'll leave." She was about to get up until Santana slid into the space next to her, keeping far enough away to avoid touching.

"I don't drink because of you, don't flatter yourself B." The Latina spat out before taking another swig off the beer she had been holding. "I drink because of me and how pissed off I am. Drinking makes me feel better, because I don't have anything else that makes me feel good."

Brittany knew that comment was directed at her, but decided to ignore it for now. She wasn't going to try and have a conversation with a drunk Santana, it never seemed to end good. They either ended up yelling at each other or having sex, and neither of those two things would make it better. At the thought of sex with the brunette, Brittany had to try to stop the burning feeling in her stomach and between her legs that she got when she started thinking about ripping off Santana's clothes and… _STOP Britt. _

Santana seemed to sense Brittany's feelings because she moved closer to the blonde and started drawing patterns on her exposed thigh. "Good job today, by the way," The blonde said, trying hard to ignore the hand, "You sang really well." She took a deep breath when she felt the brunette leaning into her neck and whispering "You too" in her ear before taking her earlobe in between her lips. Brittany literally shivered from the contact and she felt the hand on her thigh tighten before continuing the draw its patterns.

She didn't want to do this to herself; she knew she could lean her head to the side and kiss the Latina's lips and they could dash off to her house and no one would be the wiser. She knew she had these options, and yet, she also knew she had to stop it. "San, please, just stop." And she pushed the brunette away, readying herself for a furious Latina. She felt Santana move away from her; she watched as the brunette walked to the railing and slid down onto the deck.

She couldn't help but groan a little as she got up and went to sit on the ground by her best friend. She didn't know if San would push her away or not, so they just sat there; neither of them touching each other, no words being spoken, while Santana cried. She looked up at the blonde a few times, trying to find something in her eyes that made her believe they'd be ok, but Brittany wouldn't meet her gaze.

* * *

><p><em>Ugh, I'm so pathetic, she won't even look at me… <em>Santana was trying to think clearly but the alcohol and head change she got from the cigarette was making her mind fuzzy. She kept crying, not really sure if it was the rejection from the blonde or just the feeling of being so alone that was making her so weak. Finally, the silence was too much, and all she could say was how sorry she was.

She almost laughed at Brittany's expression, because she looked so confused at the simple words she had just spoken; she decided she needed to elaborate. "I'm sorry for coming on to you, I'm sorry for being a bitch when I'm around you, I'm sorry for always trying to ignore you, and I'm sorry that I'm not sorry for loving you."

She wasn't planning on saying the last part, but since she was apologizing, she figured she'd get it all out. Brittany was staring at her again, her mouth hanging open, obviously not sure if she should even try to comment on the last part. Instead, she let out a whoosh of air and grabbed the Latina's hand, pulling it into her lap and wrapping her other hand around them both.

"I'm sorry that you think I'm choosing Artie over you, for making you think that you were second on my list." The Latina was about to interrupt, but Brittany silenced her. "I'm sorry that I love you and it's not enough right now. I'm sorry that I want to be with you so bad that it hurts and that I'm not able to be with you…. And, I'm sorry…" Santana looked up, waiting for the rest, but when B looked like she wasn't going to continue, she asked, "And what B? I can tell you weren't finished… what else?"

* * *

><p>Brittany was scared to death to say the next words, but she had to say them. She had to let Santana go because if she doesn't, San will never know who she truly is. Her mom's words were ringing in her ears... <em>"When she figures it all out, she'll be over the moon to tell you…"<em> She looked over at her best friend; she met brown eyes so deep you could fall into them, a face that Brittany couldn't even find the words for because it was her everything. She could feel Santana's hand in hers, and she tightened her grip, hoping beyond hope that she would hear her out.

"Please let me get everything out before you get mad or try to leave or anything ok?" She looked at Santana who could only swallow deep and nod her head. "Ok, I'm sorry, but I have to let you go. I don't want to lose you, please don't think that's what I mean. I mean that I need you to find yourself, without me, because that's never happened before. When you used to go on summer vacations with your family, you always would take your cousins and I would be left here by myself. I got to learn about who I was San, but you, you've always had someone with you. You've always had me or Quinn and I honestly don't think you've ever learned to just be comfortable with just being by yourself."

She glanced at Santana, whose eyes were now turning a bit cold. Brittany knew she was losing her, and fast, because when her eyes do this, it makes it impossible to read her face, so the blonde quickly continued. "I just think that maybe you and I should take a break from each other. We've been hanging on so tight that we've forgotten what it's like to be our own person. San, you need to figure out who you are."

"I know who I am!" Santana almost shouted as she tried to rip her hand from Brittany's, but B just tightened her grip. She was stronger than Santana and she knew she could keep her there until she finished talking.

"I'm going to ask you a question and I want you to answer me honestly." She said it softly and Santana was still struggling, but Brittany just sat there, waiting for her to stop. "If I said that I would break up with Artie and that I wanted you," _that got her attention _she thought, "on Monday, would you stand in front of the entire school and tell them I was yours. That I was all you ever wanted and that we were dating and that our relationship is real. Would you be able to walk down the hall with my hand in yours and kiss me at our lockers and sing to me in Glee? Would you be able to do that?"

Santana was staring at her, wanting with everything in her body to scream 'yes' and lead the parade to tell Artie he was single, but she couldn't. She was scared to death of what the peons at school would say, and the power they had over her only made her feel weaker.

"No Brittany, I wouldn't be able to do that yet…" She added the 'yet' to let Brittany know she was seriously going to work on herself, to figure out who she was and what she wanted.

She could see the blonde's face fall just a bit and she couldn't help but crawl up to her knees and sit in front of her best friend. She took her face between her hands; she loved the way Brittany's creamy skin looked laying in between her caramel colored fingers and leaned in and pressed a small kiss to her lips. "When I figure this out, I promise, you will be the first to know." She says as she presses another kiss to the blonde's mouth.

Brittany looked up with tears in her eyes and couldn't help but grab Santana's wrists and pull her hands from her face. "I know…" she whispered. She slowly got up, knowing she needed to say one more thing.

"San, this week, at school and stuff, I don't want us to not be ok… I know we're fighting and stuff, but can things just be ok? Just, maybe not back to normal, but at least can we not intentionally try to hurt each other anymore?" Brittany was nervously playing with her hands, not able to look at Santana because she wasn't sure how she would be answered.

She felt a finger under her chin and she was once again staring into brown eyes. "I can't promise that I won't be distant, because I don't think I can be around you without wanting you, but I won't be mean anymore. I know I've been a bitch all week, so yea, we'll be ok."

"You promise?" the blonde asked as Santana turned to walk away. Santana turned around and for the first time in a week found herself smiling and sounding hopeful,

"I promise."

* * *

><p><strong>Alrighty guys, another chapter done! So, like I said, this was supposed to be shorter than the earlier one, but no, it wasn't. I just had a lot to get out. Not sure when I'll update again, my boo is coming in town this weekend, so I'll be pretty much pre-occupied. <strong>

**He'll bring me flowers, I gotta be nice and pay attention to him some too! ;) **

**Anywho, hope you enjoyed it! Let me know what you think! I love people's ideas, and anything you guys wanna give me could easily be put in here! Thanks guys! You're the best!**

**-Kat**

**P.s. First song on the bus was 'I never told you' by Colbie Caillat. And even though I didn't write it in, I picture Santana rapping along with some 'BeuGhetto' by Ali & Murphy from the Saint Lunatics. The second song, when B and San were listening together, was 'Pretty Wings' by Maxwell. The last was of course, 'Get it Right' from Glee. xoxo**


	7. Chapter 7, Wound Up

**Not really sure where this chapter is going to go. Night of Neglect gave me some good stuff, but it's kinda hard to write right now. Not sure if it's the nostalgia left over from an amazing weekend or what, but I don't know where this will be by the end! Might have to wait till the GaGa episode to give me more to go off of, but there's a cute Brittana picture online that made me want to write, so here I goesssss…**

**Oh, and sorry for the smut in the middle, (if that even bothers anyone), but their sexual tension is ridiculous and I had to let some out, even if it's just a flashback.. **

* * *

><p><strong>Chapter 7<br>Wound Up**

Brittany lay in bed most of the Sunday following the party. She just wasn't motivated to get up. She had been up all night Friday because of her nerves for Regional's, and after not getting home late from the Glee after party, she just needed to relax. Her hand found the remote to her iPod player, hit 'power' and let the music flow throughout her room.

Her mom came in to see if she needed anything after hearing the music playing from her bedroom, but she didn't stick around long. She could tell her daughter was having an off day and didn't want to pry. Brittany was grateful for her mom and how understanding she was with the whole Santana thing, but she didn't think she could do anymore talking right now about that. She was already playing the night over and over in her head and didn't want to relive it out loud too.

She also couldn't keep back the images and feelings of the nightmare she had last night after falling asleep; almost like it was waiting for this night to resurface from the depths of her subconscious. It was the same one she always had; Santana was nowhere to be found and it made her feel so empty and alone that it terrified her. Brittany had actually woken up, groping the sheets and pillow next to her, waiting for the Latina to whisper to her that everything was fine and that she was there. When those words didn't come, she couldn't help but give into the sob that was building in her chest and she cried herself back to sleep.

She knew it was childish to let her dreams get to her like that, but for the first time after waking from that dream, it felt like she was finally living that nightmare. She couldn't feel Santana like she used to; not just physically, but emotionally as well. They had shared a small moment last night, apologizing to one another, but it didn't feel real to the blonde. Almost like it was just another part of her dreaming; but she knew it wasn't a dream. She knew she told Santana that she needed to figure her stuff out and she knew that she wouldn't be able to be near the brunette for awhile. It made her heart ache to know that she was doing this to herself, but she also knew that if she wanted Santana to figure out who she was, she needed this break to do it.

Brittany hadn't moved in almost an hour; just staring at the ceiling, thinking about Santana, school, Artie, Glee, Cheerios, just everything. She was thinking about stuff she really shouldn't have been, but couldn't stop herself. Stuff like, the first time she had sex with Artie and how bad it had been. About how mad he was after Santana made up the rumor of her sleeping with everyone in school and that Artie was no different. She was thinking about the second time her and Artie had sex and how much better it was. She tried to stop herself, but she couldn't help but think about the first time her and Santana had had sex. How perfect it was in every sense of the word. They had fit perfectly together; like they were made specifically to love each other. It made Brittany smile when she thought about it; it also turned her on and she forced herself to concentrate on the music playing in her bedroom instead.

She hadn't actually been listening to the music because of all her thinking, but now that she needed a distraction, the music was the most interesting thing in the world. She couldn't help but think about how long it had been since she danced when a Beyonce song came on. She's danced for Glee and for her classes, but she hadn't actually just gone to dance on her own time. She decided she'd go to the studio today and get some practice in; just something to get her mind off of everything.

* * *

><p>Brittany got to the studio not even an hour later, thankful that her mom's best friend owned the place and she could go in there whenever she wanted. She liked to go on Sunday's because it was closed and she didn't have to worry about being watched or bothered by anyone. She was sporting her normal dance wear; sweats and a sports bra, and couldn't help but feel her body get giddy for the chance to just dance.<p>

She put her iPod on random, telling herself that whatever song came on, she'd dance to it. She could dance to pretty much anything; the girl knew everything from hip hop to jazz, tap to ballet. So once she was limbered up and had stretched for almost half hour, she hit play, and moved to stand in the middle of the floor, staring at the glass mirror in front of her, waiting for the song.

When it came on, she wasn't sure if she could follow through to dance to just anything, but once the beat hit, she couldn't help but let herself go…

_..__I'm holding on your rope,  
>..Got me ten feet off the ground…<br>..I'm hearin' what you say but I just can't make a sound…  
>..You tell me that you need me…<br>..Then you go and cut me down, but wait…  
>..You tell me that you're sorry,<br>..Didn't think I'd turn around, and say..._

_..It's too late to apologize, it's too late…_  
><em>..I said it's too late to apologize, it's too late…<em>

Brittany found herself moving in front of the mirror, not thinking but still hearing the song that was bouncing off the walls around her… She looked up and caught her reflection in the mirror; she almost didn't recognize herself. Her face was so serious, her body flawless, her legs perfectly straight, and her blonde hair swinging around as she spun once more…  
><em><br>..I'd take another chance, take a fall,  
>..Take a shot for you…<em>  
><em>..I need you like a heart needs a beat,<em>  
><em>..It's nothin new…<em>  
><em>..I loved you with a fire red-,<em>  
><em>..Now it's turning blue, and you say...<em>  
><em>.."Sorry" like the angel heaven let me think was you,<em>  
><em>..But I'm afraid...<em>

_..It's too late to apologize, it's too late…_  
><em>..I said it's too late to apologize, it's too late…<em>

_..It's too late to apologize, it's too late…_  
><em>..I said it's too late to apologize, it's too late…<em>  
><em>..It's too late to apologize, yeah…<em>  
><em>..I said it's too late to apologize, yeah-…<em>  
><em>..I'm holdin on your rope, got me ten feet off the ground...<em>

She hit the floor. She wasn't sure if it was the dance that made her legs give out or the weight of all her past misgivings finally coming into focus, but there she was. Forehead on the dance floor and tears of regret flowing down her face; she hadn't felt so sure in her life that she had made the wrong choice. Pushing Santana away had been the biggest mistake of her life and she knew that after last night, she was going to reap what she had sewn.

* * *

><p>The Latina stood behind the glass wall staring as her best friend crumpled to the floor. Santana knew Brittany came here on Sundays and was going to talk to her after she finished practicing, but was drawn into the studio to watch her dance. She hadn't seen Brittany dance for herself in a long time and she didn't want to miss an opportunity of seeing the blonde move without feeling the pressure of being great, even though she was.<p>

Santana knew this glass was a two-way mirror made for instructors to watch their students; her and Britt had come back here many times after classes and had some hot and steamy sessions of their own. It was a thrill because they could still see and hear everything but no one could see them. Santana's thoughts of their random sexual escapades only stole her attention for a second before she turned back to Brittany. The blonde was still on the floor, shoulders slumped and forehead pressed against the hard wood; she could see her lips moving but it was too quiet for her to hear. She wanted to run out into the studio and try to fix it, but Brittany's words from the night before were ringing in her ears. _"You have to figure out who you are San, and until then, maybe we should take a break from one another." _

Santana stole one more look at the blonde before moving to the door. It was against her nature to not comfort B when she was crying, but she knew that if she really wanted to take the blonde's advice, she needed to let her be. So instead of going to her, she slipped out into the afternoon sun and got into her car. She wasn't sure what made her do it, but she sat for a long time, almost hoping Brittany would come out and catch her waiting there. Santana decided she was pushing her luck; she put the car in drive and drove away.

On the way home, she couldn't help but think back on those three minutes in the studio. She hadn't seen Brittany move like that in a long time, and it had been an even longer time since she had seen the blonde's face look like that. Brittany didn't know this, but it was something Santana loved about the girl. Most times, B looked like she was just bumbling through life; either at school or at home or in Glee, but when she danced, that look disappeared. She had this almost devious face that had a light plastered behind it that you were just drawn to. She would be dancing and her features would change in a way that made her look like there was a different person in her body; it used to freak Santana out because she didn't like such a fierce expression being worn on her best friend, but after seeing the depth of that look, it only made the Latina love her more.

Before Santana knew it, she was thinking of the other times Brittany would wear a face like that; it was usually when they were all alone at one of their houses. Brittany was a force to be reckoned with in the bedroom, and that devious, fiery face would come back every time she had the Latina's arms pinned above her head…

0o0o0o0o0o0o

'_Damn B, give me a second to throw my keys down." The Latina had said as Brittany pushed her against the front door and pressed her lips to Santana's._

'_No.' she growled against the brunettes neck as she started nipping and licking at various spots, making the Latina let out a breathy moan that only made the blonde more ferocious. Her nipping and licking turned to biting and sucking as Santana arched her back, pressing their bodies closer together. Brittany bit down on Santana's neck, right where it met her shoulder, and could feel Santana's legs give out. She pressed her body harder against the Latina, keeping her upright, and continued maneuvering Santana's head every which way so she could continue her work on her neck. _

'_Dear god…' was all Santana could say as Brittany nipped at her earlobe, whispering in her ear that she had no idea what she had coming._

_She pulled Santana toward the stairs, letting go of her hand and sprinting up to the Latina's bedroom, looking over her shoulder a couple of times to make sure she was still being followed. Santana could see the look on Brittany's face clearly now; that fierce look she got when she wanted to ravage the Latina. It took her less time to get up the stairs than it ever had in her entire life. _

_They got to the bedroom, barely, and most of their clothing was still in the hallway. Brittany was in nothing but her bra and underwear by the time they hit the bed, Santana on the other hand, was already naked. Brittany straddled her and Santana could feel how wet she already was when her underwear hit her stomach; it only made the Latina want her more. She ran her hands up Brittany's thighs, trying to restrain herself but failing miserably. She ran her fingers on the outside of the blondes underwear, threateningly close to her panty line, when the blonde gave out another throaty 'no' and grabbed Santana's hands, pulling them up above her head and pinning them to the pillow. _

_She felt the blonde's lips crash against hers, her tongue demanding entrance and it being granted. Santana could feel Brittany's hands loosen their grip as one started to trail down her tan body. Her legs twitched when she felt the blondes hand stop on her inner thigh. She opened her eyes and saw Brittany staring at her, a small smile playing on her lips, and Santana couldn't help but lean up and capture the blonde's lips with her own once again. _

_Brittany's fingers moved inside her and she couldn't help the moan that escaped her mouth, bouncing back to her off the back of Brittany's own throat. The blonde moved with quick and practiced motions as she watched the Latina's body responding to her touch. She moved down and took Santana's breast into her mouth, flicking her nipple with her tongue before darting to the other to repeat the process. She could hear Santana's breathing hitch as she tried to speak, but nothing came out. Santana's hips were bucking wildly at this point, trying to get Brittany to go deeper and harder into her. Santana told her to 'come here', but Brittany had other plans and decided to go a different direction. _

_Her mouth found Santana's hot spot before the brunette even knew what was happening. She heard Santana almost yell when her tongue replaced her fingers and hit that bundle of nerves that can send anyone over the edge. She felt Santana's hands tangle in her hair, pushing her mouth closer to her, and Brittany happily obliged. She could tell when Santana was getting close because her hands got tighter in her hair and she could hear her saying 'please don't stop' and 'right there, B, right there'. It turned her on when Santana said those things, and her tongue moved quicker and deeper. She felt Santana's hips push forward and a second later, she was twitching uncontrollably and moaning out things like 'Holy fuck!' and 'Oh my god!' and a bunch of random Spanish. Brittany kept her mouth to Santana, letting her ride out her orgasm while Brittany enjoyed the taste of her best friend. She never thought she'd like it, but she couldn't help but moan when she could taste San on her lips. She slowly made her way back up to Santana's face, peppering her body with kisses the whole way. _

_Santana noticed that the fierce look on the face of the blonde was gone, only to be replaced by an even more devilish smile. The Latina could never deny that face, and to prove that point, she flipped Brittany onto her back and started working her over…_

_0o0o0o0o0o_

Santana had to will herself out of the memory and back to paying attention to driving. She couldn't think about the rest of that night; probably one of the best in her life. So instead, she focused on taking the right turns to bring her back to her house. She had wanted to talk to Brittany about what had happened at the party, but she knew that it wouldn't change anything. Brittany had made her choice, now all Santana could do was follow through on her word to stir clear of the blonde until she figured things out.

* * *

><p>Brittany had heard the door to the studio open and close, it had brought her from the moment she was having on the floor. Only a few people knew she was even here so it made her freak out a bit. She jumped up off the floor and ran to the door, barely taking the time to lock it before running to her car. She felt kind of dumb afterwards, knowing that it was probably just the wind that caught the door, but she couldn't shake the feeling that someone had been there. It made her shiver all the way back to her house and she knew a hot shower and her bed would be the only thing to calm her down.<p>

* * *

><p><strong>Monday<strong>

Britt got to school way too early, but her nightmare had woken her and she couldn't just cry herself back to sleep like she did the morning before. So instead, she roamed the halls of McKinley, walking passed the Cheerio's National trophy case, and not being able to suppress a small smile when she realized that two of those were because of her. She kept walking, glancing into empty classrooms, just enjoying the quiet. She passed the choir room, smiling to herself at all the good memories that had come from one little place. Even though she was proud of her Cheerio's success, she was more proud to be a part of Glee.

She started to notice more people gathering in the halls as she continued to walk. She knew it was getting close to school starting and she went to her locker to get her stuff. She was surprised when she saw Santana standing there, trying to look like she was getting something from her locker, but really just waiting. Brittany tried to control the thrumming in her chest as she moved closer to the Latina. _Jesus Britt, she's going to hear that! Breath, calm down. _She walked up, hoping the smile on her face didn't betray the way her heart was pounding against her ribs. Santana turned to smile back, both girls trying to stick to their agreement of being nice to each other, when it happened.

Brittany didn't even see it coming as Karofsky slammed a red slushy into Santana's face. She couldn't even think as she watched the shock play across the Latina's face, which was quickly replaced with rage, which was just as quickly replaced with embarrassment. She stared at Santana as the brunette tried to wipe the drink from her eyes, but it was no use. Santana looked up at her with a look of pure horror on her face as she spun and sprinted for the Cheerios locker room.

_Holy fuck it burns!_ Santana thought as she pushed open the locker room door. She'd never been slushied before, so this was all new to her. The way to red dye was sticking to her clothing, the way the ice felt like it had cut her face when he threw it at her; this was all foreign to her. _I'll never do this to anyone ever again. This is horrible. _She thought to herself, rubbing her eyes trying to get it to stop stinging. "Don't rub it, that just makes it worse." It was Brittany, which was the last person she wanted to talk to at this moment.

"Please Britt, just leave." The Latina said as she headed toward the sink in hopes of getting it out of her eyes.

"No." was the only reply and when she looked up in the mirror, trying to see through the red haze, she saw that Brittany was standing behind her with a very stubborn look on her face. Before Santana could say any more, Brittany was digging in one of their old lockers, grabbing a new shirt and some shampoo and walking it over to the counter. Santana turned back to look at her own reflection in the mirror and was surprised to see herself crying. She wasn't sure if it was the embarrassment of being slushied in front of the whole school or the way Brittany had refused to leave her, but there she was, crying for what had to have been the millionth time in two weeks.

* * *

><p>Brittany didn't say anything; she just reached for San's shoulders and turned her around. The Latina just stood there crying as Brittany reached for the bottom of her now red and black striped shirt and pulled it up over the brunette's head. Santana didn't protest, which Brittany took as a good sign, and walked willingly over to the shower so Brittany could rinse her hair out. Brittany pulled the pony tail from the brunette's hair and slowly ran the warm water over it, trying to get the sticky mess out before it got too difficult. Santana had her eyes closed, and it broke B's heart to know that she was intentionally trying not to look at her. She finished washing the Latina's hair, neither of them saying anything, and pulled her over to a bench to sit down.<p>

They sat down, straddling the bench facing each other, while Brittany ran a towel through Santana's hair. The silence was beginning to be too much, so B said the first thing that came to her mind, "That dye won't come out, so your shirt and bra is probably ruined…" Santana didn't say anything, she just nodded silently, biting on her lower lip and keeping her eyes closed the whole time, unwilling or unable to look at the blonde who was taking care of her.

Santana finally noticed that Brittany was no longer running a towel through her now clean hair. She took a deep breath and opened her eyes to find a pair of blue ones staring back at her. Brittany reached up and gently brushed some hair out of Santana's eyes and got up from the bench. She walked over to the counter and grabbed the t-shirt for the brunette, slowly pulling it over her head and pulling her arms through the sleeves.

The Latina had no fight left in her, but she really wanted to be alone for a minute. This was a new concept for her, because, even if she played it off like she was a hard ass, she really had never dealt with anything on her own before. She always had Brittany or Quinn's shoulders to cry on and she felt this was a big step in the whole 'finding herself' process. "B, I need you to go now please." After realizing it wasn't the right words, she started again. "Thank you though, for taking care of me. I'll be okay, I just need a minute…" She hadn't looked up because she didn't want to lose her nerve and beg the blonde to stay with her.

She felt Brittany move closer to her and felt the finger on her chin. She looked up and met the blue eyed gaze, feeling almost like she was being x-rayed by her friend. A moment later, Brittany must have seen what she was looking for, because she released the brunette's chin and turned to go. But before she could walk away, she leaned down and pressed a kiss to the top of the Latina's head. Santana had to squeeze her eyes shut and clamp her lips together to keep from telling the blonde to stay. She needed to do this for real; she needed to follow through.

So instead of calling out, she reached into her pocket and pulled out her phone, just wanting to zone out for a little while before facing the horde of hungry animals that were the students of McKinley High. _Fuckin' Karofsky. Asshole is on my shit list now. _She thought as she pressed the Pandora app on her phone. She slipped in her headphones and listened as one of her favorite songs of all time came pouring through; she had to smile because, as much as it could upset her, music could also make her so happy…

* * *

><p>Brittany walked around the row of lockers and headed for the door. She had almost made it when she heard Santana's voice float to her. It started low, almost like she was humming along to a song, but began to build as the song went on…<p>

_..There's so much craziness surrounding me,  
>..There's so much going on it gets hard to breath…<br>..When all my faith has gone, you bring it back to me,  
>..<em>You make it real for me…

..Well I'm not sure of my priorities,  
>..I've lost sight of where I'm meant to be…<br>..Like holy water washing over me,  
>..You make it real for me…<p>

..And I'm running to you baby,  
>..You are the only one who saves me…<br>..That's why I've been missing you lately,  
>..'Cause you make it real for me…<p>

Brittany peaked around the lockers and saw Santana sitting on the floor leaning against a locker, a small smile on her face while she sang the words to her favorite song. She hadn't heard Santana sing in a long time and it was nice to hear. She leaned her back against the locker, closed her eyes, and just listened…

_..When my head is strong, but my heart is weak,_  
><em>..I'm full of arrogance and uncertainty…<em>  
><em>..When I can't find the words, you teach my heart to speak,<em>  
><em>..You make it real for me…<em>

_..And I'm running to you baby,_  
><em>..You are the only one who saves me…<em>  
><em>..That's why I've been missing you lately,<em>  
><em>..'Cause you make it real for me…<em>

_..Everybody's talking in words I don't understand,_  
><em>..You got to be the only one, who knows just who I am…<em>  
><em>..And you're shining in the distance,<em>  
><em>..I hope I can make it through…<em>  
><em>..Cause the only place that I want to be is right back home with you…<em>

The blonde couldn't help but smile as the tears ran quietly down her face. She pushed away from the locker and wiped away the tears as she headed for the door. She stopped herself before leaving, listening to the last part of the song…

_..I guess there's so much more I have to learn,_  
><em>..But if you're here with me, I know which way to turn…<em>  
><em>..You always give me somewhere, somewhere I can run,<em>  
><em>..You make it real for me…<em>

_..And I'm running to you baby,_  
><em>..Cause you are the only one who saves me…<em>  
><em>..That's why I've been missing you lately,<em>  
><em>..'Cause you make it real for me…<em>  
><em>..Yes you do,<em>  
><em>..You make it real for me…<em>

* * *

><p>It was the next day in Glee when they had seen each other again. Santana was talking to Mr. Schue about the fundraiser, trying to skate over the slushy incident like it wasn't a big deal. Brittany hated to see her so guarded again and she noticed that San seemed a little harder today, more than usual at least. She wished she could let her guard down a little more, but Brittany also knew that this was almost impossible for the brunette to do and decided not to dwell on it.<p>

Mike was getting pissy about the academic team, but Brittany really didn't care. She just walked up with Artie because she knew they'd give her more Dots if she did. She had actually helped them win and it kind of hurt her feelings when Mr. Schue questioned why she was on the team. She looked at him for a second and when no one defended her, she couldn't help but look at her best friend for help. Santana was grinding her teeth together and had a look of violence in her eyes when Mr. Schue was talking. Brittany had to bite the inside of her cheek to keep from smiling when she saw that her best friend had wanted to come to her aid.

* * *

><p><em>I'm gonna punch him in his god damn mouth if he keeps talking.<em> Santana thought as Schuster continued to ask questions as to how Brittany was on the team. Puck's comment was funny about the Asian's and Artie's Glasses, but it didn't deter her from being pissed that everyone thought Brittany was dumb. She knew B wasn't stupid, she just had problems expressing herself a lot of the time. Hell, Santana had the girl practically screaming Spanish phrases in the bedroom (mostly because Santana used them and B wanted to know what she was always yelling), but still, she understood. They could sit and almost hold an entire conversation in Spanish, Santana only stopping when the look on B's faced turned to confusion.

It also had her thinking about some other things, like how she was gawking at the blonde for even being on the team in the first place. Had Santana known that B was joining, she would have stopped her and explained that it was social suicide. But also she was downright pissed that she had to hear about this from someone else. She always knew what the blonde was up to and it hurt her a little bit to not have that kind of information told to her by her best friend.

Santana pulled herself out of her musing when she heard them talking about selling more taffy. _Seriously, no one is gonna buy this shit. _She didn't want to be Ms. Negative Nancy, but there weren't that many kids in school and there was no way they were going to sell over 20,000 pieces of some crappy candy. She couldn't remember herself being so negative, like, ever in her life. Yea she was a bitch, but that's different; being negative is completely different from being extremely honest with someone about the size of their hands or the way they dressed like a child porn star.

She suddenly realized that, whenever she was away from Brittany, the negativity would always resurface. One time, at cheer camp, she was forced to be in a separate bunk as her best friend, and the whole weekend she was snapping at people and cutting people down (more than usual). She remembers how people would only come around her when Britt was there, probably because they knew that B would tell her to _stop _or to _be nice. _She never realized how whipped she had been by her best friend even before she realized she loved her. _Damn, I'm such a pussy. She seriously could control me and I didn't even realize it. _

* * *

><p>After Glee, the girls continued their, 'We'll be civil but we won't really talk' agreement, which Brittany was seriously regretting at this point. She couldn't help but stumble through the day and didn't really understand why Sunshine was there until she was dragged to the auditorium. <em>She's so short. <em>Brittany mused as Sunshine stood in front of them in the auditorium, asking to be a part of their fundraiser. _I wonder if she's one of Santa's elves. People keep saying she's a spy, maybe she's checking to see if we're being naughty or nice. _She glanced behind her at Santana, who looked like she was being extremely naughty because of the sour look on her face, and hoped that Sunshine wasn't an elf, just a really short person. She couldn't help turning to glance at Santana from time to time and finally she noticed that Sam was sitting nowhere near her. It surprised B because normally the Latina was attached to his arm these days; so to see them so far apart kind of made her wonder what was happening with them.

Brittany was brought back to reality when she heard Sunshine say something about 600 Twitter followers. Even though Britt didn't have a Twitter, she still knew that this was important and that she'd get more Dots if this girl brought all her friends to their benefit. They let her sing and she sounded awesome. The song was kind of depressing, but when she felt Artie's hand in hers, she knew she wasn't all by herself and that she had someone. As she turned to look at her best friend again, she couldn't help but notice that not everyone had someone to cling to.

* * *

><p><em>Yea, fuck this song.<em> Santana thought as Sunshine finished an extremely high and long note that would have brought the roof down on just about any venue. She looked down and saw Brittany holding hands with Artie, looking like the world's cutest couple. She looked to both sides of her and noticed that Sam was nowhere near her; he was sitting down a few rows next to Puck, and she felt her stomach squirm as she realized she hadn't talked to him since Saturday night.

She knew she needed to stop things with Sam; it wasn't fair to the boy and it wasn't fair to her. She also knew that if she was going to do this alone thing, she truly needed to be alone. Even though she wanted to be the one to break up with him, (to save face of course), she wasn't sure how she was going to do it without giving herself away. _Giving myself away? What? What does that mean Santana? What are you hiding? Ok, so you love your best friend, doesn't mean you're a full blown lezbo now… right? _

She couldn't stop the thoughts that were now creeping into her mind. She had tried to not think about these things; about the labels and the things that would be attached to her if she ever told anyone about her love for Brittany. She couldn't help but think about Kurt and all the shit he went through as the only openly gay person at school; how he was pushed out by some dumb jock who she hated even more after he slushied her. She didn't realize that it wasn't the slushy that made her hate him, it was his hate for all things different that had sent a chill of rage and fear down her spine.

* * *

><p><strong>Saturday<br>A Night of Neglect**

Santana couldn't help but stop in the hall way when she heard Brittany's voice. She was talking to someone, Kurt maybe?, and didn't want to run into the blonde. They had thoroughly ignored each other the whole week while the brunette continued to work through her revelations. She had spoken to Sam a little bit during the week, trying to make things ok between them, but he was distant and she knew her time with him was getting short. She wanted to have herself figured out before things ended with Sam, but she also knew that the only way to get it figured out was to be without him. She knew she wouldn't have her cover for much longer and she needed to work through things quicker.

She could hear the conversation between Kurofsky, Kurt, and Blaine before she could see them. She heard the words 'fairy dust' and she wanted to step out of the shadows and smack him. She started to make her way toward the group when the conversation got a little bit confusing.

"Would you just give it up? You can live whatever lie you want, but don't pretend that the three of us don't know what's really going on here." Blaine said. _What could be going on? Obviously Kurofsky hated them, but, that was nothing new? _

"You don't know squat butt boy!" Kurofsky yelled and he pushed Blaine back. She doesn't know what made her do it, but she was in between the two boys, telling them to stop and pushing the football player back. She was stopped short when Kurt started talking to the jock.

"Real brave with your fists, but you're a coward when it comes to the truth." He practically spat at the hulking football player.

"Truth about what?" Santana was extremely confused at this point, and the almost fearful look in Kurofsky's eyes made her even more intrigued.

"It's none of your business ." She really wanted to punch him now, but the comparison to did make her feel kind of smug. _Ha, I still got it, _She thought as she started inching closer to the taller boy. She could almost feel the hatred rolling off of him when she got closer, but she decided to ignore it and play the bitch card she always had in her back pocket.

"First of all, anything you do became my business when you decided to toss that slushy up in my grill." _And the fact that you would probably punch me if you knew I was a lesbian. _She continued in her mind. _Whoa, did I just think that?_

"I think I can take a couple of queers and a girl." The way he said it made her blood boil. She was about to go ape shit on this homophobe because she was not about to let him talk shit to her or to either of the guys behind her.

"Huh, ok, see here's what's gonna go down. Two choices. You stay here and I crack one of your nuts, right or left, that's your choice." She couldn't help but glance down at the boys' stomach, almost too grossed out to continue. "Or you walk away and live to be a douche bag another day. Oh, and also, I have razor blades hidden in my hair. Uh huh, tons, just all up in there!" She doesn't know what made her say the razor blades part, but she was Santana Lopez and there was no tellin' what she had hidden up in her weave.

"We could've handled that." Blaine said as she turned around to smirk at the two boys. She felt almost a rush of fear go through her as she realized she was sticking up for them because they were like her. Or, well, she was like them. She would be the outcast soon, she knew this. She knew that if it got out that she was a lesbian she would be in the same shoes as them; it made her feel extremely vulnerable but also extremely powerful in the same second when she came to this realization.

"It was more fun doing it together." She heard herself say, and she meant it. She knew that if she had friends like these guys, she would never have to worry about anything. She knew that the kids in Glee would try to protect her like they protected Kurt, and it made her feel better to know that even though she was a huge bitch to them, they would keep her safe and not judge her or any of the other shit she had been worried about.

**Buzz buzz**

"Oh Crap!" Santana sighed as she read the Twitter update and walked away from the boys and into the choir room. "This just in, according to Sunshine's twitter she's not coming and neither are any of her followers. " Everyone seemed really disappointed; even Brad the random piano man seemed kind of bummed. Santana on the other hand was kind of happy about it. She wasn't performing in this and now that she knew no one was coming, she would rather leave than hang out and perform for Kurt and Blaine. But then Finn said some crap about not giving up and of course Man-Hands had to back him up, so out Tina went. It wasn't but a few minutes later that she was back, crying hysterically about the mean people in the crowd.

* * *

><p>Brittany couldn't help but look up when she heard Santana's voice come into the room. She knew the brunette had said something important and everyone was looking sad, but Brittany couldn't think of anything when she saw the Latina in that red dress. <em>Holy shit she looks so hot right now. <em>The blonde had to tear her eyes away when she realized she was literally staring at her best friend's curvy body that was perfectly accented by the tight clothing. _Jesus Britt, focus on something else. Oh, hi Artie, you look sad, I'll look sad too. _She turned back to her boyfriend, hoping no one saw the small blush on her cheeks, but then she saw Quinn looking at her and she knew she had been caught. The look in Quinn's eyes had a _'it's ok to love her' _kind of look, and she couldn't help but give a smile and a _'I really want to' _look back…

* * *

><p><em>It's horrible, but I honestly could care less right now. <em>The Latina thought as she watched everyone trying to figure out their next step. Of course everyone agreed they needed to continue, and by the end of the night, Santana was glad she stayed; Ms. Holiday's version of Turning Tables was awesome and Mercedes brought down the house with Ain't No Way.

She still hadn't spoken to Brittany since the Slushy incident and for some reason she wanted to keep it that way. She didn't like being away from Brittany, but she knew that enough was enough. This fact seemed to be shoved in her face even more when she glanced over and saw Britt and Artie making kissy faces at one another. As soon as everyone realized that Rachel wasn't going to sing (_thank God),_ they decided to clear out and head home. It was a Saturday, and normally Santana would be all about going out, but tonight, she just wanted to be alone.

She was walking to her car when it hit her how ironic it all was. Sam was already in his car and driving away; he hadn't said anything to her the whole night and she knew that that relationship was over. It didn't bother her like she thought; she just knew she had to keep her true self a secret for a little longer. She saw Kurt with Mercedes and Blaine, and even Rachel walking with them. She saw Finn and Quinn talking by Q's car, probably discussing prom plans. Lauren was arm and arm with Puck, both of them trying to figure out their plans. The Brainiacs were all in a circle, all with their significant other, chatting about how excited they were for Detroit. Santana was alone. She was leaving a Night of Neglect feeling completely neglected by everyone; her boyfriend (if you could call him that) and the most important, her best friend/love of her life.

Santana had never felt like she needed anyone because she grew up being taught to be independent, but for the first time she was feeling that loneliness that would creep into her life every once and awhile. Normally she would just call B and she would understand and make the loneliness go away; but not tonight. Tonight Santana Lopez would have to deal with this on her own. The thought scared her as she got into her car. She had no real destination when she turned it on, but she knew that she needed to get out of there now before she either exploded with jealousy and rage or emotional crying. She caught the first part of the song and she cranked it as loud as she could. She saw Brittany look over as the music came out of the windows and she noticed she had an almost concerned/intrigued look about her.

Santana sat for a second, just staring back into those baby blues as the song started…

_..Little Carrie Ann what a beautiful girl…  
>..From the moment she was born…<br>..She was always perfect…  
>..Whole town said "Why can't you be more like her?"…<em>

.._Lights go on and she's ready to spin…_  
><em>..On stage doing all the things she's told to…<em>  
><em>..Puts on a show in front of the whole damn world…<em>

_..I pray to the heavens to try to save her soul…_  
><em>..Cause that sweet little angel is not the girl I know…<em>

_..She gets wound up…_  
><em>..She gets higher by the minute…<em>  
><em>..Turns the sound up…<em>  
><em>..To drown out all the pain…<em>  
><em>..They all think they know her…<em>  
><em>..But no one really knows…<em>  
><em>..That she goes a little crazy sometimes…<em>

She broke the stare first, knowing she needed to leave… Her lights from her car raked across the group of friends, Santana locking eyes with Brittany as she drove past…

_..She parks her car at the top of the hill…  
>..Only inches from the edge…<br>..Where she's almost falling…  
>..Stares at the sky till she's drowning in the rain…<em>

_..Nice dress, nice smile…_  
><em>..What a wonderful child…<em>  
><em>..If they only knew all the lies she's told them…<em>  
><em>..It's too complicated for her to explain…<em>

_..She prays to the heavens to try to save her soul…_  
><em>..Cause the sweet little angel is close to letting go…<em>

_..She gets wound up…  
>..She gets higher by the minute…<br>..Turns the sound up…  
>..To drown out all the pain…<br>..They all think they know her…  
>..But no one really knows…<br>..That she goes a little crazy sometimes…_

As she hit the road and left McKinley in the rearview, she couldn't help but really analyze her life for the first time, well, ever. She loved Brittany, so what does that make her? _Does it really matter? _She thought, and after only a second, she knew that it did…

_..I pray to the heavens to try to save her soul…  
>..Cause that sweet little angel is close to letting go…<em>

Santana glanced in the rearview, not expecting to see anything, but still looking. It was like she was looking for a piece of herself back there because at that moment, she started coming to the realization that she was a new person. Santana Mother-Fuckin' Lopez, Ms. Head Bitch in Charge, was completely and totally, 100% sure that not only was she gay, but that she was still head over heels in love with Brittany S. Pierce.

* * *

><p><strong>OOOOK! So I don't like this chapter at all… but, it did have some random good parts. After the Born This Way episode, I have a feeling that will be like a 2 or 3 part chapter, just because there were SO many different Santana scenes and then the part at the end… ugh, killed me! <strong>

**So anywho, there's another chapter for ya, sorry it was kind of a filler, but there was some stuff to flesh out with Santana, and that's why I did it! Holla for Born This Way chapter part 1 coming very soon!**

-Kat


	8. Chapter 8, Born This Way Part 1

**Hey guys! SO, how epic was the Born This Way episode? I'm loving the way they're exploring Santana, and all her internal monologue's were just hilarious. **

**And bear with me, there's so many thought bubbles for Santana, I was struggling to get it right. I tried to make them in **_**Italics**_** so hopefully it'll be easy to follow. **

**Since there was so much Santana time, this might be either an extremely long chapter or I'll break it up into two. I just have to be careful, because with the Glee writers throwing curve balls (like Quinn not moving to Lima till 8****th**** grade) I need to slow down a bit so I don't screw up the story! Anywho, that's it! **

**Disclaimer: Glee's not mine.. I wish…**

* * *

><p><strong>Chapter 8<br>Born this Way  
>Part 1<strong>

'_For one, Mr. Schue should never say the word's 'booty boot camp' ever again' _Santana thought as she went through the motions of the ridiculous dance moves she was being forced to do. She knew Finn sucked at dancing, hell, none of them were top dog dancers, well except for a select two, but this whole boot camp thing was not going to make Finn better. She was humoring herself by watching Finn dance when she saw his hand go back and smack Rachel in the face.

Santana tried as hard as possible to not laugh, but she seriously lost it when it happened. She knew in the back of her mind that she was being mean but if you could have seen the look on Rachel and Finn's faces when he did that, it was just priceless. She continued to chuckle as Rachel was led off stage and finally noticed that she was one of the only people left standing there.

'Hey' the blonde had said to her, but Santana couldn't do this. She wasn't trying to be mean because she could never intentionally hurt Brittany, but after the weekend the Latina had, staying away from the blonde was her only option. She whispered a small 'hi' and walked away, leaving the blonde on the stage and not looking back.

* * *

><p><em>I don't understand, I thought we had a deal? <em>Brittany thought as Santana walked away. She knew the Latina had been acting strange, purposefully ignoring Brittany as if she had the plague. She couldn't shake the fact that the Latina seemed to be pulling further away even though that was the exact opposite of what Brittany wanted. She knew she made a mistake, she knew she should just accept the fact that Santana couldn't give her everything she wanted, but she also knew she deserved more than a 'behind closed doors' relationship.

Brittany's musing was interrupted when Artie wheeled himself out onto the stage, a big smile playing on the corners of his lips. He came up and grabbed her hands, staring up at her like he was the luckiest guy in the world.

"I have a surprise for you." He said and Brittany couldn't help but get excited. Artie didn't do things like this often, but sometimes he really was the best boyfriend on Earth.

"It's not another comb is it?" Brittany joked, and he smiled and just shook his head. She heard him yell 'hit it!' and a few of his band mates came onto the stage and he pulled her into his lap. She sat there just smiling at him while the guitar solo started and he began to sing…

_..You're better than the best…  
>..I'm lucky just to linger in your life…<br>..Cooler than the flip-side of my pillow (that's right)…  
>..Completely unaware…<br>..Nothing can compare to where you send me…  
>..Let's me know that it's okay (yea, it's okay)…<br>..And the moments when my good times start to fade…_

_..You make me smile like the sun, fall outta bed…_  
><em>..Sing like a bird,<em>  
><em>..Dizzy in my head,<em>  
><em>..Spin like a record,<em>  
><em>..Crazy on a Sunday night…<em>  
><em>..You make me dance like fool,<em>  
><em>..Forget how to breathe,<em>  
><em>..Shine like gold,<em>  
><em>..Buzz like a bee,<em>  
><em>..Just the thought of you can drive me wild…<em>  
><em>..Oh, you make me smile…<em>

She couldn't help it when her smile got bigger; she loved it when he sang to her. He always knew how to make her happy, and for the first time in two weeks, she wasn't thinking about the Latina…

_..Even when you're gone…  
>..Somehow you come along just like a flower pokin' through the sidewalk crack…<br>..And just like that…  
>..You steal away the rain…<br>..And just like that…_

_..You make me smile like the sun, fall outta bed…_  
><em>..Sing like a bird,<em>  
><em>..Dizzy in my head,<em>  
><em>..Spin like a record,<em>  
><em>..Crazy on a Sunday night…<em>  
><em>..You make me dance like fool,<em>  
><em>..Forget how to breathe,<em>  
><em>..Shine like gold,<em>  
><em>..Buzz like a bee,<em>  
><em>..Just the thought of you can drive me wild…<em>  
><em>..Oh, you make me smile…<em>

Artie was spinning them around on stage, just lost in each other for what felt like the first time ever. Brittany couldn't help but feel the love she had for this boy grow, which wasn't something she was expecting, but it felt nice… 

_..Don't know how I lived without you…_  
><em>..'Cuz everytime that I get around you…<em>  
><em>..I see the best of me inside your eyes…<em>  
><em>..You make me smile…<em>  
><em>..You make me dance like fool, Forget how to breathe…<em>  
><em>..Shine like gold, Buzz like a bee…<em>  
><em>..Just the thought of you can drive me wild…<em>  
><em>..Oh, you make me smile…<em>

_..You make me smile like the sun, fall outta bed…_  
><em>..Sing like a bird,<em>  
><em>..Dizzy in my head,<em>  
><em>..Spin like a record,<em>  
><em>..Crazy on a Sunday night…<em>  
><em>..You make me dance like fool,<em>  
><em>..Forget how to breathe,<em>  
><em>..Shine like gold,<em>  
><em>..Buzz like a bee,<em>  
><em>..Just the thought of you can drive me wild…<em>  
><em>..Oh, you make me smile…<em>

_..Oh, you make me smile…_

The song faded and the couple just sat there, staring at one another but not wanting to break the comfortable silence that filled the auditorium after his performance. She could tell he had something he wanted to say, so she just waited.

'I love you B, and I just wanted to say thank you.' Artie said, their foreheads resting against one another's.

'For what?' She asked, tilting her head to the side. It kind of confused her since she should be thanking him for singing to her.

'Thank you for being with me, for making me happy, for giving me the chance to make you happy, just everything, thank you.' She had never had someone tell her that they relied on her as much as she did on them. In that moment she felt loved and needed, and it was a heady feeling.

It was the sweetest thing he had ever said to her, and when she leaned in and their lips met, she couldn't help but notice that for the first time, she felt a spark.

* * *

><p>Santana couldn't help but be completely intrigued by the nose job conversation. She had always thought that Rachel was pretty, regardless of the things she said to the girl, and the fact that she wanted to get a nose job kind of bothered the Latina. But, as she thought about it, (and thought about her own 'summer surgery'), she couldn't help but speak up. She didn't mean for the words to come tumbling out into such a long speech, but once her bitch filter came off, there was no putting it back on.<p>

"Hold up, could we all just get real here for a second? I hear that Rachel has a bit of a schnoz, I wouldn't know, because like Medusa, I try to avoid eye contact with her. But can we all just stop lying about how there aren't things that we wouldn't change about ourselves. I mean I'm sure that Sam's been at the doctor's office and riffled through pamphlets on mouth reduction. I bet Artie's thought about getting his legs removed since he's not really using them anyways. And I'm definitely sure that Tina has looked into getting an eye de-slanting."

_Whoa, ease up! Did you see the look B just gave you? Chill the fuck out for a second…_

She heard the racist comment from Tina and the filter she had just put on came right back off.

"Just keepin' it real." At this point she couldn't help but look at Brittany who was still staring at her with an expression that Santana couldn't quite place. It was almost like the blonde cared that she had just degraded her boyfriend and actually had a look like she wanted to jump down the Latina's throat for it. It confused Santana and she was barely listening to Finn bitch about his dancing.

Her frustration with Brittany and not being able to read her came boiling out of her and she changed her mind at the last minute and instead of yelling at the blonde, focused her ranting on Finn. She was quick on her feet when it came to come-back's, so she just started spitting the first hurtful thing she could think of at him.

"Oh please, you have weird puffy pyramid nipples. They look like they're filled with custard; you could dust them with powdered sugar and they could pass as some sort of dessert. Look, maybe Rachel's fine with having an enormous beak, maybe she needs it to crack hard seeds, all I'm saying is that if you look in the mirror and you don't like what you see, you should change it."

Santana finished her speech with a satisfied smirk and once again caught herself glancing at the blonde, who still had her eyes on the Latina with a look of rage burning behind the blue.

* * *

><p><em>Easy for a person to say when they're the ones hiding EVERYTHING from everyone. Jesus she can be such a heartless bitch sometimes. <em>Brittany thought as she turned back around in her seat, trying to wipe the shitty look off of her own face.

Brittany decided then and there that even though she loved the Latina more than the boy on her right, she knew that he was good for her. He would stick around when Santana would only run away when things got too serious for her. Brittany was going to stick things out with Artie and see where they went, because as of right now, the brunette was buried too deep in her own personal hell-of-a-closet to have anything real with the blonde.

Artie and Britt left glee, heading to their now shared locker before going to their next class. Artie was talking about New York City and how awesome it was going to be. End of their junior year, going to the big city, competing in Nationals, everything! He just kept talking and Brittany couldn't help but feel excited about the prospect of visiting a city she one day wanted to live in.

The blonde may not seem like she has it all together, but she's been doing her research. She knows that if she tried hard enough, she could go to school for dance and become a star. She didn't flaunt it around like Rachel did, but she wanted to be big one day. She wanted people to _want_ her as their main dancer in a music video or in a movie and she wanted people to _know_ who she was. So this trip to New York was a big deal, even bigger than just Nationals for Glee, it would hopefully help her decide if it was where she wanted to be a little over a year from now.

Brittany came back to the present and noticed Artie still talking, so she jumped right back into the conversation. "Babe", she said as she kneeled down in front of him, very non-discrete about how high her hands were traveling up his legs, even if he couldn't feel it, "we are seriously going to _tear up_ New York when we get there." She got up and started to push Artie down the hall, passing by Karofsky and throwing him a glare after she thought about what he'd done to San the week before.

She almost stopped walking when she realized how long she had gone without talking directly to the Latina. Not counting the moment on stage yesterday, they hadn't spoken since the slushy incident the week before. She felt her stomach squirm a little with the thought that maybe Santana was moving on; _I can't hold that against her, I pretty much told her to. _The blonde thought as she walked into English with Artie, _but damn it, that's not how I want this to be. I will talk to her. I will fix this before it's too broken. _

* * *

><p><em>These pictures of Quinn and Finn are horrible, I'm seriously making them look better. Ok, maybe I shouldn't do Quinn's, she's my friend and she's been nice since all this Brittany shit started but still, she's the competition…<em>

_I should be prom queen at this school. If I were prom queen I could get Brittany to drop the four eyed loser and go for the real queen. _

Santana couldn't help but watch as the blonde kneeled in front of her boyfriend, making gooey bedroom eyes and laughing at something he had said.

_She's so gullible, I could convince her that by royal decree I'd made her being with me the law of the land, but that's never gonna happen, I don't have the votes. _

Santana knew she would never make Brittany do anything she didn't want to do, but it was fun to dream right? She almost stopped her musing, knowing that she was just too big of a bitch to get people to vote for her, but, as always, Santana Lopez could make things happen..

_Unless, I could get the jock block. And God knows Sam doesn't have the heat at this school yet._

She and Sam were ok, but she knew that their relationship was over. They barely sat by each other, they never spoke, unless he said something weird like he _just_ did, and she'd never even been to his house. So, he was out for her candidate as running mate for prom queen and king.

_Hold on, there's someone at this school that just might have the juice, Dave Karofsky._

She watched as the crowds parted for Dave and she knew she had her man. She wasn't sure what she was going to do until she saw it; his eyes glanced straight at Sam's ass and he stared, just a little too long, before striding down the hall.

_Holy crap, I'm a closet lesbian and a judgmental bitch, which means one thing, I have awesome gay-dar. _

Santana was almost too shocked to process what she had just seen, but after the shock wore off, a plan started to form. The words beard, and blackmail, and prom queen, and Brittany, and gay and straight, and all kinds of other words started to play in her mind as she started scheming her way through her last period of the day.

* * *

><p><em>I wonder why San is sitting with all of them? She doesn't even like them… actually, I don't know that, she might have made new friends in the last two weeks. <em>Brittany was sitting on the other side of the Lima Bean and had almost choked when she saw the Latina come in with Kurt, Blaine, Mercedes and Tina. Artie just thought she took too big of a drink, but really she was just shocked to see Santana, here, with all of _them._

Brittany didn't like the feeling in her body that she was experiencing when she watched them all from across the room. She couldn't place it, but she knew it was something close to jealousy. She had never been jealous of anyone, but she was jealous of the kids that were now laughing with her best friend. She hadn't had the chance to hear Santana's laugh in a long time, so when it rang out through the coffee shop, she felt a pain in her chest and a shock shoot through her body.

She knew she couldn't sit and stare at the brunette anymore, so instead she started playing with her coffee. She was putting the whipped cream on her lips and then leaning across the table so Artie could kiss it off. It was a fun game, so she put it on his nose and reached across to lick it off. Artie gave her a wink and said under his breath, 'I know a better use for all this whipped cream' and Brittany blushed and had to laugh because even though the boy couldn't move his legs, everything else worked just fine.

* * *

><p>The Latina had been staring for an unknown amount of time; watching the whipped cream scene with mild interest only to become more interested when she saw the blonde blush at something Artie had said. She didn't like the blush because she knew that only two things could make the blonde turn red: either talking about feelings or making sexy talk, and thinking of the blonde having either of those types of conversations with Artie made her want to throw up.<p>

She tried to put herself back into the conversation at her table, and at the mention of Karofsky's name, she couldn't help but perk up.

"Wait? What did you just say?" She heard Blaine mention Kurt's safety, and in that moment, last week's night of neglect came back to her. _'Scared of the truth...' _was all she needed to remember. Karofsky had a secret, a big one, something that Kurt and Blaine knew and no one else; well, except for the brunette now of course. Karofsky was a deep closet gay, and she finally found her angle.

_That's it; Kurt's the trick to winning prom queen and getting Britt. Not to mention totally boosting our chances at nationals. If I could get Kurt back, I would be a hero, even Quinn and Finn would vote for me. And the key, Karofsky. _

She stood up with a very satisfied look on her face as she prepared to leave. "I've gotta gay, go! I've gotta go!" _Holy shit Santana! Get the Gay off the Brain for a bit! You are SUCH a dumb ass…_

She left the Lima Bean, planning to strategically walk passed the blonde but not say anything, hoping Brittany would understand that she was taking her advice of being 'alone' seriously. As she got closer, she noticed Artie was talking to the waitress and as she passed by the blonde, she felt a finger graze her hand…

* * *

><p>Brittany wasn't sure if she could handle another day without talking to Santana. The Latina was waltzing around school with a different type of attitude today; one that the blonde couldn't exactly pin point, and it made her worry that her plan for Santana to find her herself was starting to back fire. When Mr. Schue started telling them about their Acceptance Assignment for the week, Brittany's thoughts went quickly to the brunette. She knew that this was Santana's chance to really <em>really<em> try to come to terms with herself.

At first, the blonde wasn't sure if the Latina was full out gay, or bi, or if it was just the blonde that she was attracted to. She realized that even though she had been nagging Santana for weeks about this, she had never actually received an honest answer. It made her wonder if San even knew what she was or if she was just confused. In her heart of hearts, B knew that Santana was gay. She had been trying to _screw herself straight_ for the past three years and Britt could tell that it was taking its toll on the Latina, even if she tried not to show it…

0o0o0o0o0o

_**Buzz buzz**_

_Brittany rolled over on her bed and let out a groan before reaching for her phone. She glanced at the clock, 3:42 a.m., and had to groan again. She had a vague idea of who it would be at this hour, so it didn't surprise her to find a text from Santana. _

'_Roll over B –S' was all it said, so the blonde obeyed her phone and rolled to one side of her bed. A few seconds later, her window slid open and she watched as two tan arms pulled the rest of the Latina's body through the window. This had been a reoccurring event over the last few months; Santana would be half drunk and fully fucked before she climbed into bed to fall asleep next to her best friend. It didn't bother Brittany at first, she was just glad to see Santana and to have someone to cuddle with for the rest of the night. But once these nights became more frequent, they also got less appealing._

_Tonight was one of those unappealing nights. She watched as Santana stripped off her jeans and shirt, went to B's drawers and got some shorts, and then climbed into bed next to her. She could smell the alcohol on her breath and the sex in her hair before Santana even fully stretched out beside her. It made her stomach squirm to think that she probably had _him _all over her still. She wished Santana would have at least showered before coming over; sometimes she would be considerate like that, but tonight was not one of those nights. It was this night in particular that she noticed the look in the Latina's eyes after Brittany asked if she had been at Puck's house. _

_The brunette just nodded but didn't say anything and then Brittany saw it. She saw the revulsion flash very quickly across Santana's face, almost like she regretted sleeping with Puck, but by the time she noticed it, it was gone again. She wanted to ask, she wanted to know why Santana was sleeping with this boy who didn't mean anything to her just like she meant nothing to him. Why was she constantly trying to prove herself to everyone when she didn't need to anymore? She was top dog; head bitch at McKinley, she didn't need to screw Puck or anybody else to keep that position, it was already hers. _

_Britt wanted to ask, but she didn't. She knew Santana would say something about how staying on top was the most important thing and that it didn't matter, it was just sex. Usually on these nights, Brittany wouldn't sleep with the Latina. She would just grab the brunette and pull her into her arms and hold her until she fell asleep. She knew Santana was lonely and sex made her feel needed, but never before did Brittany see just how far she would go to keep up her image and her confidence. _

_Santana always thought that Brittany fell asleep before she did, but really, the blonde would stay up well after her just to watch her sleep. This night was the same, but also so different. Santana cuddled deeper into the blonde's body, trying to be as close as possible. Brittany could feel that the Latina's body was still too ridged to be asleep, and this was the first of many nights to come that Brittany had felt and heard Santana crying in her arms. This was the first night that Brittany realized that there was something going on inside of her best friend, something even she didn't know or understand… _

_0o0o0o0o0o0o _

She didn't like remembering those nights because she had to fake being asleep and she couldn't console her friend. She had tried once, but Santana played it off like she had something in her eye and she actually left the house instead of staying the night. Britt felt horrible for never asking Santana what was wrong; maybe if she had, this could have been sorted out sooner.

_Holy shit_ Brittany thought as Mr. Schue told them about doing 'Born This Way', _I've been sitting here telling Santana to figure herself out and hell, I don't even know what I am! Huh, I wonder what I am…._ Brittany had heard so many different ways to describe people who were trying to figure out their sexuality. Gay, straight, bi-sexual, etc, but one really stuck out in her mind; bi-curious. She figured that for the time being, this was a good way of putting it because the only girl she had ever been with was Santana.

_Bi-curious…_ the blonde mused as they all started preparing for their big number, _I guess I'll figure it out when the time comes…_

* * *

><p>"I knew you'd ask me out eventually, I'm kind of a duke stud at McKinley." Santana seriously almost threw up in her mouth a little bit when Dave said that to her.<p>

"Oh give it up, I know." _I wonder how long he'll deny this; ugh, I should have gotten a bigger coffee. _

"Know what?" He asked, a little shit grin on his face.

"That you're gay." She said it kind of loud and instantly regretted it; she wasn't trying to 'out' him to the world, but she did want to get her point across.

"What, who told you that?" _He's flippin' shit now… _

"No one had to tell me, first of all I saw you checkin' out Sam's ass the other day," _so really this is your fault, "_you know, you really need to be more careful with your leering." She couldn't help but talk to him like he was slow; he needed to understand all of this.

"I didn't, I was just seeing what jeans he was wearing." The Latina didn't even need to think of a comeback.

"Like that's any less gay." She needed to control herself, because normally she would be tearing this guy apart, but she knew for her plan to work, she needed the jock on her side.

"Second of all, I know about you and Kurt. Remember last week before the benefit, about you being worried about the 'truth getting out'. Guess what, it's out!" _Easy killer, you're losing him, rein it in, get him to understand…_

"Whatever they told you is a lie to mess with me, I'm gonna kick their asses!" _Great, he's pissed. _

"Ok you know what, why don't you just settle down and let Auntie Tana here tell you a little story." She reached across the table and grabbed his hand. _He's not pulling away, that's a good sign. _

"It's about you. You're what we call a late in life gay. You're gonna stay in the closet, get married, get drunk to have relations with your wife, have a couple kids, maybe become a state senator or a deacon and then get caught in the men's room tapping your foot with some page." _Harsh, but true. "_And you know what, I accept that about you."

Santana knew she had him hooked by her speech. She could see the resolve waver in his eyes when she told him that she accepted him; she was hoping he would be willing to do the same for her. She knew she would have to tell him the truth before this went too much further.

"Why are you doing this?" _The truth it is! _She thought sarcastically.

"Because I need you, and you need me," _Fuck it, just tell him. "_We play on the same team." _Holy shit I just told the biggest dick head in school that I'm gay. _This wasn't exactly how Santana wanted people to find out and she was hoping he would keep his mouth shut. But the look on his face was pretty priceless.

"Your…" _ugh, please don't say it. _

"Look I'm not ready to start eating jicama or get a flat top yet either, maybe in junior college." _Ha, a flat top... I'm seriously hilarious. _

"This is garbage, I'm not gay!" _And now you're pissing me off again._

"I'm trying to help you out here." _I guess I understand why he's fighting this, because I would have too, but still, get over it man, you're out._

"Have you ever heard of the term 'beards'? It's when a gay man and woman date each other to hide the fact that they're gay, like the Roosevelts. So you and I are going to be each other's beards, and then were going to win prom king and queen and rule the school." _And I'm gonna get my boo! _She finished in her head.

"And what if I say no?" _Yea freaking right dumb ass. _

"Then I'm gonna tell everyone about you and your life will be over." _Ok, not really, because then you'd 'out' me and I'd be in some shit._ "The only straight I am is straight up bitch… You in or not?" _I totally rehearsed that last part, good right?_

* * *

><p><em>I wonder what people would do if I just stood up and punched him right in his face. <em>Brittany was fuming when Karofsky was standing in front of them. She hated this guy more than any person in the world, she hated him for being one of the reasons Santana wasn't open about herself because she was too scared of what this guy would do and say to her. She hated him for throwing that slushy in Santana's face and making it even harder for her to come to terms with her sexuality. She even hated him for what he did to Kurt, even though that was on a lesser scale compared to terrifying her best friend.

She heard Karofsky say Santana's name and she couldn't help but feel completely confused by what he was saying. She heard him say something about Santana showing him the light, or something, and she couldn't believe that they had even talked, let alone hung out long enough for San to show him something. Quinn made a comment about it all and Britt knew she wasn't trying to be mean, she was just as confused about it as everyone else was. It wasn't until Santana started talking that the pieces began to fall together.

"This glee club is not complete, not without Kurt." Santana said, and Britt couldn't help but turn around and look at her, almost as if her body was drawn to the sound of her voice. She started to step down from her seat and she placed a hand on the blonde's shoulder, mostly to steady herself, but it still sent a shiver up Brittany's spine to have Santana willingly touch her again

"So I've taken it upon myself to try to rehabilitate Dave to see if maybe Kurt would consider coming back, help us win nationals. I did this for us." Brittany was impressed. Maybe her helping Karofsky be a better person will help her with her stuff too. She felt a twinge of jealously knowing that the two had been spending time together, but it made her feel better to know that maybe San was figuring things out.

"And then something funny happened, something called love." Brittany froze. _No, no, no, No, NO! _She practically screamed in her head. She was so disgusted with what she was seeing that she tried to look everywhere but at the Latina. She didn't want to see the heels and the tan legs that went up to the short pink skirt and the white blazer and that beautiful face and those brown eyes. She didn't want to see his hand in hers and them smiling at each other. She didn't want to see him putting his arm around her while they spoke about their new club. She didn't want to see any of it, but she did anyway.

She saw the way Santana was looking at Karofsky, it wasn't genuine, she knew that, but she felt like she had been punched in the stomach anyway. She couldn't help but chance a look at Sam who seemed extremely uncomfortable all of a sudden and Brittany realized that it was news to him that Santana was now dating another guy. Brittany wanted to stand up and scream at the Latina to stop doing this and to just tell everyone the truth, but she knew she couldn't. She couldn't make Santana be someone she wasn't ready to be. She couldn't run to the front of the class and grab the Latina by the shoulders and beg her to stop doing this. She wanted to, but she couldn't.

All she could do was sit there and hold Artie's hand and appear shocked, when all she really wanted to do was crawl into a hole and die. She took one final look at the Latina and happened to catch her eye. Santana was smiling, almost like she was winning at some little game, but it faltered a tiny bit when she saw Brittany looking at her. Brittany couldn't help but open her mouth to say something, but she stopped herself and closed it again. She knew her face was probably something to be seen, but in that moment, all she could think about was how quickly she was losing the battle of wills with the girl standing in front of her.

She couldn't sit there any longer and watch as this bullshit of a relationship fell together in front of her. She grabbed her bag and left the room; trying not to seem angry, but still not explaining herself as she left. She knew someone had followed her because she could hear it, her pulse quickened as a _click click click _followed her down the hall and into the gym. She could hear the way the heels sped up as she headed to the far exit door that led out to the football field. She could feel the hand that clamped down on her elbow and spun her around. She could feel the eyes boring into her but she didn't have the strength to look up into them. She just stood there, eyes on her shoes and noticing the pair of pumps and the tan legs that were in front of her. She felt the finger under her chin and she swallowed hard before looking up.

_Why couldn't you just let me go? _It was all the blonde could think as she stared into the brown eyes that have been ignoring her for the last week. Santana didn't need to hear the words to know what Brittany's thoughts were. She knew she was hurting the blonde repeatedly and the look in those blue eyes told her so. Brittany took a step back so Santana's finger would leave her chin, she just couldn't have the brunette touching her right now, but she didn't break the stare. They looked at each other for another long moment before Santana broke the silence.

"Look, I'm not going to apologize for what I'm doing. I'm trying here Britt, I really am, but I don't think you understand how hard this is. Like, how really _really_ hard this is for me." Brittany was tired of these types of apologies, tired of hearing the word _try_ come out of the Latina's mouth. She continued to back away, just shaking her head back and forth as she did. She wasn't really sure why she was shaking her head, but the words 'you told me you loved me' and 'you lied when you said you would work on you' kept playing over and over in her head. She finally reached her destination, the door, and without another backwards glance, she ran to the football field.

She hid under the bleachers for the rest of the day, not wanting to go home but also not wanting to be in school or in her car or anywhere else where the thoughts of the Latina could creep in. After a couple of hours of just staring off into space, she noticed her backpack was still on her back. She pulled it off and grabbed her phone; she had two missed calls and three texts from Artie and one text from Quinn. She didn't bother reading them; she just flipped on Pandora and fell asleep in the grass.

It was starting to get dark outside when she woke up. It kind of freaked her out that she had stayed there that long, but she was completely comfortable and was also feeling way too warm for being surrounded by early spring air. That's when she realized she wasn't totally laying on the ground. Her head was in someone's lap, fingers running softly through her hair, and she was covered up with something. She hadn't opened her eyes yet, but she heard the voice singing, she felt the hot skin underneath her, and she knew who was there. She didn't think the Latina knew she was awake, so instead she just laid there and listened…

_..You'd be surprised, at all that I've become…  
>..You'd be surprised, I've changed while you've been gone…<br>..And I've learned so much more from you than I could ever say….  
>..If you were here, I think that you'd stay...<em>

_..You'd be surprised, how far these arms can reach…  
>..You'd be surprised, there's a promise I can keep…<br>..Would you believe that I seldom fall to pieces anymore?  
>..If you were here, you'd like what you saw….<em>

_..You'd be surprised, if you were here...  
>..We'd make up time, for all that's disappeared…<br>..And I'd hold you like I never could…_

She could feel the Latina's hands grazing her face, running the length of her jaw and back, making small patterns. She felt the tear hit her face from above her and she felt the Latina's lips as she kissed the memory of the tear away…

_..You'd be surprised, my life is often sweet…  
>..You'd be surprised, it's you who brings me peace...<br>..And for some unearthly reason it takes losing you to see…  
>..If you were here, I'd know just what you'd need….<em>

_..You'd be surprised, I've loved you all along…_  
><em>..You'd be surprised, I now confess when I am wrong…<em>  
><em>..And I see the world around me in a slightly softer shade…<em>  
><em>..If you were here, you wouldn't walk away...<em>

_..You'd be surprised, if you were here...  
>..We'd make up time, for all that's disappeared…<br>..And I'd hold you like I never could…_

Brittany slowly lifted herself up so she was cuddled into Santana's neck, arms around her waist, eyes still closed, just feeling the Latina in her arms again… She felt familiar arms wrap around her as the song came to an end…

_..You'd be surprised, if you were here...  
>..We'd make it right; there'd be no tears…<br>..And you'd confide in me and I'd be there…  
>..I'd be there...<em>

_..You'd be surprised at all that I've become..._

_..You'd be surprised…  
>..I've loved you all along… <em>

* * *

><p><strong><em>:) <em>**

**Can I just say that I love this chapter more than most? We still got some big stuff ahead, I have BIG plans for these two in Part two of Born This Way! I really hope the angsty stuff gets over soon, because I'm ready to give them some fluff! Lol Anywho, I hope you guys liked it! Part 2 will be coming soon!**

**Also, I have to give a shout out to a few people! First is to HeyaLove, BlueSkkies, and musiqnilla18, thank you guys sooo much for the reviews! You all have been giving me the hope that SOMEONE is reading this and enjoying it, which makes me want to write! So thank you! Also to Kamification, I'm glad you enjoyed it! Thanks for the long review and I'm glad you like my music choices. I'm trying to find songs that fit but also just songs that move the story along. I hope the playlist makes for some good listening by the end of this story!**

**Songs in here, Artie sang 'Smile' by Uncle Cracker and the last one, that San was singing to Britt, is called 'You'd be Surprised' by Idina Menzel **


	9. Chapter 9, Born This Way Part 2

**I had to wait and see how Rumor's ended before I could finish this chapter! I didn't want to do/say anything that screwed up the story! I had fun with this one though… it's getting harder to write because I know it's going to over so soon… but, that's just how it goes I guess!**

**As for Rumor's, I'm not very happy with it. I loved watching San sing 'Songbird' to Britt because it was so damn cute, but hells freakin bells, how long do we have to deal with them *cough Santana cough* trying to figure themselves out! ;) And honestly, I could have punched Artie in his stupid mouth. **

**Oh well, there's my freak out moment of the week. **

* * *

><p><strong>Chapter 9<br>Born This Way Part 2**

Santana wasn't sure what made her watch Brittany after she had left the gym. She could tell the girl wanted to be left alone, but seeing just how much it hurt the blonde to see her with Karofsky, she just had to be sure she was ok. So Santana sat on the gym steps, just watching Brittany sit under the bleachers and stare off into space. She saw her lay down in the grass, and after the blonde hadn't moved for a long time, Santana decided to go see if she'd fallen asleep. _Leave it to Britt to fall asleep outside and not even think twice about it. _She sighed as she reached the slumbering beauty.

It made Santana's stomach flip over when she stared down at the girl; this girl that she loved who couldn't fully love her back. Her blonde hair was spread across the ground, fanned out behind her and she was curled in on herself like she was cold. Brittany normally slept pretty soundly and it bothered the brunette to hear her mumbling in her sleep and twitching uncontrollably. _Seriously, she doesn't want to be around you right now… what are you doing? _She disregarded her thoughts and started taking off her blazer, just laying it over the sleeping girl; she instantly saw Brittany's body relax beneath the white coat. She was still mumbling but she wasn't so tense anymore.

San could hear B's words in her mind as she sat down by the blonde's head, pulling it into her lap and running her hand through the corn silk colored locks; _'I always sleep better next to you San, you're like my own personal living stuffed animal.' _Santana snorted at the memory, laughing at how innocent things seemed only a few months ago…

She could hear music coming from Britt's phone and grabbed it to turn it off; _her battery will die and I have no idea if someone is reminding her to plug it in at night like I used to…_ She took a deep breath when thoughts of their past friendship came to her. She missed the blonde more than she realized. All of her planning and scheming to be prom queen had distracted her for only short moments in this long week; all other thoughts were of the girl sleeping at her side.

After staring at Brittany for a long time, she had the urge to lean down and kiss her awake, but she knew she couldn't do that. She knew her lips no longer belonged anywhere on the other girls' body; they had no right and no claim on Brittany. She felt the knot in her stomach grow and it took everything in her to not get up and leave. Even though things were difficult between the two of them, Santana knew in her heart that they were destined to be best friends forever, and everything else would just have to work itself out in due time.

So she stayed, just sitting while the blonde slept, humming songs to herself and to her best friend, hoping the sound of her voice will chase away any bad dreams she could be having. She watched as everyone left school, she watched as the sun crept slowly to the west, making the breeze seem a little bit cooler. She had been thinking a lot while she sat there. Thinking about how different life would be right now if she had told Brittany how she felt months ago, instead of waiting for a random moment at their lockers. She thought about how long it had been since she had _really_ touched the blonde, _only a couple weeks, but still, that's a long time for us… _she thought about how much she had changed in the course of a week and how her best friend didn't know about any of it. She didn't know that Santana had come to terms with her sexuality; that she was actually out of the closet to Karofsky, even though that whole situation was strange.

The Latina couldn't help but wish things could be better between them, because even if she couldn't have Brittany as a lover, she needed her as a friend. She needed someone to tell all of this to. She needed someone to know that some days she felt like a terrible person for being gay and some days she felt amazing for it. She needed someone to talk to; she needed her person, she needed Brittany.

All of these thoughts brought tears to her eyes, but they were silent, just falling down her face and into the blonde hair in her lap. She started to sing a song that randomly came to mind, hoping to stop the pain in her chest that was pulling her under. When she started singing, she felt Brittany wake up, she knew the blonde was trying to act like she was still sleeping, but her breathing was all wrong. Santana knew Brittany like the back of her hand and she knew she was listening, but it was ok, she just kept singing and the tears kept falling. One of them hit the blonde's cheek and Santana quickly leaned down and kissed the tear away.

Brittany began to move, slowly and cautiously, to sit in Santana's lap and nuzzle into her neck. It only made her want to cry harder knowing that B was nervous to be near her, nervous to touch her, when it used to be so easy. She finished the song and the silence between the two girls was deafening. Brittany just breathed in and out slowly while Santana tried to pull herself together. They sat there, blonde and brunette, both holding on to the one thing they both knew they couldn't live without.

* * *

><p><em>I just want to stay under here forever…<em> the blonde thought as she breathed in yet another lungful of her friend's scent. They sat there for what seemed like forever; the street lamps were on and it was very dark under the bleachers, but neither girl had moved much since Brittany had woken up. Santana still had her arms around the blonde and every now and then she could feel lips press themselves to her hair and temple; it wasn't sexual, just comforting. Both girls had missed each other so much over the past two weeks and finally being able to just hold on for a little while was nice.

Brittany caught herself staring at the brunette's neck and she wanted so badly to place small kisses under her chin and jaw, to let San know that she missed her just as much, but she couldn't. It was those sweet lady kisses that they had perfected over the years that she yearned to give to her friend, but she knew she needed to control herself. She was still angry at Santana for what was going on with Dave and they still needed to talk about all of that before anything else could happen. She knew Santana would try to skip the conversation, but she was hoping that just maybe they could finally have the talk she had wanted to have with the brunette for weeks.

"San, I've missed you." Brittany spoke the words softly, not wanting to break the magic that seemed to be floating around them but also feeling the need to say the words.

"I've missed you more." She could hear a smile in Santana's voice when she replied, but B wasn't going to play their little game right now, she had to keep control of the conversation. She was going to try to ease into her next question, but she knew that sometimes too much talking was a bad thing, so she dove right in.

"Santana, are you gay?" She felt the brunette's arms loosen from around her body almost instantly. She felt the sharp intake of breath and the shutter that ran through Santana's body. She hugged the brunette tighter; she wasn't going to let Santana get away from her. She refused to let the brunette leave this conversation, she wanted the answer.

"Does it matter Britt?" _Typical, trying to turn the conversation to me. _

"It does to me. You're my best friend, I think I have a right to know these types of things about you." She knew the answer, but she wanted to hear her say it. She felt like maybe if Santana said it out loud to her then maybe she wouldn't be doing the things she was; like dating Dave or being a bitch. She could tell San needed more encouragement, so she went on. "I don't want you to be forced into it, that's not what I want; I want you to _want_ to tell me. I want you to know that I don't care about any of it, I just want you to be honest with me. Please San, just answer the question."

Santana took a deep breath and wrapped her arms back around Brittany, which B took as a good sign that she was going to get her answer. They sat there for a moment, her head still cuddled into Santana's neck and she could faintly hear the thrum of the brunette's heart as it beat hard against her ear. She was so enthralled by the sound of it that she almost missed the whispered response, "Yea B, I'm gay..."

She pulled away and looked at Santana for the first time since the scene in the gym. Her cheeks had a faint blush to them and her eyes burned with something that Britt couldn't place; fear maybe? Embarrassment? But she also saw a flicker of something else; a flicker that told her that Santana's biggest fear was losing Brittany because of this confession.

She saw Santana's eyes moving back and forth between hers, just waiting on the blonde to say something, anything. They sat there for what felt like an eternity before San whispered, "B, please say something. Please tell me something so I don't feel like such a bad person. Please tell me that it's ok and that I'm ok and that we're ok." She was sobbing at this point, trying very hard to keep it together but the tears were flowing freely down her face as she stared at her best friend.

Brittany was completely bewildered by what Santana had just said. She couldn't believe that she was worried about how B would feel about her after she came out. Brittany realized this after watching San pretty much fall apart in her arms. This was the first time the blonde really got to see how hard this was for her best friend. How hard it was to admit something like that, and obviously some of her thoughts were negative about the whole situation. _Oh my god…_ Brittany thought as she stared at Santana, _she thinks I'm gonna leave her… Jesus, doesn't she know how much I love her and that I could never do that?_

Brittany grabbed her face with both hands and waited until Santana looked up at her. _She actually looks kind of scared…_ she thought, and all the words she was going to say to make Santana feel better fell silent on her tongue and all that came out was a simple "Thank you." She stared for a second longer before leaning in and kissing Santana for the first time in almost two weeks. It started slow, she was only going to give her a peck, but when their lips met, the heat from it made her insides explode. She had felt a spark when she kissed Artie, but this, this was like a 4th of July fireworks show going off in her body.

The kiss started to get deeper, both girls giving in to what their bodies had been missing for so long. Brittany felt how hesitant Santana was being with the kiss, not initiating anything and only finally opening her mouth to deepen the kiss more when Brittany bit her lip for access. She felt Santana's hands on her hips, rubbing up and down her sides, and it just felt right. It felt right when Santana's hands danced up her back and into her hair and pulled on it gently causing a moan to escape her throat. They were both sitting up on their knees now, bodies pressed close enough together to be called one person; just kissing and touching and _feeling_ each other.

Brittany realized how different, but still familiar, this whole thing felt. Santana was different. There were tears still running down her face but she didn't think they were tears of sadness, but of relief and happiness. She could _feel_ the relief pouring out from her best friend and it made her heart soar to know that she had finally found the girl that had been trapped inside of the Latina for so long.

* * *

><p>Santana had to come up for air; this kiss was so intense it felt like it was sucking the oxygen from her lungs. She broke away from Britt, who in turn started peppering kisses down her jaw and onto her neck and shoulder, and took a huge gulp of air. Her hands were still tangled in blonde hair and once she caught her breath, she also got her head on straight. She pulled Brittany from her neck and just looked at her, <em>holy fuck I've missed seeing that look in your eyes…<em> she thought as she took in B's 'Fierce Face'. She wanted to give in, she wanted the blonde to ravish her, but she couldn't.

The blonde leaned in for another kiss, her hands traveling dangerously high up Santana's legs, _ugh, this skirt isn't helping me focus right now!,_ she thought as she remembered she needed to stop this. "Brittz, we gotta stop." She doesn't think she had ever stopped Brittany from touching her; but feeling the soft hands on her thighs and the way she was kissing her was not helping her concentration. Brittany's mouth puckered a little and she saw her brow furrow and she knew she had never seen anything more adorable in her entire life. _Again, Santana, STOP. _She had to give herself a mental check into the boards to make her quit thinking about the things that could happen right now, under these bleachers, away from prying eyes.

Instead, she grabbed the blonde's hands from her thighs and gripped them tightly with her own. Both she and the blonde were staring at their entwined fingers and San couldn't help but wish this was happening all the time. In the halls, in class, in their houses, when they went to sleep at night; she wanted it all, but she was also terrified of it at the same time. Brittany seemed to understand and she squeezed the brunette's hand, causing them both to look up at one another. A small smile was playing on Brittany's lips and finally a huge grin spread across her face; the smile literally took Santana's breath away, it was like the sun rising or something, just too beautiful.

Brittany playfully got to her feet, pulling Santana with her and leaned in for another quick kiss before saying, 'I missed you more' and pulling them both to the parking lot. They walked slowly, hands still linked, as they made their way to their cars. They stopped at Brittany's and she knew the blonde had something she wanted to say because she leaned against the door, not pulling out her keys or anything. So they stood there, Brittany still holding both of her hands in front of her, and she waited. Finally B looked up and just started to spill.

"It killed me to see you with Karofsky, especially after all the mean things he has done to you, and Kurt, and everyone else in Glee and in school. So I guess I don't understand why you're with him when you had Sam in the first place, which was wrong San, you shouldn't have done that to him." She stopped for a second to see if the Latina was going to argue, but when Santana couldn't even locate her voice, she continued.

"You just admitted to me that it's obviously not Dave that you want, or any other boy for that matter." Santana felt her cheeks and neck turn red hot at the words, but Brittany just kept talking, "And I know who you want because you told me and I want to be selfish and tell you to wait for me but I know I can't ask you to do that so it's not right for me to tell you that you shouldn't be with Dave but I don't think you should be. I don't care if you did it 'for the greater good' of the team or whatever but I know you don't love him. I know you don't and if you try to tell me different I will knock you out so don't try." The last part was said in a teasing tone but Santana knew she didn't have to pretend anymore with the blonde so she let it go.

* * *

><p>Santana didn't have a comeback for any of Brittany's tirade, so instead she just stood there, looking around and trying to think of a way of explain it all to her best friend. When words failed her, she just looked up into those baby blues and hoped Brittany would understand. Hoped she could see how scared she still was about her new revelations but also how far the brunette had come in her journey of figuring herself out. Like she could read her mind, Brittany laughed a little and mumbled something of an apology for ranting and started digging for her keys.<p>

It hurt her to see Britt apologizing when everything the blonde said was spot on. Santana put a finger over B's lips and started her own apology. She apologized for being so distant and for hurting her, for everything she had said and did, not just in the last couple of weeks, but in the last few years of their friendship. She told her that she still had a lot to work through and that this was all so new to her still and that Karofsky didn't mean anything to her, but she still needed him. She didn't mean to say that, because it would obviously de-rail her already slippery plan of getting Brittany for good, but after the afternoon she had had, she didn't really care anymore.

* * *

><p>Britt didn't understand the last part but decided to let it go for the time being. They both had had a very crazy day with one another and all this extra stuff was just putting her mind into overdrive. She decided not to comment on the whole Karofsky relationship anymore tonight, knowing that it would get her nowhere. So instead she accepted the brunette's apology without any more hesitations; she knew she would always accept and forgive Santana, regardless of the situation.<p>

She decided it was time to go home, knowing that her family and Artie were probably freaking out since she had been gone so long. She looked at her phone and noticed it was almost 8p.m., not late, but still, school got out at 3. She opened the door and prepared to climb into the driver seat when she felt Santana's hand on her waist and she turned to see that the brunette was inches from her face. She was about to lean in when her best friend whispered 'thank you' and she felt her lips ghost the corner of her mouth. Her eyes closed out of habit and when she opened them, Santana was walking across the lot and climbing into her car.

The blonde had to smile as she got in and headed toward home. She knew that she had her friend back, even if there were still things that were bugging her about it all. She didn't like the Dave thing still, but decided that it wasn't her life and Santana still needed to figure that out on her own. She started thinking about the afternoon and how things between them seemed to be ok again, and for that she was thankful. She had truly missed Santana and even if they weren't locking pinkies every moment of the day, she was grateful that they would be able to be around each other again without so much tension and hostility.

The whole way home Brittany couldn't help but be excited about all the possibilities of tomorrow: Kurt coming back was exciting, but thinking about having her best friend back made her giddy. She bounced into her house and saw her mom in the kitchen, washing up dinner dishes and looking a bit worried until she saw Brittany running at her. Marcia cried out to her husband that Brittany was home and she about collapsed under the weight of Brittany's tackle like hug. She kissed her daughter's temple and Brittany beamed at her, gave her a small 'Sorry, I was with San', and her mother could feel the happiness radiating from the young blonde in front of her.

She was scolded for not calling but it couldn't put a damper on her good mood. She got ready for bed before realizing she had yet to call Artie back. She knew he was probably worried so she decided to give him a quick call before going to sleep. She grabbed her phone and read the texts she had from both him and Quinn.

_Hey, are you ok? You looked pissed, I know why of course, but if you need anything, let me know ok? Love you B! xoxo-Q_

She smiled when she thought of her blonde friend who, even with the whole Lauren running for prom queen thing to worry about, still had time to check on her. She sent her a quick reassuring message telling her that she and San had talked and things were looking better. The blonde then started flipping through the texts from Artie and saw that there were more there than she thought; more must have been sent after she had last checked her phone earlier in the afternoon.

_Hey, where you goin' boo? _

_Hellloooo? You just kind of left without saying bye? You ok?_

_Do you know where Santana is? Is she with you? Cause she followed you out and Sam is on the rampage right now and I would warn her to not come back in here for a bit! Did you know she was dating Dave?_

_Britttttttttttany? What in the hell are you doing? Did you forget to turn your phone on or something?_

_Ok, now I'm getting worried. It's been 5 hours B, text me or something! _

The first few were cute; it made her smile to know that Artie was not only worried about her, but also that he was offering a small gesture to Santana. She knew she owed him a phone call after the hell he probably went through after she left the room and he had to deal with Sam and the rest of them asking questions. She got to the last text and the smile vanished just as quickly as it had formed.

_Look, if you don't want to talk to me just tell me, don't just run off with Santana. She hasn't exactly been best friend material lately, so how about you do YOUR BOYFRIEND a favor and let him know you're alive or something. _

She was going to call him, but the way he wrote that last message made her so mad. He knew she was having issues with her best friend, _good thing he doesn't know the extent of it!_, and she wished he would have just let it go. So, instead of calling him she decided to just send him a text before crawling into bed. Most of it was a lie, but she didn't think he'd appreciate an honest text about how she'd actually spent her afternoon.

_Hey, sorry, I'm fine. I just wasn't feeling good and thought I was gonna throw up so I left. (__**not a total lie, **_**she thought.) **_My phone has been in my car all night, and for the record, I didn't know about Dave until you all did. 'nite-B_

Too soon after she sent that text, her phone beeped and she looked at the LCD screen and smiled.

_Don't forget to plug your phone in. –S_

She reached for her charger and plugged in the device, laying it on her bedside table. She reached for her body pillow and wrapped herself around it, smiling slightly to herself before falling asleep.

* * *

><p>It was a seriously sunny day in Lima, Ohio. Like the kind of day where you feel like a complete dumb ass for not wearing sun glasses. Santana wished she had thought of that before coming outside, but she was already here, along with everyone else in the club, just like she was told to be. She looked over and saw Brittany standing above Artie on the concrete seating area and noticed the small amount of tension between the two. She felt a little smug when she noticed it, but didn't have a lot of time to dwell on it before Mercedes broke into her concentration.<p>

"It's noon, and you know what that means?" Santana knew what she meant; Dave had spoke to Kurt and then relayed to her that he talked the boy into coming back. Santana was genuinely happy that he was back, knowing that not only would Glee be better, but it would make things easier on her if there was someone else at the school that was like her.

Even though she knew for a long time that she was gay, it's different when you actually admit it to yourself. She was still worried that even two people knew her secret, so having Kurt back was a relief, knowing that he could help her if she needed him.

Kurt appeared at the top of the quad and yelled for everyone to hear. "My transfer! Kurt Hummel is back at McKinley!" The whole Glee club started clapping and Santana felt like a freaking hero for getting him to come back, even under the circumstances of blackmailing someone.

She turned to look at her best friend and found her looking at her; they both shared a small smile that was interrupted by Blaine talking at the top of the stairs. _What the hell is he doing here? I swear to God if he's here to get Kurt to go back to Dalton I will beat his ass!_ She then realized it was actually a goodbye after registering what Mercedes had said and turn to watch as the rest of the Warbler's invaded their campus.

When Blaine started to sing, she thought her heart had stopped beating. This was the song she and Britt had listened to a thousand times after watching He's Just Not That Into You. They loved it and Brittany always said it reminded her of Santana. When San had asked why, Brittany simply answered, "Because the only time you will ever really talk to me, like really talk, we have to be hiding somewhere…"

_..I walked across an empty land…  
>..I knew the pathway like the back of my hand…<br>..I felt the earth beneath my feet…  
>..Sat by the river and it made me complete…<em>

_..Oh simple thing, where have you gone?..._  
><em>..I'm getting old and I need something to rely on…<em>  
><em>..So tell me when, you're gonna let me in…<em>  
><em>..I'm getting tired and I need somewhere to begin…<em>

Santana couldn't do anything but stare at Blaine from the bottom of the steps. She felt like she was in some sort of a bad dream and wished she had chosen to skip this little moment of welcoming Kurt back. The words were too honest, too true in her ears and thoughts of the day before came back to her. They hid, under the bleachers, and that's where she confessed to Brittany about being gay. She whispered that day at their lockers when she had professed her love to her best friend. She hissed every time B tried to bring anything up about 'them' if they weren't in the confines of a bedroom in an empty house. She knew Brittany was right, and the dumb struck look on her face proved it…

* * *

><p>'Looks like someone finally realized what I have been saying for the past two years…' Brittany thought as she glanced at Santana. They caught each other's eye and Santana forced a smile, but it was a sad one, and B knew that she figured it out…<p>

_..And if you have a minute, why don't we go…_  
><em>..Talk about it somewhere only we know?<em>  
><em>..This could be the end of everything…<em>  
><em>..So why don't we go somewhere only we know?<em>  
><em>..Somewhere only we know…<em>

Brittany and the rest of the club couldn't hold it in any longer and they joined in, Brittany looking once more at her best friend, singing the last verse strictly to her…

_..And if you have a minute, why don't we go…  
>..Talk about it somewhere only we know?<br>..This could be the end of everything…  
>..So why don't we go somewhere only we know?<br>..Somewhere only we know…_

_..Somewhere only we know…_

_..Somewhere only we know…_

* * *

><p>Both girls were in a weird state of mind by the end of the day. They went about their day, listening to Kurt sing to them in Glee and then going to the mall to do the flash mob on Rachel. The flash mob thing was hilarious, just dancing around, trying to convince her that a nose job was just ridiculous. When the mall was clearing out, the group was hanging around, talking about their Born this Way assignment that they were performing tomorrow after school. Everyone was discussing their shirt ideas but being coy with one another as well, trying to keep it a secret.<p>

Brittany knew what her shirt was going to say, so her shirt making process was easy. She finished it and laid it on her bed, staring at it for a long time before being hit with an idea. She knew Santana would freak out about it, but she also knew that the brunette wouldn't make a shirt that said this. She chose to put Lebanese for a couple of reasons: one, she loved the Golden Girls and when she remembered the episode where this is how they spelled it, well, it made it funny. But she had another reason, one that was much more important, she knew Santana wouldn't go for it if it said anything more pointed. Actually, she had a feeling Santana wouldn't go for it in general, but she had to try.

So she made the shirt. She made the shirt that she would give to Santana before their Gaga number and she prayed that she would wear it. Even if she couldn't do it for Brittany she wanted the brunette to do it for herself. She finished it, folded it, and put it on her backpack, ready to take it with her in the morning.

* * *

><p>Santana proudly pulled her shirt over her head before heading to the auditorium. The word 'Bitch' in all caps spread across her chest; it was perfect. She didn't even think twice about what the assignment was about or what the shirt should have said. She didn't think about the fact that it was supposed to be something you were self-conscience about, not something you proudly sported on a daily basis. Either way, Santana made her way out into the hall, walking to her locker to grab her stuff.<p>

Brittany pretty much bounced up to her and Santana couldn't help the smile that spread across her face to see B so happy to see her. It made her happy to know that they were on good terms again and that the bleacher confessional didn't stop the blonde from being her friend. Santana knew that Britt wouldn't leave her high and dry over it, but it did worry her that it would change their relationship… she was glad she was wrong. Her thoughts were interrupted when Britt started pulling on the snaps of her jacket.

"Hey, you like my shirt for glee club?" The "I'm with Stoopid" shirt was genuinely hilarious, even though San hated it when the blonde associated herself anywhere near that word.

"It's perfect, check out mine." She said and she opened her vest to show off her newly printed white T. She saw Brittany's face fall and she had an almost disappointed look. _What in the hell was that look for? _"What? This is perfect. Legend has it that when I came out of my mother I told the nurse she was fat." _Ok, not true, but it should've made her laugh…? _

Brittany stared at her for a moment longer, tilting her head to the side and saying, "Well, I made a different one for you." She reached into her jacket and pulled out another T-shirt. Santana was hoping it would read something like, "Property of Brittany" or "I'm Brittany's…Bitch." But instead, and she had to do a double take, it said one word, Lebanese.

Now, she knew B wasn't stupid, but this was her best friend and she kind of figured all of the Spanish lessons would make her understand that she was not Lebanese.

"I'm Hispanic." _Easy on the bitch voice Lopez_. And then it hit her. "Wait, was that supposed to be lesbian?" She cringed when she said the word; she could handle saying the word gay, but for some reason lesbian just seemed like a bad thing. She felt the shock come across her face, quickly replaced by a sneer. She wasn't about to go out herself by wearing a god damn t-shirt in front of everyone and she couldn't believe Brittany would even suggest it.

* * *

><p>"Yea, isn't that what it says?" <em>Obviously Santana never watched the Golden Girls series DVD's that I got her for Christmas... <em>Brittany thought_. _She tried to hide away the fact that she was disappointed in Santana for looking so terrified, so she continued talking instead. "When you told me all that stuff the other week, it meant so much to me. To see you be so honest. Especially 'cause I know how bad it hurt. I was so proud of you." _Damn it Britt, freaking say what you need to say and not sound like a retard when you do! _But before she could say anything more, she was cut off.

"Yeah well, don't get used to it. And certainly don't think about telling anyone." _Isn't that the point of coming out though? Telling people? _Brittany thought, her anger starting to grab a hold on her mouth.

"Why not, you're like the most awesomeness girl at this school. Why would you try to hide any of that?" She was proud of Santana for finally coming to terms with herself; she wanted to shout it from the roof tops that the beautiful girl in front of her was her best friend and that they both loved each other. But the next comment had Brittany choking on bile.

"I'm dating Karofsky now." _Absolutely amazing. _She thought._ The girl can't even be up front with me; she's not dating him, she's using him as a damn shield. _Instead of saying any of that, she said the one thing that she felt along with all the other stuff: revulsion.

"It's gross. " She didn't mean for it to come out like that, but it was true. Hiding from the truth, using this random boy who is a terrible person to begin with, just to cover up who she is, to Britt it was just plain gross.

"You don't get a say in who I date anymore." _Why are we still having this discussion like I don't KNOW that she's gay? Like I don't know that this is a front to keep herself in the closet? This is getting ridiculous. _

"Why not, because I'm dating somebody, because you're Lebanese and I think I'm bi curious." _Damn it, I should have said Lesbian._ The blonde knew that she hated the word, that's why she did the t-shirt the way she did, but enough was enough already. She could also tell that the word bi curious didn't sit well with Santana either.

"No, because I said I love you. And you didn't say you loved me back." _Wait what?_ _Is she intentionally trying to piss me off? _Brittany couldn't count how many times she had told the Latina that she loved her; it was definitely more than the two times Brittany had heard the words from Santana.

Finally, her anger came spilling out.

"I do love you! Clearly you don't love you as much as I do or you'd put this shirt on and you would dance with me!" She walked away, not even looking back at the girl whose face had a mixture of anger and sadness written all over it.

Brittany walked down the hall, so determined to get away from Santana that she almost missed her destination. She pushed open the bathroom door and walked to the mirror, grabbing her hair and wrenching it into a pony tail. It was a habit of hers to put her hair up when she got frustrated and right now she was pulling so hard on her hair she thought it might come out.

She was thinking about how fast things can change, how fast they can go from good to bad, back to good but then just as quickly back to bad. She stood there staring at her reflection for a long time, contemplating just skipping the routine all together, when the door swung open. Her heart sank a little when she saw it wasn't who she was hoping for, but she still felt comforted when the hazel eyed blonde stared at her.

Quinn walked up and wrapped her arms around Brittany's shoulders; she didn't know the details of why Brittany looked so sad, but she knew it had to have something to do with their number 3. Brittany didn't say anything for a long time, just held onto Quinn while she decided if she was going to go dance or not. She made up her mind when she thought that maybe, just maybe, Santana would show up, sporting her t-shirt proudly and dancing with her.

* * *

><p>Santana had wanted to follow the blonde, try to explain again why she wasn't ready to come out, but it was getting too exhausting. She just wasn't ready; she thought it was kind of unfair for the blonde to get angry with her about it when it wasn't her reputation that would be ruined. Brittany was still with Artie; she wouldn't have to worry about the talks and the looks and everything else, Brittany was still protected. Santana would be at the mercy of the entire student body while Brittany still got to have everything she wanted with Artie while still holding onto the heart of Santana.<p>

She looked down and realized she still had the Lebanese shirt in her hand. She knew that she wasn't ready to be out to the Glee club yet, and still, she wanted to do this for Brittany. She wanted to rip off the now stupid feeling shirt with the word 'bitch' across the chest and pull on the one that announced her place in this world. She wanted to waltz onto that stage and tell Artie he was ridin' solo while she danced with her best friend. But she knew she couldn't; she wasn't ready for it all yet.

She got a text from Dave telling her that they were all in the auditorium and that he was going to watch the performance if she wanted to join him. She didn't like the boy at all, but after the week of spending random time together, she grew to respect the things about him that he would let her see. He kept his promise not to out her just like she did for him; it was a relationship based on protection and convenience, and for now, it would have to be enough.

Santana decided to sneak through the side door of the auditorium where she knew everyone would be and caught a glimpse of everyone standing in a loose circle talking to Mr. Schue. She heard them all talking about his butt chin and Santana had to stifle a laugh; _haha, his butt chin. I kind of thought he'd say something about his addiction to vests, or maybe his hair, but the butt chin is still good. _

She hung around for awhile, still just listening. She heard Rachel come into the auditorium and announce that she canceled her nose job, and even though she would never admit it, Santana was relieved to hear it. When she heard Artie ask where she was, she caught of glimpse of Brittany and instantly she wished she hadn't. It was a mix of disappointment and anger; it was a look that made Santana's stomach squirm, knowing it was her fault that it was there in the first place.

She also heard Sam's response to it, and once again, her stomach felt like it was turning over.

"Probably off somewhere making out with Karofsky… well, he can have her." She felt bad for what she had done to Sam and she promised herself that come next week, she would be apologizing to him for it; she owed him that much, even if she couldn't give him an honest explanation.

She heard Mr. Schue say 'hit it' and she ran for the side stage door, hoping no one saw her as she made her way down another hall to get to the back doors of the auditorium. Before she thought anymore about it, she walked into a bathroom and changed her shirt. She stood with her back to the mirror, not wanting to look because she knew it would feel too permanent, too absolute. Finally, she took a deep breath and forced herself to look at the word that her best friend had plastered across the chest of the t-shirt. She knew it wasn't _the word,_ but it was close enough. She quickly turned around and made her way out of the bathroom and into the auditorium, where she planted herself next to her 'boyfriend'.

He looked over at her and quirked an eyebrow, obviously ready to say something about the shirt, but with a very quiet "please, just don't" from his girlfriend, he just shrugged and turned back to the stage. Santana felt a small bit of relief when he didn't say anything and for the first time she felt grateful to have him sitting next to her.

When the song started, Santana instantly regretted not being on stage with her friends. She saw Mercedes and Tina rip the jacket off of Kurt and saw his shirt and she knew that she was not supposed to be sitting here. She knew that if she went up there right then, not one of them would judge her, not one of them would pry; they would just accept it until she was ready to tell them.

_..My mama told me when I was young…  
>..We are all born superstars…<br>..She rolled my hair and put my lipstick on…  
>..In the glass of her boudoir…<em>

When Brittany walked out on stage and she saw that fierce look on her best friends face, she couldn't help but wish she was as strong as all of them. They all ripped their jackets off, revealing to each other every single thing they were afraid to be judged for.

_..There's nothin' wrong with lovin' who you are…  
>..She said, 'cause He made you perfect, babe…<br>..So hold your head up, girl and you you'll go far…  
>..Listen to me when I say…<em>

_..I'm beautiful in my way…  
>..'Cause God makes no mistakes…<br>..I'm on the right track, baby…  
>..I was born this way…<em>

_..Don't hide yourself in regret…  
>..Just love yourself and you're set…<br>..I'm on the right track, baby…  
>..I was born this way, born this way…<em>

Kurt was so confident when he took that jacket off and Santana and Karofsky both noticed. Both glanced at each other and for the first time Santana saw the guy inside of Dave who was trying to get out. A guy who would have loved to be doing what the boy on stage had just done. In a move that surprised them both, Santana reached for his hand and gave it a small squeeze. She doesn't know what made her do it, but it was a comfort to her knowing that someone else was feeling the same way that she was at the moment… 

_..Don't be drag, just be a queen…_  
><em>..Whether you're broke or evergreen…<em>  
><em>..You're black, white, beige, chola descent…<em>  
><em>..You're Lebanese, you're orient…<em>

_..Whether life's disabilities…  
>..Left you outcast, bullied or teased…<br>..Rejoice and love yourself today…  
>..'Cause baby, you were born this way…<em>

_..No matter black, white or beige…  
>..Chola or orient made…<br>..I'm on the right track, baby…  
>..I was born to be brave…<em>

Santana didn't know it, but at that moment, her best friend saw her. Brittany saw her because she was looking for her. Britt knew that Santana would be there and her thoughts were confirmed when she saw the brunette sitting in the crowd next to Dave. She saw Santana holding his hand, and in that moment, she actually felt sorry for her friend…

_..I'm beautiful in my way…  
>..'Cause God makes no mistakes…<br>..I'm on the right track, baby…  
>..I was born this way…<em>

_..Don't hide yourself in regret,  
>..Just love yourself and you're set…<br>..I'm on the right track, baby…  
>..I was born this way…<em>

_..Ooh, there ain't no other way, baby, I was born this way…  
>..Baby, I was born this way…<br>..Ooh, there ain't no other way, baby, I was born this way…  
>..I'm on the right track, baby, I was born this way…<br>..I was born this way, hey…  
>..I was born this way, hey…<br>..I'm on the right track, baby, I was born this way, hey…_

..I was born this way, hey…  
>..I was born this way, hey…<br>..I'm on the right track, baby, I was born this way, hey…

Santana was regretting a lot at this moment, but the biggest was not getting up on that stage to dance with the blonde who was sporting her t-shirt proudly. She wished she had been strong enough, and she knew it was too late now. As everyone left the stage, she continued to sit in the shadows. Dave got up to leave and she didn't feel like following; she just continued to stare at the empty place, still hearing the words of the song echoing through the auditorium.

* * *

><p><strong>So, there it was folks! Hope you liked it! I'm finally going to get back to doing my own songs instead of using theirs (we all know what they sing anyways!)... Also, I'm going to drop their episode dialogue almost completely, because we all know what was said, it's the thoughts behind what was said that I'm more interested in and I think I've lost that in these last few chapters since there was SO much talking going on with both of them in the episodes. <strong>

**And I'm actually writing a small weekend chapter. I felt like we need something more for both girls after such an up and down week with one another. I mean honestly, if anyone was going through what Santana and Britt were going through, I believe their weekend would be interesting at the very least. Plus, 'Fondue for Two' (in my mind at least) was filmed over the weekend so it could be released the next week of school, so, gotta do that too! :) **

**So, I hope you enjoyed it! Another chapter down, only a few more to go! Rumors, Prom, and nationals. *Tear* But, maybe a few random ones in between!**

**The first song, sang by Blaine and the Warbler's was 'Somewhere Only We Know' by Keane, the second was, of course, Gaga's Born This Way. **

**Oh, and p.s., I like Quinn. My version of Quinn is genuine and even though she's having some rough episodes, she will forever hold a place in my slightly alternate universe mind. :) BUT, with that said, seeing her hit Man Hands like that, kinda got my blood boiling...**

**Until next time!**

**-Kat**


	10. Chapter 10, Paperweight

**Honestly, I'm not sure where their weekend will take them, we'll find out though! **

** Let's re-cap the story so far, shall we? Basically, they went from bff's to barely speaking, then finally starting to hash things out, only to have drunk sex with each other after Terrance's party. Things start to look up and then BAM, Santana is too scared to come to terms with anything, and they continue to bounce back and forth with each other, fighting, crying, fighting, crying, etc etc. (Let's be honest though, if you've ever been in a fight with the person you love, you yell because you care and you cry because you care. It's a maddening, never ending cycle sometimes.) ****ß Do I sound experienced or what? Lol **

**Finally, Santana see's how hurt she makes Britt every time she does something else crazy; like date Dave Karofsky. Brittany was hoping that the Born This Way week in Glee would make things better, but it only drove a larger wedge between them due to Santana's fear of coming out and Brittany's unwillingness to leave Artie. And, here we are. It's Friday night and things are starting to come to a head… finally. **

* * *

><p><p>

**Chapter 10  
>Paperweight<strong>

Brittany wasn't sure what was worse; the sex she just had with Artie or the fact that she was thinking about someone else the entire time. Before, during, after… _I'm such a horrible person _she thought as she laid in the dark, staring up at her boyfriend's ceiling. He had fallen asleep hours ago, but not Brittany, she was still just laying there after what he had called 'mind blowing sex'. It wasn't mind blowing, it was just sex, and it wasn't even good sex. She never held it against Artie for not being able to do certain things in the bed room, but sometimes she wished he would at least be a little more considerate of how _she_ was feeling during their romps in the hay.

Usually she did all the work and didn't get anything out of it. This was a weekly occurrence; she'd come over on a Friday, wait until his parents went to bed, and they'd have sex. Artie would be so excited that he wouldn't last more than a round and by that time Britt was just getting warmed up. She'd be ready for her turn and he'd just roll over and go to sleep; she never said anything, but she knew this wasn't how it was supposed to be. _Santana would make sure I got off two or three times before she would even consider going to sleep._ She thought as she continued to stare around the dark room. She knew it wasn't fair to compare Artie to Santana, because San was on a completely different level than him, but she couldn't help it.

She also knew that she had to stop thinking about the girl who was probably curled around her pillow right now sleeping; it made a flash of heat course through her body when she thought about replacing the pillow with her body instead. _Seriously, I need to hang out with her… all this time with just Artie is about to drive me insane! _Don't get it wrong, Brittany loved being with Artie, he made her feel good, he didn't put her down, but not having your best girl friend in the entire world around can kind of wear on you. She glanced at the clock: 11:30p.m. _Ugh, I should be out doing something right now!_

And then it hit her; her best friend was probably just hanging out at her own house, so why not hang out together? She felt bad for leaving Artie, but he was sleeping, so he couldn't really get mad that she was bored out of her mind. So she silently slipped from the bed and started to get dressed while searching his room for a piece of paper. She found one, and after more digging, found a pen:

**Hello my love! I just remembered I didn't feed Lord Tubbington and you know how he gets when he doesn't eat, so I'm going home to take care of him! Text me when you wake up please! xoxo**

**3 Britt**

She left the note on the night stand and slowly crept through Artie's house and out to her car. She wasn't sure why she felt so excited to just go see her best friend, but the thought of them finally just hanging out and relaxing after a few crazy weeks had her giddy. She took the familiar streets until she pulled up to the Lopez residence. She noticed that Santana's car was the only one there and realized that her parents were probably out of town again. It kind of made her sad that San hadn't told her this bit of information since it usually resulted in an all out house party, well, a party of two that is.

The blonde took one last look at the driveway and then noticed that every single light in the house was on. _Santana is definitely alone _she thought as she turned off her car. The brunette hated being by herself in that big house and she usually would flip on every light to make sure _no one would get her._ She always thought that someone would break in and her paranoia was sometimes too hilarious to ignore. _Well, I'm about to break in, so I guess she had the right idea. But, since I actually have a key to her house, it's not considered breaking and entering. _

* * *

><p><p>

Santana had found out that her parents were out of town only after she called her mom and asked what was for dinner. 'Oh honey, daddy and I are heading to New York for a few days! I promise we'll bring you back something good!' and she had hung up. She couldn't understand why her parents couldn't ask her to just come with them; I mean COME ON, it was New York, it's not like she would have said no. She was kind of upset with her parents for just leaving her, but she decided it would be a good idea to try and just relax, maybe get in the hot tub, something like that.

She got in the hot tub for about 10 minutes before realizing how absolutely boring it was without someone else being in there with her. At that moment, her mind went to her blonde friend who would normally be splashing around next to her, and she couldn't help it when her stomach twisted. _I thought I was over this, I thought I could be freakin' normal when I think about her._ Santana was trying, she really was. She still had Karofsky as her beard, but she knew the time was coming for her to get herself out into the open. _But not tonight!_ She thought as she went back into the house.

The brunette continued to find little things to do to keep her mind occupied. She showered, straightened her hair, waxed her eyebrows, painted her nails and toes, cleaned her room, and even made some cookies. She thought it'd be late enough that she wouldn't feel like such a loser for going to bed, but she glanced at the clock and saw that it was only 11:30. She wasn't tired, she felt wide freakin' awake. So, she decided to do what she would normally do on a Friday night spent at home: have a dance party in her living room. Granted, usually she had a tall blonde dancing with her, but she pushed that thought aside as she turned on her iPod.

She felt dumb at first, just dancing around to random songs by herself, but by the third song she was really starting to get into it. She had the remote in one hand, holding it to her mouth like it was a microphone, and her other hand playing the air drums to 'Here I Go Again on My Own' by Whitesnake. She hit the chorus and jumped up onto the couch, whipping her hair around and belting out the song like her life depended on it…

_Here I go again on my own!_

_Going down the only road I've ever known!_

_Like a drifter I was born to walk alone!_

_But I've made up my mind,_

_I ain't wastin' no more time…_

She heard the giggle during a lull in the music and almost fell backwards off the couch. She scrambled over the arm rest and twisted around to see who had not only come into her house, but who had also witnessed her making a complete fool of herself.

* * *

><p><p>

Brittany heard the music before she could see Santana. _Classic, she's having a dance party!_ The blonde thought as she entered the house and slowly made her way into the Lopez's living room. She almost had to pick her jaw up off the floor when she saw Santana standing on the couch singing. She was in a pair of boxers and a wife-beater, swinging her head from side to side and her brown locks were whipping along with the beat of the music; if Brittany was being honest with herself, her best friend looked sexy as hell.

She brought herself back to the moment when she started laughing as the brunette continued the chorus. She started dying laughing when San almost fell over the back of the couch, only to regain control, but then jumping over the side to hide. "Oh my gosh San, you should have just seen your face!" the blonde yelled out, laughing even harder when she saw the still terrified look on Santana's face. "BOO!" Brittany yelled over the music and she heard a "Hardy freakin' har" from the brunette who was quickly walking over to the stereo to turn it off.

"What are you doing here?" Santana asked after turning the music down so it wasn't causing the whole house to shake, "It's like midnight, how did you know I was even up?"

"Uh hello, your lights were on!" the blonde replied like it was the dumbest question she'd ever heard. She was still standing in the doorway and she could tell the Latina was already retreating into her shell, even after they had just held a slightly normal conversation. Brittany wasn't about to let that happen, so she rushed over to the stereo, cranked it up, and grabbed Santana's hands to dance with her. She looked at her best friend and said, "You owe me a dance, remember? You bailed on me today, so this will have to do!"

Santana's face was one of shock after being called out on missing the 'Born This Way' number for Glee, but Brittany always spoke the truth, so she let it go. Britt saw that she was going to win this one, so she grabbed the remote and told Santana that she had nothing on her, and started twirling around the room and singing the next song that came through the surround sound speakers.

_..I just want you close,  
>..Where you can stay forever…<br>..You can be sure,  
>..That it will only get better…<em>

_..You and me together,  
>..Through the days and nights…<br>..I don't worry 'cause,  
>..Everything's going to be alright…<br>..People keep talking they can say what they like,  
>..But all i know is everything's going to be alright…<em>

_..No one, no one, no one,  
>..Can get in the way of what I'm feeling…<br>..No one, no one, no one,  
>..Can get in the way of what I feel for you, yooou, yoooooouuuuuu,<br>..Can get in the way of what I feel for you…_

Brittany was still dancing around the room and Santana could do nothing but watch her move. She knew Brittany could dance, but since all of these feelings really surfaced, she never really appreciated how well she moved. Her body was a work of art, like literally a piece of living art. When she danced, even in moments like this when she was in a pair of sweats and a tank top and just being funny, she looked amazing. The song was still playing and she heard Brittany yell, "Dance San! It's not a dance party if you just stand there!" So, Santana started dancing, grabbing the 'microphone' from Britt and singing the next verse. __

_..When the rain is pouring down,  
>..And my heart is hurting…<br>..You will always be around,  
>..This I know for certain…<em>

_..You and me together,  
>..Through the days and nights…<br>..I don't worry 'cause,  
>..Everything's going to be alright…<br>..People keep talking they can say what they like,  
>..But all i know is everything's going to be alright…<em>

_..No one, no one, no one,  
>..Can get in the way of what I'm feeling…<br>..No one, no one, no one,  
>..Can get in the way of what I feel for you, you, you,<br>..Can get in the way of what I feel…_

They were both singing and dancing around the living room at this point. All of their feelings and fears, their doubts and embarrassment, were wiped away during this small display of fun. They hadn't had a non-serious moment between them in a long time, and they both loved the feeling of just enjoying each other's company again. When the last part of the song hit, they were both on the couch, gripping the same remote between them, and busting out the bridge… __

_..I know some people search the world…  
>..To find something like what we have…<br>..I know people will try, try to divide, something so real…  
>..So till the end of time I'm telling you there ain't no one…<em>

_..No one, no one,  
>..Can get in the way of what I'm feeling…<br>..No one, no one, no one,  
>..Can get in the way of what I feel for you…<em>

_..Oh, (oh) oh (oh) Oh, (oh) oh (oh) ohhhhh!..._

They both collapsed onto the couch when the song ended; laughing and trying to catch their breath. They both noticed at that moment that they were willingly touching each other, leaning against the back of the couch, and it wasn't awkward or weird, it was normal; it was just San and B, like it had been from the very beginning.

They latched pinkies and Brittany put her head on Santana's shoulder and they both just hung out. They talked about school and how excited they were for nationals coming up. They couldn't hide their excitement for going to New York City and getting their chance at Vocal Adrenaline again. They might not be Cheerios anymore, but they were still competitive as hell. They talked about prom a little and both tried to decide what dresses they were going to wear for the event. They steered clear of any mention of their dates and instead spoke about how "small town" Lima was and how it was going to be in their gym at school instead of some grand ballroom somewhere.

They sat for hours, literally hours, just catching up on the small stuff going on in their lives. Brittany told Santana about her idea for having an online talk show and how she had invited Mercedes and Tina on as her first guests. Santana had no idea why she would have those two on first, but Britt said it was because they probably knew about more drama going on in school than anyone else. The brunette resented that, thinking she was the biggest gossip around, but then realized that Brittany was right. Since their fighting had begun, she really had no idea what was going on around McKinley; hell, she could barely keep up with her own messes, let alone anyone else's.

As the night wore on, she could tell Brittany was getting tired because her mouth kept popping into this cute little 'O' shape when she yawned, and then she'd sigh and sink deeper into Santana's side. Somewhere during their talking, Brittany had wriggled her way into the brunette's arms and had her face nuzzled into her neck. Her legs were thrown into Santana's lap and her arms were around her waist; basically she was sitting in her lap.

Santana knew she could sit like this forever and be completely content. It was then that she realized that even if the blonde never loved her like she wanted, she would always be there for Brittany. She would always look out for her and protect her and make sure that she was loved, either by herself or by someone else. She could never hate anything that Brittany loved, and it was then that she realized she would stop tormenting Artie.

If she wanted to win Brittany she knew she needed to start fighting fair. She wasn't sure what fair meant at the time, but she knew it involved coming clean to everyone about her sexuality, coming clean to everyone about her love for her best friend, and then, when all of that was done, try to win the blonde fair and square. She knew she would win and it gave her a light headed feeling to know that the blonde would take her for her own as soon as she said the words to everyone else. It was terrifying, of course, and until she could get over those fears, these small stolen moments with her best friend was all she could have.

"What cha thinkin' bout?" the blonde asked. It startled Santana from her reverie; she was almost positive that she had been asleep just moments ago. _Hmm, I wonder if she is better at pretending then I thought?_

"Nothing, just thinkin…" she responded, which seemed to be enough for the Brittany.

They hadn't really been listening to the music playing in the background, but finally it seemed that both of their thoughts had quieted and they were able to take it in.

_..Somethin' in your eyes, makes me wanna lose myself…  
>..Makes me wanna lose myself, in your arms…<br>..There's somethin' in your voice, makes my heart beat fast…  
>..Hope this feeling lasts, the rest of my life…<em>

_..If you knew how lonely my life has been…  
>..And how long I've been so alone…<br>..And if you knew how I wanted someone to come along…  
>..And change my life the way you've done…<em>

_..It feels like home to me, it feels like home to me…  
>..It feels like I'm all the way back where I come from…<br>..It feels like home to me, it feels like home to me…  
>..It feels like I'm all the way back where I belong…<em>

Brittany started to move during the middle of the song, stretching out on the couch with her feet in Santana's lap. The brunette absentmindedly trailed her fingers up and down Brittany's legs, not even noticing it after only a few passes. She heard Brittany let out a small sign and Santana couldn't help the smile that crept onto her face…

_..A window breaks, down a long, dark street…  
>..And a siren wails in the night…<br>..But I'm alright, 'cause I have you here with me…  
>..And I can almost see, through the dark there is light…<em>

_..Well, if you knew how much this moment means to me…  
>..And how long I've waited for your touch…<br>..And if you knew how happy you are making me…  
>..I never thought that I'd love anyone so much…<em>

Santana's smile got wider as she watched her friend sleep peacefully on her couch. _Seriously, stinkin' cute is the only way to describe her when she sleeps. _Not wanting to disturb the sleeping beauty, but also ready to go to sleep herself, she started to move the blonde's legs off of her own. She suddenly felt Brittany press her legs back down onto her lap and heard a murmured 'no' before realizing that she was stuck there until the blonde fell asleep for real. __

_..It feels like home to me, it feels like home to me…  
>..It feels like I'm all the way the back where I come from…<br>..It feels like home to me, it feels like home to me…  
>..It feels like I'm all the way back where I belong…<br>..It feels like I'm all the way back where I belong…_

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><p><p>

_'Mmmh.. I forgot how much I love the smell of San's house...' _Brittany knew that it was more Santana's smell than that of the actual house, but being so close to her and inhaling her distinct scent made her feel like she was home. Before long, she could feel Santana's strong arms wrapped around her and pulling her from the couch. She could feel San's breath on her ear when she leaned in and whispered, "Come on B, let's go to bed." _I could get used to that…_ she thought, and before her head could hit the brunette's pillows, she was asleep.

* * *

><p>Both girls slept soundly all night, neither more than stirring until late Saturday morning. Santana was the first to wake and she felt like she was on top of the world. She had her friend back and there was no denying that there wasn't much else that could make her happier. <em>Well, sexy times would make me happier, but other than that, I'm pretty much set!<em> She thought as she glanced over at the still sleeping Brittany.

It's weird, but when you sleep next to someone for a long time, you tend to wake up around the same time. It's almost as if your subconscious is telling you, 'Hey! They're awake! You need to wake up too so you can talk to them more!' Santana was thinking about how they used to both wake up at the same time and just laugh because of how odd it was, but as time went on it was almost like they both started looking forward to waking up to one another. This thought put a small smile on her still half asleep face, and it wasn't even a minute later when Brittany rolled over and threw an arm and leg over Santana and asked in a sleepy voice, "Do we have to get up or can we just lay in bed all day?"

Santana chuckled as she heard the childish sounding plea, "No B, we can stay here as long as you want." The Latina laughed again when she started thinking about spending the whole day in bed with the blonde. It was days like this that Santana was thankful for painting her room black and having dark curtains; it was easy to lie in bed all day when there was no sun shining in to make you feel guilty.

"Good, 'cause I want breakfast in bed." Brittany mumbled into Santana's shirt, "You gonna make me breakfast Sanny?" The blonde was using her 'persuasive voice', a tone that she knew she could use to get Santana to do just about anything. _She's not playing very fair right now. _The brunette thought as she looked down at the blonde hair nuzzled against her chest.

"Ok, breakfast it is, but what do I get out of the deal? You know I hate breakfast B, you gonna make me lunch in bed or something?" She liked playing these games with Brittany; she'd get fussy and it made her even cuter; _if that's even possible. _

"Oh come on! You know I can't cook." The blonde tried to reason, but Santana wasn't going to budge; she was getting something for going all the way downstairs to make her something to eat. After a moment longer, Brittany huffed, "Fine, how about this, you make me breakfast, and I give you a massage." _Oh my god, is she TRYING to turn me on right now? Well, too late for that I guess… _

"Deal." She replied and faster than the blonde could even comprehend, Santana was downstairs making her breakfast; Eggo waffles, smothered in butter and syrup, some bacon (extra flimsy), and a glass of orange juice. She knew the order without even asking because this was what Brittany ate _Every. Single. Morning._ for breakfast. She never got tired of it, but it also made it very easy to make considering San had done this many times before. Santana didn't even like waffles, but she still insisted that they were bought at the super market, just in case morning's like this one would arise.

She walked the food back upstairs to find Brittany still cuddled under the blankets and still half-asleep. "Britttttannnnnyyy, I brought you waffles." She cooed as she sat the orange juice down on the side table next to Britt and ripped the covers off of the blonde to make her wake up. _Damn it, if I have to get up, so does she!_ The brunette thought as she watched the blonde curl in on herself to keep warm.

"Ugh, I hate being cold when I wake up!" the blonde said, but instantly cheered up when Santana sat down next to her with a plate full of food. Brittany grabbed the plate and finished it before the brunette could even tell her to slow down. Fat and happy, Brittany reached for the covers and pulled them back over her and Santana.

"You're so comfy San," the blonde whispered as she cuddled in closer to her best friend. "Seriously, I meant what I said about you being a living stuffed animal." Brittany's arm was draped across the brunette's stomach and both girls relished in the closeness that the one night of having fun had done for their friendship. They felt _normal _again.

Santana could feel Britt drawing patterns on her stomach through her tank top and she couldn't help the goosebumps that ran along the length of her arms and legs. Brittany must have noticed, because she started dragging her nails slowly up and down the Latina's arm; stopping at the top of her shoulder and tracing back down to the girls' palm, where she would draw more patterns before repeating the series. This was excruciating for the brunette who tried to keep her breathing steady and her heart rate down; _Damn damn damn, I'm giving myself away right now! I know she can hear that… _

* * *

><p><p>

_Listen to her heart fly…_ Brittany thought as her fingers continued up Santana's arm and across her collarbone. Brittany loved actually _hearing_ the affect she had on Santana's body instead of just feeling it. She loved hearing how Santana's breath was catching in her throat and how her heart continued to pound against her ribs. Testing her already strong theory, Brittany ran her hand very carefully down the middle of Santana's torso until it rested on the skin just above her shorts, and sure enough, the brunette's heart was running an all out sprint.

Both girls weren't exactly sure how they ended up going from joking about breakfast to what was happening now, but they knew one thing, it didn't matter. Clothes were flying around the room and both girls were clinging to each other like a drowning man clings to life. There was a desperate feeling to the moment as both girls felt the familiar hands trailing up and down their bodies; both seeking dominance but failing to do so when one would touch the other. They couldn't help but give in to one another's hands, and bodies, and mouths as their breathing became more ragged. It was like they hadn't touched each other in years, when really it had been barely a few weeks.

Brittany felt Santana's hand traveling down her waist and toward her aching center and she was so ready to feel the Latina inside her she couldn't hold it in any longer, "Please Santana, please, I can't wait anymore…" The words came out in more of a moan as Santana slid her fingers into her, causing her to see stars behind her eyes that she hadn't seen in weeks. "Oh god San, don't stop…"

* * *

><p>They had sex more times in that single afternoon than they ever had in their entire life. If you asked Brittany, it wasn't sex, it was love. It was frantic and desperate at first, but slowly turned into something she had never experienced with Santana; making love. Things got slower and more sensual as the afternoon wore on and Brittany knew that this was how sex was supposed to be. It was supposed to be equal but also not equal; you were supposed to want to give so much more than you received because seeing them feel so amazing was more important than how you felt. She knew that if she had it her way, Santana would never wear clothing again and neither of them would ever leave the confines of that dark bedroom.<p>

The sun was starting to set before either girl even considered separating from one another. Santana could tell that Brittany was just as relaxed as she was about spending the rest of the evening and night just wrapped up in one another. Santana had never been this type before; normally she would hit it and quit it, leaving before the 'after sex cuddling' could start, but this, this was different. After having sex on the floor, in bed, against the wall, on her dresser, and in her bathroom, Santana yearned for nothing more than for Brittany's arms to hold her tighter. They collapsed down onto the bed and the blonde quickly wrapped herself around Santana, enjoying the sensations it caused to their already over-sensitive bodies. San had never felt this way before; she knew she had loved Brittany for a long time, but this, this sense of need and desire, was all new, and for Santana, it was amazing.

* * *

><p><p>

By early evening, both girls were sated of their lust and love of each other and decided to get up and do something with their lives. They decided on dinner at Breadsticks and then a movie back at Santana's since her parents were going to be gone until Monday.

"Damn San, you act like you haven't eaten all today!" Brittany said as Santana continued to force feed herself more breadsticks. Brittany never understood the love that the Latina had for those breadsticks, but since she had literally gotten a lady fired for not filling up her wheelbarrow, none of the staff questioned or denied the girls' requests for more.

"I haven't Britt! I never got my lunch in bed like you… oooh, you're hilarious." The brunette replied as she watched Brittany wiggle her eye brows in a devious way. "Ok fine, I'll stop, but that means dessert back at my place. I think I have a can of whipped cream somewhere." The blonde's blush got so red that Santana almost snorted her drink out of her nose when she started laughing at her. _She seriously cannot handle sexy talk in a public place, so funny. _

What Santana didn't know was at that moment Brittany was thinking back to a very similar conversation Artie and she had had at the Lima Bean earlier that week. Thinking back on it, when Artie told her that he had a better use for the whip cream, it had actually made her stomach turn a little bit. And now that she thought about it more, it also made her feel kind of slutty for sleeping with Artie and then turning around and sleeping with Santana the next day. She tried to reason with herself that the sex with Santana was so different, but it still didn't ease her guilt of cheating on the boy in the wheelchair.

They finally paid the bill and after some mild threatening by Brittany about withholding sex, Santana stopped stuffing her purse with breadsticks and led the way to her car. They climbed in and rolled down the windows, enjoying the spring air that was unseasonably warm and just making the best of it, because this was Ohio, and the weather could change faster than Sue Sylvester changed track suits. Santana took the long way home and was for once grateful that her iPod found the right song…

_..Been up all night staring at you,  
>..Wondering what's on your mind…<br>..I've been this way with so many before,  
>..But this feels like the first time…<em>

_..You want the sunrise to go back to bed…  
>..I want to make you laugh…<em>

_..Mess up my bed with me…  
>..Kick off the covers, I'm waiting…<br>..Every word you say, I think I should write down…  
>..Don't want to forget come daylight…<em>

Both girls were glancing sideways at each other while the song played. Brittany had a smile playing at the edges of her mouth and when she caught Santana's eye, they both broke into a toothy grin… __

_..Happy to lay here,  
>..Just happy to be here,<br>..I'm happy to know you…  
>..Play me a song ,<br>..Your newest one…  
>..Please leave your taste on my tongue…<em>

_..Paperweight on my back…  
>..Cover me like a blanket…<em>

_..Mess up my bed with me…  
>..Kick off the covers I'm waiting…<br>..And every word you say, I think I should write down…  
>..Don't want to forget come daylight…<em>

As they wound around the back roads of Lima, Santana made a move that a month ago would have seemed strange, but now it just felt right. She reached for Brittany's hand and pulled it to her mouth, lightly kissing her palm before brushing her lips along the pale skin on top. She smiled slightly against the blonde's knuckles then lowered their hands to rest on Brittany's lap…

_..And no need to worry,  
>..That's wastin time…<br>..And no need to wonder,  
>..What's been on my mind…<em>

_..It's you…  
>..It's you…<br>..It's you…_

They didn't even make it inside the house before they picked up where they left off earlier that evening. Santana had thrown herself across the center console and straddled the blonde, but she didn't kiss her with reckless abandon, she just stared. She traced the plains of Brittany's face with her finger tips, over her high cheekbones and across her eyes lids, almost like a blind person trying to read and memorize a face for the first time. Brittany looked up at her through her lashes and Santana's breath caught in her throat; _you are seriously the most beautiful thing I have ever seen. _Then she crashed their lips together, forgetting all about the can of whip cream they had planned for dessert…

_..Every word you say I think I should write down…  
>..I don't want to forget come daylight…<br>..And I give up,  
>..I let you win,<br>..You win cause I'm not counting…_

_..You made it back to sleep again…  
>..Wonder what you're dreaming…<em>

* * *

><p><strong>:) Happy fluff chapter… I had to have one, there was just too much angst between them. I need my happy bitches back! <strong>

**Ok, First Song, when Santana was dancing, was of course Whitesnake's 'Here I go Again on My Own' which is a favorite of mine. When they both started to dance it was 'No One' by Alicia Keys. When they were laying on the couch, the song was 'Feels like Home' and it was the Edwina Hayes version though. It's acoustic and I have a soft spot for anything with just a piano or guitar. Hence why I about had a heart attack when I heard Santana singing Songbird with just a piano. Lastly, and the name of the chapter, is 'Paperweight' by Joshua Radin & Schuyler Fisk. It's from the Dear John soundtrack, and I seriously have been trying to figure it into a chapter for awhile now, and it fit too perfectly here for it not to be used. **

**I'm going to do a special, short chapter, over Fondue for Two, which is taking place on Sunday Afternoon/Night and it will be strictly from Mercedes and Tina's view. ****J Anywho, I hope you enjoyed their little weekend fun together, now, let the rumor's begin! **

**Oh, and I absolutely LOVE hearing from you guys! You're all the best!**

**xoxo-Kat**


	11. Chapter 11, Fondue for Two

**So. For one. I had this whole huge paragraph typed out about how I didn't like the Prom Queen episode, but I just rewatched it and I actually did like it. I watched Glee with several people last night, my boyfriend being one of them, and I think their negative vibes about it all kind of put me off my 'glee' for the night. But after just watching it on my computer again, I have to say, it was really good. I don't feel like it moved the story along THAT much, but there were some solid moments. The whole Finn/Rachel/Quinn situation; and see, I told you Quinn is actually a softy! I was expecting a cat fight in the bathroom and instead we had a Quinchel moment (Seriously, I thought they were gonna make out or something lol). My b/f's exact words, "Holy shit, please tell me we're gonna have two sets of hot lesbians making out on this show!" Granted, he was being a total guy, but it was still funny. But honestly, still kind of felt like a filler episode, but I'm glad everyone got to enjoy their prom moment in the end. **

**Speaking of Fillers, lol, here is Fondue For Two from Mercedes and Tina's perspectives (mostly). Obviously they are confused about B's show, but they come on to dish the dirt, and after a slip of the tongue, they leave in an even bigger haze of confusion. **

* * *

><p><strong>Chapter 11<br>Fondue for Two**

'_..Ghetto superstar, that is what you are, coming from above, reaching for the stars..'_

'_..the dog days are over, the dog days are done, can you hear the horses' cause here they come..'_

'_..we can rely on each other uh uh, from one corner to another, uh huh..'_

"I swear to God Tina if you change the channel one more time I'm going to back hand you back to Asia." Mercedes said as she turned down Brittany's street. The two were fighting over the radio the whole way, bouncing back and forth between stations and it was about to make Mercedes go off.

"Sorry, I'm just wondering what in the hell we are going to be doing." She said as they pulled up to B's house. "I mean, it's Brittany, there's seriously _no telling_ what she's got planned."

"All I know," Mercedes said as she put the car in park, "is that I'm gettin' my gossip on over some hot cheese. I have to say, it's a good combination." She smirked at the girl next to her, trying to ease both of their nerves as they glanced at the house.

They both sat in the car for a few more minutes, trying to collect their thoughts before going in. Neither of them knew what was in store, all they did know was what Brittany had told them in a text message:

_Ok, so I need you both to be on my online talk show! We talked about this last week, but still, it's the first one so it has to be good! I'll give you more details when you get here! See ya later tonight! –B_

* * *

><p>It was Sunday morning when Brittany had sent that text. She was excited to do her online show, but she was also kind of in the mood to stay in bed with Santana for the rest of the day. The weekend they had spent with each other was a whirlwind of emotions. They would bounce back and forth from being best friends to lovers and back again at the flip of a switch. They would be running through the house trying to smear peanut butter on each other's faces one minute, then licking the peanut butter off each other the next.<p>

Brittany was still with Artie and she knew deep down that these moments between her and Santana would cease to exist once she left her house. She knew that San had never forgotten that she was still with Artie, it was just that she didn't care. They were both so wrapped up in one another that they didn't care about the boy who had been texting Britt repeatedly all weekend. Brittany would give a quick lie, something along with lines of: 'I'm with my family, they want to hang out' or 'Me and San are having a much needed girls night'. She knew it was wrong, she knew she couldn't play dumb forever, but she also knew that in the moment, she wasn't going to lose the amazing-ness that was happening between her and her best friend.

Finally though, she knew she had to go home. Her mom had actually called to make sure she was still alive since she hadn't phoned since Saturday afternoon to tell her where she was. Marcia didn't mind that she was with Santana because she knew she was always safe with the brunette, but the blonde's mom also knew that her daughter was most likely doing something that would hurt Artie. It's not that Marcia didn't like Artie, but she knew it was wrong to string him along when her daughter's heart so obviously belonged to someone else. When Brittany arrived home on Sunday afternoon, Marcia decided to confront her daughter about her ability to cheat so freely on her boyfriend.

"Brittany, I'm going to ask you this and I don't want you to get mad or anything, but seriously hun, are you ok with cheating on Artie?" She saw the deep blush creep onto her daughters pale features and the embarrassment was radiating off of her. Marcia quickly retracted her question and asked an easier one, "It's obvious that you and Santana are working things out, but at whose expense?"

"I don't know mom! I feel like things with Artie are going good and me and San are just now starting to get back to being f-f-friends again." She stumbled on the last part because after this weekend, she didn't feel like she was really friends with Santana anymore; it felt much deeper than that.

Marcia could sense that Brittany was done talking about it, so instead she asked about the 'Fondue for Two' episode she was shooting tonight and if she needed help getting anything set up. Britt agreed that she needed help with the veggies and cheese and they set to work getting ready for the night.

* * *

><p><em>Knock knock knock. <em>

"Seriously 'Cedes, if this gets weird, I'm leaving." Tina was nervously chewing on her fingernails waiting on Britt to open the door.

_Oh give it a rest Tina! _Mercedes thought as she stared up at the big white house. "It'll be fine, this could be really fun if you'd just chill out! Plus, look at this place! It's freaking awesome!"

Tina nodded in agreement as she looked at the outside of the Pierce household. It looked like it was pulled straight from a magazine about suburban America. Big white house, wrap around front porch, flower pots along the railing, and a swing overlooking an immaculate front lawn. _Obviously someone has more money than we all thought._ Tina thought as the door swung open and an older version of Brittany stood in front of them.

She had the same bright smile, same blue eyes, long blonde hair, and a lean dancers body; _And obviously we now know where Britt gets her looks from!_

Mercedes and Tina were ushered into the house by Mrs. Pierce and were quickly corrected into calling her Marcia, "I might be older than you but I'm not _that_ old!" She chastised them playfully while showing them around the house. She took them to the kitchen where Britt was dancing around the table to the radio and both girls stopped when they took in the sight of their friend in her element.

_Damn, I guess I never really paid a lot of attention to her in class, but Britt's got some moves._ Mercedes laughed at herself for a second before noticing Tina had the same look on her face. They both were pulled from their thoughts when Britt asked them to help her take everything upstairs so they could shoot the show. They balanced the fondue pot on a tray along with the veggies and made their way upstairs. Tina swore she saw some sort of animal dart under Brittany's bed as they entered but her attention was quickly diverted when she saw the way Britt's room was decorated.

Tina wasn't sure what she was expecting when she entered the blonde's room, but the blue walls and flower wallpaper and the white bed with notch marks on the bedpost was not it. She imagined her room to look like the rest of the house; traditional but still stylish, and in all honesty, she was kind of amazed that this room had seemed untouched since like, the day the house was built.

"Um, nice room." Mercedes said as she glanced around at the pictures hanging up all over the walls and sitting on tables and dressers. She felt a smile spread across her face when she looked at a few of them and noticed she was amongst those featured; it was a picture of Mercedes, Quinn, Brittany, and Santana after the first had joined the Cheerios. They all looked so young, even though it was just a year ago. All the pictures on her dresser were of people in glee club and it made Mercedes feel kind of bad that she had never really interacted with the blonde. _Well, maybe it was because I thought Santana would rip out my weave if I tried to even talk to her._

Tina had started looking at different aspects of the blonde's room while she sat up the camera and cords to shoot the episode. She counted the notches on the bedpost and noticed that there were only a few, which actually surprised her. "Brittany, can I ask you something?"

"Mhmm." The blonde answered as she chewed on her lip; she was obviously having issues with turning on her computer.

"Well, you don't have to answer, but, I'm morbidly curious." _Oh jesus, why do I even want to know?_

"Girl, you know she doesn't have a clue what morbidly means." Mercedes said from across the room, now looking at Tina, trying to decipher what the girl was going to ask. Brittany was now looking back and forth between the two, trying to understand what was being said.

"Oh, anyways, um," _Damn it Tina, you haven't stuttered in a year, don't start now! _"is sex with Artie as bad as I picture it to be? "

When Brittany didn't respond and only turned a shade of red, she continued. "I mean, you don't have to answer that! Sorry, that was so inappropriate for me to ask! But I guess sex with Mike is so good, I think good dancers are probably the best in bed, but, I don't know, I was just wondering."

Finally Brittany stopped staring at her and instead went ahead and answered the question. "Um, it's hard to have sex with someone who can't move their legs. I mean, I pretty much do all the work but that's ok, it works for us." And that was that.

Tina wanted to ask more, but decided that she would be pushing her luck with the blonde. Instead, she started thinking about who the other notches were, curious about the life of the normally quiet girl across the room. She glanced at the bedside table and noticed a couple of pictures sitting there. She sat down and grabbed the first frame; it was a picture of Britt sitting on Artie's lap after a football game. He was in his uniform and she was still a Cheerio; Tina had to admit that it was an adorable picture and both seemed genuinely happy together. It made her feel better to know that Artie had someone like Brittany after what she had done to him and it eased her guilt to know that they were happy together.

As she sat down the one picture, the other one caught her attention. It was a picture of her and Santana, both with their head on the same pillow while they lay in bed. The covers were pulled up under their chins and Santana was staring at the camera while Brittany had her eyes squeezed closed and a smile playing at the edges of her lips where they touched Santana's cheek. Tina had never seen Santana look this happy before; she had a full out smile on her face which was something none of them had ever witnessed. When she smiled at anyone other than Britt, it was usually accompanied with some shitty comment about them. But this, this was different; the brunette's eyes looked like they were shining with happiness. Tina felt like she was invading some private moment between the two girls just by looking at the photo and quickly glanced toward Britt to see if she was watching.

She quietly turned around on the bed and caught Mercedes attention and she walked slowly over and glanced at the picture. Her eyes went wide for a second and then settled into a knowing look. Everyone knew something was going on between the blonde and Latina, their phone slip up last year confirmed it, but this photo, it solidified a lot of unanswered questions that both girls had about their two former Cheerio friends.

* * *

><p>Brittany panicked when she turned and saw Mercedes and Tina looking at that picture. She normally hid it when she knew someone was coming over because she didn't want people to think it was weird to have a picture of her and San next to her bed. Now the two biggest gossips in the school were staring at it with their mouths hanging open; almost like they knew that right before that picture, Brittany's mouth had been in a much different spot on Santana's body.<p>

"Ok girls! Let's get this thing rollin'!" she yelled just a bit too loud, causing both girls to jump and for Tina to pretty much launch the photo onto the bed.

"So basically, we're just going to sit here, eat this stuff, and talk." Brittany was trying to explain the concept but it was obvious that they both got it, so she flipped on the camera and started the show.

"Shouldn't it be Fondue for Three?" Tina asked as soon as the show started, but judging by the look on Brittany's face, she wasn't understanding the question, so she let it go.

She continued to listen to Brittany and Mercedes babble on, and she stared at her fondue skewer trying to decide if it was worth even trying. Once she saw 'Cedes spit hers out, she knew it wasn't worth it at all.

_Wait, wasn't Mr. Kidney the janitor that Britt made out with last year? _Tina thought; _maybe he was wasted when they kissed… that would make sense. _

"Hot mess Mr. Kidney aside, I want to talk about the rumor about Asian men." She wanted to be clear to the camera, so she stood up and leaned in, waving a finger and continuing, "Not true."

_Whoa, too much information there Tina! _Mercedes thought as she elaborated on the fact that the fondue was horrible. _I didn't even know they were having sex, ugh, we obviously need to talk more. _

Both girls were about to speak when they were cut off by Brittany's random outburst.

"I heard a rumor that Santana plays for the other team," She paused, but only long enough to take a breath, "and I can confirm that rumor, it's 100% true"

Tina and Mercedes froze. Two sets of brown eyes stared at each other for half a second before Mercedes broke the small silence, "Wait, what?" _Did she really just freakin' say that Santana is gay? Did that really come out of her mouth… she has got to be confused.. . I mean, it would make sense, but, what?_

"Brittany, are you serious?" Tina looked exactly how Mercedes looked; completely confused but also totally amused by this piece of information. _I knew it! I knew there was something going on. Santana's been too quiet lately; not really hanging on Britt like she normally does… _

" Yes." The blonde replied with a slightly confused look on her face. Tina chanced a look at Mercedes and both of their faces confirmed that they both understood what the other was thinking. Their silent conversation was broken by the sound of a meow coming from the floor and Brittany leaning over and picking up a huge cat.

She let the cat eat the cheese from the fondue pot and Tina knew she was definitely not eating it now. Finally Brittany wrapped the show and got up to turn off the camera. She looked kind of freaked out; she was walking around with short jerky movements and a look of pure terror on her face.

* * *

><p><em>Oh my god, what did I just do? She's going to kill me, like, she's seriously going to kill me. <em>The blonde was about to have a panic attack and couldn't stop herself from moving around her room, picking up and setting down random things on her desk and dresser. _The last time I let something like this slip, she freaked out on me. _At that moment, she had forgotten the other two girls in the room and she dove into a memory she would have rather forgotten…

0o0o0o0o0o

"_Sex isn't dating." Santana said as she and Britt walked down the hall, chatting on the phone to half the glee club._

"_If it was, Santana and I would be dating." _

_She froze. She could feel the tension rolling off of the girl beside her as she paused for half a second, but then fell right back into the conversation as if nothing was said. They got off the phone and when San looked at her, she knew she was in trouble. _

"_Get in here, now." Santana had grabbed her by the arm and yanked her into the nearest empty classroom. _

"_Ouch San, that freaking hurts, let go." And she jerked her arm from the brunette's grasp and walked further into the room while Santana glanced over her shoulder before shutting the door behind them._

"_Look B, I know this whole 'getting it on' thing is cool with us, but we can't tell people about it!" Santana literally looked like she would have smoke coming out of her ears at this point. "If people find out about it, we will seriously be the laughing stock of this school. You don't want to be laughed at do you?"_

_Brittany really didn't care if she was laughed at or not; she had Santana for protection and that was all she would ever need. She didn't understand why the Latina was getting so mad about it when she only told a few kids in glee; they wouldn't care if they were getting their sweet lady kisses on. Besides, half the school had seen them make out at parties and stuff, how was it any different?_

"_Well, maybe we shouldn't do it anymore then." Brittany said with a pout as she sat down on one of the desks. "If I'm that embarrassing for you then maybe we should just go back to being friends with no benefits." She didn't mean it; she knew they could never go back to being 'just friends' but she wasn't going to have Santana being mean to her when it was just as much San's fault as it was hers. _

_Santana looked dumbfounded as she stared at the blonde. _Hell no that's not what I want at all! _Santana thought as she walked up to Britt and kneeled in front of her, grabbing her hands and waiting until Britt looked up at her. This was the first time Santana had really tried opening up to her best friend._

"_No B, that's not what I want. And no way could I ever be embarrassed because of you! Are you kidding me? You're smokin' hot and funny as hell; you're the best thing to ever happen to me." She could see the tears swimming in those blue eyes and she cursed herself for being the reason they were there. "Come on B, don't cry, you know I can't handle it when you cry." The brunette was starting to get choked up, but she wasn't sure why. If she had known then what she knew now, she would have understood that when Brittany hurt, she hurt. _

"_It's just that we're not like many best friends out there and I don't want anyone to ruin what we have just because they don't understand us. Do you see what I mean Britts?" Brittany could tell she was trying to be nicer about it, but being Brittany, she just came out and said it. _

"_So, basically, we have to keep us a secret because people will talk shit on us if we don't? Is that what you're saying?" It came out bitchier than she had meant it, but she just wanted to make sure she understood what Santana was saying._

"_Yea, that's pretty much what I'm saying. And it's not you, it's everyone else. So for now, let's just keep things between us, a dirty little secret, if you will." The brunette cracked a smile, hoping to see one on the face of Brittany too. She could see the thoughts swirling behind Brittany's eyes, but they finally cleared and a small smile finally graced that beautiful face. _

"_Yea ok…" the blonde said, jumping up off the desk and pulling Santana up from the floor, "But that means I'm going to sing that song EVERY time you go down on me!" And she sprinted toward the door, laughing hysterically at the look on Santana's face as she flew out into the hall humming the tune to 'Dirty Little Secret'. _

_0o0o0o0o0o_

_Hmmm, maybe she won't be too mad about it after all.. _Brittany thought as she came back from her musing.

"Uh, Brittany, are you ok?" Tina asked and Britt literally felt like she jumped out of her skin; she'd totally forgotten about the two girls still sitting in the same position as when she was interviewing them.

"Eh, yea, I'm fine! Why?" She was getting jumpy again and she knew she needed to calm down.

_Uh, probably because you just outted your best friend on a live newsfeed talk show that you told EVERYONE at school about. _"I don't know, you look kind of scared or something." Tina said, trying to be subtle about it all but also trying to encourage Brittany to talk to them.

"I didn't mean what I said, it just came out wrong."She said quickly, trying to diffuse the already sticky situation. "What I meant was that Santana literally 'plays for another team'. It's nothing new to you guys; she was a Cheerio and now she's just in New Directions. So yea, she plays for another team." Brittany knew she was rambling and tried to shut her mouth before anymore word vomit came out.

* * *

><p><em>Yea freakin' right<em>, Mercedes thought, but not wanting to press the issue, she told Tina she needed to get home, and she followed the blonde to the front door, where she let them out. Once in the confines of the car, both girls burst with the new information.

"Oh my god, it makes so much sense now!" Tina said.

"Who knew that the ice queen had a soft spot for a girl?" Mercedes said as she put the car in drive, continuing the conversation, "Did you see the way Britt started freaking out right when she said it?"

"Yes! She started pacing and then tried to cover it up about the whole Cheerio's/New Direction thing!"

"How did we not see this earlier?" Mercedes literally couldn't believe that this had been covered up for so long.

"Hello! Remember that phone chat we all had last year, the sex isn't dating comment, it all makes sense now!" Tina exclaimed, the whole conversation slowly playing over in her mind; it was fuzzy, but it was still there.

"Oh hell to the no, I forgot all about that shit!" Mercedes remembered and now felt like an idiot for not seeing it earlier.

"Think about it 'Cedes, all the pinky holding and them resting their heads on each other, and making out at parties, and they sang that song together! OH MY GOD!"

"What?" Mercedes yelled and almost hit the brakes; afraid she was going to run over something.

"They love each other." Tina stated simply. "They sang that song, Landslide, remember? And then everything started to fall apart between them. They quit talking at school, they barely spoke to each other in glee. During the bus ride to regionals they didn't even sit with each other."

"Oh man, and remember when we were writing Loser Like Me, and Brittany stormed out and Santana chased her? She came back in and Santana wasn't with her and she looked like someone had killed her cat. And by the way, her cat is ridiculously huge." Mercedes added as an after thought.

"And whenever Santana told all of us that her and Dave were dating and Brittany like ran from the room?" Tina continued their musing, thinking of all the moments they had let slip by them, "Neither of them came back, they had disappeared for the entire day; even Artie didn't know where Britt was."

That's when both girls realized how serious this was and how important it was to keep their mouths shut.

"If Artie finds out, he's going to flip shit." Mercedes said as she pulled up to Tina's house. "Seriously T, we have to keep this quiet."

"Quiet? She just announced it to everyone who watched her show tonight Mercedes! The whole school will know by the end of the day tomorrow." Tina was actually scared for her life; she was an accomplice to Brittany and there was no guarantee that Santana would spare her life after she slaughtered the blonde.

"Look, we try to cover it up as much as possible. If anyone asks, we give them the same excuse Brittany gave us." Even though Mercedes and Santana have had their differences, she didn't feel comfortable with pulling Santana from her closet Kicking and Screaming. Obviously this was important to keep quiet and she would; even if they weren't friends, they were still teammates and she needed to protect her as much as she could. "Tina, I'm serious, we can't let this get out, if we do, there will be some serious hell to pay."

Tina nodded and climbed out of the car, her thoughts a mess. _Poor Artie, he doesn't even know what's going on I'll bet. Well, maybe there isn't anything going on; Brittany outted Santana, not herself. Maybe Britt is just a friend… I don't know, all I do know is that tomorrow could be a very interesting day. _

* * *

><p><strong>So, what cha think? I like the idea of people slowly finding out but keeping it quiet. I mean, I've had friends come out to me that were total surprises, but some I was like, 'DUH! Bout time you told me!' lol So I'm hoping that's how it will be with San and Britt on the show… Hopefully everyone will just be like, 'ABOUT FREAKIN' TIME!' :) Anywho, hope you guys enjoyed this! It was fun to write.. comment away so I feel the love!<strong>

**Oh, and I'm finally starting to write Rumors. I guess I'm dragging my feet because I don't want to screw up anything and I also don't want to end another season of my beloved show. But ok, it's late, time to post this for you guys and get some sleep! Hope you liked it!**

**-Kat**


	12. Chapter 12, You've Got the Love

**Herroooo everyone! So I've spent pretty much the whole day on this. I'm going home to visit family here in a few days, for like a week or so, and wanted to get this chapter done before I left. **

**I'm going to try to give you a timeline as you go, because if you watch the Rumous episode as closely as I do (to make sure I don't screw things up) you'll see that they changed clothes like a thousand times, aka, there's no way it happened all in one week. So this is like a two week spread, but like I said, I'll give you days from time to time to keep you on track. Hope you like this chapter, I got to play around with them a lot and do a lot of moments I feel like would have taken place if the camera's were rollin at all times! Anywho, enjoy!**

**Oh and p.s, Glee isn't mine, but this uber long chapter with random concepts thrown in, is. :) **

* * *

><p><strong>Chapter 12<br>You've Got the Love**

"Have you ever been in love? Horrible isn't it? It makes you so vulnerable. It opens your chest and it opens up your heart and it means that someone can get inside you and mess you up. You build up all these defenses, you build up a whole suit of armor, so that nothing can hurt you, then one stupid person, no different from any other stupid person, wanders into your stupid life...You give them a piece of you. They didn't ask for it. They did something dumb one day, like kiss you or smile at you, and then your life isn't your own anymore. Love takes hostages. It gets inside you. It eats you out and leaves you crying in the darkness, so simple a phrase like 'maybe we should be just friends' turns into a glass splinter working its way into your heart. It hurts. Not just in the imagination. Not just in the mind. It's a soul-hurt, a real gets-inside-you-and-rips-you-apart pain. I hate love."

* * *

><p><strong>Monday <strong>

Santana wasn't sure what was happening, but the looks she got on Monday morning was nothing short of confusing. People were actually looking at her and making eye contact, which is something that never happens; usually they look away before she could tear them apart, but not today. Today people were whispering, saying things like 'batter up' and even a couple of known closet lesbians were eyeing her a lot more than usual.

_Ok, I have got to be imagining this, there is no way that THAT GIRL just looked at me like a piece of meat. _She thought as she continued walking down the hall, searching for Dave to make her feel a little less uncomfortable. When she spotted him, they did what they always do in a crowded hallway. She'd run at him, yelling out something mushy like 'Hi Davey!' and jumping into his arms, wrapping her legs around his waist and kissing him hard. Even though it was a total act, it made her feel better when she knew people saw this little exchange.

She finally came down from her boyfriends arms and they walked hand and hand to class. She saw Brittany and couldn't help but notice the blush that spread across the blonde's cheek. She figured it was because of the crazy hot weekend they spent together, but since neither girl would ever acknowledge that in public, she didn't mention it. They said a quick hello before going their separate ways. _Weird, she looked kind of scared; she looked like she did something wrong. _Santana thought as she turned to look at Brittany as she retreated around a corner. _But damn that ass; hate to see you go but LOVE to watch you leave. _And with that final thought, which she realized was completely degrading; she continued her walk through the halls, HBIC with her boy toy at her side.

* * *

><p><em>Jesus, she must not have watched my show because she would NOT have smiled at me and let me walk away with my head still attached to my shoulders. <em>Brittany was already sitting in her class and was thanking the gods above that Santana didn't see the show and that she could deny anything if anyone asked her about it. Granted, it kind of pissed her off that Santana didn't watch it, but considering the circumstances, Britt decided to let it slide.

Shortly after first period, Brittany was cornered by Becky and Coach Sylvester. "So Brittany, I see you have your own rumor mill running amuck on your little online show." The blonde could see that Coach had something up her sleeve and she was kind of shocked that Sue had even seen her show in the first place. "Uh, I'm not sure what you mean?" She sputtered out as both crept closer to her.

"Ok Barbie, this is how it's gonna go down. You join my team of journalists and help me bring back the school newspaper, or I start flashing some very interesting photos of you and your 'best friend' from this past weekend." Brittany felt the color drain from her face as she watched Becky pull a stack of pictures from her backpack. There was one of Santana straddling Britt in the car from when they got back to her house after dinner. She actually liked that picture, _San looks cute, _she thought, even though she was completely disgusted that someone had been watching them. She almost lost her breakfast when she saw one of them in the kitchen, Brittany was sitting on the counter half naked with Santana standing between her legs sucking on her neck.

"H-h-h-how did you get those?" the blonde asked, "I mean, you were spying on us? Why do you even care about what we do anymore?" She was shaking but she tried hard to hide it; she knew that Coach could smell fear.

"Look here sister," and Sue leaned in so close Brittany could smell the vanilla protein powder on her breath, "I really don't care about you and your little on-the-side girlfriend, what I care about is ruining lives. And I'll start with yours if you don't do what I ask."

Brittany didn't know what blackmail was, but she knew that this was wrong. She knew that a teacher couldn't make her do something that she didn't want to do, but she also knew that if she didn't, said teacher would ruin her life. And not only that, she would ruin Santana's, and that was more important to her than her own social status.

"So, are you in or not?" Sue said with a very vindictive but also slightly disgusted look on her face. "Cause I'll tell ya one thing Barbie, like it or not, I own you again."

Brittany could do nothing but shake her head and follow both coach and Becky to a class where they held their first meeting. _Seriously, this is bad. Like bad bad bad. _Brittany wasn't the sharpest knife in the drawer, but she wasn't stupid; she knew that if she disobeyed Sylvester, her little slip of the tongue on her talk show would be the last thing she would need to worry about.

* * *

><p><strong>Tuesday<strong>

Brittany didn't even know that the MuckRaker had already turned out its first edition until she got to Glee club. She was only given a few seconds warning of this whenever Finn came storming into the room looking for Sam and Quinn. She snatched a paper from Artie and read quickly and almost passed out when she saw the first line in the Blind Items column._What prom queen candidate is spending a lot of time in her closet? _Oh my god. That's when she heard an all too familiar voice shouting in her direction; she looked up and saw an extremely upset Santana standing in front of her.

"THIS is your fault! You told everyone that I play for another team on your ridiculous melted cheese show!" _Think think think! Give her a reason; explain everything later._

"Wait, are you mad? You do play for another team; you were on the Cheerios and now you're only in the New Directions." _So lame Britt, so freakin' lame! _

* * *

><p>Santana was fuming as she stood in front of her best friend. She could never be mean to her, but right now it was taking everything in her body to not pull the blonde out of the room by her hair and beat the shit out of her for this. <em>She seriously thinks that that is a good cover up story? <em>

"And you couldn't of thought of any other way to say that!" _She looks confused. UGH, I cannot be here right now! She's such a freaking dumbass sometimes! _

Santana stopped for a short second as she watched Finn and Sam push each other. When Finn went to leave, she couldn't stop herself from throwing one more painful glare at the blonde before storming from the room. She could see by the look on Brittany's face that she was sorry, but this was a big deal! She then realized why so many people had been giving her weird looks the last two days; _they had all watched the show_. _Damn it all to hell! If I would have watched it I would have known about this days ago! And why didn't she say something to me like immediately when I saw her yesterday… oh, that explains how scared she looked when she saw me. FUCK. I need to talk to her._

Almost as if she could hear her thoughts, her phone was beeping in her pocket.

_San, I'm seriously so sorry. I have a lot we need to talk about, like A LOT. Serious stuff. Can you meet me under the bleachers at lunch? –B_

Serious stuff? Granted, this was serious, but the way Britt said it made Santana wonder what else could possibly be going on that made B need to see her now.

_Yea, I'll meet you there after this period.-S_

Their 4th period dragged on and she couldn't help but look around and notice those people who occasionally glanced at her only to look away just as quickly. She was afraid of this happening and her worst nightmare was realized when a girl from the golf team (and a known closet lesbian) approached her about being on the team. Santana wanted to go off on this girl, but when she started to think about it, she realized that this girl was exactly like her. Afraid to be who she was, still buried in the closet, and being mean to her would only pull her deeper into that already dark, fickle place that so many people reside. So instead, Santana politely declined and left the room before anyone else asked her to join another club.

She found Brittany under the same bleachers they had sat under the week before and once again the blonde wore a scared expression. When she saw Santana duck under the last rail, Brittany ran at her and wrapped her up in a bone crushing hug.

"Santana, coach Sylvester knows about us! Like, she knows everything!" Brittany was starting to cry when she pulled away from Santana and saw the mask of horror on her face.

"What? What do you mean she knows?" Santana was panicking and she didn't even know the whole story yet.

"She has pictures of us San! From your house this weekend! She said that if I don't keep helping her dig up dirt and rumors about people she's going to show them to the school!"

Santana was trying to register everything being said to her but after only a few seconds she caught on. Sylvester had their dirty laundry and she was going to air it out. She was going to out Santana and Brittany in the most embarrassing way possible. _Think of something NOW! _

"Ok B, calm down." She placed her hands on the blonde's shoulders, noticing that her own breathing slowed as she tried to match the pace of Brittany's. "I have an idea. I'll make sure I get some rumors going about me, just to keep the attention on me and away from us. And you need to do exactly what she tells you to do! Got it?"

Santana said this and she could tell Brittany was calming down, but still seemed reluctant. She grabbed the pale hands and laced their fingers together, choosing her next words carefully, "If you think a rumor is going to really _really_ cause a problem, like if it's something really bad about someone in glee or something, come tell me. We'll decide together if it's ok to tell coach or not. We're in this together Britt, ok?"

The blonde took another deep breath and squeezed their fingers together tighter. She wanted to cry and tell Santana that it didn't matter and that she wanted everyone to know, but then she thought of Artie and how crushed he'd be to find out about it like that. She also wanted to tell San how thankful she was that she would do that for her; take the heat off of them and put it on herself. She wanted to say all these things, but when her pale blue eyes met dark brown, she could only whisper a simple, "Ok".

* * *

><p><strong>Wednesday<strong>

Brittany woke up with a little more pep in her step, even after the day she had had yesterday. Her and Santana were ok after the whole Fondue for Two fiasco and were now trying to make up stupid rumors about people to keep everything under wraps. They came up with some really good stuff when they were talking on their way into school.

"Maybe we should tell the school that Mr. Schue finally entered a 12-step program for his vests!" Santana joked as they walked to their lockers. "Or, that April Rhoads is in town."

Brittany wasn't sure why that would be such juicy gossip, but then she followed Santana's line of site and saw the little blonde walking down the halls with a thermos in her hand. "We could at least say something about the fact that she's always wasted when she's here!" Brittany said as April continued to gawk at some of the boys in the hall.

After realizing that April really wasn't that interesting, they went their separate ways for the day, promising to meet up before Glee so they could go together. Brittany found Artie and jumped into his lap, planting a kiss on his cheek as he wheeled them to class. She could tell something was bothering him, but she also knew that he would tell her when he felt like it. The whole day continued in that pattern; he'd drop her off at her class and wheel away without saying much.

Right before Glee, they both had the same class together. He sat next to her like always, but he seemed distant. She started tracing circles on his hand with her finger and he'd pull it away and make it look like he needed both hands for an assignment. She even went a step further and started blowing on his ear; she did this not only to annoy him, but also to turn him on. She figured that any response was better than none, but obviously she was wrong. He turned and almost yelled at her to stop, which she did of course, but first she stuck her tongue out at him and gave him her best glare.

When class was over, she left the room without saying bye. She wasn't going to deal with a PMS-ing Artie when she had her own drama to deal with, so she followed through with her plans of meeting with Santana and they walked to class together, pinkies linked. When they walked into glee, Brittany dropped their pinkies and took her respective spot by Artie while Santana went to the back row. This was how things were now, and if they wanted to keep things on the level, they knew they had to continue to act like nothing was wrong.

Santana did notice that Artie gave her an even dirtier look than normal when Britt and she had entered the room, their pinkies intertwined again after weeks of being apart. She was kind of smug about the fact that these rumors about her were actually getting under his skin. What she didn't know was how much it was starting to affect the boy in the chair.

Glee started like any other day; Rachel complaining, everyone bitching at each other about more rumors being brought up, and April Rhoades drunk off her ass, staring at Mr. Schue with 'fuck me' eyes. Santana snorted when they started to sing; _Obviously someone is already over Ms. Holly Holiday. That was fast. _

She was sneaking looks over at the couple to her bottom right, noticing that Artie was very much so keeping his hands to himself while Brittany's hand lay lazily over the back of his chair. She seemed like she was enjoying the song, but Artie looked like he was still not happy with San and B being friends again.

**..Players only love you when they're playin**_**…**__ Truest. Statement. ever. Man, I know my mom loves her some Fleetwood Mac, but maybe I should listen to this! _Santana thought as April and Schue really got the song rolling.

**..Women, they will come and they will go… **_Wait. What was that look that Artie just gave Britt? I have to be going crazy to actually be paying attention to them. _

The song ended and Mr. Schue gave them their assignment; Santana was actually kind of excited for this. It would give her and her mom (if she was home) a chance to bond over something. She thought of the possibility of her mom actually hearing her sing and she was too excited by the end of class to notice Artie hot on Brittany's heels as they left.

Brittany got to her locker before Artie could catch up to her. She could feel the tension rolling off of him in Glee and she wanted to get to her locker and get her stuff before they had some type of throw down in front of everyone. She wasn't expecting the first thing that came out of his mouth though.

"What's going on with you and Santana?" _Oh hell, here we go. _

"Nothing." _Be casual, you're his girl, everything will be fine, he doesn't know anything. _

"It doesn't sound like nothing. It sounds like something which is almost always more than nothing." _That was confusing. _

"Calm down Artie." _He's mad, why though? He doesn't actually know anything does he?_

"Are you cheating on me with her?" _Yes. _

"No, of course not, I mean, I can't, she's a girl." Brittany didn't feel like this was enough for Artie, so she continued, but immediately wished she had just kept her mouth shut. "Fooling around isn't cheating, it's just friends talking with their tongues super close." _Why in the HELL did I just say that?_

"Who told you that?" He knew the answer to the question, he just wanted to hear her say it.

"Santana." _I guess it's too late now. She really did say that to me once, but just as a joke. _

"Don't you see that she's manipulating you?" _Now I'm getting mad. _

"That's not cheating either, she told me that too." _Brittany! SHUT UP! _

"Do you see what's going on here? You're the hottest girl in this school and I wear saddle shoes on legs that don't work. This shouldn't be happening. Not because I'm in a wheelchair, but because I'm obsessed with Angry Birds and my mom cuts my hair."

"I like your hair cut." She really did, she thought it gave him this cute boy-ish look.

"It's hard enough for me to believe that this is real, if I know that you spend even a little time sharing yourself with someone else, that there's one other person in your life that can provide for you things that I'm supposed to provide, It's just too much for me to take. And Santana knows that. She's taking advantage of it to break us up." Artie was fuming at this point, but still trying to keep it under control. Brittany on the other hand was not able to keep her anger in check.

"No! Everybody thinks she's a bad person but she's not." _Finally, I said something real!_

"God Brittany why are you so stupid." _Uh. What. Oh god Britt, don't cry. Stop stop stop. _

Then she said the only thing that could come to her mind while the tears began to build behind her eyes. "You're the only person at this school that had never called me that."

It was true. Everyone, even Santana, had called her dumb or stupid at least once; maybe not to her face, but everyone had and she knew that. Everyone in the whole school, except Artie. He was supposed to be the exception; he was supposed to be her knight in shining armor who would protect her when Santana couldn't. He was supposed to be a guy who was different, who looked after her and accepted her corky moments and loved her for it. He wasn't supposed to get angry with her about the Santana thing because she picked him. She chose to love Artie over Santana and he had the audacity to call her stupid. Of course, he didn't know she had made that choice, but obviously her loving him and not Santana should have made that clear.

She did the only thing that she could do at that moment; she ran. She rounded the corner and away from the boy who had just broken her heart. She didn't realize how deep he was ingrained in there until she started feeling the pain through her chest. Maybe it was the hurtful way he said it, but this, it just felt so raw and it made the tears fall faster. She wasn't watching where she was going and she collided with Santana.

* * *

><p>Santana had seen Brittany round the corner at almost a sprint and she saw the tears that were running down her best friends face. She started pushing past people to get to her and the blonde didn't even see her until she was in her arms. Santana felt Brittany wrap her arms around her waist and she could feel the salty tears hitting her neck as the blonde clutched on to her.<p>

She wasn't making any sense at first, just mumbling incoherent phrases about haircuts and saddle shoes. She then heard the word 'Artie' and immediately tensed up; she knew the boy had made her best friend cry. She didn't have the details yet, but she already felt the rage coursing through her. When she felt Brittany cry harder into her neck and then say that he had called her stupid, it took everything in her to stay rooted to that spot.

"He's a fucking dead man." Santana said through her teeth; she didn't mean to say it out loud, but when Brittany whimpered in her ear and told her that she had to stay with her, she relaxed and promised herself that she would see him later. Instead, she ran her fingers through Brittany's hair and tried to get the blonde to calm down. It was becoming a bit of a scene in the hallway so Santana moved them to a more secluded spot. She could feel B start to relax in her arms and she heard her mumble something along the lines of, "Maybe I am stupid… Everyone always says it."

Santana pulled back and immediately corrected the blonde. She bopped her on the nose with her index finger and very seriously said, "You are NOT stupid, do you hear me?" She made Brittany look at her and she could see the pain in her eyes, but she gave a small 'yea..' in response. Santana wrapped her arm around her and lead her to class, always keeping an eye out for the boy in the wheelchair. She was fantasizing about pushing him down a flight of stairs when she dropped Britt off at her class.

"San, I need to tell you something." She wasn't sure what the blonde was going to say, so she just stared at her, waiting for her to find the words. "He called me stupid because of you; he said you were trying to break us up and that you were manipulating me and making me cheat on him." Santana was about to chime in but Brittany stopped her, "I just wanted you to know, that if you hear that from people, like, if Artie tells people it's your fault, I want you to know that it's not, ok? It's not your fault and I don't blame you at all and I knew what I was doing and it's my fault. I just know how these rumors can spread and I didn't want you to hear something like that, ok?" The blonde was looking at her for some sort of reassurance, but the brunette was still in shock by what she had just heard. _She's trying to make sure that I'm ok when it's her that needs to be ok. I seriously couldn't have a better best friend. _

She realized Britt was still waiting for an answer, so she reassured her, "Britt, I wouldn't care if it was my fault or not, I just don't want to see you hurting. And it's not your fault either; what did I say earlier, we're in this together. Artie is an absolute jackass for what he said and even though I'm biased, it's really his loss." She cracked a smile at the blonde, ducking down to look up into her face, and she could see that the blonde's tears were dry. She gave her one last hug and told her to go to class and that she'd be there to get her when class got out.

Brittany walked into class and Santana headed down the hall, searching for the boy who just broke her girls' heart. She found him a lot quicker than she expected and the look on his face when he saw the fiery Latina was almost priceless. He immediately stopped wheeling toward her and instead spun around and headed in the other direction.

"Hey asshole! How about you stop for a second so I can beat the shit out of you!" She yelled as she sprinted down the hall toward him. Being a part of the Bully Whips like she was, she probably shouldn't have been yelling threats, but at that moment, she could not have cared less. She was surprised when he stopped and swung back around, a look of pure loathing on his face. She stopped a few feet from him and both glared at one another, waiting for someone to break the icy tension.

"Santana, I don't want to hear a damn thing from you!" Artie yelled. Santana was thankful that the halls were empty because she knew he was about to say some things she would rather other people not hear. "YOU are the one who went after her! YOU are the one who couldn't deal with the fact that she is with me so you did everything you could to break us up! Well congrats Satan, you achieved your goal! You got your prize, now leave me alone!" Not to be outdone, Santana started rambling.

"Uh, hello dumbass, you're the one who called her stupid! Obviously you have no idea how to treat her since you said the one thing that upsets her the most!" Santana was starting to get even madder and she walked up and put her hands on his armrests and got right in his face. "And don't you dare come back for her, do you hear me? She's not yours to come back for and I swear to all that is holy if I see you even look at her I will rip your balls off and feed them to you!" And with that, Santana walked away, feeling very proud of herself and also very excited that she had refrained from actually pushing him down a flight of steps.

* * *

><p>For the next few days, neither girl really spoke to each other. Britt didn't even come to school the next day because of it and when Santana had texted her and asked where she was, the blonde just told her that she needed some time by herself. Brittany was still really sad about the whole Artie thing, even if she couldn't and wouldn't admit that to Santana. She knew what she said to San that day at their lockers, it was pretty much on repeat in her mind from the moment she realized her and Artie were over. <em>'If Artie and I were ever to break up, and I'm lucky enough that you're still single, I'm yours, proudly so.' <em>

She meant it then and she still meant it now, but it was going to take awhile to adjust to the thought of not having a boyfriend anymore. She was so used to having someone's hand in hers and someone to kiss goodbye before class that she felt a little lost. She knew she wouldn't have that with Santana yet and she knew she was going to miss it until San was comfortable to be with her out in the open. Also, since Santana technically wasn't 'single' at the moment, she knew she had a long waiting game ahead of her.

It was Friday when her mom pushed her out the door and made her go to school. Normally she would ride with Artie, so getting in her car and bypassing the route to his house was weird. She wondered what he had been up to the last few days and how he was getting to school and who he was sitting with in class. That was what she had been dreading the most; class with him. They usually sat right next to one another and now she was either going to be moving or he wasn't going to be sitting in their usual spot.

Sure enough, he was sitting in the very front of the room when she got there and made a point not to look at Brittany when she came in. She moved to the back of the room and plopped down in her seat, pulling out her phone and playing Angry Birds for the rest of the class. She got a text from San that told her to go to the choir room during lunch cause she had a surprise for her. Brittany smiled when she thought of Santana trying to make her feel better and it made the first part of her day go a little smoother.

* * *

><p>Santana had spent a good part of the past two days listening to the Rumours album that her mom had on LP. Granted, her parents were gone, again, and they didn't get the bonding time Santana had wanted, but instead she got an amazing song. When she heard it, she knew it was perfect. She wasn't sure how she could pull it off because there was no way in hell she was singing it in front of the club, but she would sing it for Britt.<p>

She tracked down Brad, the piano man, and even though she had no idea why he was even at school that day, she convinced him to learn the music and meet her in the choir room on Friday. She was standing around in the room, feeling slightly nauseous, when Brad walked in. They went over the plan again and she couldn't help but feel appreciative of the silent man at the piano. She only skimmed over the situation and stressed the importance of him keeping his mouth shut after he saw the performance. He just nodded his head and continued preparing himself at the piano.

Brittany walked in a few minutes later and Santana could tell that the girl wasn't in the best of moods. She looked tired and she didn't have the normal toothy grin she usually wore on her face. It made Santana's heart ache a little knowing that the blonde was still not over the whole Artie situation. Right then Santana knew that even if she couldn't be with Brittany right away, it was ok. They would work themselves out at whatever pace worked for them; she'd waited a long time, she could wait a little longer.

She pulled Brittany into a hug and shivered when she felt the blonde turn her head into her neck and take a deep breath. Brittany always loved the way Santana smelled and even though it was one of the blonde's quirky habits, Santana couldn't help but love the feel of the blonde's noise trailing up to her jaw. She released her hold on Brittany's waist and the blonde went over to the piano, leaning on it and picking at her nails.

"I'm so sad, like a sad little panda." _Haha oh Britt, this is why I love you. Even though you're sad, you're so damn cute. _

"Well that's why I brought you here, to cheer you up." Santana said as she grabbed Brittany's hand and lead her over to a chair. "I've been going through that Rumours album and I found the best song that goes one step past Landslide in expressing my feelings for you." _I'm such a freakin' sap when it comes to this girl._ "My private feelings."

"What about him?" The blonde asked as she glanced at the guy at the piano.

"He's just furniture… sorry, no offense. Hit it." _Here goes nothin'! I can't believe I'm doing this…_

Santana moved to stand out in front of Brittany and prayed that this song would show her just how much she meant to her. It was a sad song, but it was perfect for their situation and she hoped that the blonde would like it as much as Santana did.

_..For you, there'll be no more cryin'…  
>..For you, the sun will be shining…<br>..And I feel that when I'm with you, it's alright_… 'there's that smile I was lookin for..'_  
>..I know its right… <em>

_..And the songbird's are singing,  
>..Like they know the score… <em>

'Oh shit I forgot about this part.' She thought, but when she looked up and was met with a pair of pale blue eyes, she found the strength to sing the words…

_..And I love you, I love you, I love you, like never before…_

* * *

><p>Brittany's thoughts were in a whirlwind when she heard Santana sing to her. Never in a million years did she think she would see the day when Santana Lopez would actually lay everything out there like that. She's heard San sing before, but this was different. This was a love song, to her, and even though no one was around to hear it, Brittany heard it, and her heart soared…<p>

_..And I wish you all the love, in the world…  
>..But most of all, I wish it from myself… <em>

_..And the songbirds keep singing,  
>..Like they know the score… <em>

_..And I love you I love you I love you, like never before…  
>..Like never before… <em>

She saw the half smile and the eyebrow raise, she saw the tears forming in Santana's eyes, and she knew this was hard for San, even if it was just a performance for one. She wanted to wrap herself around the Latina and never let her go; never in her life had someone sang to her like that and never had she felt the feelings that were now swirling in her chest. When she said the next word, it wasn't about the song; it was about the woman standing in front of her.

"Beautiful."

But there was something she needed to know, something that would bother her if she didn't ask. It didn't come out like she wanted, but since Santana was good at deciphering her language, she knew she'd understand. "Ok so why couldn't you sing that to me in front of everyone; now that Artie and I aren't together." It was the first time she openly admitted that Artie and she were done, and deep down she could still feel the little tear in her heart from their break up.

"No, not yet." She said while she trapped a tear before it could roll down her face. "I'm not ready for that type of public announcement." Brittany was finally starting to understand that Santana just wasn't ready yet, and for once, it wasn't bothering her as much. "Ever since that MuckRaker thing people have already started treating me differently, I got asked to join the golf team." _Ha! The golf team, go figure. Wait, bing! Idea. Gosh I'm so freakin' smart; Artie can suck it. _

* * *

><p>"Well, what if I went first?" Santana could see the light flicker back into Brittany's eyes as she walked toward her while her own face certainly did not wear its normal confident façade. "Come on Fondue for Two, I'll ask you out to prom and I'll tell you how I feel and all you have to do is say yes." Santana wasn't sure if this was actually a good idea, but the fact that Brittany was willing to do that for her, she couldn't even consider saying no.<p>

"Ok." Santana said and she realized she actually sounded confident in this plan. Brittany gave her a small smile and pulled her in for a hug.

"Yea." She felt like this could work; she felt like B's plan could actually allow them to be together without Santana having to full come out and say it. _Let people think what they want. _

The bell rang and both girls pulled apart from their hug.

"I have to go!" Brittany said as she realized she was close to missing her Spanish class. "Seriously, if I miss this class again, Mr. Schue will probably fail me!" And with that, she turned and sprinted out of the choir room, leaving Santana in a very awkward silence with Brad. She turned to him and whispered a small 'Thank you' before turning toward the door.

"You know," Brad called after her. She stopped in the doorway but didn't turn around, "If someone ever sang like that to me, I wouldn't wait for some T.V. show to ask them to prom." Santana smiled to herself a little, knowing that it was a compliment and advice all rolled into one. She had a nice little connection with the piano man; he now knew her better than most of the kids in this school and seemed to have no problems with the fact that he had just played a love song for a couple of high school lesbians.

She laughed to herself a little as she glanced over her shoulder at him, still sitting at the piano, and said, "Furniture Brad. You're furniture."

* * *

><p>The weekend passed without much incident. Artie had tried calling and texting Brittany, but she refused to return any of them. She was still so angry at him for what he had said and she couldn't help but scream into her pillow a few times with frustration throughout the weekend. She and Santana had talked a little, but the brunette seemed a little embarrassed after her not-so-public display of love and affection in the choir room.<p>

Brittany did however listen to that song over and over for the entire weekend. When her mom asked where this infatuation with Fleetwood Mac came from, Brittany could do nothing but smile and continue singing along to the song. _And I love you, I love you, I love you, like never before…_

* * *

><p><strong>Tuesday<strong>

"Just don't sit next to me today, ok B? Sit next to Berry or something." Santana cringed as she said the words, but she knew that Brittany couldn't sit next to her in fear of Artie going off. And since no one liked to sit next to Man Hands, she was the perfect chair buddy for the day. They were walking through the halls on their way to Glee when she glanced and saw the still confused look on Brittany's face, so she continued explaining. "If I have one more girl hit on me I might throw up. Do you know how many closet lesbians there are in this school? I seriously can't handle any more of it today!"

Santana had been asked to join the golf team, the basketball team, and the softball team all in a span of two school days. One girl actually had the nerve to come up and ask if she was single; Santana couldn't tell if she was just trying to be a bitch or if she was serious, either way, home girl got slushied by a 'secret agent' with a black sock hat on. Santana actually paid Azimio ten bucks to do it for her; since Dave had stopped all forms of harassment, Azimio was itching for the chance to slushy someone and happily complied.

Santana was brought back from her musing when she heard Brittany say, "Closet lesbians, so people like you?" She had a smile playing at the edges of her mouth, but it still wasn't very funny to Santana.

"Yes Asshole, like me!" She meant it in the most loving way possible and she knew the blonde would think it was funny. "Seriously Britt, it's crazy out here!"

Brittany was now full out smiling while they bantered with one another outside the door of the choir room. "So wait, if you're a lesbian, why would it make you want to throw up?" She was genuinely curious when she asked this question because it didn't make sense at all.

"Cause, I only gots' eyes for one hot blonde in this place." She said in her ghetto voice, winking at Brittany and enjoying how open they had become with one another.

Brittany looked at her in mock horror and stated very matter-of-factly, "San, I should tell you, Quinn isn't gay." And with that, she ran into the room, but she couldn't get away before Santana placed a well aimed smack to her ass and whispered 'biatch' under her breath.

* * *

><p>When Finn and Quinn started singing their song, it was seriously the most awkward thing anyone had to sit through. They were obviously not happy with one another and Santana couldn't help but enjoy that for once, she wasn't the cause for their problems. She was only slightly concerned for Quinn; she was a big girl and she was just as manipulative and conniving as Santana, she would figure it out on her own. Instead, Santana focused on the boy sitting in the front row. He didn't seem like he was enjoying the performance and when he glanced at Brittany, Santana almost jumped out of her seat.<p>

She grabbed her phone and sent him a quick text, hoping to be discrete but also ready to start an all out war if it came to that.

'Keep your eyes off, hot rod. –S'

He flipped open his phone a few seconds later and looked like he was going to be sick. He turned away from Britt and kept his eyes trained ahead for the rest of the performance. Now that she knew she had handled that for the day, she turned her attention back to Quinn. She could tell the blonde was getting more pissed off as the song continued. Santana knew the hobbit was getting in the middle of Quinn and Finn, but honestly, she felt like Quinn needed to move on from him. Her fears about how she would never get out of this town were holding her back and San knew she needed to talk to the hazel eyed blonde about this.

She began looking around the room and caught Brittany's eye, who had obviously been staring at Santana's legs before realizing Santana was staring at her. She saw the pale features blush crimson and then saw her pulling out her phone, typing a message, and looking pointedly at the brunette to check her own phone.

'Is this as awkward for you as it is for me? These two are starting to get a little crazy. Oh, and seriously, you really shouldn't wear skirts like that. –B'

'Uh, your skirt is also a bit short today mi querida.-S' San knew that Brittany would now be busy Googling the English translation and she would be free to watch the drama unfold in front of her.

_They look like their either going to start having hot hate sex right here on the floor or Quinn is going to knock his teeth out; either way, it's a win win. _Santana thought and had to stifle a laugh as she pictured Berry's face if either of these events took place. She pulled her mind out of the gutter long enough to hear Quinn's heated exchange with Rachel. _These two are going to tear each other apart one day. _

She looked over at Brittany and saw the same amused look on her face. She knew that they needed to get the unholy trinity back together, but since both girls were running against each other for prom queen, Santana decided that she should wait until after prom for such events to happen.

* * *

><p><strong>Tuesday Night <strong>

Brittany had texted Santana 9 times with still no response. She was supposed to be coming over for the Fondue for Two episode in an hour, but she couldn't get ahold of her. It made B worried that Santana wasn't responding, _maybe something happened? I haven't seen her since Glee, oh gosh, what if she got lost in the sewers like I did! _

Brittany was starting to panic as worse and worse things began playing through her mind. Before things could get really bad, she felt her phone go off and felt a flood of relief go through her body when she saw the name on the LCD screen. When she flipped open her phone, her body went from relieved to rigid in a second.

'I can't –S'. _That's it. That's all I get after setting this whole thing up for her, for us? _Brittany was raging mad and couldn't stop herself from flinging her phone down and walking out of her room.

"Mom!" She yelled down the stairs, waiting for her mom to walk into view.

"Yea Britt?" Her mom walked to the bottom of the steps and looked up at her daughter. She could tell she was mad and had a good idea what was happening. Brittany had told her mom everything; from the song to the prom proposal idea, and she knew that Santana had backed out. She'd never say anything, but this was one reason she was worried about Santana and her daughter being together. They were obviously head over heels for one another, but the way they bounced each other around wasn't healthy and it made her wonder how they would be if they were a real couple.

"Don't do anymore chocolate strawberries, she's not coming. You and dad can have em!" And with that, she stormed back into her room, scooping up Lord Tubbington on the way.

Brittany flung the cat down on her bed and grabbed her phone again. She wanted to write back, she wanted to freak out on Santana for once again slamming the closet door closed and locking it tight. She wanted to tell Santana a bunch of things, but when her fingers hovered over the key pad of her phone, she knew that it was no use. No words would convince Santana to come over. No amount of begging and pleading would make her come over and do something she so obviously wasn't ready to do.

So instead, she went on with the show. She knew it was absolutely ridiculous to interview her cat, but she was bored and wanted to give her random viewers something, plus, they all seemed to love her oh so large feline.

* * *

><p>Santana was sitting at home, staring at her phone, reading the 9 texts that Brittany had sent her throughout the night.<p>

_5:15p.m. 'San, don't forget about Fondue for Two tonight! I'm so excited!"_

_5:28 p.m. 'Are you excited? Because I'm pretty pumped to have such a smokin' hot date to the prom.'_

_5:42 p.m. 'No but seriously, are you excited?'_

_5:51 p.m. 'So did you lose your phone or are you ignoring me?'_

_5:55p.m 'I'm startin to feel like a dumbass, but usually you write back pretty quick.'_

_6:17 p.m. 'Yea, I gave you lots of time to respond on that one, what are you doiinnnggg?'_

_6:29 p.m. 'Santana Marie Lopez, what in the hell is going on?'_

_6:37 p.m. '…..'_

_6:45 p.m. 'We're supposed to shoot this in an hour! What are you doing?'_

She felt horrible for what she was about to do, but she couldn't bring herself to even partially come out on Brittany's show. She knew that too many people watched it and if she thought that a rumor was bad, imagine what it would be like if they full on admitted to liking each other on a live show. So instead, she finally responded with a simple, but also terrible text.

_6:57 p.m. 'I can't. –S'_

When she hit the send button, she felt the tears start to fall. She knew that her tears were her body's way of telling her mind that she was a dumbass for doing this to Brittany. That she could have easily gotten through this because she would have had the blonde by her side. She knew it was true, but once the text was sent, she knew the damage would be done.

Santana was clutching her phone for the whole hour, hoping that Brittany would write her back and tell her that it was ok, but that never happened. She realized it was almost 8 o'clock, and she lunged for her computer and turned it on, hoping to catch a glimpse of the blonde doing a different segment. She sat on her bed and heard the familiar theme song start and was then staring at the beautiful girl she loved, her side blue eyes staring back at her through the screen. She felt horrible for doing this to Brittany, but she just couldn't do it yet. She just couldn't. But after seeing that shrug from the blonde and the disappointed look on her face, she knew that Brittany wouldn't speak to her because of this, and it made her heart hurt to know that she once again was taking one step forward only to take two steps back.

* * *

><p><strong>Wednesday<strong>

"You know, I blame Sam for all of this." Santana said after Berry gave a very interesting performance of Go Your own Way. "And Rachel too, I blame her." Santana wasn't sure why she threw Rachel in there, but it was funny, so she figured she'd take the jab where she could get it.

"What did I do?" _Oh Berry, you're so easy. _

"I'm sure you did something." Santana had missed most of the conversation because she had been watching the blonde across the room for most of the class so she just figured that Man Hands had to of done something wrong. Brittany had rocked the song right along with Rachel, constantly throwing both Santana and Artie looks of absolute disgust, and Santana knew that she dug herself into quiet a hole.

Her attention was brought back to the scene taking place just two rows down from her when their voices got too whiny to ignore. After everyone started taking jabs at Sam, he finally broke. He told them all what had been going on in his life and exactly why Quinn and Kurt had been with him.

All Santana could feel was the air leave her body when she found out about what was actually going on with Sam and his family. She felt terrible. She had no idea what had been happening with his life and this was obviously a recent enough occurrence that, even if she was a shitty girlfriend, she should have known about it. She felt like all of her problems were very small in the grand scheme of things after hearing what he was going through. She wanted to run after him when he left the room; he was always good to her even if she was a total bitch to him and she felt like she needed to comfort him somehow.

She got up and left the room, and the sound of confusion that echoed behind her as she left made her feel even worse.

'Why in the hell is Santana going after him? Didn't she like screw him over?' It was Puck's voice.

'It's Santana, she's probably going to be nice to him to get another prom queen vote.' Berry

'Or maybe she's going to try and jump his bones since she seems to do that with just about everyone these days.' Artie.

She stopped dead. She was about to turn around when she heard another voice ring out; louder than all the others.

'Artie, you don't know shit! And Rachel, she does care about Sam, she cares about all of us! And Puck, I swear to god if you say one more word about her I will freak the fuck out!' Brittany.

She hadn't heard B cuss like that in a long time and she was genuinely happy, but then concerned for the influence she probably had in giving Brittany such a Sailor's mouth. She felt Britt walk up beside her; she didn't need to look to know it was her. Her smell, her body heat; Santana knew it all. They linked pinkies and Brittany said, 'Let's go find him.' They started walking around school and Santana was grateful that Britt was as forgiving as she was, because if she wasn't, the brunette would have lost her only friend a long time ago.

They found Sam hiding in the football locker room about ten minutes later. They knew they weren't supposed to be in there, but they also knew that that was where the jock would end up. As they sat down against the lockers in front of him, he didn't look up. Santana was almost positive that he didn't know who was there; he was probably expecting Quinn and Kurt, so when he saw the Latina and the blue eyed blonde, his eyes went wide, but then cold in the same second.

"Shouldn't you be off nailing Karofsky somewhere? " _Ouch, that kinda hurt _Santana thought, _but I kind of deserve that too. _

"Hey, don't talk to her like that! You have no idea what's going on with her just like none of us knew what was going on with you. So be fair about this stuff!" Brittany piped up, looking rather pleased with herself for sticking up for both the brunette and the blonde boy in front of her at the same time.

"Your right Britt, sorry San, I didn't mean that." Sam finally said, looking at Santana for the first time since they 'broke up'. "I'm just so mad. Like, nothing is going right and then all these rumors start flying around about me hooking up with Kurt and Quinn and it sucks you know? And then, and no offense, but to have you," he pointed at Santana, "just up and dump me without actually telling me you were dumping me kind of was just icing on the cake. I mean, I know our relationship started out as just a way to get back at Quinn, but did you really think it was ok to just do that to someone?"

Santana hadn't really thought too much about what she had done to Sam. She was so used to having boys as just something to play with until she got bored, she never really took into account how they felt about any of it. She thought about how she yelled at Artie for being mean to Brittany and she realized how big of a hypocrite she had been. _I hurt people all the time and I never get any of the backlash; maybe I should keep that in mind the next time around. _

They all sat there and talked for the rest of the hour, Sam explaining everything about his dad losing his job and them losing their house. Santana wasn't feeling any better about any of this because she honestly didn't even know he had a little brother or sister. She didn't know he was from Tennessee before he moved here or that he had gotten a job delivering pizzas. She didn't know anything about him and she felt terrible for just screwing him over when he probably needed someone to be there for him.

She slowly got up and balanced on the balls of her feet in front of him, grabbing both of his hands and looking up into his eyes. She never noticed that he had green eyes, and once again, even though she didn't think that it was possible, she felt worse. She wasn't sure how to apologize for all of the things going on with his family, so instead, she apologized for what she had done to him.

"Sam, one of these days you're going to find a girl who will give you all the things you're looking for, but me, I'm not that girl." Santana said as she watched him closely, "And honestly, I'm hoping that very soon you will understand why I did what I did. Not right now, but soon you will get why I left you and why I was a bitch when I did it." She had to take a deep breath to calm her already shaky resolve. She almost told him. She almost came out to him and told him everything, but she couldn't. She wasn't sure if she could trust him with that type of information. "And I'm sorry. I'm so sorry for doing that to you and I hope you know that you were a great boyfriend to me when we were together."

She gave his hand a light squeeze and stood up to leave. She grabbed Brittany's hands and pulled her up off the floor, leaving Sam with his thoughts and hoping her apology was enough.

"I thought you were about to tell him." Brittany said as they walked down the hall.

"I almost did." Santana said and then she remembered that she owed another person an apology. "And thank you, for sticking up for me back there, I feel like you do that a lot for me."

"Yea well, we protect each other, it's what we do." Santana didn't like hearing the blonde trying to justify why she had been nice when really she didn't deserve any of it.

"Hush. I just wanted to say thank you and also that I'm sorry about last night." She could see the anger flash in those blue eyes and yes, she felt even worse than she already did.

"I'm still mad at you for that, but I get it. I'm ok with waiting; I know you'll figure it out San…"

"And when I do, you'll be the first to know."

* * *

><p>It was right before her last class of the day when Jew Fro found her in a stair well. She had been particularly clear to Brittany to stay away from Jacob Israel and here he was tracking her down to discuss some rumors.<p>

"Any comment about the vicious rumor left on the MuckRaker website about you and Karofsky doing it in the backseat of a parked car in the Holier than Thou Cemetery?" _Ah hell, I forgot about that one!_

"No comment." _I'm so good at playing coy; like seriously, I should be an actress or something. _

"Any comment on the fact that when I looked up the IP address of the person who posted the rumor, I found out it was you." _Shit, think fast Jedi. Did I just say Jedi? Sam definitely rubbed off on me… _

"My computer was stolen." Santana threw at him as she spun around. She couldn't help but mumble in her head when she saw her best friend in the same hall. _Go freakin' figure, she's standing right across from us! _

Santana couldn't keep her eyes from bouncing back to look at the blonde every few seconds. She caught Brittany staring at her and she knew she needed to keep her reputation with Dave intact but it also made her feel like such a bitch for saying the things she was about to say.

"Look all I can say is that Dave and I are going strong and we're very excited about our Prom king and Queen Campaign." _Aw hell, she looks upset now. "_Vote San-Tofsky."

"So you two are in love? Soul mates so to speak?" _Love. Soul Mates._ Those words sent a shiver up Santana's spine when he said them. She and Britt had always said that they were Soul Mates, that they were supposed to be in each other's lives; it was fate. So when she looked at the girl across from her and back at Jacob, she hoped that B would understand that it was her she was talking about. That it was the blonde with the ocean blue eyes that she was referring to when she answered the question, but Britt still looked like Santana was driving a knife deeper and deeper into her heart the more she tried to play these silly games.

"Yea, I'd say that was accurate." And she turned away. She couldn't bear to see the look in Britt's eyes as she responded to the question. It made her own heart hurt to think that once again she didn't have the guts to come clean about the true nature of her and Dave's relationship and for the ump-teenth time in her life, she ran away.

* * *

><p><strong>That Afternoon<strong>

Brittany was in her bedroom, radio blasting, and taking down all the pictures of her and Artie that were still spread throughout the space. She couldn't look at them any longer; it felt like she was living a lie still seeing them up in her room. It made her wonder what Santana was going through by constantly having to keep up with her web of lies and deception. It was exhausting to even think about.

When a new song floated through the stereo, she had to stop and listen. It was a song Santana had told her to download a couple of weeks ago and she had never gotten around to actually listening to it. So while she continued to take down memories of the last 6 months of her life, she listened…

_..Sometimes I feel like throwing my hands up in the air…  
>..I know I can count on you…<br>..Sometimes I feel like saying "Lord I just don't care"…  
>..But you've got the love I need to see me through…<em>

_..Sometimes it seems that the going is just too rough…_  
><em>..And things go wrong no matter what I do…<em>  
><em>..Now and then it seems that life is just too much…<em>  
><em>..But you've got the love I need to see me through…<em>

_..When food is gone you are my daily meal…_  
><em>..When friends are gone I know my savior's love is real…<em>  
><em>..You know it's real…<em>

_..You got the love,_  
><em>..You got the love,<em>  
><em>..You got the love…<em>  
><em>..You got the love,<em>  
><em>..You got the love,<em>  
><em>..You got the love…<em>

She slowly walked over to her bedside table and picked up the frame that held the picture of Artie and her. After one quick glance, she grabbed the trash can and chucked it hard inside of it. She then grabbed the frame of Santana and her and moved it to the center of the table…

_..Time after time I think "Oh Lord what's the use?"…  
>..Time after time I think it's just no good …<br>..Cause sooner or later in life, the things you love you lose…  
>..But you got the love I need to see me through…<em>

_..You got the love,_  
><em>..You got the love,<em>  
><em>..You got the love…<em>  
><em>..You got the love,<em>  
><em>..You got the love,<em>  
><em>..You got the love…<em>

She was still sitting on her bed looking around at her now semi-vacant walls when she heard the knock on her window. She turned to see Santana perched on her front porch roof, a container of ice cream in one hand and a stack of movies in the other. She smiled at the brunette and went to open the window. Santana laughed lightly and said under her breath to the blonde, 'Mind if I come through your window?' before winking and climbing into her best friends room. 

_..Sometimes I feel like throwing my hands up in the air…_  
><em>..I know I can count on you…<em>  
><em>..Sometimes I feel like saying "Lord I just don't care"…<em>  
><em>..But you've got the love I need to see me through…<em>

_..You got the love,_  
><em>..You got the love,<em>  
><em>..You got the love…<em>  
><em>..You got the love,<em>  
><em>..You got the love,<em>  
><em>..You got the love…<em>

* * *

><p><strong>I hope you guys enjoyed this! I know I only really had one song in here, but I count Songbird as a song that should be added to any playlist! <strong>

**The song that I used was 'You got the Love' by Florence + the Machine. I know some of their stuff is a little out there, but some of it is amazing, like this song! I highly recommend it for anyone, it's just good stuff! **

**Ok, I know this was super long (20 pages in Word), but I really had a good time with this one. A little angst, a little fluff, and I had to put that part about 'Mind if I come through your window'. Just couldn't resist! **

**And I'm apologizing now for the next couple of weeks. I really have no idea when I'll update again, so keep faith, I will be back! Oh, and hearing from you guys always makes my day! E-mail alerts are the highlight of my day! :) **

**Until next time mi querida's, (my loves, my darlings, my dears)**

**-Kat**

**p.s. Just woke up and listened to Santana sing Back to Black. I'm kind of freaking out guys. That song doesn't sound like something you'd be singing if the love of your life finally began to (publically) love you back. Like I said, freakin out… **


	13. Author Interlude

Aight guys, I feel like I owe you a little author's note since it's been so long since I last updated. Shit has been crazy 'round here.

I'm home, for one, so hopefully I'll be getting a story busted out here soon. But I'm having serious writers block due to the last episode.

Also, I must confess, I'm having mixed feelings about this story now. I had this whole grand last three chapters planned and after last night, those plans are now SHOT to hell. So, now I'm having to literally re-write my last three chapters over, because I made them perfectly fluffed, leading to a BIG moment between them, only to get the 'we're best friends' line. UGH. But please, do not get my wrong, the ending was more than satisfactory, it was just a little too open ended for me. I wanted something more final, but now there's so many damn possibilities it's insane!

I'm sure my opinion of the episode would have been different if I hadn't read this AWESOME (please insert biggest sarcastic voice EVER) Tweet by HeMo about how she prefers the Britt/Artie story line, which, totally RUINED this for me. I read it RIGHT before the Britt/San scene at the end, and it totally turned me off for the moment. I know that's terrible, but it really has gotten to me a lot. So now, I'm trying to write this story without totally throwing Brittany off a bridge at the end of the last chapter.

Anywho, I'm going to try, really really hard, to finish the Prom Queen Chapter within the next few days… I need to just get out of my Brittana Funk. I'm thinking about starting another story; a story to vent these frustrations I have for my two faves. We shall see.

So, please bear with me while I get through my little funk and I promise a new chapter (or drabble) soon.

**Seriously though, you guys are awesome!**

Xoxo-Kat


	14. Chapter 14, Just a Kiss

**A/N: I don't know, we'll just see! All I know is that I made a promise to follow through with this story by what the Glee writers give me, so that is what I'll be doing. Granted, it will make it hard, but that's life I guess! Oh, and this is technically chapter 13, but I labeled it 14 just to keep it the same as on the drop down menu… I'm just OCD like that and like my numbers to match. So here's Prom! Enjoy!**

**p.s. super long. Like, 19 pages long. Sorry. Even though I'm kind of not. ;)**

* * *

><p><strong>Chapter 14<br>Just a Kiss**

It takes courage to grow up and become who you really are. -E.E. Cummings

* * *

><p>"I don't like this idea. I don't like it at all." Santana said as the last girl climbed into her very full car. Brittany was in the front seat, clearly enjoying the rule Santana had instated literally 20 minutes earlier that 'the best friend always gets shotgun'. So Tina and Lauren were in the back, clearly not enjoying being cramped into such a small space, but since Santana hated riding in other people's cars, they all agreed to let her drive.<p>

"What's not to like?" Tina said from the back seat, the dress bag folded neatly over her lap. "Kurt has the best fashion sense out of all of us, his approval is like Jesus." Santana gave her a glare in the rearview, not quite understanding how Kurt was like Jesus, but deciding to let it slide. Lauren was still complaining about not having a dress yet, and Santana's features softened as she listened.

"Seriously guys, you all have these rockin' bodies. I bet not one of you has ever walked into a store and not been able to find at least one thing that fits you." It was true. Santana had never had that problem, and she knew neither had Britt, both girls were blessed with amazing bodies. She almost opened her mouth to give Lauren a few kind words before Tina beat her to the punch.

"Lauren, seriously, you're gonna rock whatever dress Kurt finds for you. No worries…" And with that, the car fell silent. They were meeting Kurt at school to do a 'dry run' as he called it; letting him see their choices and giving him full reign to cut them down if he didn't like it. Santana didn't like the idea of having him badger her over her dress choice, but she was fairly confident that her ensemble would pass his scrutiny. She had spent a good week trying to find the perfect dress and when she put on the red one with roses down the neck, she knew she had found the one. Regardless of what the Kurt Hummel Fashion Police said, she was wearing her red dress.

* * *

><p>Brittany was sitting quietly in the front seat, not really listening to the conversations around her. She was more interested in the way the air conditioner was swirling Santana's perfume around in the car, leaving her head spinning and causing her to unconsciously move closer to the brunette. Thank God for the center console or she would have been in the Latina's lap already, greedily inhaling the familiar and comforting scent of her best friend.<p>

Things had almost gotten back to normal with them. They hadn't slept together, in a sexual way, since the weekend they had spent at Santana's. It was a mutual thing, something they both felt that needed to happen to keep them on solid ground. Brittany still wasn't over the Artie breakup; no matter how many times she watched movies or listened to music or cried or ate ice cream or cuddled with Santana, the small sense of loss always found its way back to the insides of her mind. The words 'if Artie and I were to ever break up, and I'm lucky enough that you're single, I'm yours, proudly so…' played over and over in Brittany's head every day, which only made it worse that she still didn't feel like she was ready to make a play at Santana. And she knew for sure that Santana wasn't ready for that either, regardless of the songs she sang or the words she spoke.

It was the never ending cycle that was breaking her down. They could have it all; she knew that. They could be sitting here holding hands on the center console, laughing and enjoying their time with their friends, but instead Santana's hands were firmly on the wheel while Britt's were clasped in her lap. All at once, it became too much. She felt like she couldn't breathe and began to feel the first signs of a panic attack. Almost as if Santana could read her mind, the brunette jammed her hand on the control panel on her driver's side door and the windows began to roll down. Santana ignored the protests from the girls in the back, and Brittany sucked in the fresh air that entered the car, helping her clear her mind.

The blonde could feel Santana's eyes on her occasionally, and she glanced over and gave her a reassuring smile before grabbing the volume knob and cranking up the radio. She needed a distraction and music was it; this song was perfect, the best anthem out there for the way she was feeling at that moment.

_..According to you,  
>..I'm stupid, I'm useless,<br>..I can't do anything right…  
>..According to you,<br>..I'm difficult, hard to please,  
>..Forever changing my mind…<em>

_..I'm a mess in a dress,  
>..Can't show up on time,<br>..Even if it would save my life…  
>..According to you. ..<br>..According to you…_

Everyone in the car was shouting the lyrics; all of them, in some way, shape, or form, could perfectly relate to this song.

_..But according to him,  
>..I'm beautiful, incredible,<br>..He can't get me out of his head…  
>..According to him,<br>..I'm funny, irresistible,  
>..Everything he ever wanted…<br>..Everything is opposite,  
>..I don't feel like stopping it,<br>..So baby tell me what I got to lose…  
>..He's into me for everything I'm not,<br>..According to you…_

_..According to you,  
>..I'm boring, I'm moody,<br>..You can't take me any place…  
>..According to you,<br>..I suck at telling jokes, cause I always give it away…  
>..I'm the girl with the worst attention span;<br>..You're the boy who puts up with it…  
>..According to you…<br>.. According to you…_

_..But according _to her,_  
>..I'm beautiful, incredible,<br>..She can't get me out of her head…  
>..According to her,<br>..I'm funny, irresistible,  
>..Everything she ever wanted…<br>..Everything is opposite,  
>..I don't feel like stopping it,<br>..So baby tell me what I got to lose?  
>..She's into me for everything I'm not,<br>..According to you…_

Brittany hadn't realized she had changed the lyrics half way through the song, substituting the word 'her' for 'him' at all the right parts. Everyone else in the car had noticed and was now staring at the blonde from the driver's side and back seats. She was really getting into the song, bobbing her head and screaming the lyrics, and for the first time she was realizing how much better off she was without the boy in the wheel chair.

_..I need to feel appreciated,  
>..Like I'm not hated. oh no…<br>..Why can't you see me through her eyes?  
>..It's too bad you're making me decide…<em>

During the music break in the song, all eyes turned to Santana. Tina's eyes were knowing, while Lauren's were confused, but also starting to look like she was beginning to understand…

_..According to me,  
>..You're stupid, you're useless,<br>..You can't do anything right…_

_..But according to her,  
>..I'm beautiful, incredible,<br>..She can't get me out of her head…  
>..According to her,<br>..I'm funny, irresistible,  
>..Everything she ever wanted…<br>..Everything is opposite,  
>..I don't feel like stopping it,<br>..Baby tell me what I got to lose...  
>..She's into me for everything I'm not,<br>..According to you…  
>..According to you…<em>

.._According to you,_  
><em>..I'm stupid, I'm useless,<em>  
><em>..I can't do anything right…<em>

* * *

><p>Santana didn't know what was worse, Brittany singing the wrong lyrics for everyone in the car to hear, or the fact that her heart ached because all she wanted was to grab her hand and actually show everyone in the car that she felt the same way. In a move that surprised them all, she reached across the console and grabbed Britt's hand. She pulled their clasped hands and let them rest on the center console between them. She took a few deep breaths and glanced sideways to see a full blown grin on Brittany's face. It made her heart fly to see just how potent a hand hold could be for the blonde.<p>

They sat like that for a minute or so, neither girl caring about the looks passing between the two in the back seat. They were getting close to school when she felt another hand hit the top of theirs; when she looked down, it was Tina's. She gave them a pat on their intertwined fingers and whispered "About time…" before sitting back in the seat with a small smile on her face…

* * *

><p>Brittany was on cloud nine. Even after they had gotten out of the car, her heart was still racing from the one tiny gesture in the car. She couldn't imagine what she would be feeling if that was an everyday occurrence. She had to correct her previous thoughts about not wanting to make a play for Santana; she was ready. She was ready to love that girl until her heart and body and soul couldn't love her any more. She had never felt so sure in her entire life that she was ready for this.<p>

She had said it before, said that she was willing and able, but for the first time, she actually felt it. She could feel it all the way to her bones. After all of the bullshit, after all of the yelling and tears, she felt ready. Now, she knew she was going to play the waiting game. She knew that the hand hold in the car was tough for San, so she wasn't going to push, but she was going to tell the brunette. She wanted Santana to know that she was ready for an 'us', what she wasn't sure of was when that 'us' would happen.

She had to quit thinking about it because it was time to try on dresses. Tina went first, sporting a black gown that, even though it was black, looked perfect on her. It was just so Tina. Britt went second, bouncing out from behind the curtain with a short yellow dress on. She always loved yellow because it made her pale features look a little tanner. She would never admit that, of course, so instead she said she chose it because it matched her hair. _Perfect Britt comment _she thought as she bowed to a round of applause. When she looked up, she caught the stare.

Santana was literally undressing her with her eyes. Brittany blushed when she saw San run her tongue over the bottom of her full lips as her eyes raked up and down the blonde's body. Santana's eyes finally reached her face and she winked before jumping up from the couch and running behind the curtain to try on her own dress.

Brittany plopped down in the spot Santana had just vacated and was once again surrounded by the Latina's perfume and had barely noticed Lauren or her dress, and was only there enough to make a small comment before escaping back into her own little world. It was Santana's turn and that's all that occupied her attention at that moment. The blonde was interested in what she had chosen because San had kept it a secret from her since she had gotten the dress.

Santana then jumped out from behind the curtain, her hair down around her face and the silky red dress draped snugly around her curvy body. Brittany had to keep her jaw from hitting the ground, and instead went for a goofy grin and small clap before turning her face away. _Jesus Britt you're blushing, your freaking ears are so red, you're so busted! _She was actually laughing in her mind because she had once again caught herself gawking at Santana and the brunette had noticed.

"Devil in a red dress, perfect. And it's totally appropriate for your personality." Kurt was approving of the dress, which of course made a bigger smile appear on San's face. _She loves compliments; I guess that's something I've never noticed before. "_I have no criticisms, go with God Satan, I mean Santana. Now, if you ladies excuse me, I have to pull options for my own Prom outfit."

This was news to the girls; no one even knew that Kurt was going to prom. Santana, of course, had something to say about it.

"Wait so you're going? Stag? That's just tragic." She said with a devious smile on her face which was quickly wiped away with Kurt's response.

"Yes I'm going, and not alone." He spun around to face the rest of the girls to finish, "With Blaine."

Brittany was happy for Kurt, but she saw the flash in Santana's eyes when this news was delivered. She could tell something about this bothered Santana and in her heart of hearts she knew that it was because she was too scared to do exactly what the boy was choosing to do so bravely.

She heard Santana say she needed to ask Kurt something and even though she tried not to listen, she heard San say something about Prom Queen and getting more votes and decided she didn't want to hear any more. She was so tired of this prom queen game that the brunette was playing. She had never once heard Santana mention wanting to be prom queen until just a few weeks ago and now it was all she talked about. Brittany wasn't sure if it was acceptance that the Latina was looking for or just a boost to her already touchy social status, but one thing she was sure of, she wanted prom to be over so she wouldn't have to worry about it anymore.

* * *

><p>"Everything looks good. No gay protests or rainbow flags being lit on fire down this way." She was getting tired of Dave not caring about this job. It was important, not only for their prom royalty votes, but also for Kurt.<p>

"Are you finished talking?" This part of the conversation was completely unnecessary, but she felt the need to annoy the boy a bit.

"Yea?" _He sounds confused and pissed…perfect. _

"Well when you're finished talking you should say over." She was only saying this to piss him off. And she totally knew how to get under this guys' skin. They had been together for a few weeks and she knew all the right 'gay' buttons to push to make him do anything. Like walk down the hall in that horrible red jacket and hat and make sure no one was doing anything outrageous to another student. She didn't even hear his response, she was more concerned for the boy on her right, who was also looking rather annoyed and pissed off himself.

_Why does everyone get mad at me when I'm just trying to help? Jesus, gratitude people, gratitude. _

"Alright lady lips, all clear." Santana said as she led Kurt down the hall. "Team Gay, you may now proceed to the next check point without fear of violence." She had raised her voice for others to hear, but it also helped drown out the voice in her head telling her that it was _literally_ a team of gay kids walking down the hall protecting each other. She actually kind of liked the thought after it had processed; She didn't feel so alone, she didn't feel outnumbered when she had Kurt or Dave by her side.

"Why are you speaking so loud?" Of course Kurt would notice and then call her out on it.

"I'm the law and order prom queen candidate," She liked the 'law and order' candidate instead of the 'dyke gay lesbian' candidate. "Here to protect every student at this school from harassment… Did she?" Some girl had just strong shouldered Kurt and it took everything in Santana to not turn around and rip the girls' hair out. She was having these little moments of anger flash up a lot lately and she wanted someone to take it out on. But before she could get anything more from Kurt, he was walking down the hall away from her, obviously more comfortable at being alone than she could ever be.

She found Britt in the hall just a few minutes later, looking slightly annoyed and then Santana could see why. Artie had just caught sight of Santana and whipped his chair around to leave before it could get violent. Santana raced over the Brittany, looking at her for an explanation, but only got a sigh.

"Well, what was that about?" Santana tried to keep the venom from her voice, but she did not like Artie being anywhere near Brittany.

"He was just asking what class I had next San, no big deal." She seemed like she wanted to say more, so the brunette waited. "You know though, after dating me for 7 months, you'd think he'd remember what fucking classes I had considering he took me to each one of them every fucking day."

The curse word floored Santana; the girl in front of her never said that word unless she was extremely unhappy about something and she didn't like that it was being said because of McCripple Pants. _Seriously, _she thought, _I have some of the best nicknames for people. _She wasn't sure what to say because she knew that cutting the boy down didn't help the situation. Santana could see the emotions playing across Brittany's face as they stood in the hall. The first was anger, which was quickly replaced by a sadness that Santana could feel to her core; if Britt was sad, she was sad, and she just couldn't have that. So instead of taking a dig at the boy, she decided that she would once again show the blonde just how important she was to her. It wasn't much, but the fact that Santana knew Britt's schedule almost better than her own should give her a few more brownie points with the blonde.

"Don't worry about it B," She said, looping her arm through the blonde's, "I'll walk you to Home-Ec..."

* * *

><p>One time, when Brittany was 12, she had tried to cook popcorn. Easy right? Just take the little plate thing and put it in the microwave, hit the 'popcorn' button, and Boom! Popcorn! Well, if only she knew the difference between the kind that goes on the stove and the kind that went in the microwave. She had actually caught half the kitchen on fire after the foil in the stove top kind had ignited in the microwave. Thank God her mom had been there, or the house, along with her, would have gone up in a pool of flames. That was the last time Brittany had attempted to cook. She was now more of a soup and sandwich kind of girl because recipes were confusing and the fear of another fire kept her from doing anything more elaborate.<p>

And this was why she hated her Home Economics class. She didn't want to learn to sew things because her mom could fix anything and didn't need another pot holder made out of yarn. She didn't want to learn how to make cupcakes because the place called Delish Bakery downtown had the best Red Velvet Cupcakes with Cream Cheese icing that you could ever put in your mouth. But in school, as in life, you can't always get what you want.

"Just crack the egg." Now, as stated before, Brittany wasn't stupid, but she had also never read anything about a chicken's reproductive process. She didn't get that a female chicken would have eggs regardless if there was a Rooster there to make a regular egg into a baby chicken egg. So, she questioned the authority of Ms. Hadburg, trying hard to seem innocent but also genuinely concerned that a baby chicken would poke its head through that egg at any moment.

"I just don't understand the difference between an egg with a baby chicken inside of it, and an egg with an egg in it." She wasn't looking for Tina's smart ass comment either, she actually wanted to know. But once again, no one would give her a straight answer.

"They're the same thing." _Obviously it's not Tina! _Was all she could think before deciding that that wasn't the best way to respond.

"Ok, that's really confusing because, this is a baby chicken's house." _Well it is, isn't it? I mean, they come out of eggs? _She didn't even care about what Kurt was saying, so instead she took the egg and put it in her apron pocket, wrapped neatly in a towel, and would take it to lunch and make Santana explain it to her.

She was done with this class for the day. She didn't want to be here, she didn't want to make anymore nasty food, and she for sure didn't want to see Artie wheeling himself through the door.

"Excuse me Miss Hadburg, I need to say something." He wheeled himself right over to Brittany's side, and she couldn't help but stare at her hands as he started talking. "Brittany, I was a jerk to you." _You Think! _"And I want to make it up to you with a song so maybe you'll consider going to prom with me. "

_He's joking right? _Brittany couldn't believe what she was hearing and Kurt sounding all optimistic behind her made her want to turn around and throw an egg at his head. She was waiting for Artie to say what he needed to say, but instead, he started to sing.

_..Isn't she lovely…  
>..Isn't she wonderful…<br>..I never thought through love we'd be …_

'Oh hell no' she thought as she got up to go make herself look busy. She was not sitting here, listening to this boy sing a love song to her after what he had said to her in the hallway that past week.

_..Making one as lovely as she…  
>..But isn't she lovely made from love…<em>

She thought maybe he wouldn't follow, so she made a break for the door but was soon blocked by the rest of the boys from glee. She had never felt her face burn as red as it was right now…

_...Isn't she pretty…_

"Oh my god…" She seriously wanted to rip her hair out. It was sweet, it was, him serenading her in front of everyone, but this was just too much…

_..Truly the angel's best…  
>..Boy, I'm so happy…<br>..We have been heaven blessed…  
>..I can't believe what God has done…<br>..Through us he's given life to one…  
>..But isn't she lovely made from love…<em>

She was hoping he was done, but then the whole group started to sing, and once again she felt trapped.

_..Isn't she lovely…  
>..Life and love are the same…<em>

She started to clap along with the song because it was catchy, but mostly because she knew the boy wasn't going to be happy after his performance and she wanted to give him something.

_..Londie, it could have not been done …  
>..Without you who conceived the one …<br>..That's so very lovely made from love..._

She clapped after he finished, but it was more out of annoyance than appreciation at this point. The eye roll should have made it clear that she was not pleased, but then she forgot that she was looking at Artie and not someone who knew her well enough to see that annoyance. _He's not Santana, that's for sure… _

"So?" He looked so damn pleased with himself; as if one little song could change the hurtful thing he had said to her.

"Artie, that was lovely," She wanted to tell him that it was a nice gesture, but it was a little too late. "But, I'm not gonna go to prom with you. You called me stupid, and I really didn't like that. So, I'm sorry but I'm gonna go to prom by myself and really work on me and dance with other people's dates."

"I understand." He didn't look like he understood; he looked like she had just run him over with a Mack truck. "I hope you know how sorry I am."

She couldn't think of a better response, so she only gave him a small "Yea…" before he turned around and left the room, his shoulders hunched in on himself. Artie turned at the door once more to look at Britt, and somewhere deep inside the confines of her heart, she felt the last pieces of Artie she was clinging to fall away.

She was grateful for his performance. It finally let her let him go. She didn't realize she had been holding on to a small piece of 'them' until that moment, and feeling it fall away was a relief. She let out a big breath and glanced to see the entire room staring at her.

"You seriously just passed on prom with a guy who sang a song to you in front of people who aren't in Glee? Britt, what in the hell is wrong with you?" It was Kurt, once again poking his all too fabulous noise into her business. She wanted to tell him to piss off, but instead just gave him a small shrug before reaching for her phone and texting the one person she needed to tell most.

_Choir room. After this period.-B_

* * *

><p>"He did what?" Santana was fuming. Actually, fuming isn't the right word, more like that Eminem song, when a tornado meets a volcano. Right. That was the correct term for the brunette as she paced in front of Brittany, who was sprawled out over a couple of chairs in the choir room, holding the bridge of her noise between her thumb and index finger.<p>

"San, calm down, I told him no." Santana stopped short of her pacing; this was not what she was expecting to hear. She thought B had called her to the room because she was going to tell her that she was back with Artie and that they were going to prom together, but instead she felt her heart get a little lighter with this new information.

"Really?" Her voice sounded a little too hopeful and she heard Brittany let out a sigh before sitting up in her seat and facing the brunette. "Really. I don't care if the boy bought me a BMW and a diamond ring, I'm not going to prom with him." She said, still looking at Santana as if to say, _Duh dumbass!_

They both sat there for a few more minutes, not really saying anything, but Santana noticed a small amount of tension that began to build. She hadn't noticed before, but Brittany was still staring at her, waiting for something that the brunette couldn't figure out. Finally, another deep breath, and Brittany spoke.

"Are you going to prom with him?" She didn't have to say his name, they both knew who she was referring to. _Karofsky._ Even in the confines of either girl's minds, the name sounded wrong and out of place. Santana wanted to say no, she wanted to tell Britt that she was taking her and that no one else mattered, but her fear was still ever present, pushing her back a step after taking so many forward.

"Yea B, he's my boyfriend and my running mate for Prom King and Queen, I have to go with him." She said it and it felt like sandpaper on her tongue. Not once had she and Britt completely discussed their prom plans, but after the day the blonde had had, Santana should have known it was coming. She looked up to see Brittany heading for the door; it surprised her how fast she had gotten there.

"Brittany! Hold up a sec!" Santana lurched after her, grabbing the girl by her elbow and spinning her around. It was then that she saw the tears swimming just behind those blue eyes. "Are you… Britt, look at me. Are you mad?" She wasn't expecting the shove to the chest and stumbled backwards, not really sure what had just happened.

Then she realized Brittany was pushing her, shoving her hard in the shoulders and on the arms, and the tears that were threatening to spill earlier were now running down the pale cheeks. "Yes I'm mad! I want to go to prom with you! WITH YOU SAN!" She was still pushing the brunette, but the fight was slowly leaving her body. "You, Santana, not Artie, or _Dave_ or any of those other boys, just you!" She was throwing Santana's words back at her from the day at their lockers when she had begged Britt to love her back.

Brittany was now sobbing and it was taking less muscle from the Latina to stop her attack. She was mumbling about how prom queen doesn't matter and how it was ruining everything; Santana didn't catch most of it, she was still in shock over the violent outburst, something she had never seen from Brittany before. "I'm sorry," The blonde croaked out, trying to regain her composure. "I know how important this is to you San, for whatever reason, but, I just wish things were different, that's all…"

And with that she turned and walked out, leaving Santana staring at the door wondering why in the hell she wasn't chasing after her.

* * *

><p>Brittany was in her room, yellow dress on, when her mom came in. "Babe, you look so pretty!" Marcia said as she took in her daughter who was standing in front of her full length mirror. "Thanks mom…" she said as she took in her own reflection. She had been pretty confident about going to prom alone, but now, an hour before it was going to start, she was wondering if she should have just accepted Artie's offer. Not because she still liked him, but more because she just wanted to have someone's hand in her own when she walked into the gym.<p>

"Well, I think you made a great choice on the dress, brings out your eyes." Her mom had always been there to flood her with compliments, but they just didn't land right with Brittany, who finally turned to look at her mom for the first time. There was a small smile playing at the edge of her mouth, a look that Brittany had inherited from her, and she knew that something was up, but before she could ask, she was cut off.

"Well, I'm going to head back downstairs, let me know if you want me to drive you or if you're going to drive yourself! I want pictures first though, so get down here soon!" and with a flip of her hair, she was leaving the room. The younger blonde stood there for a few more moments before turning back to the mirror; she started at her feet, looking up the length of her body in the reflection. When she got to her own face, she noticed another person standing behind her. She flipped around to see Santana standing in her doorway. A whoosh of air left her lungs as she took in the sight of the girl in front of her.

_I don't think it's possible for her to look any more amazing than she does right now. _

Santana's hair was pinned back, allowing full access to her face; her brown eyes looked a little nervous and there was a slight blush to her cheeks that only made her even more dazzling. The roses from her dress clung close to her throat before swooping across her collarbone, the rest of the dress clinging to her curvy frame as if it was made especially for her. There was no denying it… she looked beautiful.

"Um, I don't know if it's ok that I came or not," The brunette started, obviously nervous to be there since her and Britt hadn't talked since their fight, "but, I really wanted to give you this before you got to prom." She had a small box in her hand that Brittany had just noticed and was opening it for her to see. Resting on a bed of satin was a red corsage. "I know it doesn't match your dress, but…"

"It matches yours…" Brittany finished for her. This was almost it. This was almost the moment that Brittany had been wanting for the past two years; Santana admitting to the world that she was hers. Like she said, it was almost it, it wasn't quite, but it was close. She saw Santana's blush travel all the way down her neck as she whispered a small "yea" before grabbing the flowers and putting it on Brittany's wrist. She knew she would have to change her white heels for a pair of red ones, but conveniently she had a pair, so she didn't mind. She wanted to match Santana as much as her accessories would allow. Brittany twisted her wrist to see the flowers better and when she looked up, Santana was staring at her with an unreadable expression.

"I just…" Santana was struggling to say something, so the blonde stayed quiet, waiting, and saw her best friend swallow hard before continuing, "You said how you were going to dance with everyone's dates, so, save one for me. I just, I wanted you to know that I'm saving my last dance for you, so, look for me when that happens, ok?" She finally looked up to meet Brittany's eyes, deep brown and crystal blue, and Brittany couldn't stop herself from throwing her arms around Santana's neck and squeezing as tightly as she could. They stayed like that for what felt like hours, both girls feeling the relief flood from their bodies as they once again made up from another fight.

Brittany was pulled from her reverie when she looked over to see her mom standing in the doorway. She had her camera in hand, and with a slight nod, she pulled away just long enough for her mom to snap a candid picture of them. Santana didn't see or hear it, so she had no idea that Britt's mom was standing there, and she did something that neither blonde was expecting. She leaned in and pressed a quick, but passionate kiss to Brittany's lips before pulling her in for another hug.

She felt San's lips graze her ear as she whispered, "You look so beautiful tonight Britt… so so beautiful."

She released the blonde and turned to leave, almost barreling over Marcia who still stood in the doorway. Santana's ears turned scarlet, but before she could even mumble out an apology, Marcia had her in her arms, giving her a fierce hug. The brunette was shocked at first, not expecting that reaction after being caught kissing this woman's daughter, but then collapsed into the hug. Brittany couldn't help but smile at the sight of them and broke into a full grin when she heard her mother whisper in Santana's ear, "You look stunning tonight Santana, absolutely beautiful."

If it were possible, Santana's face got even redder as she pulled away from the hug, nodding a thank you to Marcia before skating by and heading out the door.

Brittany's head was still spinning from the kiss when she heard her mom clear her throat. She still had her camera in hand and walked across the room to show Britt the picture she had just taken. The picture took their breath away. Both girls had their arms still wrapped around each other and their faces were only inches apart, their dresses not clashing, but complimenting each others' skin tone. They were staring at each other, Santana's eyes looking up through her lashes, obviously contemplating if it was ok to kiss Brittany while the blonde's eyes were shining a brighter shade than she had ever seen. It was so many things: amazing, sensual, loving. But, in one word, it was happiness.

* * *

><p>Prom was in full swing by the time Santana had gotten there. She met up with Dave outside and they strolled in together, taking their picture before going out on the dance floor. She was still very overwhelmed by the moment that had happened at Brittany's, but she knew she needed to focus on winning Prom queen. The two beards had discussed their plan; just look happy and play their part and the crown would be theirs by the end of the night.<p>

They danced along with the music, occasionally stopping to get drinks or mingle with some of the football players or Glee clubbers. Prom was almost everything she thought it would be. She had a date, who happened to be on prom court, she was on prom court, and she still had her perfect façade up for everyone to see. But she still felt empty, incomplete almost, as she felt Dave wrap his arms around her waist when Berry started to sing.

_..No, I can't take one more step towards you…  
>..'Cause all that's waiting is regret…<br>..Don't you know I'm not your ghost anymore…  
>..You lost the love I loved the most…<em>

_..I learned to live, half alive…  
>..And now you want me one more time…<em>

Santana had never heard this song before and now was not the time to hear it. She was trying hard to keep up this front, but after a quick look at Dave, who looked equally uncomfortable, she had to occupy her mind with something else… with someone else. She glanced around the dance floor and her eyes landed on her best friend. She was dancing with some girl, Ashley was it?, from Cheerios, and Santana felt a quick pang of jealousy rush through her body. She hadn't been listening to the song, but when she made eye contact with Brittany, she was listening again…

_..And who do you think you are?_  
><em>..Runnin' 'round leaving scars…<em>  
><em>..Collecting your jar of hearts…<em>  
><em>..And tearing love apart…<em>  
><em>..You're gonna catch a cold…<em>  
><em>..From the ice inside your soul…<em>  
><em>..Don't come back for me…<em>  
><em>..Don't come back at all…<em>

_..Who do you think you are?...  
>..Who do you think you are?...<br>..Who do you think you are?..._

* * *

><p><em>Aw hell, I need to get on stage! <em>It was her turn to do her number, but all she could think about was the looks she got from Santana during that last song. She wasn't really focused on her performance; she was more intrigued by the way Santana had slowly begun to distance herself from Karofsky during the song and kept her eyes mostly on Britt. It made B feel better to know that the words of the song were piercing Santana, just like she had planned. It wasn't intentional, Blaine had chosen this song, but after hearing it, Britt thought it was pretty much perfect…

_..You are the girl that I've been dreaming of ever since I was a little girl…_

_..The word's on the streets and it's on the news…  
>..I'm not gonna teach him how to dance with you...<br>..He's got two left feet and it bites my moves…  
>..I'm not gonna teach him how to dance, dance, dance, dance…<em>

_..The second I do, I know we're gonna be through…  
>..I'm not gonna teach him how to dance with you...<br>..He don't suspect a thing. I wish he'd get a clue…  
>..I'm not gonna teach him how to dance, dance, dance, dance<em> …

Before they could even finish their performance, a fight broke out in the middle of the dance floor. Brittany's eyes never left Santana as the Latina made her way through the crowd toward the fight. She wasn't sure what she was doing, but Santana getting kicked out of prom was not something she wanted to happen. Luckily, before San could get there, Coach broke it up and kicked Finn and Jesse out. Granted, she knew that Quinn would be upset because of this, but at that moment, B was just happy that Santana didn't get herself involved.

The blonde jumped from the stage and found herself starting to get frantic looking for her best friend. She finally saw her and Quinn standing in the corner and they looked as if they were about to start getting physical with one another, but as she got closer, she noticed that Santana was restraining Quinn. Britt decided to leave them alone because it was time for the prom queen and king crowning and knew the two girls would be going backstage anyway. She would see them both after, and she knew she would have to be comforting at least one of them. Once again, another reason she wanted this whole prom queen mess to be over.

* * *

><p>Santana was back stage trying to fix Quinn's make up before they went on stage for one of them to be crowned Queen. She knew it was between her and Quinn, it always had been and it always would be. They would forever be competing for the top spot and this was no different, but Quinn was still her friend, regardless of their past, and she was going to help her until the spot light was on them. They only had a few moments when Quinn finally spoke directly to Santana instead of yelling about how Rachel needed to go back to the chocolate factory and quit ruining her life.<p>

"Good Luck San…"She said, pulling the brunette in for a quick hug, "but, I hope I still win." And with a devious smile and a wink, she dropped into line behind Santana and walked out on stage. Santana wasn't nervous, she had no reason to be. Yesterday, Jacob's poll had her and Quinn neck and neck, and after a few well placed threats, she was on her way to wearing that crown. She hadn't heard much of Figgins' opening remarks, but she started to pay attention.

"…And this years junior prom king is, David Karofsky." _Hell to the yes, that is my SHIT right there! _

"You suck so bad Quinn Fabray, I won!" She yelled down the row as she clapped furiously for _her man_ being crowned this years' Prom King. She meant it in the most loving way possible when she yelled at Q, but she meant every word of it. She was no longer nervous, she knew she had won.

Figgins' was taking way too long for the brunette, who almost just started walking up the stage to take the crown she knew was now hers. "And now, the 2011 McKinley high Prom Queen, with an overwhelming number of write in votes, is," _Wait, write in votes? My name was on the ballot? _"Kurt Hummel. "

Her heart dropped, and it wasn't for the reason you probably think it was. Her heart dropped through her feet because she knew that this was a cruel joke. She knew that this was a way to further humiliate the boy who had brought his boyfriend to the prom in hopes that people were starting to accept him. She now felt that fear that had subsided for the last week begin to creep into her body, and when she made eye contact with Brittany in the crowd, she knew that she could see it too.

Soon after Kurt had run from the gym, she herself was running off stage. She felt terrible for Kurt, but she also knew that her entire plan, everything that had ripped her and Britt apart countless times, was for nothing. She still didn't have the crown that would give her the girl. All of these thoughts were running through her mind as she raced through the halls, hearing a graceful pair of heels clicking behind her as she went. She burst through the first office door she could find unlocked and began to cry.

* * *

><p>"How could my running mate win and I didn't. I mean, just because I hate everybody doesn't mean they have to hate me too." Brittany wasn't sure what to say to that, because it was an obvious thing that people didn't like Santana, but she knew she couldn't say that, so instead she went the sympathy route.<p>

"It's just a stupid crown, you could buy it at the party store." In fact, Brittany had bought a crown for Santana to wear, just in case she didn't win. She had left it outside, hidden under the bleachers in their special spot, and now would have been the best time to grab it, but she couldn't leave her best friend here after losing.

"I'm gonna be an outsider my whole life. Can't I just have one night where I'm the queen, where I'm accepted?" Brittany wasn't sure if they were talking about being prom queen anymore or not, because even though she was a bitch, she was accepted. The only reason Santana would say this was if she was referring to her sexuality, and watching her fall apart like this over a stupid crown proved to Brittany that she was terrified of the stupid people roaming the halls of this stupid school in this stupid town.

_Fuck them._

"As soon as I get to New York, I'm bailing to live in a lesbian colony, or TriBeCa." _Haha, there's my friend. She'll be ok… _

"Seriously though San, it was just a crown." She was going to try to make her feel better, even though she was more concerned as to why this crown was more important to her than other things. "You still have senior year, and maybe by then, people will know you better and then maybe they'll vote for you." She could still see the look in Santana's eye, the disappointment, so she continued. "What happened tonight was a fluke, it was a bunch of people who were trying to make Kurt feel like shit… and they succeeded. Why would you want to win queen by votes from a bunch of people who suck that much? Who are that mean?"

It was more of a rhetorical question, and when Santana turned and faced her for the first time and answered, she was rendered speechless.

"I wanted it for you! Ok? I wanted to win because then it wouldn't matter what people thought because we would be back on top, where we belong, and no one could touch us! I would be queen of this school and no one would be able to stop us from being happy!" Brittany was rooted to her spot by the doorway, unable to think straight after the speech she had just heard. She wasn't upset, not at all, just surprised that Santana hadn't spilled her guts sooner. Usually if Santana wanted something, she would drag Brittany in to it so they could tag team it together, so the fact that her best friend had kept this from her for so long surprised the hell out of her.

"San," Brittany walked up to her, trying to get her to talk to her. "Santana, hey…" She reached out and pushed a lock of hair behind the brunette's ear that had come lose during her small melt down. "I don't care about any of that, ok? I'm just waiting on you babe, and when you give the word, I'm yours. But not until you're ready, and not until you're out, because I'm not gonna play any closet games with you, ok?"

She could tell she had caught Santana off guard with her confession, but it felt good to have it all out in the open. She could see Santana's eyes looking at the ground and she started to pace, still fuming but also contemplating what the blonde had said.

"They must have sensed that I was a lesbian, I mean they must of, do I smell like a golf course?" Brittany didn't miss the fact that Santana had said the word lesbian without cringing. It made Britt feel a little more confident knowing that the girl in front of her was starting to actually joke about her sexuality instead of hiding behind it, but the question was serious, so Brittany took it as so.

"They don't know what you're hiding, they just, they know that you're not being yourself." Which was true. Since when did Santana Lopez get slushied and not retaliate, or not slushy or punch someone, or physically or emotionally attack someone on a daily basis? Never, that's when. "If you were to embrace all of the awesome-ness that you are, you would've won." And it was true, Brittany knew it down to the tips of her toes that if the old Santana would come back and embrace who she was, she would have won tonight. Brittany was always in awe of that old Santana and she knew that other people were too.

"How do you know?" _She seems so small, so unsure of herself._ Brittany thought as she watched those brown eyes closely. She decided to just go for it and tell Santana exactly why she would have won.

"Because I voted for you… and because I believe in you Santana." It was the truest thing that Brittany had ever said. It was like saying the sky is blue and grass is green. It was just true. She did believe in Santana, she believed in Santana more than any other person in the world, and the dark headed girl needed to know that. She saw San take a deep breath and let out a huff before continuing.

"This prom sucks." Britt could do nothing but shrug, because she completely agreed. "Now what am I supposed to do?" Brittany knew the answer to this because Santana needed to see how it was done, and by a pro. She needed to see how strong Kurt was and know that she was even stronger than that.

"Go back out there and be there for Kurt. This is going to be a lot harder for him than it is for you." She handed over a Kleenex and ended up fixing Santana's make up for her. They stood in that office for a few more minutes, just making small talk while Santana calmed down enough to go back into that gym. Before they left the office, Santana reached for Brittany and pulled her in for a hug.

"I don't think you know how much you mean to me sometimes Britt…" Santana said, trying to keep the moment casual but also meaning every word. Before she could pull away from the hug, Brittany gripped her tighter and put her lips right at her ear, "Almost as much as you mean to me..." And with that, they left the office and walked back into the gym, both with a new look to them, and the crowd parted to let them through. It was like they were caring their old HBIC swag with them, and they knew they were on their way back up.

"I have to go sing," Santana said as Kurt had the crown placed onto his head. "I think this is the last song of the night Britt, so I guess we won't get that dance after all. Maybe next year, yea?" And with that, she walked to the stage, slapping a confident look to her already confident swag. _Damn that ass in that damn dress! _Brittany thought as Kurt and Dave made their way out onto the dance floor.

Once Santana and Mercedes started singing, and Dave stormed off the dance floor, everyone started to loosen up again. People began dancing and prom felt like it was supposed to be; the event of the year for the junior class. She noticed Artie for the first time all night, and couldn't help but toss him a smile and waved him over. She figured if she wasn't getting her dance with Santana, then she might as well dance with someone on the last song. Artie was a gentleman enough to keep his hands off, and at the last possible moment, ask Brittany to take a picture with him.

"Come onnnn.." he said as she hesitated, "Neither of us got to be here with who we wanted, and even though I know you'd rather I was someone else, at least have something to remember this night by!" He was right. She should have a picture of herself at her junior prom, even if the person she had wanted one with was on stage singing her heart out. So, she took the picture, sitting in Artie's lap with her hands and legs flailed out in different directions. It was fun, it was goofy, it was so, them. Artie gave her a quick kiss on the cheek and wheeled off toward the middle of the dance floor where everyone in Glee seemed to be congregated. They danced and sang the last bit of the song, enjoying their moment together, before the lights came up and the music ended.

* * *

><p>Everyone was heading for the door when Santana grabbed Brittany from behind and wrapped her arms around her waist. Santana could feel a shiver ripple through the blonde when her lips found her ear, telling her to wait there just a little longer. Both girls stood in the middle of the dance floor, watching as the junior class left the building to go party the rest of the night away. Finally, curiosity got the better of the blonde and she couldn't stop herself from asking what they were doing.<p>

The brunette didn't answer, just watching the door as the last few kids and chaperone's left, the latter searching the parking lot for any underage drinking or sex riots. Santana then spun Brittany around in a few tight circles before pulling her in and putting her arms around Brittany's neck. Britt immediately put her arms around Santana's waist, letting her hands rest on the smaller girls' hips, and just swaying back and forth.

"Ok, I'm still confused…" Brittany said after a minute of slow dancing to nothing.

"I told you to save me a dance, didn't I? Well, since my dumbass forgot I was signing the last song, I figured I needed to make up for that. Plus, I made the mistake of not dancing with you once and I'm not doing it again…" And so they danced, occasionally Santana would spin Brittany out only to bring her back in to her arms, neither one needing any more explanation to the situation.

It was only a few seconds later that light music floated from the direction of the stage. When they both turned to see where it came from, there was Brad, his hands on a boom box, adjusting a microphone to sit in front of it. He turned and looked at both girls, offering a small smile to the pair, before walking off stage and leaving them alone.

_..Lyin' here with you so close to me…  
>..It's hard to fight these feelings when it feels so hard to breathe…<br>..Caught up in this moment…  
>..Caught up in your smile…<em>

_..I've never opened up to anyone…  
>..So hard to hold back when I'm holding you, in my arms…<br>..We don't need to rush this…  
>..Let's just take this slow…<em>

'Pretty good song choice for a piece of furniture…" Brittany said, causing Santana to chuckle as she once again spun them around in a circle.

_..Just a kiss on your lips in the moonlight…  
>..Just a touch of the fire burning so bright…<br>..And I don't want to mess this thing up…  
>..No, I don't want to push too far…<br>..Just a shot in the dark that you just might…  
>..Be the one I've been waiting for my whole life…<em>  
><em>..So baby I'm alright, with just a kiss goodnight…<em>

_..I know that if we give this a little time…_  
><em>..It will only bring us closer to the love we wanna find…<em>  
><em>..It's never felt so real, no it's never felt so right...<em>

_..Just a kiss on your lips in the moonlight…_  
><em>..Just a touch of the fire burning so bright…<em>  
><em>..No, I don't want to mess this thing up…<em>  
><em>..I don't want to push too far…<br>..Just a shot in the dark that you just might…  
>..Be the one I've been waiting for my whole life…<br>..So baby I'm alright, with just a kiss goodnight…_

Both were caught up in the moment, not wanting to let go because for once in their life, they felt like they were a part of something special. Rachel had always said that, 'Being a part of something special makes you special', and in that moment, dancing together at their high school prom, both girls understood exactly what she meant…

_..No I don't want to say goodnight…  
>..I know it's time to leave, but you'll be in my dreams…<br>..Tonight…  
>..Tonight…<br>..Tonight…_

_..Just a kiss on your lips in the moonlight…  
>..Just a touch of the fire burning so bright…<br>..No, I don't want to mess this thing up…  
>..I don't want to push too far…<br>..Just a shot in the dark that you just might…  
>..Be the one I've been waiting for my whole life…<em>

The song was fading into the quiet of the empty gym, and with all of her fears and inhibitions pushed aside, Santana leaned in and placed a kiss on the lips of her favorite person in the entire world.

_..So baby I'm alright, oh…  
>..let's do this right, with just a kiss goodnight…<br>..With a kiss goodnight…  
>..Kiss goodnight…<em>

Brittany opened her eyes after they pulled apart, taking in the sight of her best friend, arms still draped across her shoulders and her hands clinging to Santana's waist. _I could get used to something like this…_ she thought as she leaned in and whispered in San's ear, "Best. Prom. Ever.".

* * *

><p><strong>Thank you for being patient with meeee! I finally finished this chapter! I hope you guys enjoyed it… I feel better going into Funeral and Nationals now that I have prom done… this took me soo long to finish, but I'm glad it's done. I feel like my writers block is gone. Oh, and I did write that HeYa drabble, it can also be found in my stories! It helped me. :) <strong>

**p.s. I only re-read this once, so let me know if you see anything that is in serious need of correction! **

**p.s.s. The song is Just a Kiss by Lady Antebellum… the rest are from the episode, but, this song just stuck out for me when I was flipping through my iTunes. Oh, and I listened to my Playlist from 'Playlists' and I must say, it was pretty good listening if I do say so myself! ;)**

**xoxo-Katlin**

**p.s.s.s. A big welcome to my new readers and muchos love for my regulars! Ya'll are the shit! **


	15. Chapter 15, Beautiful Disaster

**A/N: The way I see it, everyone has a story; everyone has something in their life that is worth telling. No one knows why Santana is such a bitch, they just think that's how she is. No one sees how she is with Britt unless it's by accident. And I think everyone has a moment in their life that shapes their personality, and this is that story for Santana. **

**So. Please, bare with me, this will probably be more angst and less fluff than I normally do. I try to balance it out, but I don't think I did much balancing in this one. No worries, they'll have their moments before all is said and done. **

**p.s., small curve balls ahead; just go with it. And I barely touch on the Funeral episode… I have moments of course, that move the story along, but it's mostly just the two girls and all their crazy feelings. **

* * *

><p><strong>Chapter 15<br>Beautiful Disaster**

"Somebody should tell us, right at the start of our lives that we are dying. Then we might live life to the limit, every minute of every day. Do it! I say. Whatever you want to do, do it now! There are only so many tomorrows."

* * *

><p>Backwards and forwards and upwards and downwards; that's how Brittany's life has been since the day she met Santana Lopez.<p>

She was 7 years old the day she approached the tiny girl with the mysterious dark skin and eyes, the girl who never talked to anyone and who didn't have a friend in the world. Brittany was the lovable All-American girl. Her teachers loved her because she saw things in a different way and the kids loved her because she was the nicest of them all.

Never before had two people that were so different become a part of something so familiar.

Santana was sitting in the grass at the far end of the playground, pulling at it and tearing it apart in her hands. She didn't play with the other children because she never learned how to be nice to others. It wasn't something her mommy or new daddy had taught her, so instead she played on her own, ignoring the other children who ran and played with their friends. She hadn't always been this secluded, this hard to get along with, but after the year she had had, she didn't care much anymore.

She didn't notice the other girl until she felt a shadow cross into the path of the sun that had been beating down on her. She looked up and had to squint at the sight above her; the sunlight was shining like a halo around the long blonde hair, not totally obscuring the face which held a breathtaking smile and bright blue eyes. The blonde girl, who she recognized as Brittany, was looking at her expectantly, almost like she had a secret that was only for Santana to hear, but instead of talking to her, she looked back down to the ground and continued picking at the grass around her.

"What cha doin?" The girl asked, still standing above Santana. The smaller girl figured if she ignored her she would leave, so she stayed quiet. The sun finally re-appeared on her skin and she was grateful that the blonde had lost interest. A second later she felt someone sit beside her, and looked up to see Brittany sitting cross legged and picking at the grass just like she was.

"This game isn't very fun…" Brittany said a minute or so later, not noticing that the Latina had been staring at her. "Why do you do this every day?"

Brittany wasn't going to admit that she had been watching Santana for a couple of weeks. After the talk she had with her mom that day at the park when they were feeding the ducks, she had become interested in the Latina; watching her in class and on the playground, hoping to catch a glimpse as to why she seemed so angry all the time.

"I'm looking for a four leaf clover." Santana spit out, not really sure why she was even talking to this girl. "They're good luck…" She clamped her lips shut before she could say more.

"Oh, well then I'll look too!" Brittany continued looking at the grass, squealing occasionally when she thought she had found one. "Is this one?" She asked Santana more times than she could count, and each time Santana would tell her it wasn't and would go back to looking. The game wasn't fun anymore, it was the way that Britt's eyes lit up every time she thought she found one and then the pout that would follow that was entertaining Santana the most.

Both girls knew that recess would be over soon and they became more frantic in their search to find one before the teacher yelled for them to go back inside. They were both on their hands and knees searching when Brittany's eyes went wide and she reached for the cover that had four perfectly shaped leaves. She plucked it from the ground and grinned triumphantly at Santana, who looked at it before telling her it was for sure a four leaf clover.

Brittany jumped to her feet and began running around bragging about her new good luck charm until she realized that Santana wasn't celebrating with her. She looked back and noticed that she was still sitting on the ground with a small furrow to her eyebrows that showed she was upset. Brittany recognized this look because it was one worn by Santana the most, a scowl. The blonde ran back to her and asked what was wrong.

"Nothing, I've just been looking for one for weeks and you find one in ten minutes, it's not fair." Her pout was back and she crossed her arms stubbornly across her chest, obviously mad about Brittany's find.

Brittany looked down at her fingers, and with a small smile, handed Santana the clover. Santana's eyes went wide and then she refused to take it. Brittany didn't understand why she wouldn't want it, I mean, it was lucky, but the stubborn set of her mouth told the blonde that this girl in front of her wasn't used to people being nice to her.

"Here, you can have it." Brittany said, trying again to give the clover to Santana.

"Why would you want to give it to me? You don't even know me…" Santana was so confused as to why this girl that barely knew her would give up something as special as a four leaf clover.

"But I want to." Brittany was just being honest. She wanted to know this girl. She wanted to be friends with the girl who acted like she didn't need anyone. Brittany wanted to be the person that this girl would need, someone she could count on. After the shock wore off of Santana's face, Brittany continued, "Plus, friends give each other stuff, it's just what they do."

At the mention of being friends, Santana's face softened. She looked up at the blonde again, looking for some sign of a trick, but when the blue eyes held nothing but clear sincerity, Santana reached timidly and took the clover.

"Thanks…" Santana said, and for the first time, unleashed the full force of her smile on Brittany, her new friend.

Brittany had never seen this smile before, and right then made a vow that she would always make sure Santana smiled like that for the rest of their lives. Even at 7 years old, she knew that this was the smile of someone who had forgotten all her problems and was truly happy.

"No prob Sanny, now let's go! It's time for class!" She reached out her pinky and linked it with the other girls', only to be met with a new look from the brunette. Santana's face turned quickly to analyze the girl.

"What'd you just call me?" She asked, pulling her pinky from Brittany's hold.

"Sanny.. if you don't like it I can call you Santana, I just liked the way it sounded…" She broke off when her new friend's old scowl returned, and the smaller girl got up and began walking away.

"I'm sorry San, I didn't know you didn't like it!" Brittany was now running after the girl, trying to catch her before they got close to any teachers. She gripped at the girls hand and received a snarl in return, "Why is it such a big deal!" She truly wanted to know what had been so wrong with the nickname so she could better understand the girl.

Santana whirled around and faced her, chest rising and falling at a rapid rate, and taking deep breaths to try and stop the tears that were now forming behind her eyes. She clinched her little fists by her side and spit out the words that she had never said in the presence of another,

"Because that's what my dad used to call me! And he's dead and no one else is allowed to call me that!" She spun back around and sprinted toward the crowd of students lining up to go back inside, leaving Brittany stunned in her wake, her own tears beginning to form at the sudden confession by the brunette.

The whole situation left Brittany's mind reeling; what had started as a great day on the playground turned into a disaster.

The confusion was something that Brittany got used to as her and Santana's friendship continued on its rollercoaster journey; Backwards and forwards and upwards and downwards.

* * *

><p>They were 13 the first time Santana had actually opened up about her father. It was the summer before their freshman year of high school and both girls were laying on Santana's trampoline, exhausted after jumping in the July heat. They had been friends for several years, and not once had the conversation of her dad's death been brought up; Brittany was too scared to ask after the first time it had been mentioned, and Santana wasn't sure if it was something she could talk about. She'd never opened up to anyone, not even the therapist her mom had sent her to because she thought she hadn't accepted it and wouldn't move on.<p>

She called her step-dad 'Dad' and even took his last name after he offered it to her when he and her mother married. No one had known that the girl's name used to be Santana Romero, well, no one except Brittany.

"So, why'd you change it?" Brittany asked nonchalantly, not trying to pry but genuinely curious about this new bit of information about her best friend.

"I don't know, I guess I just thought it would make it all easier." Santana was done sharing; she was starting to feel that familiar ache in her chest at the mention of her father. She was only 6 when he died and didn't remember a lot about him, but she held enough in her memory that made it hurt to think about. She had pictures and family videos to remind her, even though they were all stuffed away under her bed, only to be pulled out when she was having a particularly trying day.

Sensing that Santana was shutting down, Brittany rolled over and wrapped her arm across her best friend's waist, pulling her closer and cuddling next to her. She knew this always made San feel better and immediately felt the brunette relax, and with this relaxation came more confessions.

"I didn't want people to find out that my step-dad wasn't really my dad, and if I had a different last name, I knew people would ask, so instead of dealing with that, I got it changed to match his…" Brittany couldn't believe what she was hearing.

"But San… you were 7." She responded, in shock that someone that young could have thought something like that through the way Santana had.

"Yea and I was a genius. Worked didn't it?" the brunette said, rolling away from Brittany and jumping to her feet, bouncing the blonde on the trampoline and signaling that the conversation was over. Brittany didn't move for a few moments, absorbing what the brunette had said. _If she was capable of deception at the age of 7, I'd hate to think of what she could do now… _she was pulled from her musing when the jostling of the trampoline had her bouncing all over the place… Backwards and forwards and upwards and downwards…

* * *

><p><em>You ok? You don't seem like you're all here today. –S<em>

Brittany had been completely absorbed in her own thoughts and forgot she was sitting in glee club, listening to Mr. Schue and Jesse discussing strategy for Nationals, when she got the text. She glanced up and saw Santana looking at her; she cracked a small smile and nodded her head, signaling that she was fine and that they'd talk later. No one ever caught them in these little moments because they were so practiced; well, no one caught them except Quinn, but that was because she was so attuned to them, plus they didn't mind if she caught them. She was their exception.

"We're gonna have auditions to find out," _Oh hell, what am I supposed to be hearing right now._ She thought as Mr. Schue continued his speech, "I'm gonna post a sign-up sheet later this afternoon." She turned to look at San for some sort of clarity, but the brunette had a smirk on her face, one that held a scheming look, and knew she would have to ask later.

"Mr. schue, don't you think this is kind of not our style." Finn was chiming in and he seemed upset by the prospect of auditions.

"Normally I'd agree with you Finn, but this is the big time, I think we should listen to Jesse." Sam turned and looked at Finn with a conniving look of his own, almost like he was begging Finn to fight with him about it. That's when Brittany put the pieces together.

_Nationals… auditions… San's happy, Finn is mad… Jesse starting shit… got it. No wonder San looks so happy, she wants to sing at nationals so bad. _They had talked about it earlier that day. Santana wanted a chance to shine at Nationals because this was the first time her parents would be there to see her sing; even though it wasn't on account of her, more on account that they already made plans to go to New York that week anyway, but it still mattered to her that they'd be there.

* * *

><p>They were both sitting on that old trampoline after hearing the news. Dr. Lopez had come into Santana's room and told them he had heard through a co-worker that Coach Sylvester's sister had died. Neither girl knew what to say and had ended up wondering out to the back yard to lie on their backs and stare at the stars that were beginning to pop out. They wondered aloud about how it had been kept quiet all day at school and how their old coach was handling it.<p>

Jean had been the one thing that gave coach a heart, and with her gone, neither girl knew how she was going to respond. Instead of trying to maneuver that mine field, they settled on another deep topic.

"Do you believe in God Britt?" In all the years that they had been friends, after Quinn's pregnancy, and even after Burt Hummel's heart attack and their religious week in glee, they had never talked about it before. Brittany was surprised that Santana would initiate such a conversation, but decided to go with it.

She was still looking up at the night sky when she answered. "Yea… do you?" She was curious because she knew Santana's family was religious, but the girl had never spoken of it until now.

"No B, I don't…" The sadness that was etched in her voice was enough to put a lump in Brittany's throat. She rolled over to her side and laid her head on her arm, staring at her best friend who was now messing with her phone, trying to keep herself preoccupied while searching through Pandora songs. She heard a familiar piano solo start the song, and while trying to ignore it, she asked the obvious follow up question.

"Why not?"

_..How can you see into my eyes like open doors?  
>..Leading you down into my core where I've become so numb…<br>..Without a soul, my spirit sleeping somewhere cold …  
>..Until you find it there and lead it back home…<br>_  
><em>..(Wake me up)<br>..Wake me up inside…  
>..(I can't wake up)<br>..Wake me up inside…  
>..(Save me)<br>..Call my name and save me from the dark…  
>..(Wake me up)<br>..Bid my blood to run,  
>..(I can't wake up)<br>..Before I come undone,  
>..(Save me)<br>..Save me from the nothing I've become…_

"Because… people say how awesome God is, why is he so awesome? Because he created us?" Santana stopped, expecting Brittany to jump in, but when she didn't, she continued. "He has a cruel sense of humor if you ask me… I mean, first he kills my dad for no good reason. Just takes him, not thinking about what it would do to me or anyone else. Then he takes Jean, coach's one thing that's good in her life, I mean, how is that fair? How can any of it be justified? It can't." She was angry now, fighting back the tears and squeezing her hands into fists, just like she did when they were 7 years old…

_..Now that I know what I'm without…  
>..You can't just leave me…<br>..Breathe into me and make me real…  
>..Bring me to life….<em>

_..(Wake me up)_  
><em>..Wake me up inside…<em>  
><em>..(I can't wake up)<em>  
><em>..Wake me up inside…<em>  
><em>..(Save me)<em>  
><em>..Call my name and save me from the dark…<em>  
><em>..(Wake me up)<em>  
><em>..Bid my blood to run,<em>  
><em>..(I can't wake up)<em>  
><em>..Before I come undone,<em>  
><em>..(Save me)<em>  
><em>..Save me from the nothing I've become…<em>

Neither girl said anything for a moment, just listening to the song. Brittany continued to stare at Santana who was now singing along... If Britt was unsure if Santana was ok, the look in her eyes when singing this song told her her answer. Her best friend was hurting and for the first time ever, Brittany felt completely helpless…

_..Bring me to life…  
>..(I've been living a lie, there's nothing inside)…<br>..Bring me to life…_

.._Frozen inside without your touch,_  
><em>..Without your love, darling…<em>  
><em>..Only you are the life among the dead…<em>

_..All this time I can't believe I couldn't see,_  
><em>..Kept in the dark but you were there in front of me…<em>  
><em>..I've been sleeping a thousand years it seems,<em>  
><em>..Got to open my eyes to everything…<em>  
><em>..Without a thought, without a voice, without a soul…<em>  
><em>..Don't let me die here,<em>  
><em>..There must be something more,<em>  
><em>..Bring me to life…<em>

She wasn't sure if it would be ok to touch Santana or not, because usually once she hit this point of being upset, she didn't want to be touched, but seeing as she couldn't think of anything to say, she felt holding her was the only option… So Brittany sat up and pulled Santana into her lap, and after not feeling any resistance from her best friend, she began rocking her back and forth, murmuring to her that everything would be ok.

_..(Wake me up)  
>..Wake me up inside…<br>..(I can't wake up)  
>..Wake me up inside…<br>..(Save me)  
>..Call my name and save me from the dark…<br>..(Wake me up)  
>..Bid my blood to run,<br>..(I can't wake up)  
>..Before I come undone,<br>..(Save me)  
>..Save me from the nothing I've become…<em>

_..Bring me to life…_  
><em>..I've been living a lie, there's nothing inside …<em>  
><em>..Bring me to life…<em>

The song ended and faded into another, but neither girl was listening. All Brittany could hear was the sobs that Santana was trying to swallow and all San could hear was Britt's heart beat in her ear. She felt Brittany's hands running through her hair and began to try to match her calm breathing. _I have got to quit breaking down like this… I have cried more in the past month then I think I have in my entire life… Suck it up you big baby, it was forever ago. _

And with that harsh reality scratching its way into her mind, she took a deep breath and pulled away from Brittany, noticing for the first time that she too was crying, only her tears were silent. Santana reached up and cupped the blonde's face and thumbed away the tears, cursing at herself for making her best friend cry. "it's ok.. shhh… B, it's ok…"

Brittany pulled away, feeling completely dumbfounded that Santana was trying to comfort her when it was she who should be comforting the brunette. She roughly tried to brush her tears away, begging her body to make them stop. Santana grabbed her wrists and pulled them from her face, placing them both gently at her side.

"It's ok, I'm ok." She was looking into those baby blue orbs, trying to convince her best friend that she was fine. "Thank you for listening to my rant. I just needed to vent. Jean's death just brought back memories, I'm ok. Don't cry B, please stop crying." She was practically begging, because Britt's tears were her kryptonite; they were powerful enough to give her the strength to pull herself out of her own slump and try to make the blonde feel better.

"Don't tell me not to cry San. If you're sad, I'm sad; it's just the way it is…" She said, choking out a strained laugh before brushing some of Santana's hair back and tucking it behind her ear. Her hand lingered at the side of Santana's face, both girls just looking at each other for a long moment, before Santana broke the stare and let out a breath she didn't realize she was holding.

"I gotta work on my audition solo, want to help me?" And that was it. Brittany watched as the vulnerable Santana went back into hiding and this other Santana took over. It wasn't HBIC Santana, that Santana was still lost somewhere between losing her Cheerios uniform and confessing her love for her best friend. The Santana in front of her pretended to be confident and was more bitter than bitchy, and Brittany couldn't help but want the old HBIC back.

* * *

><p>The next day at school, things seemed to be back to normal; Santana seemed to be back to normal. Her outburst the night before completely washed away with a new day and a new goal; national auditions. She was the first to sign up and couldn't wait to sing her song. They had worked on it some the night before and she knew she was going to blow it out of the water. It wasn't until she got to glee that afternoon that her day took a turn.<p>

She saw Brittany sitting in the front row next to Artie which made her want to punch a wall. These emotions were getting the best of her and she tried to ignore them both as she made her way to a seat away from either of them. She tried to focus on her audition, thinking of all the ways she could make it perfect and how she could channel Amy Winehouse but also make it her own. All of her ideas were running through her mind when she heard Finn begin to speak about Sue's sister's funeral.

"We need to help her, she's overwhelmed and she needs us to help her." _It's Sue, she doesn't need help. She hates us. _

"Seriously?" She didn't even realize she needed to comment until the word vomit started… "I'd like to put the fun back in funeral just as much as the next girl, but why would the glee club help Coach Sylvester plan a service?" _Seriously Santana, _she chided herself, _tread lightly, no need to make people question you. _

"We're not doing it for Sue, we're doing it for her sister…" Kurt had a point. They could at least do it for Jean; she deserved that much.

"Jean is just like us guys, she's been an outsider and underdog all of her life. We of all people should celebrate that." And Frankenteen also had a point. _Since when did we all become so damn smart? _

She lumped herself into that category because she felt like she had literally matured over night; the talk with Brittany and _finally_ releasing all of that pent up anger and sadness really helped her come to terms with stuff. She loved her step-dad just like he was a real dad and she would no longer hold it over his head that he wasn't her real father when she didn't get her way. She also would no longer hold it against her mother for re-marrying so quickly after her dad's death; falling in love again was her way of dealing with everything and Santana finally recognized that.

She felt proud of herself in that moment and realized that she had missed most of Jesse's comments. She did however catch the just of it and was about to come out of her chair and strangle the boy. She was grateful that Finn stuck up for everyone and basically told Jesse to shove it up his ass; Santana always knew the old leader Finn was in there somewhere and it was about time he brought it back.

* * *

><p>Brittany was sitting in the choir room with Santana after glee ended, waiting for the audition process to start.<p>

"You nervous?" Brittany couldn't help but ask; she was nervous for Santana. She knew how important this was to her and she couldn't help but look around at the competition and wonder who would win. All of them were great singers, but for the sake of her best friend, she hoped it was Santana.

"Naw, I got this in the bag." She said as she glanced around, hoping everyone was listening to her. "I mean, it's between a guy who sings like a girl, Queen Latifa, and a member of the Lolly Pop Guild. I think I'll be aight." She finished, winking at Brittany, revealing that HBIC attitude that had been hidden away. It made Brittany smile to see it, even though most would think that was kind of counterproductive to Santana becoming more comfortable with herself.

"I resent that comment Santana." Kurt said, "I mean, not everyone can cover up EVERYTHING about themselves; that includes my voice and your inability to accept that you are…"

"Watch yourself Hummel." She glared at him as she cut across his words. "Don't make me cut you."

"What are you talking…" Rachel was about to chime in but was cut off when Jesse entered and told Santana it was her turn. Brittany watched as Santana stood up and tossed everyone a nasty glare before leaving the room.

Brittany sat in the choir room, looking around at everyone but also trying to not make eye contact with Kurt, who seemed to find her extremely interesting at the moment.

"What?" She asked as he continued to stare at her.

"Oh nothing, I was just wondering why Santana feels the need to hate on her own kind?" Kurt said, looking at his nails, trying to feign indifference, but looking up and shooting her a meaningful glance.

"I know right!" Rachel said, obviously bursting to be included in this conversation. "I mean, she's a magnificent singer, and no one ever comes down on her for that, why must she do it to us?" Both Brittany and Kurt let out a big breath, thankful that Rachel had completely missed the point of the conversation. Mercedes just looked on, she was not oblivious due to Britt's slip up during their 'Fondue for Two' incident, but she was also not willing to make a comment.

Britt grabbed her phone and texted Kurt as quickly as her fingers would allow,

_Please, please don't say anything to her like that. I know you wouldn't want to come out like that, so please, keep it quiet. -B_

Kurt looked at his phone and his eyes went wide, nodding his head and giving another meaningful glance toward Brittany, and it surprised her that she could interpret it.

_No, I mean, I don't know what I am. I just know that she's having a hard time with it all and I'm just trying to be the best friend I can be for her right now, ya know? –B_

Another nod, then he was rising from his seat and walking out the door. Brittany panicked.

_Shit. Jesus! If he's going to talk to her she will freakin' kill me!_

"Kurt!" She yelled as she ran after him. He was heading toward the auditorium, but when she caught up to him, she noticed he had no malice in his face, no bad intentions, just curiosity, and it was then that she remembered they were all still in a contest.

"My name is Santana Lopez and I will be singing Amy Winehouse's Back to Black." They heard her say as they stood next to the stage, watching Santana from the wings.

_Seriously, she needs to stop wearing stuff like that to school. _Brittany thought as she took in the sight of her best friend on the stage. The piano began to play and Brittany all but forgot about the boy next to her.

_..He left no time to regret…  
>..Kept his lips wet…<br>..With his same old safe bet…  
>..Me and my head high…<br>..And my tears dry…  
>..Get on without my guy… <em>

_..And I tread a troubled track…  
>..My odds are stacked…<br>..I go back to black… _

"She's right, I am screwed…" Kurt whispered to her as she watched Santana's audition, completely in awe of her best friend. She watched her practice it the night before, but this, seeing her in her element on stage, caused Brittany to feel that familiar thirst in her body, one that only Santana could quench.

_..We only said good-bye with words…  
>..I died a hundred times…<br>..You go back to her…  
>..And I go back to...<em>

Britt watched as Santana walked around the stage, briefly sitting next to Brad at the piano and giving him a smile before moving on. _We do kind of owe him still… _Brittany thought again about Prom and how perfect it had been. _Yea, I'll buy him some black and white nail polish or something to go with the piano keys…_

_..Black, black,  
>..I go back to…<br>..I go back to…_

_..We only said good-bye with words …  
>..I died a hundred times …<br>..You go back to her …  
>..And I go back to black…<em>

Brittany was still focused on Santana's 'eat shit' grin when she realized Jesse must have snubbed her. "Wait, that, that's all you have to say? You spent the entire performance scribbling notes." Santana seemed confused, which for the Latina led to either irritability or outright violence.

"Well if you really must know I was simply writing down that I don't think that your performance went very deep into the emotional truth of the song." _Aw shit Jess, you're gonna get it now. _Brittany thought as she watched the HBIC monster surface.

"Oh is that so, well I happen to have some feedback for you!" She was cut off by Mr. Schue who was obviously trying to defuse the situation before the girl on stage could throttle the boy next to him.

"I'm about to go all Lima Heights!" She threatened as she walked off stage. Brittany laughed when she heard that, because it was such an empty threat. Santana hadn't lived in Lima Heights Adjacent since her mom got remarried to Dr. Lopez; she now lived in Lima Heights Country Club in a house that made Brittany's look like a Barbie play house.

When she realized Santana was walking off stage, she whispered a quick 'good luck' to Kurt and ran around the back side of the stage to meet up with Santana on the other side.

"Hey! You did so good!" Brittany said as she half jumped into Santana's arms.

"Thanks B. Ugh, I could seriously murder that kid; you think anyone would miss him?" She asked as they left the auditorium.

Brittany laughed as she reached and grabbed Santana's hand, causing the smaller girl to tense up before she realized that it was after school and no one was there to see them. Brittany hadn't forgotten how hot Santana had looked when she was on stage, and the ache between her legs was starting to get the better of her. Brittany decided to take advantage of the empty hallways and pulled the brunette in the opposite direction of the choir room and into the Cheerio locker room.

They hadn't done more than kiss since their weekend at Santana's and it was obvious that their need for one another had been building. Santana didn't even have to ask what Britt was doing as they pushed their way to the back of the dimly lit locker room. Britt's mouth connected to hers before she could even comprehend what was going on. She felt strong hands squeezing her ass, then lifting her off the ground and placing her on a trainer's table.

Hands were roaming by the time they came up for air. Brittany pushed Santana's jaw to the side and began to nibble on her ear lobe, causing the brunette to moan and her hands to pull Brittany's body closer until she was standing directly between her legs. The blonde continued to nip down her neck, sucking hard before biting the skin, then kissing the spot before moving on.

"Britt," Santana gasped out as the blonde sucked hard on the spot where her shoulder met her neck, "Britt," she tried again, but she was gasping for air, "Your pants….. too tight… can't… get them off." Santana had been trying, unsuccessfully, to get Brittany out of her skin tight leggings for the better part of a minute, but had been denied access to the one thing she wanted most.

"That's ok," Brittany whispered against Santana's neck, "I wasn't planning on taking them off." She pulled away in time to see the look that passed over Santana's face; one of complete arousal but also complete dismay. Brittany giggled as she pushed up the bottom of Santana's dress, revealing to the brunette her exact intentions for this little side trip.

She ran her hands up tan thighs, swallowing hard as she tried to control the lust flowing through her veins. When she looked up at Santana, the lust was extremely evident in her brown eyes. Their lips crashed together again as Brittany's hands slid further under the Latina's dress, fingertips brushing the outside of extremely wet panties. Santana's groan was swallowed by the blonde, whose talented fingers were now pushing aside the brunette's underwear and running up the slick folds underneath. She was about to push two fingers into the wet center when she heard the door to the locker room being pushed open.

"Oh sweet Jesus you two! Get a freaking room!" Brittany all but jumped out of her skin when she heard the voice. It wasn't the fact that they had been caught; it was the fact that it was their best friend who had done the catching.

"Quinn, get the hell out of here!" Santana literally growled as Brittany removed her hands from under her dress and stepped back, blushing furiously.

"Oh trust me, this was NOT something I wanted to see. I just needed to find my damn gym shoes." Quinn was also blushing a deep shade of crimson that matched Brittany's, while Santana, who never really minded an audience, looked on as her two friends tried to decide their next move.

"Shit you two! You act like it's a big deal or something!" Santana said as she jumped from the table and adjusted her dress. She looked up to see that both were still in shock, and unable to take the tension anymore, she burst out of the locker room, leaving both blonde's to their embarrassment.

"Sorry B, I didn't mean to interrupt." Quinn said as she continued to look for her gym shoes, muttering things about 'common decency' and 'public places'.

"It's ok, I just… I… I don't know what I'm doing Q."

Quinn looked up in time to see Brittany slide down the wall and put her face in her hands, sobs evident in the way her shoulders were shaking. It was now Brittany's turn to fall apart. Everyone else had their chance; everyone else got to cry and scream and be confused, and now it was the blonde's turn.

"B? Brittany? What's wrong babe?" Quinn was the motherly type now; ever since she had her baby she possessed this weird motherly aura that Brittany found comforting. She looked up and noticed that Quinn was now sitting next to her, extending her arms but not sure if it was ok to comfort the blue eyed blonde. Brittany fell into Quinn's embrace and allowed herself to be rocked like a child, slow and steady, until her breathing began to even out.

"Want to talk about it?" Quinn asked, pushing some stray bangs out of Brittany's face and staring into her blue eyes. She wasn't sure if she was going to get a response or not, but a moment later, Brittany found her voice and spilled everything she had kept locked away from everyone.

"I'm just so confused right now… I want her, so bad Q, like, so bad it hurts. But she just isn't ready, and I respect that, I do, but sometimes, I wish she would just do it for me. If she couldn't do it for herself, at least do it for me. I want people to see us together. I want us to be making out in public and see and hear people telling us to get a room. I want that. I know you think I'm crazy, but it's true. I just want her, it's always been her and I wish it was enough. And it's never going to be. As much as I want my love and my body and my everything to be enough to give her the courage to come out, I know it won't be, and that kills me Q, it kills me…" She trailed off in another round of hysterics, unable to control the emotions behind the words she finally said out loud.

Quinn wasn't sure what to say. She knew that they loved each other; it's so obvious, but this, this confession by Brittany, was too much for her to take. She couldn't offer any advice because she had never felt this way about anyone. She wanted to think that she felt this way for Finn, but after listening to the words that came from Britt, she knew she didn't love him anywhere near as much as Brittany loved Santana.

So instead of trying to give this amazing speech about how things will work out, Quinn said the only thing she felt she was qualified to say. "Just love her Brittany. Love her more than anyone else in the entire world has ever loved someone. But, don't let yourself wait around forever, ok?" She could see the fear in Brittany's eyes as she spoke of not waiting around for Santana to figure her stuff out, so she pressed on, "It's just not fair that you love her this much and you can't be together. And I don't want you to hurt for her forever… but you also need to tell her everything you just told me. She needs to know that you're confused and she needs to know that she can't keep stringing you along."

The protest that Santana wasn't stringing her along died on Brittany's lips. It was sort of true. Most would think that Brittany was the one stringing Santana along, but in reality, it was Santana who was doing the stringing. It was Santana who wanted to have Brittany all to herself but not let it be public. This thought made Brittany feel a little better because before today, she always thought it was her fault for their situation. She wasn't going to play the blame game with her best friend, but she also wasn't going to take all the blame. She looked up and met the pair of hazel eyes that was still studying her.

"You're right Quinn. I need to just tell her and see what happens. But, not now. I want to see if she can figure it out on her own, not because I'm making her." Quinn nodded her head, understanding exactly what Britt meant and together, both girls got to their feet. They leaned in and gave each other a hug, the first one they'd shared in a long time, and both were relieved that they were slowly becoming the friends they used to be.

* * *

><p>"She may be difficult but boy can she sing, Bravo!" Santana reached up and grabbed the cheering Kurt and pulled him back down into his seat. <em>Does the boy have no self-respect? That's his competition he's cheering for! Dumb. Ass. <em>

"I have to be honest, that was brilliant. I have nothing but the tip of my hat." Seeing that stupid smile light up on Rachel's face after Jesse complimented her performance finally sent Santana over the edge. She was already on edge because of the whole Brittany/locker room incident, and not getting the release she was looking for, she lashed out at everyone else.

"Garbage, this whole thing is rigged!" _It's true though! This dude sweats Rachel's nuts, of course she would win!_

"Hold up Santana, like I said before, I make the final call here." _Yea right. _

"Well then make it!" _Finally Wheezy has said something! Ms. Diva should be shouting from the rooftops about this!_

"Out of respect to you all, I'm gonna take a couple days and consider all the results. I will let you all know by Friday. Great job, everyone." _I said it once, Garbage. _

Santana was still sitting in the auditorium when Brittany came in to find her. She watched as Brittany's eyes lit up when she finally saw her sitting in the back and her heart sped up as the blonde approached her. She could never get over how amazingly beautiful the girl was; it literally took her breath away every time Brittany was in her presence.

"Hi." Brittany said, plopping down in the seat next to Santana and laying her head on her shoulder. "How'd everyone else do?"

"Mercedes rocked it of course, and if you ever repeat this I'll kill you, but Rachel pretty much brought the house down." She took a deep breath, inhaling the sweet perfume of the girl next to her, "I don't know who's gonna win, but if Jesse has his say, it'll be Rachel. He pretty much said it just now, and if Mr. Schue listens to him, I'm sure that's who will win."

"Well that doesn't seem fair…" Brittany said, still with her head on the Latina's shoulder. She seemed a little too quiet for Santana's liking, so she pulled back to get a better look at the blonde. Her thoughts were confirmed when she noticed the red rims around those blue eyes and the way she was still sniffling occasionally.

"Hey, you ok?" She asked, grabbing Brittany's chin after the blonde tried to look away. Brittany couldn't lie to her, her eyes always gave her away, so Santana kept a steady gaze until blue finally met brown.

"Yea, me and Quinn just had a moment after you left… no big deal." There was a shadow of gray that crept across the ocean of blue, but Santana didn't call her on it. It seemed like the truth, but there was more that Brittany wasn't sharing. Santana knew Brittany better than she knew herself and she knew there was a lie laced somewhere in the statement, but for both of their sakes, she didn't ask anymore.

"We need to get going, they'll be closing the school soon." Santana said, standing up and pulling Brittany to her feet. But before Brittany could turn and make her way out of the auditorium, Santana stood on her tip toes and pressed a kiss to the corner of the blonde's mouth. It was so innocent, so nonchalant, like it was something they had been doing all their lives, and it felt so right. Brittany felt the blush creep into her cheeks as Santana took her hand and started walking them toward their cars.

As they walked the halls, Santana could have sworn she heard Brittany humming a part of a song, something that sounded a bit like, '_…And I love you, I love you, I love you, like never before…'_

* * *

><p>Jean's funeral was the following afternoon and the two best friends decided they would ride together. Neither girl had spoke once they were in the car, the reality of the situation they were about to face had brought a somber mood over the two. Instead, they both were lost in their thoughts, each containing one another, but in totally different ways.<p>

_I wonder if she would be ok with it? I wonder if she'll do it with me or if I'm gonna be in this alone? I need to do this… no, I have to do this. I need to get my mojo back, and I know this will work… _

Santana had been thinking for a long time about the coming conversation she was planning on having with Brittany. They were about to be seniors and she needed to be on top for her final year of high school. She needed to be back to where she was, and for that to happen, she needed Brittany and Quinn to be on board with her. She chanced a look at the girl in the passenger seat, noticing that she too looked deep in thought. She cracked a smile when she saw the way Brittany's eyebrows were pulled together and the way her lips seemed to be ghosting the words that were flowing through her mind…

_I need to tell her that I'm tired of waiting. I am so so tired of waiting. I know it's not fair to her, but she needs to know that I'm ready and that she needs to be ready because there's nothing to be ashamed of, nothing to worry about… It's just me and her, just like it's always been, just like it always will be…_

Brittany was still trying to figure out how to confront Santana about all her pent up feelings about them. They both knew that they loved one another, if it wasn't already obvious, but she wanted things to be official. She wanted them to be official and be together where everyone could see, and for that to happen, Santana needed to come out. Brittany was ok if Santana only came out to everyone in Glee, just something to prove that Santana wanted her as bad as she wanted the brunette.

"Britt we need to talk." Santana spoke first, her mouth finally deciding that it was time to tell her best friend her plans, even though her mind wasn't really ready.

"Yea, I think we do. I have something I want to say too, but you go first." Brittany was hoping beyond hope that Santana was going to finally go through with it. She didn't want to spill her guts if the Latina finally had the nerve to do what she was going to ask her to do anyway.

"I want to try out for Cheerios again." Santana deadpanned. Brittany was in a state of shock after hearing these words. Not exactly what she was expecting to hear from the girl next to her. Immediately, panic set in.

_If she wants to go out for Cheerios that means she won't be coming out of the closet. She won't because Sue would make sure she didn't. That means almost a whole year of waiting around for her. Another year… I can't wait a year. Is she crazy? We quit for a reason! She has got to be joking…_

Brittany finally looked up and saw that Santana was completely serious. There wasn't even a hint of doubt in those chocolate eyes that would give Brittany some sort of leverage to try and talk her out of it. She stared like that for a few more moments before Santana continued.

"And I want you and Quinn to join me. I know it seems crazy, but think about it Britt. Back on Cheerios for our Senior year. We already proved that we can do Glee and cheer, and you know Sue wants us back. She didn't have shit after we left, if we mentioned it to her, she would practically beg us to put on those uniforms again…"

Santana was already day dreaming about walking into school on the first day, Quinn on her left and Brittany on her right, all three in Cheerio uniforms, strutting down the hall and showing everyone who was in charge. She winced a little when she caught a glimpse of Brittany in that daydream; their pinkies locked, but nothing more. She pulled herself out of her thoughts and noticed that Brittany was still staring at her.

"Say something B, you're involved in this too; I want you there with me." Santana was trying to convince the blonde before she even heard a response from her because she knew she was already losing this battle. Brittany was shutting down right in front of her; her blue eyes were now a steely gray, the set of her mouth was that of a firm line, her arms crossed across her chest and her eyebrows were scrunched together in a way that was nowhere close to cute.

"No." It was all Brittany could say because she knew that if she opened her mouth again it would all come flooding out. She looked up to see Santana staring at her in disbelief; probably because this was the first time Brittany had really stood up to Santana. Sure, she would stand her ground against the brunette, but usually it ended in compromise. This, joining Cheerios again, was something she would not compromise about. She knew it was a death sentence to their relationship and she refused to be a part of it.

"Britt, think about it..." Santana was about to go into detail as to why this plan was so amazing, before she was cut off.

"Choose." Once again it was a one word response, but seeing the confusion spread across Santana's face forced her to continue. "Choose Santana, me or Cheerios. Me or your stupid reputation and your stupid status. Choose. Because I'm done being your second choice; I'm done making you a priority while I'm just the girl you fuck on the side. So choose."

And with that, she threw open the car door and slammed it hard before entering the funeral home.

Santana was in a complete haze as she processed what the blonde had just said. _'..I'm done making you a priority while I'm just the girl you fuck on the side…' _She couldn't really mean that, could she? _She knows I love her right? She has to know that I'm doing this for the both of us, right? _Santana wasn't so sure of the answer anymore, and as she too climbed out of her car, she felt the urge to run in the opposite direction. She didn't want to sit through this funeral, watch everyone cry, see the pain in everyone's eyes over the loss of a loved one. She didn't want to because she too felt like she had just lost the best thing, the most important thing, in her life. And now she understood what Brittany meant; _choose Santana, and you can't have them both, you can't have it all, you're gonna have to choose. _

* * *

><p>Jean's funeral was not the place she had been hoping to have a conversation like that with Santana. She didn't want to be this emotional basket case as she pushed through the doors and entered the parlor where her friends were waiting on her. She didn't want to have to pretend to be ok for the sake of everyone else when all she wanted to do was fall apart. She had told Santana to make a choice and her heart felt like it was being ripped to shreds because for the first time, she wasn't sure what the brunette would decide. She wasn't sure if she was enough to make San choose her instead of one more year of being in control.<p>

Her eyes sought out the one person who could help and Quinn was at her side almost immediately, pulling her into the bathroom and holding her while she fell apart for the second time in two days. She sobbed into the blonde's shoulder as she tried to explain what had happened, and it only took Quinn a little bit of coaxing to calm her down enough to explain in short choppy phrases.

"She… she wants to be on Cheerios again.. *hiccup*… and she wants us to too… she said… it was because we were going to be seniors... and that it was important… and I told her…. Quinn I told her she had to choose… and… I don't… I don't know what she's gonna decide… what if she doesn't pick me? What if she doesn't want me as much as I want her?" Her heart was breaking again and again as she said the words, and it broke more when she saw the same gleam in Quinn's eye at the mention of being a cheerleader again that she had seen in Santana's only a few minutes prior.

She pulled back as she once again took in the look in Quinn's eyes. _Why do these girls need this so bad? _She thought, pulling away from the blonde and running her fingers below her eyes, trying to stop the flow of tears. Quinn didn't notice the looks she was getting from Brittany, now lost in her own thoughts. The blue eyed blonde realized that this was not the person she needed to be talking to because if it came right down to it, everyone knew that Quinn and Santana loved power more then they loved anything. It was their vice, their drug, and no matter how much love Brittany tried to pour into Santana, she wasn't the antidote for the addiction.

* * *

><p>Santana was trying to stem the flow of tears running down her eyes as she listened to Mr. Schue read Sue's speech. It was heartbreaking to hear what her old coach had to say about the one person in her life that loved her unconditionally, regardless of what the outside world thought. Santana's thoughts circled around Brittany as the speech continued. She chanced a look at the blonde who was seated as far from her as possible and took a shaky breath when she noticed that she too was crying.<p>

She tried to look away but was, as always, drawn to the blonde, especially when she was upset. Santana wasn't sure if these tears were because of their talk in the car or because of the speech, but when Brittany turned and looked at her, she had her answer. They didn't break eye contact for several seconds, still listening to Mr. Schue talk, and catching a part of the speech that caused both girls to look away.

"It feels like a piece of me has been ripped off... Just one more time, I want to hold her. 10 more seconds, is that too much to ask? Just 10 more seconds to hold her… "

Santana understood what Sue meant. She understood the feeling of loss, even though the person she loved was a mere twenty feet from where she sat. It was then, right when they were about to get up to do their number, that she knew she needed to make a decision, and fast. She was not going to lose Brittany but she wasn't about to go another year slowly descending the ladder of success that she spent two and a half years building. She needed a plan; and for Santana Lopez, planning was what she did best.

* * *

><p>Brittany held the camera steady as she looked on, watching Mr. Schue squirm while Jesse recounted everything from the auditions.<p>

"Well it was a tough competition but here's the dope: Santana, too mean. Kurt, too controversial. Mercedes, I said it twice and I'll say it again, lazy B-o-n-e-s. Rachel is the clear winner."

Brittany felt herself beginning to squirm at the mention of Santana's name. They hadn't spoken since before the funeral and hearing it sent a strange feeling through her body. She had been training herself not to think about the brunette for the past 24 hours, but at the mention of her name, her body was once again flooded with thoughts of Santana. She had missed some of Mr. Schue's and Jesse's conversation, but caught on quickly that Mr. Scheu wasn't comfortable with Brittany being there filming.

"Well I can't practice reality show judging without a camera, it's like practicing skiing without skies." She could see that Jesse was looking for some sort of response, so she spouted one out before anyone could see how out of it she was.

"I've totally done that." _Ok, I've never been skiing, but still. _

"Ok, Brittany can you just turn that thing off. The off switch is right over there." _I swear, for someone who tries to be nice to everyone, he sure does treat me like an idiot. _She thought as she watched him try to explain where the power button was. It was her camera, she obviously knew how to use the damn thing.

"Yea I know how to turn it off…" She couldn't stop the snort that followed, showing her annoyance, "thanks." She turned her attention back to Jesse. Even though she didn't care for him, she still thought he'd be a good addition to her talk show, which she had completely abandoned since Santana refused to come on.

There it was again; her name was in her thoughts and she could feel the blood in her veins begin to flow faster. She wasn't sure how much longer she could go without speaking to the brunette, but she knew she needed to stick to her guns.

"Jesse, maybe you could come on Fondue for Two and judge my cat." She didn't really hear his response, but nodded her head in agreement. She knew he probably wouldn't follow through, but she still thought it was a good plan to be on the good side of the guy who was controlling her fate when it came to Nationals.

She started thinking about Nationals and New York City and how much fun she wanted to have. She was trying hard to keep Santana out of her day dreams, but it was harder than it seemed. Every shot was of them walking hand in hand through Central Park, or sharing a pretzel in Times Square, or kissing on the Brooklyn Bridge; everything they couldn't do here, they could do there. She pulled herself back to the present when she heard Mr. Schue mention Rachel winning the contest.

"You really think picking Rachel means we beat Vocal Adrenalin?" he asked, leaning toward the younger boy.

"It's in the bag." And Brittany was off. She was running from the room before either could ask where she was going. _I have to tell Santana, she needs to know that Mr. Schue didn't want this and…_ She stopped. _No. _It wasn't that she didn't want to tell Santana what she had just heard, it was just she didn't know _how_ to tell Santana without some sort of drama unfolding.

Deciding to keep this new information to herself,the blonde spun on her heel and headed to her last class. She was thankful that not one glee club member or Cheerio or anyone else she knew for that matter was in her class; she just needed time to think without distraction.

* * *

><p>Santana wasn't doing any better than Brittany. Yea, she got up that morning, made herself look nice, blah blah blah, but she missed the blonde already. They hadn't had that serious of a fight in a long time and usually by the end of the day they had made up. But not this time, this time they were intentionally ignoring each other in the halls and not sitting by each other in class. Santana realized that Brittany was dead serious about her needing to make a decision, and in all honesty, it terrified her.<p>

The last bell rang and the knot in her stomach that had been there all day got even bigger. She knew the National Solo list would be posted today and she was not feeling so confident about it. She knew she had a shot, hell, everyone had a shot, but she knew that with Jesse at the helm of this disasterious idea, her chances were close to slim and none.

She got to her locker in time to see Kurt and Mercedes making their way over toward the bulletin board. She ran up and put her arm through Kurt's, surprising both him and Mercedes, and waltzed over with them to see whose name would be listed. They all stared at it as if it were written in Alien, because it didn't make a damn bit of sense.

"This doesn't make any sense." Santana was the first to speak, no one else noticing that Rachel and Jesse were walking up, making snide remarks. She heard Rachel's though,

"All though this is deeply personal, try not to take it personally. " She hadn't had the urge to hit the dwarf in a few days and right now that urge almost overtook her.

"Um you guys might want to read what the list says." Santana heard Kurt say, but she was more entertained by the look on Rachel's face when the smaller brunette looked at the paper.

-Urgent meeting today, Choir Room 3p.m-

They all made their way to the choir room since they obviously needed an explanation. Rachel was bickering with Jesse over his false news (_Fuckin' cheater MaGee!)_, and Mercedes and Kurt were just as quiet as Santana. The brunette put up a bitchy façade to try and convince everyone she wasn't nervous, but it was there. It was teeming through her body as she entered the room. She was so engrossed by it she didn't pay attention to where she was sitting until she noticed she was directly between Brittany and Artie.

_What in the hell? _She thought as she glanced to her left and right, noticing how scared Artie looked and how uncomfortable Britt seemed to be. _Great, now she doesn't even want me next to her. Well, I'm not getting up because then I'll look stupid, she's just going to have to deal. _

She crossed her legs and folded her arms across her chest, forcing herself to look everywhere but at the two people beside her. The tension in the room was mounting, all the contestants trying to remain calm while the rest of the club looked on. Finally it was broken when Mr. Schue walked in.

"Oh Mr. Schue, thank god you're here to put these trolls out of their misery." She couldn't put the bitch filter back on before more came tumbling out, "Can you just announce my win so that I can get on with teasing the losers."

"I heard your performance Santana, this is mine and you know it." _Bitch. _She thought as she glanced at the boy behind her.

"See Jesse, this is the kind of in fighting and me first attitudes that I wanted to avoid." She wanted to interject another round of insults, but was cut off when Jesse started talking.

"What you call in fighting I call motivation. And this is just the beginning, once we get to nationals, I'll have them willing to kill each other for that solo." She had to agree with the boy, as much as he annoyed her. He was right, she would kill one of them for a solo. Her parents were going to be there and she needed to sing; she needed them to see her and for once understand the slight obsession she had for glee club. Her hopes were dashed with the next words…

* * *

><p>"No, I changed my mind. We're going back to what got us here, original songs sung by the entire club. We're a team, and we're best when we work as one." The scowl on Santana's face was enough to wipe the grin off of Brittany's face. She had forgotten how important this was to Santana and for a moment, she forgot that she was still upset with her.<p>

"You're going to lose." She heard Jesse's words but she didn't care, she was still concerned for the girl next to her.

"Whatever we do, we're going to do it together." Mr. Schue was right though. They didn't need to have all this fighting and bickering, what they needed was two bad ass songs to get them a win at Nationals. She heard the exchange that took place between Santana, Kurt, and Rachel and was surprised with how receptive San was to their comments. Usually she would just brush them off, but the fact that she told them all they'd been good and even joked with Rachel showed a different side, a better side, to the girl she loved.

"Alright guys, time to get to work. I want two hit songs by the time the wheels touch down at JFK." They all began to move toward Mr. Schue and those stupid books he had given them once before. They didn't start writing that day, instead they decided to try some stuff on their own and pull it together when they got to NYC.

* * *

><p>Santana headed straight for the door, not bothering to even grab a dictionary as she made her way past the group. Brittany's mind was telling her to stay put, but her body took over, propelling her out the door and down the hall after her friend. She reached Santana's side and they walked in silence, only glancing at each other once before continuing their path out of school and toward the weekend.<p>

"So, what are you doing tonight?" Brittany asked nonchalantly, trying hard to not sound desperate for a night of hanging out with the brunette.

"I don't know, maybe having dinner with Dave before we leave on Monday…" Santana mumbled, obviously confused as to why Brittany was asking. _Aren't we in a fight or something?_ _And why did I say that? I'm not going anywhere near Karofsky outside of school.. _Santana thought to herself, turning to look at the blonde who was now nervously biting on her lip. _Dear God, get her to stop doing that. _She couldn't help but feel the heat flash through her body at the site of the blonde chewing on her lip.

Brittany looked up, almost as if she could read Santana's mind, and immediately released her hostage lip. "Oh, I didn't know you guys were still together…" Brittany said, but when she looked up she could see the lie in Santana's eyes. She knew that Santana didn't hang out with Karofsky outside of school. _She's obviously still thinking about yesterday... Damn it Britt, why didn't you just keep your damn mouth shut!_

"Duh." Santana said, and with that, she walked to her car, trying desperately to hide her face from the blonde as she drove away. She knew it was too late to turn back and apologize for being such a bitch, so instead she turned on the radio, wanting to forget the fact that she was once again going home to an empty house and she was once again running away from the best thing in her life.

_..She loves her momma's lemonade,  
>..Hates the sound that goodbyes make,<br>..She prays one day she'll find someone to need her…  
>..She swears there's no difference,<br>..Between the lies and compliments,  
>..It's all the same if everybody leaves her…<em>

_..And every magazine tells her she's not good enough,_  
><em>..The pictures that she sees makes her cry…<em>

She was almost home when her thoughts became too loud for her to ignore. _Are you stupid? She obviously was trying to fix things with you guys before it got too out of control! She's never asked anything of you before and she makes one request, she asks you to do one thing for her and you can't even swallow your pride enough to do it! _

She turned onto her road, trying to stop the onslaught of emotions that were now coursing through her body. _You have to make a choice... her or your reputation. _She got to her house and began turning into her driveway when she saw it; a green Camry sitting next to the curb in front of her house and a blonde leaning on the hood. The composure she was trying to keep up completely slipped away. _Her. Always her. _

_..She would change everything, everything, just ask her…_  
><em>..Caught in the in between,<em>  
><em>..Of Beautiful Disaster…<em>  
><em>..She just needs someone to take her home…<em>

Brittany was already at her door, taking off her seatbelt and pulling her from the drivers as her tears started to fall down her face. She wasn't sure how the blonde knew she would be here instead of dinner, but she didn't question it. Brittany knew her better than she knew herself.

_..She's giving boys what they want,  
>..Trying to act so nonchalant,<br>..Afraid to see that she's lost her direction…  
>..She never stays the same for long,<br>..Assuming that she'll get it wrong,  
>..Perfect only in her imperfection…<em>

_..She's not a drama queen..._  
><em>..She doesn't wanna feel this way…<em>  
><em>..Only 17 and tired, yeah…<em>

They had made it to her bedroom with no help from her own body; Brittany had basically carried her up the stairs. She stood on her own accord as Brittany tenderly took out the brunette's earrings and pulled out the pony tail holder from her hair, letting it fall down her back. The blonde then unbuttoned the white jacket and pulled it from her shoulders, tossing it gently onto her desk chair. Her actions weren't sexual, they were comforting.

Brittany, ever so gently, turned Santana around and began to unzip the dress she had been wearing that day at school. She undid the top hook and let it fall to the floor, pooling around the Latina's ankles. She turned her back around, admiring the girl in front of her before grabbing her chin and tilting her head back so she could look into her eyes. "Let me take care of you San… You can't always be the strong one..."

And with those words, Santana collapsed at the blonde's feet, leaning against her bed and pulling her knees up to her chest. She didn't deserve someone like Brittany; someone who would always come back to her no matter how much she screwed up.

_..She would change everything for happy ever after…  
>..Caught in the in between,<br>..Of Beautiful Disaster…  
>..She just needs someone to take her home…<em>

_..She's just the way she is,_  
><em>..But no one's told her that's okay…<em>

Brittany reached down and grabbed Santana, pulling her to the bed and laying her down in a sea of pillows. _She just needs to relax…_ Brittany thought as she crawled in next to her best friend. As soon as Santana felt Brittany in the bed, she crawled her way into her arms, placing her head in the crook of Brittany's neck and wrapping her arms around the blonde, not wanting to let go of the one thing that kept her tethered to the earth.

_..She would change everything, everything, just ask her…  
>..Caught in the in between of beautiful disaster…<em>

_..She would change everything for happy ever after…  
>..Caught in the in between of beautiful disaster…<br>..She just needs someone to take her home…  
>..She just needs someone to take her home …<em>

"I'm sorry B." She said softly, trying to keep the lump in her throat from overtaking her again before she could continue. "I'm sorry you think that it would be a hard decision for me to make; choosing you or Cheerios. Because it would always be you. Always. Ok?" She was trying hard not to cry, but it was becoming exceedingly difficult once she felt Brittany's arms wrap around her torso and pull her so she was now lying on her chest.

She inhaled that sweet scent that only Brittany could possess and collapsed fully on to the blonde below her, who still hadn't said a word and whose breathing still remained so calm, almost, too calm. Santana lifted her head to see that Brittany was still staring at the ceiling, running her hands absentmindedly through the brunette's hair but still not looking at her.

"Did you hear me Britt?" Santana's eyes were now darting back and forth between blue ones, trying to understand what the blonde was thinking. A minute or so later, Brittany's hands fell to her sides, she took a deep breath, and Santana knew she had resolved whatever internal dilemma she had been mulling over.

"It's not enough, but for now, I'll take it." Brittany met Santana's gaze, one that was now full of even more questions. Brittany wasn't sure why she was willing to only have this small part of Santana, but for now, she would take what she could get. She knew that she couldn't go on like this forever, but this little snatch of time that they had, moments like the one they were in now, would have to be enough. She knew it would never be physically possible to leave Santana again; they had tried that once and it was the worse two weeks of their lives. So instead, she would enjoy these moments until it became too much, and then, she would tell Santana the things she had told Quinn. But until that conversation happened, she would love Santana more than anyone had ever loved before.

And the rollercoaster would continue; backwards and forwards and upwards and downwards.

* * *

><p><strong>Whew. Long long long long lonnnnnggg! I think you get the point. Anywho, I just realized I didn't cite a song from my last chapter, when everyone was in the car and they were singing 'According to you' by Orianthi. So yea, consider it cited.<strong>

**The first song in this chapter was Bring Me to Life by Evanesence. It's a fave of mine for sure. Obviously, Back to Black was in there, and the last, and title track, was Beautiful Disaster by John McLaughlin. **

**I hope you guys liked this chapter… I know it was a little different, but I needed to give Santana more back story. I know both Finn and Kurt have lost parents, but Santana's reaction is much different than theirs, and I wanted to share that. **

**Last thought, I think NYC will be two separate chapters. Also, I'm writing a summer chapter, bring some closure to this story. It might be two or so chapters worth, so no worries, we still have some time together! **

**Xoxo-Kat**

**p.s., see that little button down there? The one that says 'Review'? I would love you forever if you left me a little somethin' somethin'! ;) **


	16. Chapter 16, City

**My love for my girls has returned. I can feel it while I'm writing this. I kind of went into a slump the last couple of weeks, but I'm actually smiling while writing this chapter! Enjoy! **

**Oh, and I will be breaking New York Episode up into two or three chapters because I have so many ideas going into it. And, honestly, it's not really going with the episode too much, little things yes, as always, but I'm pulling further and further away and focusing on the stuff we didn't get to see! **

**Not as much dialogue in this one either, more thoughts and actions than actual conversation. **

**Yea, and by the way, Glee still isn't mine... damn. **

* * *

><p><strong>Chapter 16<br>City**

"Britt, we gotta get going!" Santana had spent the last 10 minutes yelling up the stairs at the blonde to _move her ass_ and get down there so they could leave. It was Monday morning and they were leaving for Columbus in an hour to fly to New York City.

"Yea, yea, they aren't gonna leave without us San!" She heard from above. Now, Santana had flown more times than she could remember. She had two passports full of stamps from different countries around the world, so she understood the concept that airplanes waited for no one. Brittany on the other hand had never even been in an airport. Ok, once, but that was to pick Santana up from one of her forced trips to the 'mother land', as her parents referred to it. But even then Britt had gotten lost in the terminal and it took more time finding her then it did to drive back to Lima.

Santana was not going to miss this trip. She had been writing songs all weekend after her mental breakdown on Friday and she wanted to start pitching ideas with everyone as soon as she could. She'd never been so amped up for a competition like she was for this one. It had to do with a lot of things, but her parents being there and seeing her perform for the first time was a big reason.

"Brittany Susan Pierce! I swear to God I will leave your ass here!" When she didn't get a response, she continued, "Ok! Bye Britt!" She started walking, extremely slowly mind you, toward the door, exaggerating each step, until she heard the blonde fly down the stairs.

"Jesus San, keep your panties on!" The blonde huffed out, looking so New York in her pumps, white pants, suspenders, and blue beret. _Killin me with those pants, legs lookin miles long and shit…_

"That would mean I'd have to be wearing panties, Britt Britt!" She responded playfully, dragging her gaze up her best friends' body before meeting her eyes, which had an excited gleam to them, but also Santana noticed, something else. _Do I see some lust in those baby blues?… oh Britt, we're gonna have so much fun in New York. _And with that final thought, she led the way out to the car, smirking to herself as they shoved their bags into the trunk and climbed in.

* * *

><p><em>Seriously, if she's not wearing any underwear under that dress, we are going to have some MAJOR problems. <em>Brittany thought as they climbed into Santana's Mustang and flew through the streets of Lima. In only a few short hours they would be on a plane and heading to New York City. Brittany could barely contain her excitement as she bounced up and down in the passenger seat, barely registering the way Santana's hand was grasping hers tighter, trying to get her to stop.

This had been a recent development, the hand holding in the car, but she didn't object. She loved the feeling of Santana's hand around hers, even if it was just in the privacy of one of their vehicles. It almost felt like they were a _real _couple; obviously, they weren't, much to the dismay of both girls it seemed, but just like Britt had said before, for now, it would do.

They got to school and loaded the bus, preparing for the drive to the airport. Brittany noticed that not everyone knew how to pack right for a trip like this. Santana had easily fit everything into one suitcase and a carry on; she was an expert at traveling light, plus she needed extra room for the shopping she was planning on doing. She had helped Brittany as well, so their bags were easily stowed away while some struggled to even get them out of their cars.

Once they were loaded, and after several remarks from Santana about Rachel's three fully loaded suitcases, they were off.

The bus ride seemed short, probably because Brittany had nodded off on Santana's shoulder after only a few minutes, but before long they were bustling through the airport and boarding their plane. She couldn't believe they had first class tickets (Thanks to the old Mrs. Schue), and she loved the fact that there were only two seats to a row, so her and San could sit by each other and no one else.

It felt like old times again. Santana seemed to be in a lighter mood, complimenting Mercedes and Kurt on their outfits, _('So New York')_ and asking Quinn why she looked like a Milk Maid with that dress on. It was a two hour flight to JFK, so there wasn't much to do once the wheels left the ground and they were on their way.

Both girls were at the very back of first class, not exactly intentional, but not exactly accidental either. Once Brittany was sure that the drinks were served and everyone was sleeping, listening to their iPod, or talking amongst themselves, she grabbed Santana's hand. Santana didn't tense up like she normally would, and Brittany could tell that their week in New York was going to be good for them both.

* * *

><p>Santana felt familiar fingers interlace with hers and she relaxed immediately. She didn't want to admit how much flying terrified her, so she played the 'I've traveled so much that this doesn't even bother me' card all morning, but on the inside she was nervous. It was the same reason she preferred to drive instead of other people, because she wanted to be in control. <em>On a plane, you have no control; you are seriously at the mercy of some dude who is probably either drunk or falling asleep or both. <em>This was her last troublesome thought before she felt those hands wrap around her own.

She could feel Brittany's thumb grazing the back of her hand and she couldn't help but look down and smile. She loved the look of her skin next to Brittany's; so different but still so much the same. Both soft and smooth, both with long fingers and manicured nails, but one a milky glow while the other held a tint of caramel. Besides that small detail, they fit together like their bodies, like their personalities, and like their pinkies… perfectly.

At first she thought Brittany was just absentmindedly running her nails up and down her arm, but when she glanced at the blonde, she saw that look from this morning was in her eyes; _Oh she is so evil. _Santana thought as the blonde once again raked her nails up her arm, only to go a little further and run a finger across the swirl of her ear, before coming back down and scratching her palm.

Santana visibly shivered in pleasure, signaling to Brittany that if she kept this up, their personal relationship was about to become more public. The blonde toned it down and instead wrapped her hand back around Santana's, leaning across the seat and placing her head on the brunette's shoulder, drifting quickly to sleep.

The Latina was too wound up for sleep; flying, Brittany, nationals, Brittany, her parents, and Brittany were sending her nerves into overdrive. So instead, she occupied her time doing one of her favorite things in the world, watching her best friend sleep.

Which she did… for the entire flight.

They were descending when Santana leaned over and placed a few kisses to Brittany's face and neck; making the whole 'waking up' process an extremely enjoyable one for the blonde. She was looking at Santana when the brunette nudged her and pointed to the window, where New York City was laid out below them. They were flying over the Statue of Liberty when the pilot came over the speaker;

"Ladies and Gentleman, I hope you enjoyed your flight on American Airlines. We will be arriving at JFK airport in about 15 minutes. Thank you for another great journey and enjoy your stay. Welcome to New York City."

The entire first class section of the plane erupted in cheers and clapping, the McKinley High Glee club ready for their first day in the Concrete Jungle. Everyone was staring out of the windows, trying to catch a glimpse of the amazing view from above, everyone, that is, except for two best friends in the very back; they were just staring at each other.

* * *

><p>They arrived at their hotel a little bit later; everyone buzzing with excitement when they realized their hotel was smack dab in the middle of Times Square. The lights, the sounds, the people, it was all new to everyone except Santana. She had been there enough to know where the closest Star Bucks was and know that the M Train at 56th and 7th could get them downtown in about 15 minutes.<p>

Santana had plans to have lunch with her parents in the Meat Packing District at 2, so she didn't have a lot of time to sit around and mingle. She said goodbye to Mr. Schue, who had no idea where she was even going, and gave Britt a quick peck on the lips, _in front of Mercedes, Tina, Kurt, and Quinn!, _before hopping into a taxi and telling him to move his ass.

"Uh Britt, is there something you want to tell us?" Kurt asked, a smile playing at the corners of his mouth.

"Oh, yea, I'm starving! Let's get some food!" She yelled at the group. They all noticed the obvious dismissal of the subject and quickly began searching the area for a food vendor. Quinn didn't miss the slight blush that still lingered on Brittany's face and waited until everyone else had gotten their food and had gone over to the TKTS stairs in Times Square to eat.

"So Ms. Thang, what did I miss over the weekend?" Quinn asked, bumping her shoulder into the other blonde's as they waited for their food.

"Well, we talked, not a lot, but there was a change." Brittany wasn't sure how to describe what she meant, but she tried. "She seems more open to the idea of us being together, but, she's still not ready. But, I think we're on more equal footing, because we both want it, now it's just about the timing."

Quinn saw it then, the look of pure joy on Brittany's face when the blue eyed girl was able to talk so freely about the possibility of actually being with Santana. Even though her love life had completely fallen apart just a few days before, she was happy to see Britt and San figuring things out. She wanted them to be happy, even if she was miserable.

"Awww look at you! All in love and shit!" Quinn said, laughing a little as Brittany blushed a deep shade of red and began walking toward the rest of the group, obviously wanting to end the conversation. They both sat down and started listening to the conversations around them.

Britt could tell that Quinn was still uncomfortable being around Finn and it put her on edge with how calm and collected the other blonde was acting. She knew Quinn, almost as well as she knew Santana, and a loud angry Quinn was like a kitten, but a quiet controlled Quinn was a time bomb. She had tried to ask her how she was but then Rachel walked up, effectively ending that attempt to make the hazel eyed girl feel better. She watched as Q had a small conversation with Rachel about the 'Cats' tickets, which B was extremely excited about, but then totally bummed out over when she found out they were super old.

She was checking her phone occasionally, waiting on a text from San to tell her she made it to lunch. Granted, Britt knew that if anyone could take on New York City by themselves, it was the Latina. The girl had practically been a regular visitor of this city for as long as they had been friends and she had all faith that Santana had made it to lunch and had just forgotten to text her. After another round of songs from the club, her phone went off.

_On my way back. Left the assholes that call themselves my parents at the restaurant. Be there soon.-S_

_Aw great_ Brittany thought as she re-read the text. She knew that the relationship between Santana and her parents was a strained one, but she was hoping that they could reunite a little while in New York together, but obviously that wasn't the case. Britt put the phone in Quinn's line of sight and let the blonde read it as well, but all she did was shrug, either unwilling or unable to provide a suggestion as to how to respond.

* * *

><p><em>Well, I miss you already, so hurry up and get here! xoxo- B<em>

Santana smiled when she got the text; leave it to Brittany to make her smile even though she had tears running down her face. Once again her parents were winning the 'Shittiest Parents of the Year' award with this last stunt. Santana didn't want to have to explain to Brittany that once again her parents let her down; she has had to do it too much in the past already.

She was practically bouncing in the restaurant booth, gushing over how awesome the Nationals competition was going to be, when her mom asked her when it was. When she told them it was Thursday afternoon and evening, there was a shared look between the two adults and then the look of sympathy. Santana knew they weren't coming; she didn't have to ask. She could tell that they had made other plans and would once again miss the opportunity to see their daughter perform.

She didn't care. She was done trying to impress them with all of this. She didn't say anything as she got up to leave and neither did her parents. _I think that was the worst part… they didn't even care to stop me..._ she thought as she climbed into the back of a cab and gave him the name of the hotel.

She made it back in time to see the other glee clubbers filing in, so she followed suit, walking up behind Britt and linking her pinky with hers. The blonde glanced over at her, offering a small sad smile, which the brunette returned, but also shaking her head slightly, a silent plea not to ask what had happened at lunch. She knew Britt would understand and together, along with Q, filed in and waited for Mr. Schue to check them in.

They went up to their rooms, the girls taking over one room while the boys were put in one down the hall. It was then that Santana had received a message from the bell hop, telling her that her parents had gotten her dinner reservations for herself and a guest at one of the hottest restaurants in New York. She rolled her eyes at this new development, knowing full well that this was just another form of bribery that her parents used to keep her from being too mad at them.

She passed the note to Brittany with the words, 'Join me?' written on the bottom.

* * *

><p>Brittany couldn't help but be distracted during the meeting after reading Santana's dinner invite. They had gone to dinner together more times than she could remember, but this, written in an elegant handwriting on the hotel stationary, seemed more like a date. She tried to distract herself, tracing her glass from her lunch onto a piece of paper, but her mind was going a mile a minute.<p>

_What if she doesn't think of it as a date? What if this is just dinner and I'm reading into this wayyy too much! _Brittany couldn't stop thinking about the invite; what was she going to wear? Did she pack anything nice or was it all just random clothes? She couldn't even remember what was in her bag! Santana must have noticed the internal dialogue, _or she really can read my mind,_ and sent Britt a text.

_Dress nice B, the place we're going is probably super nice and super romantic-S_

_Super romantic huh?_ Britt thought as she closed her phone, _Yep. This is definitely a date. _

As the group grew more and more anxious about the song writing situation, Brittany decided she was going to try to write a song. She knew she was a dancer, not a songwriter, so instead of trying to actually write a song for Nationals, she wrote a song to make everyone laugh. She knew 'My Cup' was absolutely ridiculous, but it was such a "her thing" to do, and she went with it.

Granted, the looks she was getting from Santana when she teamed up with Puck and Artie were enough to make her get a little scared, but she did it because she needed Artie's voice (plus she knew he'd do anything to make up for the 'stupid' comment he made) and Puck because she needed music and he happened to bring his guitar.

She assembled everyone on the beds and began singing her song. She received some hilarious looks from everyone, and when she looked up and saw that Santana was laughing to herself, she knew her mission had been accomplished. She knew that Santana was no longer worried about her parents and that they would be able to enjoy New York, together.

* * *

><p><em>Ok, Britt's song was freaking priceless, but Q's right, we have GOT to get out of here. <em>Santana was pacing in the room, waiting for everyone to get their stuff together so they could go. She felt hands on her hips and a body press up close behind her and she immediately relaxed. It was weird, even though they were surrounded by the glee girls, she didn't mind that Brittany was being affectionate in front of them. _Turning points,_ Santana thought to herself as Brittany put her head on her shoulder and very discretely pressed a kiss just below her ear, before dragging her from the room so they could explore the city.

She didn't know where this was all coming from or how it really happened, but she wasn't going to object. Just like the hand holds in the car, or on the plane, or now while walking down 7th Avenue; it didn't matter, it was just them in a sea of people, and she loved it.

Santana didn't have to pay attention to the sights they were seeing, she had seen it all a million times, plus, nothing compared to the sight at her side. She never realized how different things could be once she left Lima. Maybe, just maybe, this could be a way of life for her… with Brittany. They only had a year left of high school and then they could be gone; they could leave Lima and move here and be together without the constant fear of ridicule and laughter that was sure to happen if they came out while still at McKinley.

They had stopped by a vendor to get some snacks when Santana asked the question that had been on her mind for the past hour.

"Hey B, what are your plans for after high school?" Of all the years they had been friends, this subject had never came up. It was as if fate was just waiting on them to figure themselves out before intervening.

"I don't know, I was just planning on going wherever you went." Brittany said, never taking her eyes off the attractions that surrounded them. She said it so innocently, like it was the simplest thing in the world, and Santana's heart melted. She felt relief flood through her body, but also something else, guilt maybe? She wanted Brittany, that much was obvious, but she didn't want the blonde to go somewhere if it wasn't right for her.

"I can see your wheels turning Santana, don't worry though, I have a plan." The blonde said, turning to look at the brunette when she said this. The look on San's face was a mix between confusion and awe; because Santana was the planner and Brittany was the spontaneous one, so to hear that the blonde had a plan made her feel a little better.

* * *

><p>It was true, Brittany did have a plan. This plan involved a two month road trip with her parents across the country this summer, auditioning for different schools to try and get a dance scholarship. Her grades weren't amazing like Santana's, but they weren't terrible either. San had made sure that Britt studied and would help her with anything that she needed, so she was doing ok.<p>

She knew where Santana wanted to go to school; Columbia, right smack dab in the middle of the city they were now visiting. It was where her step-dad went to school to be a doctor, and Santana was all about becoming something great. And even though she didn't know what she wanted to do, she knew where she wanted to learn. So Brittany had set up several auditions in the city, planning to return here in June to try out at several private dance schools along with NYU and even Julliard.

How Brittany ever got a chance to audition at either of them she would never know, but her dance instructor had sent a request for an audition along with photos and video of Brittany, and not even a week later she was getting responses, urging the girl to try out. Not only was she visiting New York, she was also looking at several schools in Ohio, and also a few all the way across the country; UCLA and The University of San Diego were all a part of the road trip plan. Granted, she would never want to be that far away from her family or Santana, but she wanted options.

She hadn't informed her best friend of this road trip or of these audition's because she didn't want Santana to worry. Britt meant what she said that night on Puck's deck during the After-Regional's party. Santana had never spent any time alone and with Britt being gone most of the summer, she wasn't sure how the brunette would take the news. So instead of telling her right away, she was buying her time, hoping to see what Santana might do before the school year was up. Not even Santana knew how much Brittany was planning on having her in her future.

She was pulled from her thoughts when Santana gripped her hand a little tighter, obviously noticing how deep in thought she was and was trying to bring her back to reality. Brittany shot her a mega-watt smile and they continued their trek throughout the city… enjoying the company of the entire club and feeding off the excitement that they finally made it to New York New York.

* * *

><p>Santana was standing in front of the mirror in the guys' bathroom. She didn't want to get ready in front of Brittany so she begged Puck to let her get ready in there, promising to disregard anything she heard them talking about. She was plucking feathers (<em>gosh damn pillow fight!) <em>from her hair before climbing into the shower when she heard Finn discussing his plans for his date with Rachel the next day. She almost threw up in her mouth and had to yell out of the bathroom for them to stop talking about it because it could ruin her appetite.

She was finished getting ready, and with a final swipe of lip gloss, she walked out of the bathroom. The wolf whistles almost made her blush, but because she was so used to getting these types of cat calls, she was almost able to ignore it. She made her way to the door before hearing the voice of the one person she used to think was perfect for her.

"Hey good lookin', where's your fine ass going this evening?" Of course Puck would call her out instead of just letting her leave. She turned around to notice that all of the boys were now staring at her, a couple with their jaws hanging open, and she knew she had the desired effect.

She was wearing a short white dress that dipped low in the front and was short on her tan thighs. It had a black belt around the middle that highlighted her tiny waist but also her ass. The four inch black strappy heels helped in the butt department too. The white made her skin look like a mix of melting caramel while her hair added a drizzle of chocolate. In one word, she looked delicious.

She didn't respond to Puck's question, instead giving them all a wiggle of her fingers and telling them not to wait up for her. She strutted from the room, feeling a bit like her old self again. You know, the one who would walk down the halls with her hands on her hips and her Cheerios skirt flowing in the breeze, and made her way to the girls' room.

She had a key card, but she wanted to knock instead, it made it feel more official. Neither girl had mentioned that this felt more like a date than just dinner, but the thoughts were there. Santana knew that Brittany thought of this as a date, and even though it took a little courage on her part, she had to agree, this was so a date.

She felt the butterflies in her stomach start to swarm when she heard the lock being twisted from the inside. The door swung open and there was Q, obviously gawking at her, whispering nothing more than a 'Damn San…' before moving aside and letting the Latina in. Santana walked in slowly, not sure where Britt was in the room and she didn't want the rest of the girls to see her if her heart melted or exploded or something when she saw the blonde.

"Britt, Santana's here!" Quinn yelled as they walked the small stretch of hallway leading into the room. _So much for the subtle entrance…_ She thought, but was rendered speechless by the sight in front of her. Brittany was standing by the window, just looking out over the New York skyline, and turned to see her two friends walking toward her. She turned around fully and Santana stopped dead in her tracks. _For all that is holy, she has got to be the most beautiful thing I have ever seen…_

Santana knew she was staring, but she didn't care. All she could see was how absolutely breathtaking the woman in front of her was. The fitted blue halter top dress was short enough to show off the long legs that were fitted with a pair of nude color heels. The neckline was just low enough to show off a little cleavage but still not revealing too much. Her makeup was flawless, and exactly how Santana liked to see it. She had a nude lipstick on that gave her lips just enough of a pout but not clashing with the beauty that surrounded them. Her eye shadow was light and her liner wasn't heavy, leaving her baby blues to do the work while the makeup just complimented them. In one word, she was stunning.

"Hey San…" Brittany said, and Santana noticed that she seemed a little nervous, so she walked up and gave her a hug, telling her she looked great and began pulling her out of the door.

"Q, cover for us if Mr. Schue comes back?" Santana asked, stopping to turn and face the other blonde.

"Of course." Quinn said simply, but it sounded more like _duh dumbass._ Santana let go of Brittany's hand and swept Quinn up into a bone crushing hug. "Thanks Q, I owe you, for like, a lot." Santana breathed into her ear, causing Quinn to laugh as she heard the double meaning in the brunette's words. "Yea, yea, whatever," Quinn replied, pushing them both toward the door, "Just get going, you don't want to miss your reservations!"

* * *

><p>Even though Brittany did not like Santana's parents at the moment, she had to give it to them, when they did New York, they did it in style. When they reached the street level outside of the hotel, a man was standing next to a black limo with a sign that simply read 'Lopez' on it, indicating that they were going to be chauffeured around the city for the evening. Both girls grinned at each other before hopping into the spacious back seat and giggling when they couldn't decide which bench seat they wanted to sit on.<p>

Santana went straight to the liquor cabinet, popping the latch, and then frowning slightly when she found a note inside.

_Mija,_

_For one, this is sparkling grape juice, not wine. Don't drink too much or your stomach will hurt. Two, your dinner is already paid for, so please enjoy whatever you and Brittany would like to have. And three, your father and I are so very sorry about missing your performance. I promise we will make it up to you soon. Good luck, even though I know you don't need it._

_Love,  
>Mami<em>

Santana had to laugh; her parents knew her too well. First the note that was strategically hidden in the liquor cabinet, knowing that their daughter would look in it as soon as the door was closed. _Maybe I'm not as sneaky as I think I am? _She thought, as she scanned the note again. The second part, and most important to her, was the mentioning of Brittany being her date for the evening. It might be dumb, but that little mention showed that her parents did pay attention to some degree, and it made her feel a little less testy toward her family.

Santana decided that since it was available, she'd pop the cork on the sparkling grape juice and pour them a glass. "What should we toast to Brittz?" She asked as she looked up to see Brittany staring out the window of the limo, just taking in the city around her for the first time. She looked like a million bucks with her hair falling down around her shoulders, something Santana hadn't realized she loved until they had quit Cheerios and actually got to see that beautiful blonde hair down.

"Duh San, we toast to us!" she said simply, clinking their glasses together and taking a sip before they both decided it was gross and put it back in the cabinet.

Santana could feel Brittany's eyes on her and when she turned, she had to swallow hard because those baby blues were just inches from her own brown eyes. Brittany leaned in tentatively, barely brushing her lips against the brunette's and whispering '_you look beautiful tonight San…_' before grasping her hand and laying her head on her shoulder. It was just right; it was something they both always said to one another but now it just felt different, it felt more real.

Before either girl could say much else, they felt the car come to a stop and heard their door being opened for them. The driver leaned in and helped each of them out. This made both girls blush and even giggle a little because, even if they were in a fancy limo going to a romantic dinner for two, they were still 17 year old girls.

San was laughing at the way Brittany was standing in the middle of the busy sidewalk, just like a tourist from Ohio, when she looked up and noticed they were at her favorite Italian spot in the entire world, Felidia Ristorante. _My parents know me too well, like, scary well. _She thought, before grasping the blonde's hand and walking together into the restaurant

Santana's thoughts were still a jumbled mess after the little kiss in the car and forced herself to not run into anyone as they were led to their table. As she watched a waiter pull out Britt's chair and then her own, she began to realize just how much she wanted to be with Brittany. Yea it's been said a million times, but this freedom to actually enjoy a dinner with the blonde and think of it as a date made her heart feel like it was too big for her chest. This was Brittany; the girl who was capable of putting up with all of Santana's shit, her attitude, and all of her insecurities and still managed to love her regardless of them. Her heart was busting at the seams just thinking about how much Brittany loved her too. This final thought made it to where she couldn't stop herself from leaning across the table and capturing the blonde's lips with her own.

She felt Brittany smile into the kiss, obviously realizing how big of a moment this was for the two of them to be kissing in a very crowded restaurant. After pulling back only a tiny bit, Santana whispered very quietly, "Because my parents are paying it's not technically a date, but, I'll take it…" and she sat back down to enjoy the rest of their meal.

* * *

><p>They were climbing back into the limo when the driver dropped the divider between them. "Girls, we have another stop to make." Both looked at each other and then back to the man in the front, "Santana, your parents also got you tickets to see a performer in SoHo tonight, I hope you're both up to it." As the grins on both the girls' faces got bigger, the driver took that as a yes and rolled the divider back up.<p>

"Holy shit San, you know your parents have me so pissed off right now, but I can't help but love them too!" Brittany squealed, launching herself into her best friends' arms and bouncing around the back half of the limo like a kid on speed.

"We don't even know who we're seeing yet, B." Santana said, trying to hide her own excitement but still feeding off of Brittany's. She pulled Britt into her lap and wrapped her arms around her waist while the honking and sirens of New York City played in the background.

Britt could tell Santana was excited just by the way her hands were twitching in her lap and the way her eyes were darting back and forth between the limo's windows, trying to catch a peak as to where they were. When the car finally stopped again, they both pushed their way to the left side of the car, hoping to get a clue as to what they were doing. Their door was opened for them and once again they were helped out. The driver then asked both girls to wait and he left them beside the car and went to speak to the man at the door.

"San, this is like, top secret stuff right now." Brittany said, gripping the girls hand and watching the exchange take place between the driver and the bouncer. She looked over to see Santana nodding her head, but she could tell that she was trying to hear the just of the conversation. When the bouncer seemed satisfied with whatever they were talking about, the driver came back.

"Ok ladies, you're set to go." He looked at Santana with almost a fatherly gaze before continuing, "This is a 21 and older club, but obviously you're parents spared no expense so you two could get it. But, there will be no drinking and as soon as the show is over I'm taking you both back to your hotel; sound like a deal?"

Both girls were beaming at him but nodded their heads none the less, obviously excited to get inside and see what this was all about.

When they walked in, they were ushered to a corner booth toward the front of the club. A bar lined the back wall and was stocked with every type of wine, liquor, or beer you could imagine. There was a small stage in the front with nothing but a piano and a microphone, which only made the atmosphere more intimate because of the proximity of the crowd and the stage.

A waitress took their drink orders, two Shirley Temples, and returned shortly before the lights went down. Neither girl really knew what to expect until a man in a designer suit walked up to the stage for the introductions.

"Good evening ladies and gentleman, and welcome. Tonight, as some of you may know, and as most of you don't, we have a very special guest with us. Please give a warm New York City welcome to Ms. Sara Bareilles!"

Brittany felt Santana stiffen at her side. As much as the girl loved Amy Winehouse and Adele and Norah Jones, Sara Bareilles was at the top of that musical heap. Santana was almost hyperventilating when the woman walked on stage and sat down at the piano, obviously ready to give them a live performance that most of the packed house wasn't expecting to be given.

Santana suddenly snapped out of her daze and turned to face Brittany. She stared at her for a moment and then planted a kiss on her so deep it made her knees go weak. When Santana pulled back, she could see the questioning look in Britt's eyes and could only say, "I just needed to make sure this was real!" before clapping wildly as the first song began.

And so they sat, sipping on Shirley Temples in a dark bar in New York City, listening to Sara Bareilles serenade them with her piano and voice. Neither girl had been expecting such an amazing night but when one of them happened to catch the other's eye, it was written all over their faces. They were having the trip of a lifetime, and they were getting to enjoy it together.

Brittany liked the music, but she was more interested in the love of her life that was sitting next to her with a huge grin plastered on her face. It was the grin that Santana only showed when Brittany was around, and she was glad that if even for one night, it could be placed back onto that beautiful face. Santana seemed relaxed and it also seemed that any negativity the girl felt for her parents was slowly melting away; _the tough act could only last so long anyway! _Britt thought as she once again took in the girl's smile and the way Santana wasn't allowing even an inch of space between them.

Brittany loved seeing this side of Santana; this comfortable side. This side that was now holding her hand on top of the table and not glancing around to make sure the coast was clear. The side that was now drawing little patterns on the blonde's legs, not to tease, but just because she had to be touching her. This side that was leaning over on occasion and placing small kisses on the side of her neck, below her earlobe, on the corner of her mouth, or on her shoulder. She could get used to this side of Santana.

* * *

><p><em>Seriously, my parents are so kissing my ass with this but I can't even be mad. This is the shit! <em>Santana's thoughts were running a mile a minute as she took in the scene around her. She idolized the woman on stage, she adored the woman at her side, and she was truly happy for the first time in a long time. She wasn't even upset when Sara announced that she was about to perform the last song of the evening because this had been the best night of her life, hands down.

As the chords of the song began to play, Santana closed her eyes and couldn't help but think how appropriate it was. She glanced over at Brittany for the thousandth time that night and smiled, giving her a small nudge on the shoulder, before going back to the performance.

_..There's a harvest each Saturday night…  
>..At the bars filled with perfume, and hitching a ride…<br>..A place you could stand for one night and get gone…._

_..It's clear this conversation,  
>..Ain't doing a thing…<br>..Cause these boys only listen to me when I sing…  
>..And I don't feel like singing tonight,<br>..All the same songs…_

_..Here in these deep City lights…  
>..Girl could get lost tonight…<br>..I'm finding every reason to be gone,  
>..Nothing here to hold on to…<br>..Could I hold you?_

She felt Brittany's hand wrap around her own as that last line was sung and Santana's heart was once again too big for her chest. This was Britt's way of showing her that no matter what, no matter where they ended up next year, or next month, or next week, they'd both have something worth holding on to…

_..The situation's always the same…  
>..You got your wolves in their clothes whispering Hollywood's name…<br>..Stealing gold from the silver they see,  
>..But it's not me…<em>

_..Here in these deep City lights…  
>..Girl could get lost tonight…<br>..I'm finding every reason to be gone,  
>..There's nothing here to hold on to…<br>..Could I hold you?_

Even though there was only a fraction of an inch between them, they scooted closer to one another, both silently agreeing that this is where they belonged. They belonged together, they belonged together like the moon and the stars, or like peanut butter and jelly; there was no rhyme or reason or specific formula to explain it, it's just the way it is.

_..Calling out, somebody save me,  
>..I feel like I'm fading away…<br>..Am I gone?  
>..Calling out ,somebody save me,<br>..I feel like I'm fading…_

_..In these deep city lights…  
>..A girl could get lost tonight…<br>..I'm finding every reason to be gone,  
>..There's nothing here to hold on to…<br>..Could I hold on to you?_

When the song ended and the lights came up, Santana was worried that the spell would be broken. That maybe this was really all a dream and that the hand she felt in her own was just a hallucination. But when she looked up and saw the smile that Brittany was giving her, she knew that the spell was just starting to work its magic.

They made their way out to the street and just like a trusty old friend, their driver stood against his car waiting for them to exit the bar. As they started to climb in, he glanced at Santana and said in a small aside, "I was thinking about driving around for awhile, you know, just to check out the city. Would that be ok?" He was giving her the option to have more time with Brittany and she gladly took it, nodding her head slightly to him as she climbed into the back seat.

Brittany was already waiting on Santana to get her cute butt into the car so she could kiss her. Britt loved that she could kiss San anytime she wanted while they were in New York and she was planning on taking full advantage of it. Before the brunette could even sit down fully she was in a heated lip lock with the blonde, who was now straddling her on the bench seat.

"Jesus B..." she heard Santana say as she released her lips and started running her tongue across the girls collarbone. She felt the shiver run through the brunette as she sucked on the spot of Santana's neck where her pulse was beating frantically under her lips.

"San, I'm not trying to bribe you or anything, because that's totally wrong," She heard a murmured 'uh huh' before continuing, "but imagine us being able to do this all the time." She bit down softly on Santana's neck and grinned against the tan skin as a mixture of a moan and a gasp escaped the brunette's mouth.

Santana grabbed Brittany's face and immediately brought their lips back together, kissing her so passionately that for the second time in one night, B felt her knees go weak. Britt noticed that she didn't get a response for her bribery and pulled back to look at Santana, hoping to gage what the girl was thinking just by looking at her. She saw a lot of things written in the face and eyes of the girl she loved; lust, hope, and pure bliss. And for the first time, fear was not in the cards, and this, for Brittany, was the most important.

Usually when she brought up the idea of a relationship, Santana would shut down, but right now, in the back seat of a limo in NYC, she was opening up to the idea. Brittany could feel the change happening between them, a _shift_, if you will. And even if it wasn't going to be discussed at that moment, because, let's face it, they had better things to do, the fact that Santana didn't try to effectively end the sweet lady kisses sent Brittany's mind reeling.

"Best. First Date. Ever."

* * *

><p><strong>Ok, so, not even through the first day in NYC. Whew. 14 pages and I'm spent. Hope you guys enjoyed that. The song City is huge; just summed it all up for me when it came to these two. They are at a complete crossroads and needed something to push them over the edge. Granted, it won't be 'that easy', but their time will come. <strong>

**Next chapter is already being formed in my head. Workin on it!**

**Until next time, those reviews = love! **

**xoxo-Kat**


	17. Chapter 17, Light up the World

**Helloooo! Ok, so not much to say, but here's part 2 of 3 for the New York episode… Um toward the end I do a big jump. I skip all of Nationals completely, because well, we all know what happens. Perform, kiss of death, perform, lose. SO, it's referenced, but I skip the drama of it all. I have my own stuff to put instead! Sorry it took so long to update, life got in the way.**

**Oh, and yea, glee's not mineeeeee!**

* * *

><p><strong>Chapter 17<br>Light up the World**

"It couldn't have happened anywhere but in little old New York City." Q. Henry

* * *

><p>Santana woke up when she heard Rachel and Kurt leave for their 'Breakfast at Tiffany's' adventure and rolled over to see a head of blonde hair next to her. She was still in a sleepy haze when she slipped her arm around the blonde's waist and kissed her lightly on the back of the next.<p>

"Um Santana," The brunette froze when she heard the voice, "if you would kindly get the fuck off, that'd be great."

It was Quinn. Santana pretty much fell off of the bed when she realized who she had been cuddling with and looked around to see Brittany still very much asleep, curled into a little ball in a chair. She looked over and saw Quinn staring at her and whispered in a husky voice, "wrong blonde" before going over and waking Brittany up.

"Babe.." San said, as she peppered little kisses all over Brittany's face; she could tell the blonde was awake by the second or third kiss, but she kept going, "Britt, there's a bed open, and that can't be comfy. Come on, up you go."

She half carried half dragged the girl over to the bed Berry had just vacated and flopped her down on the sheets. She looked down at her best friend and couldn't help the smile that crept onto her face.

"You're such a sap." Quinn said, Santana turning to notice the hazel eyed girl studying her.

"Am not.." She replied, but she was unable to keep her grin from becoming a full blown smile as she turned to once again watch Brittany sleep. _I could march a parade through here and she wouldn't wake up… _

"Seriously, when are you just going to get over yourself and be with her?" Quinn asked, getting Santana's full attention. The brunette walked over and sat next to the smaller blonde, letting out a big breath she didn't realize she was holding, and gave a little shrug.

"Really San? You have to know she's not gonna wait around for you forever right?" Quinn was looking entirely too serious for this early in the morning, but what she was saying was causing the brunette's heart to beat a little too fast. "Because I know for a fact she's already tired of waiting on you to figure it all out. She wants to be with you, only you; and you need to make a decision."

"It's not that easy Q." Santana growled, throwing herself back into the sea of pillows and closing her eyes.

"Not that easy? Santana, she cheated on Artie, for you. She rejected his prom proposal, for you! She follows you around like a lost little puppy just waiting for you to say the words, 'Hey everyone. I'm Santana, I'm a lesbian, and I'm head over heels in love with my best friend Brittany.' That's it. She's not even asking you to come out to the whole school, just glee club, and hell, half of us already know anyways!"

_Seriously, too many words for this early in the morning. _Santana thought as she tried to digest everything Quinn had just told her. _She has a point though..._ was the thought from that little voice of reason that Santana kept locked tightly inside her mind and didn't like to let out. _I know she has a freaking point, but she's not the one having to go around blabbing that she's gay and taking a fuckin' glacier to the face every day for it! _

She was trying to fight with the voice of reason… and she was losing. _Um, hello? When was the last time someone actually got slushied? You and Dave stopped that remember?… Jesus, it's almost like you don't really want her or something! _

_YOU LOCK IT UP!_

"Look Quinn, I appreciate the advice, I really do…" She started, but was quickly cut off.

"But?"

"But, I need to do this my own way, on my own time. I would come out to the world tomorrow if I knew I'd lose her, but right now, we're ok with where we are. We're just going to enjoy New York, win Nationals, and then I can worry about all this other stuff." She was rambling, and she knew rambling wouldn't lead anywhere good, so she stopped talking all together.

Both girls sat in silence for a moment, just listening to the snores of Lauren, before Quinn continued.

"Wait, so, you said you would come out tomorrow if you thought you'd lose her? Right?"

"Right…?" Santana wasn't sure where this was going, so she waited for Q to sort through her own thoughts.

"So basically, you're saying that it's ok that you're stringing her along, and it's ok that you haven't made an honest woman out of her, or you for that matter, and call what you guys do dating, because you know she won't leave you regardless?"

"No, that's not how I meant it, I'm just…" _Oh shit, is that how this looks? Is that how I sounded? Fuck._

"Wow Santana. And here I thought you cared about her, when really she's just a good fuck until you figure it all out."

Quinn was already putting on her shoes and getting ready to leave. She was huffing a lot and Santana was doing everything in her power to explain.

"No Q, I mean, duh I care about her, are you kidding me? I freaking love the girl, but I'm scared ok? That's it, I'm just terrified." Santana really couldn't believe that Quinn could think that about her and Britt's relationship; of course it was more than just the sex, _which is mind blowing,_ but it's so much more.

"I just don't want her to get hurt by you San. You've done it a lot and she's tired of waiting; you're letting her hang all over you here, how do you think it'll be when we get home? Are you just going to tell her 'no' and go back to holding pinkies and having make out sessions in locker rooms? I mean, do you really truly believe she'll wait around for you forever?"

Santana didn't want to hear this because she knew it was true. She knew she never deserved Brittany in the first place and she didn't want to think about what would happen if Britt just walked away. It physically hurt Santana to think about losing the blonde now.

Quinn could tell her words were starting to affect the Latina, which was exactly what she wanted. She wanted Santana to realize that she couldn't have her cake and eat it too. She needed to either become official with the girl or cut the ties, but even Quinn wasn't sure if that were possible anymore.

"Look, all I'm saying is that Britt is still a 17 year old girl. She's got all these big plans and even bigger dreams, and if you don't get movin, you're going to be left behind."

* * *

><p>Brittany heard Santana let out a big breath and it took everything in her to keep still. She wanted to punch Quinn in the face for talking like this to her best friend, but then again, she wanted to hug her for finally talking some sense into the girl.<p>

"She's gonna leave me Q, I know she is." Santana was crying now, it wasn't full out sobbing, but she was definitely crying. "She's going to get some big dance scholarship and she's going to go, and not necessarily because she wants to, but because I'll make her. She can't pass up anything for me, and I think that's what scares me the most. I'm going to lose her after we graduate, I know it…"

The urge to comfort Santana was becoming overwhelming for the blue eyed blonde. She needed to tell Santana her plans about school, and for this summer, and every other minor detail. She needed Santana to know that hopefully they wouldn't have to make any choices and that they'd be in New York together come the fall of 2012. She needed to tell her this, but right now, in this moment, she needed to keep quiet.

"San.. shhh.. it's ok, I'm sorry, ok? I didn't mean to push you like that, I'm just worried that you guys are going to miss your chance if you keep waiting for the 'right time' to come out. That's all.." Quinn was choking up too. Tears were the Unholy Trinities weakness; if one cried, they all cried, and it wasn't always pretty.

"s'ok Q, I get it, thanks though, you know, for caring enough about her to tell me this stuff." Santana said, still sniffling a little bit. "I'll work on it, and I'll try to keep the sexy times to a minimum."

Quinn snorted at that, trying to still be quiet considering the room was full of glee club girls. "It's not just her that I care about San… I want you both to be happy."

Brittany was forever grateful that she and Santana had someone like Quinn. They might fight and they might be overly obsessed with themselves at times, but they still all cared for each other. It seemed like both girls were done talking, so Britt decided it was time to 'wake up'.

"San?" Brittany called out, a little over dramatic with her sleepy voice. "Santana?" She reached around for her but her hands found nothing but cold sheets.

"Hey B…" Santana got up from Quinn's bed and quickly wiped away any remaining tears before falling down and snuggling up to the blonde. Britt felt the familiar arms snake around her waist and felt wet kisses being placed on her neck. This lasted for a few more minutes, and it kind got to her a little if she really thought about it. Everything Santana had said to Quinn was running through her head as they laid there.

_I would come out to the world tomorrow if I knew I'd lose her…_

_She's going to get some big dance scholarship and she's going to go, and not necessarily because she wants to, but because I'll make her…_

She wanted to ask Santana about this, but then she heard Quinn clear her throat and felt Santana pull away, _everyone is waking up…_ She thought as she turned to see Lauren moving around and Tina trying to find the switch to the bathroom light.

_Welp, looks like we're back to square one..._ Britt thought as San got off the bed completely and started getting ready for the day.

* * *

><p>Everyone was meeting in the boys' room to work on some song ideas, well, everyone that was still at the hotel. Mr. Schue was gone again, Kurt and Rachel hadn't come back yet, and her, Quinn, and Britt were still in their room.<p>

"Alright Britt Britt, you got anymore song ideas?" Santana asked, still waiting on Quinn to get out of the damn bathroom. "Cause seriously babe, 'My Cup' was freaking awesome." Santana was standing by the window, enjoying their view, when she heard the blonde say in a small voice,

"Don't call me that." San looked over to see Brittany sitting on the edge of her bed, looking at her hands, her blonde hair framing her face, cutting off all access to her eyes and therefore, Santana's way of knowing if she meant that or not.

"Don't call you what?" Santana said, making her way over to the blonde and kneeling down in front of her, putting her hands on Britt's thighs and looking up into her face.

"Don't call me babe, you don't mean it, so don't say it." Brittany never really got mad at Santana, but right now, the brunette could see a hint of anger in those pretty blue eyes. "It's just a pet name, but, people use pet names with people that they're with, and you don't want to be with me, so don't use it."

Brittany had on a full pouty face at this point, but San could tell she was being serious. "Babe, sorry, Britt," She corrected quickly, "You know I want to be with you! Don't say shit like that! Just give me some time, this isn't easy!" That's when Brittany looked her full in the face and Santana almost stumbled backwards from the weight of the glare she was getting.

"And I never said it was Santana! Why do you think you're the only one who will catch shit for this! Do you not realize that if we're together, I'll be on the receiving end of the same bullshit as you? And do you hear me freaking out? No. Wanna know why? Because I love you and if I have you then I'll be ok. I'll be just fine with it all because at the end of the day I have you." She didn't take her eyes off of Santana throughout her entire speech, and when she didn't respond, she continued.

"You are enough for me Santana, and I wish I was enough for you."

_That got her attention. _

Britt felt Santana's hands cradle her face as she stared into those chocolate brown orbs, "Don't ever say that. You will always be enough for me Britt, always." The fierceness of her words only made Brittany more upset because, even though the brunette was saying these things, she wasn't acting on them.

They didn't say anything for a few moments, both trying to decide if they should keep talking or just stop while they were ahead.

"Shut up you guys! I'm fucking tired of hearing you both bitch!" Quinn yelled from the bathroom. Santana was on her feet in a second, ready to give the blonde a piece of her mind, until Brittany grabbed her wrist and shook her head just a fraction to the side, signaling the brunette to stop.

"She's hurting right now San, and hearing us talk about 'us' is starting to get to her. She's been so nice to us, so, be nice to her, ok?" Brittany said, trying to keep Santana from walking up to the bathroom, but failing miserably. So instead of staying where she was, she walked to the door with her, hoping to stop them both from tearing each other apart if it came down to that. She'd seen them fight before, and she didn't stop it then, but now that she was a little more confident, she knew she could kick both of their asses.

* * *

><p>"Quinn! Quit hogging the bathroom, I needs to re-pencil my eyebrows on!" Santana yelled, still pounding on the bathroom door. She didn't really need to fix her make-up, she really just wanted to get the blonde to open up to them. "Why doesn't she get it?" Santana was trying to get Britt to loosen up a bit after their little fight, but she didn't get much of a response before the door flew open and Quinn floated out.<p>

"It's all yours." _I see the HBIC is back in the house this evening _Santana thought as Quinn swept passed them.

"Everybody's already in the other room working." She knew Quinn didn't care; she also knew that Quinn was planning to sabotage Nationals in some way, even though she would never let that happen.

"Oh yea, is Mr. Schue in there? Because I think I'm gonna tell him that Rachel and Kurt keep sneaking off." This made Santana choke on her next words, causing her to miss her chance to really tear into Quinn about being a heartless bitch.

"You can't do that, he'll have to suspend them." Brittany said, clearly distressed about the whole situation. San knew that B wanted to win Nationals, and this wasn't a side of Quinn she had seen in almost 6 months.

"And then there goes our chances at nationals, darn." _Ok, the sarcastic bull has GOT to go._

"You know what, we get it. Your pissed about Finn dumping your sweet ass, get over it." This was the first time it had really been discussed amongst the trio of girls; they had all been avoiding the elephant in the room for too long, and Quinn was ready to explode.

"I don't wanna get over it! Ok?" _She looks like she's about to lose it… This could be good for her, I'll press just a little further._

"The only person that you're sabotaging here is yourself." _And here we go…_

"I don't care about some stupid show choir competition!" She was practically in Santana's face at this point, and it took everything in the brunette to not push her away. She knew why Quinn was doing this; she was upset, and it was time for her to talk about it.

"Well you should!" It was then that Santana realized something, "Because this is the one chance that we have to actually feel good about ourselves."

It was true. These three hadn't felt good about themselves in a long time; probably since the day they had taken off their Cheerio uniforms. Cheerleading had been their defining trait; now they were just the dumb blonde, the lesbian bitch, and the Teen Mom. Santana was brought back to the moment when she saw Quinn's face fall, all of the anger melting away, leaving nothing but a beautiful shell of the person who used to be so sure of herself.

"Aren't we supposed to be the popular girls?" Britt and San both laughed a little when she said this. They knew from the day they left Sue's squad that their popularity would go downhill, and fast. It was weird though, because even though Santana wanted to be a Cheerio again, she wouldn't change the experiences she's had in the last 6 months for anything. _Weird, am I happy that I'm a lesbian? Whoa… didn't see that coming. _

"So why can't we have our dreams come true? She has love, Tina has it, even Zizes hooks up."

Santana noticed that Brittany was looking at her feet, and knew that they were both thinking the same thing. They both had someone who loved them more than anything in the world, and here they were, wasting time because of fear. Quinn was so willing to fall in love. She did it with Finn, then with Puck, then with Sam, then with Finn again. Yea, it was high school love, so easy to fall in and out of, but Santana realized that maybe, it was worth it.

* * *

><p>It broke Brittany's heart to see Quinn look like this. The normally so confident and collected Quinn was falling apart right in front of her eyes, and she didn't feel like she could do anything to stop it. She wanted to wipe away the tear that was falling down the hazel eyed girls' face, but Q backed away and sat down on the bed before she could.<p>

Both she and San moved at the same time to sit next to her. It felt good to know that 5 minutes ago Santana had wanted to tear Quinn a new one, and now she was trying to make her feel better.

"I just want somebody to love me." And there it was. The L word. Everyone wanted Love. It didn't matter if it was from a second rate boyfriend who couldn't really give you everything you wanted or if it was from the girl sitting across from you who could give you everything you wanted. She just wanted love, just like the girl's on either side of her.

"I think I know how to make you feel better." Brittany saw the laughter in Quinn's eyes before she could even register what Santana had said.

"I'm flattered Santana, but I'm really not that into that." _Haha oh, got it… Oh Quinnie, you're so funny. _Britt thought as she glanced at Santana. _HA! And look at San's face… priceless._

"No, no I'm not talking about that," Santana stuttered, only causing Britt to smile wider on Quinn's shoulder, "I'm talking about a haircut."

"Yes, totally." This was perfect. It gave them an excuse to skip the song writing session AND gave Quinn a reason to cut off her hair. Fresh hair. Fresh Start. _Yes. Perfect. _

They sat like that for a few minutes, none of them sure if they were ready to leave or not. Brittany didn't want to leave yet, she wanted to sit just like this and enjoy the feeling of her two closest friends next to her. Finally, Santana broke the silence.

"Ok, enough with the serious stuff for one day, let's get your hair did boo!" And that was it. She led the way out of the hotel and to the first salon with an available stylist. It's crazy what your Dr. Dad's credit card and a little 'eat shit' grin can do for you. They were sipping champagne and getting their mani/pedi on before noon while Quinn had her beautiful blonde locks cropped short. Afterwards, Britt had to give it to her; she could pretty much rock any look, including a bob.

They were making their way back to the hotel when they ran into the rest of the glee club outside talking to the coach of Vocal Adrenaline. Santana stopped short, causing the other two to stop as well, and they all caught the tail end of the conversation.

Mr. Schue was leaving.

The group didn't say much as they all made their way to the boys' room. They weren't sure if they should believe the Vocal Adrenaline coach, but then again, it all made sense. Schue had been sneaking off all week to do 'stuff' and they hadn't even gotten together to work on their number for Nationals. Brittany was nervous as she sat down on the floor; she could feel the tension in the room building as if it were a rubber band being stretched beyond its means. It was stretching and stretching until finally, it snapped.

"This is absolute bullshit!" Santana had finally erupted and Brittany could see the look of betrayal in her eyes. Santana didn't trust people easily, and having Mr. Schue just up and leave them after all of their hard work was obviously weighing heavily on the brunette as she continued to ramble. "I mean, how can he just leave us? We worked our asses off for him and this is what he does?"

"San, calm down, we don't know anything yet…" Quinn said, trying to diffuse the Latina before she blew a gasket.

"Hell no I'm not calming down!" She yelled back from across the room, "He better get his ass in here and explain his shit!"

"Let's look at this logically for a moment, shall we?" _Rachel, please, please shut up. _She saw Rachel take a deep breath; a sure sign that she wasn't done. _Of course you aren't going to shut up, what am I thinking? _"If we were in his shoes, don't you think we'd want the same thing? I mean, it's his dream to be on Broadway, who are we to hold him back? He has a chance, we should be happy for him."

She was right, and everyone knew it. They knew that if they were in his position, they would take the opportunity and run with it. Brittany noticed that even Santana seemed to calm down after Rachel's little speech. Everyone was pretty much quiet after that, only a few mumbles about what they were going to do without him next year were brought up.

_Next year… we'll all be seniors. _Brittany thought as she looked around the room at everyone. They would only have one more year together before they all went their own way. It was depressing and she didn't want to think about it, but when she looked up and met the brown eyes across the room, she felt like they were once again on the same wave length.

_I don't want to lose you…_ she thought, hoping her eyes could convey the words she wasn't able to speak out loud. The eyes staring back at her seemed to both understand and also reply…_ me either… _

Their trance was broken when Mr. Schue blew through the door with a stack of pizzas in his arms. Everyone started to fidget, some wanting to start in on him right away while others only seemed to look sadder.

"Alright guys, who's up for some real New York City pizza?" he asked, before noticing the tension in the room.

"We heard." Brittany wasn't sure how this was going to go down, so she just kept quiet, hoping the situation didn't reach a boiling point like it had earlier.

"Heard what?" It looked like he was completely clueless, and when Mercedes mentioned Broadway, his shoulders slumped and Britt felt terrible for him. He said he hadn't made up his mind yet, which gave her a little hope that he was staying, but after Kurt and Rachel gave their blessing for him to continue to do the role, her heart sank a little lower in her chest.

She looked up to see Santana's reaction to the whole situation, but she seemed detached, like she was intentionally trying not to listen to the conversation that was going on around her. Most people don't realize how much Santana relies on being a part of Glee club. She might get mad and go off on people, but she meant what she said last year about how it was the best part of her day. Granted only Brittany knew how deep the ties went, but still, to see her zone out during this very important group meeting bothered the blonde.

Brittany broke her stare from Santana when she heard Mr. Schuester say he wasn't going. Her heart started to soar as he continued his speech. They were going to stay together and for Brittany, that was more important than any competition.

* * *

><p><em>Ugh, I really don't want to hug this man right now, but damn it, I'm too happy not to! <em>Santana thought as she got up to hug Mr. Schue after he told the group he wasn't leaving. The brunette didn't realize how much it was weighing on her until after the weight was lifted.

After the group hug, they all sat back down, notebooks out and pens moving across paper. Santana just stared at the blank page for a long time; she'd written hundreds of songs before, but this was the most important. She knew they needed something big and she knew it had to be perfect.

After about an hour, she noticed Finn tapping his pen on his notebook and looking around the room nervously. She was intrigued, for reasons she couldn't understand, by the way the boy seemed to be thinking very seriously about something. He must have felt her eyes on him because the next moment, they were staring at each other. He seemed to be trying to decide something and after a minute of staring, there was resolution in his eyes. He quirked a brow at the brunette and pointed to his page and mouthed, 'help me sing this?' She couldn't help the smirk that graced her face and nodded immediately, extremely curious about what he had written.

They both got up silently and walked out of the room. She noticed Brittany staring at her and gave her a small smile and leaned down to whisper in her ear, "It's cool, I'm just going to help him with his song." She gave her a quick peck on the cheek and followed Finn out the door and into the girls' room.

He flopped down on the bed and she couldn't help but laugh, because the last time they had been in a hotel room together, alone, had been one of the worst nights of her life. He seemed to understand her laughter and joined in a few seconds later, both silently agreeing that the past was the past and that there was no point in bringing it up now. They both were in love with other people and their sex had been nothing but popularity enhancers for them both.

"Ok Finnocence, let's hear what you got." She sat down next to him, snatching his notebook from his hands before he could protest, and began to read. It was broken up into two, a duet, and she knew immediately after reading the first line who it was for.

"She wrote one about me, so, I figure it's time to repay the favor." He said, trying to hide the blush that was traveling up his face. _I really need to be nicer to people, he's already nervous about the things I could say about that sentence. _Instead of giving him hell about it, she surprised him with a compliment.

"This is really good Finn," his eyebrows shot up questioningly, "Are you wanting to sing it with her? Because I don't think my voice would work for this."

He was obviously dumbfounded by Santana's words, but then his face broke into its wide, goofy grin and he almost tumbled over his words, "Y-y-yea, I want to sing it with her, but I wanted someone else to sing it with me first, see if everyone likes it, then go from there."

"Alright then, let's do this!" Santana said, snatching the notebook back from him and quickly copying down the girls' portion of the duet. They rehearsed it A Capella a few times before going back to the boys' room, where nothing was getting accomplished. She heard Brittany humming 'My Headband' while playing with Quinn's hair, while Rachel wrote furiously in her notebook, only to rip out the page and add another ball of crumpled up paper to a pile beside her.

Quinn and Brittany both looked up when the two reappeared, and that's when it hit Santana; she knew just how much this duet would hurt Quinn. But she also hoped that she would understand and that this could be a turning point for her. That maybe hearing just how much Finn loved Rachel would be enough to help her let him go.

They got the club's attention and both began singing, neither really looking at anyone, just staring at their lines and willing the two people in the audience to understand their feelings behind the words.

When it ended, everyone was just gawking at them. They both became extremely self conscience and both looked at Mr. Schue for some feedback. He seemed dumbstruck. He just sat there with his mouth half open, until finally he said, "Finn, did you write that?"

"Yea, I did. I was hoping we could make it a duet with me and Rachel and then at the end everyone could join in…" He stopped talking when he felt everyone's eyes on him; most looking like they were in complete shock that he had written something so meaningful. Again Mr. Schue saved the day and looked around at the rest of the club before asking, "Ok, so, does anyone object that Finn's song could be our opening number?" When no one objected, Santana couldn't help but lean in and give him a half hug, proud of the boy for manning up and writing a song like that.

She looked over and saw Britt smiling at her and she couldn't help but return a big grin back to the blonde. _If Finn can write a song about Rachel, then damn it I should be able to write one for Britt. _Even though Santana had an entire notebook at home filled with love songs that she had written in the past, this one needed to be different. They had their love song with Finn and Rachel's duet; she needed to write something more powerful. She started thinking about how complicated things were with her and Brittany, and before she knew what she was doing, she was grabbing her notebook and heading for the door, the first few lines of a song coming to mind…

* * *

><p>"Wonder where she's going?" Tina asked after Santana left the room.<p>

"She had her 'thinking hard' look about her, so, she probably just got an idea." Brittany said nonchalantly, trying not to notice the little 'awww, you know her so well!' whisper that came from Quinn who was still sitting next to her.

Brittany gave up trying to write a song because it was always the same and there aren't too many things that rhyme with Santana. So instead, she listened to the ideas of the others, all of them failing miserably to meet the standards that were required for Nationals. It wasn't even a half hour later when Santana came back into the room, grabbed Puck and his guitar, and walked back out.

"Ok, so, should I be worried that she just took my boyfriend to another hotel room?" Lauren asked the group, but before anyone could respond, Brittany was glaring at the girl.

"I promise," Brittany sneered with as much venom in her voice as possible, "if you ever bring up those two's 'relationship' ever again, I might have to kick box your ass out of this 14th story window."

Brittany looked back down at her notebook and continued scrawling her and Santana's name in little hearts, trying very hard to control the rage she felt in her body. She hated thinking about Santana and Puck's old fling; it literally made her skin crawl. She was glad that no one said anything else, because she felt that violent actions would be taken if they did. Plus, deep down, everyone knows that the girl is super strong and super in shape and could probably kick their ass at the drop of a hat.

She glanced over toward Q who had been watching her intently after her little outburst and mouthed 'what?', only to get a shrug and a small smile from her before going back to their song writing. She only drew a couple of more hearts before the door flew open and Santana walked in with a smug smile on her face being quickly followed by Puckerman who also seemed to be sporting a triumphant grin. Seeing those smiles sent a quick wave of nausea through Brittany until she realized that it was a song, not sex, that had the two excited.

"Alright guys, so, I just wrote this, so take it easy on me." Brittany could tell that Santana was nervous because she was twisting her hands and fingers together and not making eye contact with her. "Puck's going to play a small guitar part, because it's kind of fast and I don't think it would sound good without music. I only have the first verse and the chorus so if you guys like it we'll have to finish it, but it could be a good starting off point. Alright, I'm rambling, let's just start."

She turned toward Puck and he started strumming his guitar, a fast beat coming from the instrument as Santana stared at the floor. She glanced up quickly and met Brittany's eye, and before the blonde could think of anything else, she started to sing…

_..Hey hey hey,  
>..You and me, keep on dancin' in the dark…<br>..It's been tearin me apart,  
>..Never knowin what we are…<em>

_..Hey hey hey,  
>..You and me, keep on tryin to play it cool…<br>..Now it's time to make a move,  
>..And that's what I'm gonna do…<em>

Brittany couldn't believe what she was hearing. Her mind had stopped working and she just stared at the girl in front of her, completely oblivious to the rest of the glee club. They never broke eye contact as the song continued, Puck and Santana both singing a part…

_..Lay it all down,  
>..Got something to say…<br>..Lay it all down,  
>..Throw your doubt away…<br>..Do or die now,  
>..Step up on to the plate…<em>

_..Blow the door wide open like up up and away…_

_..Let's light up the world tonight…  
>..You gotta give up the bark and bite…<br>..I know that we got the love alright…  
>..Come on, and light light light it up,light it up tonight..<em>

Brittany could feel the electricity flowing between them, but it also felt like the rest of the club was picking up their spark. The energy of the club was growing as the group realized how good this song could be and as Santana began to sing the chorus again, a few others joined in…

_..Let's light up the world tonight…  
>..You gotta give up the bark and bite…<br>..I know that we got the love alright….  
>..Come on and light light light it up,light it up tonight..<em>

Santana stopped singing and was immediately greeted with the sweet sound of applause. Mr. Schue was blown away and told the group to immediately start thinking of another verse and a bridge to finish the song. Everyone was grabbing at Santana's notebook and began scrawling down her words and then starting to write their own. Everyone was moving except for Brittany. She just stared at Santana who gave her a shy smile and a small wink before continuing to write their closing number for Nationals.

* * *

><p><em>How could this happen?<em> Santana was dumbstruck, standing in between her two best blonde friends, staring at Mr. Schue's back after he announced that they didn't make the top ten. _How could we work so hard and get this far, just to fail? _ She couldn't take anymore of this. She couldn't stand here and watch Rachel cry, or see the look of disappointment on Britt and Quinn's faces, and she most definitely wasn't going to keep looking at Jesse's 'I told you so' grin. So she did was she did best, she ran.

She was halfway to the hotel when a pair of strong arms wrapped around her elbows from behind and turned her around. She was halfway to tears as those arms pulled her into a hug so tight that she could barely breath. And she was halfway in a fit of rage by the time they reached the door of their hotel room.

Santana was fuming, but she couldn't quite put a finger on why she was so mad. Sure, they had lost, but it wasn't the end of the world. Sure her parents had missed the performance, but she had known that for days. And yea, her and Brittany still weren't on the best of terms and… there it was. _Shit. Damn it. I thought I could get through the day without thinking about her and 'us' and all this shit! I just need a day where I don't have to think about all this!_ She was screaming in her head until she heard the blonde in question say her name.

"San, you gotta calm down." Brittany was there, and so was Quinn, while Santana paced around the room, biting on her knuckles to keep from screaming or crying, she wasn't sure which.

"I can't calm down, B! I'm fucking pissed!" She lashed out, but neither blonde flinched, both so used to their best friends emotional outbursts. "Seriously, how can you two be so fucking calm about this! We just lost! We put in all this work, all this time; we were up till 3a.m. working on choreography, we got like 4 hours of sleep, and you guys just sit there like it's ok! We LOST!"

Quinn knew that she just needed to give Santana time to vent, so she just laid back on the bed and waited her tantrum out. Brittany seemed a bit more uneasy, but maybe that was because she had a little bit better knowledge of Santana's moods, and this wasn't just upset Santana, this was also angry Santana, and when they combined, she knew she was in for a long night.

"I know we lost, duh, but, Santana, those other teams were really _really_ good…" Brittany stood up and stepped in the Latina's path, effectively ending the girls' pacing. "We have another year, we'll get it next time babe." She had her hands on Santana's shoulders and she felt the brunette stiffen at the term of endearment.

"I thought you didn't want the word 'babe' to be thrown around with us, _Brittany." _ The brunette snarled, venom dripping when she said the blonde's full name. She was still upset about their earlier confrontation, something neither girl had addressed since it happened. "So for one, let go of me. And two, leave me the hell alone!"

She didn't want to see the hurt in Brittany's eyes as she yanked away, so instead she looked at Quinn, who was propped up on her elbows on the bed, quirking an eyebrow at Santana, obviously telling her to chill out.

She couldn't take anymore; she couldn't take Quinn's looks or Brittany's words, she thought she was going to explode. Needing some air, and maybe a cigarette, Santana headed toward the door, but before she could make her escape, it swung open and the rest of the team came flooding in, all very aware of the tension that was rolling off of Santana in waves. It was only after they were all cramped into the room did Santana really snap.

She didn't even realize she was screaming at Rachel until she felt arms grabbing her and holding her back. She could feel the Spanish rolling off her tongue but she couldn't even remember what she was saying after she said it. She just continued the insults, noticing Berry shrinking further and further into herself, trying to get away from Santana; which only made her yell more.

She heard Quinn yell at Brittany to stop her, but Brittany just shook her head, knowing that there was no stopping this and that it just needed to run its course. Finally, after almost a full ten minutes of Santana being restrained, she was finally deposited on the bed and told to 'keep her ass there' by Lauren. San knew she couldn't take on Lauren because the last time she had tried, she ended up being flung across a hallway. So instead, she just sat there, listening to the group talk and cry about how another year of Glee was over.

She looked up and noticed that Brittany was sitting on the opposite bed, just staring at her with a mixture of pain and questions in her eyes. Santana didn't forget what she had said to Britt and she knew they needed to talk about it, so very slowly she stood up and started to make her way toward the door.

"Santana, where are you going?" _Seriously not the time to be concerned for me Mr. Schue! _She thought, but decided she should answer.

"Where I was going before you guys all got here. I just need some air, I'll be right outside." And she left, but before she was even a few steps down the hall, she felt someone walking at her side. She knew it was Britt without looking. _Jesus I'm so ridiculous; I can tell it's her because of the way she smells… her breathing… her body heat… _

The two didn't say anything, both getting on the elevator without making eye contact and then exiting the hotel without speaking about where they were going. It was still light outside and Santana's body made the unconscious decision to go to Central Park. It's a good 15 block walk; which was a good thing. Both girls needed time to think and sort out their thoughts before the inevitable conversation they would be having.

They entered Central Park and made their way to The Mall; tree lined and full of benches, perfect for them to just sit and talk. Neither said much as they took their seats, because this felt more proper than all of their other talks; it felt more serious than any other before.

* * *

><p>Brittany couldn't help but notice that Santana's breathing had become even more erratic since they sat down, so she decided to break the tension.<p>

"Sooo, I hope it's ok that I followed you." She said, clearly nervous since Santana had yet to say anything. "But, since you didn't tell me to leave you alone I thought that maybe it was ok but if it's not I understand and I-"

"Britt, please quit talking." The brunette didn't say it in a mean way, just in a 'it's ok, stop rambling' type of way. So they both just sat, watching people waltz around the park without a care in the world while they tried to keep their thoughts from spewing from their mouths.

Brittany was thinking about a lot of things. She was thinking about losing Nationals, about Santana's outburst toward her in the room before the group came in, and about the summer that was converging on them so quickly.

Santana was thinking about totally different things. She was thinking about the way Brittany's perfume made her head feel dizzy, but in a good way. And the way the blonde inched closer to her while they were sitting on the bench, moving until their thighs were touching. Or the way the sun was shining just above the sky scrapers of New York and peaking through the trees to dance on the blonde's hair.

Brittany felt Santana turn toward her and knew that they both had a lot to say, but Brittany felt like she needed to go first; just in case Santana's thoughts were in parallel to hers.

"Ok, I need to go first because there's something I've been keeping from you but it's getting too close for me to hide it anymore." Brittany spoke fast and Santana's eyes widened a bit at the statement; _she looks like I'm about to tell her I'm getting back with Artie or something! _

"Santana. Breathe." She said, watching as the brunette took a deep breath, holding it for a moment, before letting it out. When Britt was sure that Santana was done freaking out, she told her about her summer plans.

"So, you know how I said I had a plan for us after graduation? That I was working on it so there was no need to worry?" She watched as Santana nodded, a small flash of something the blonde couldn't identify crossing through brown eyes before they cleared up again. "Well, that plan involves me doing a lot of auditions; most of which are happening this summer. Well, not most, all of them are happening this summer. And, like, my family vacation is happening in there too, so my mom decided we would just do a cross-country road trip to all of the auditions, so.." she took a deep breath, because she didn't want Santana to be mad at her, "I'm going to be gone from the end of May all the way till the end of July."

She paused, nervous to hear what Santana would say after realizing she would be gone basically the whole summer. But, before she could analyze too much into it, she heard the brunette snort and made eye contact with her for the first time since they'd sat down.

"Britt, you looked like you were about to tell me you were going to get back with Artie or something! Jesus, don't do that shit to me!" Santana was laughing; _why is she laughing! _Britt thought, almost getting angry that she had been freaking out about this for months, _I thought she was gonna be pissed! _

"Wait, so, you're not mad at me for being gone all summer?" Brittany asked, still skeptical that the brunette had grasped the seriousness of being away from her best friend for two whole months.

* * *

><p>Santana wasn't mad, but she was panicking a little bit in the back of her mind. She'd never gone more than a week without the blonde, and even then, they were still seeing each other. But she understood why this was happening;<p>

"No I'm not mad B, I mean, yea it sucks; I gotta go my whole summer without you, but, that's ok, because you're doing it for us, right?" And there it was, the word 'us'; meaning the both of them, together, a combined unit of two people becoming one thing. The elephant in the room that started small, but had been feeding off of both girls' anxiety until it became so big, was finally busting its way out into the wide open spaces of Central Park.

Santana could see Brittany's entire body language change when she said it. She could see her shoulders relax and a spark, almost like a blue flame, burn behind her eyes. She knew that Britt wanted an 'us' so bad that it was literally weighing her down, and Santana even felt lighter now that it was being discussed as an actual possibility; not something that was being hidden behind closed doors.

"Yea San…" Brittany said, but Santana could tell she had more to say, so she waited until the blonde got her thoughts together. She could tell whatever Britt was about to say was important and that she wanted to say it right, so she was rehearsing it all in her mind before letting the words tumble from her mouth; probably not as gracefully as she would have liked, but she said it none the less.

"I have auditions in California and in Ohio but the ones I want the most are here in New York because I know that's where you'll be after we graduate. And I hope you don't think I'm pathetic but I just want to be wherever you are because I've never been away from you and I don't care about how people say 'distance makes the heart grow fonder' because that's bullshit and I'm already so fond of you and I don't think my heart could take anymore fondness."

She took a deep breath before plowing on, a smile starting to form on Santana's lips. And somewhere during the blonde's speech, both of their hands became entwined.

"And I don't care if this makes you squirmy because you hate emotional stuff but I can't picture a day where I could never want you and I know we're just kids but, oh jeez I'm quoting Finn here, but we have like, epic love. Like, soul mate, Romeo and Juliet, meant to be together type of love Santana. And even if we aren't together right now I know all of that and I need to know that you feel like that too and I don't want to wake up next to anyone but you for the rest of my life… and…" she was struggling to find a resounding finish to her speech so she settled for, " yea.. .whew.. that was a lot but I had to tell you."

Santana wasn't sure what she was feeling because every single nerve in her body was going haywire. She just sat there, literally gawking at the blonde in front of her, because _finally_ someone said the words she had wanted to say for months. Soul mates. Epic Love. Those words described the feeling she has felt since she was a little kid, feelings she tried to cover up, and now feelings she was freely letting flow from her body.

She leaned forward without saying anything, noticing the small amount of doubt that had crept into Brittany's eyes while waiting for Santana to say something, and put their foreheads together.

"Britt… You took the words right out of my mouth." And she kissed her. She kissed her and kissed her and kissed her until neither girl could remember to breathe; and when they finally did, they were both gasping for air.

They sat there, foreheads still together and eyes locked on each other, for what felt like hours, both trying to absorb the fact that they were now staring at the one certain thing that would be in their lives forever. It was a heady feeling to know that at 17 years old, they wouldn't have to go looking for love anymore, it was right in front of them, and it had been since they were 6 years old.

* * *

><p>Brittany didn't want to break the trance, but it was getting dark and they needed to leave Central Park before things got weird. She had seen enough Law and Order SVU episodes to know that crazy things happened in that park once the sun went down. She abruptly stood up and grabbed Santana's hand, leading her back toward the way they had come, neither girl doing much talking as they hit the first few blocks of their walk back to the hotel.<p>

After Britt's speech, Santana hadn't said much and the blonde couldn't help but wonder where this left them. Because, to her, it felt like they were together, like officially, but she knew that when it came to her best friend, things were never as they seemed. But before she could ask, Santana beat her to the punch.

"This doesn't change anything Britt, not yet." Santana said, and Brittany couldn't help but jut out her bottom lip a little at the sudden change of direction. _Always one step forward and two steps back.._She thought as Santana continued.

"But, I'm glad it's all out there, every single bit of it. But, for now, can I have my best friend back? Because, I've missed her, like a lot. And I need her to be next to me every single second of the day and night because I'm not going to see her all summer and we have to make up for lost time until then."

Santana was smiling a bit as she said this, and Brittany knew why they needed to do this first. They needed to get back to being 'them' before they could be the 'us', and for the first time, she was ok with that. And even though neither girl had mentioned when the 'best friends with benefits' would turn into 'girlfriends', it was ok, because for tonight, walking down the street clutching the hand of the girl she loved, Brittany knew that their time would come and for the first time, she was ok with waiting.

* * *

><p><strong>For one, sorry it took so long. I've had a rough couple of weeks and getting this done was like the very bottom of my list. But, chapter 18 is already half way there, so it won't be long till it's ready to go. I think I only have 2 chapters left, 18 and 19. Then we'll be on hiatus until the season starts again, but I have a couple of short stories, one of which I'm about to put up, for your reading pleasure until then!<strong>

**Ok, about the chapter. I just needed them to be friends again. They needed to get back to being Best Friends before I could go further. So that's what this was all about. Them getting back to being them!**

**xoxo-Kat**

**oh, and I'm like 11 reviews from 100, so, let's make my really shitty week a better one and hit that 100 mark! pweeeze... I'll love you long time! **


	18. Chapter 18, Come and Save Me

**I'm drunk and I have internet, for the first time in almost 2 weeks, so I'm posting this now. It's 3a.m., so I have no idea what it sounds like or if it's really proof read, but I don't care, i just want to get this up. So here it is! Oh, and 100 reviews! You guys seriously rock! And no, I'm not above begging for reviews. Call me pathetic, but they brighten my day, so yes, I'll beg for reviews and be on that shit like a hobo on a ham sandwich! Anywho, enjoy! This is one of my favorites, to be honest. It's a little plain, more stripped down, but I like it that way sometimes! **

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><p><strong>Chapter 18<br>Come and Save me**

They flew back to Ohio the following morning. No one said much as they arrived at McKinley on Friday afternoon; packing their bags into their cars and realizing it was back to reality. Back to Lima, back to school on Monday, back to their normal lives after having such an amazing week at Nationals. But no one in the glee club felt the 'back to reality' slap as hard as Brittany and Santana.

They had had the freedom to be themselves while they were away and now it felt almost wrong to be going back to how things were before they left. There was a new level to their relationship that they had discovered while they were gone and now it left them in a state of limbo trying to decide how to continue.

Their weekend was full of little moments where they'd find themselves touching each other, just in little ways without realizing it, and then jumping apart when one of their parents would enter the room or one of their phones would ring. It was almost as if their bodies were not willing to totally go back and hide in the closet after it was able to run free for five days. The sexual tension was hanging over them for their entire weekend, and since they had promised to be around each other as much as possible, it just continued to build and build.

Santana was having a very hard to time being around the blonde without letting her eyes rake across the dancer's body. _I mean, her body is just… damn. Damn damn damn! _She thought as Brittany peeled off her sweaty tank top after they both went for a run and was now just standing in her bra and running shorts in her bedroom. Santana swallowed hard as Britt leaned over her desk chair to check her Facebook and she had to divert her gaze very quickly when the blonde spun around, feeling the brunette's eyes on her.

Brittany wasn't oblivious to what she was doing and she loved to watch Santana pant after her like a little puppy for a change. Usually people said that about her, so it was nice to see that she had the same effect on San that the Latina had on her. But, she knew the limits to the newly re-established 'them' that they had figured out in New York. Both decided they wouldn't sleep together until they were officially together, which seemed to be a hard deal to keep considering it was only day 2 of being back in Lima and they were struggling to keep their hands to themselves.

_But no one ever said we couldn't get our sweet lady kisses on… _

This was B's last thought before she ran over to the bed and playfully bounced on it, causing Santana to roll onto her back to stare up at the blonde who was still standing above her. They both just stared at each other, something that was happening a lot the last couple of days, and a small smile appeared on both girls' lips. It was as if the last two months hadn't happened and that they were right where they needed to be.

"Come here…" Santana said softly, holding out her arms and offering her chest as a pillow for the blonde. Brittany sank down next to Santana and felt the brunette's arms wrap around her, both sighing as their skin made contact with one another's when bare legs tangled together. They ended up lying there the rest of the afternoon, dozing off occasionally only to wake up still wrapped around one another.

* * *

><p>There was only two weeks left of school when they arrived back from New York. The second to last week was always the same; teachers cramming everything they could into the young minds before them and hoping that they had learned something before their finals the following week. The students were starting to space out, dreaming of summer vacations, parties, and just being away from McKinley for a few months.<p>

Santana was still on a high after the chat in Central Park and she couldn't help but feel optimistic that the next few weeks before Brittany left were going to be the best of her life. They were on a more even ground with one another and the fact that they had thoroughly discussed the fact that they never wanted to be without each other left the Latina in a content state of happiness.

She was still very upset about losing Nationals, but she knew that in the grand scheme of things, life could be worse. She did end up making a voodoo doll that looked like Rachel because, c'mon, she's Santana Lopez. It was hilarious; a little brunette doll with a skirt and sweater, with a few needles sticking out from its limbs. She hoped that the resemblance between it and Berry would cause the Diva to feel some quick jabs, because even though she was happy with some portions of her life, she still couldn't help but blame Man hands and her ogre boyfriend for them losing on the Grand Show Choir Stage.

Because finals were the next week, Mr. Schue decided that their last meeting would take place the week before exam time. Santana was grateful that the man seemed ok with placing 12th in the Nation and she couldn't help but feel a small hurt in her chest knowing that glee was over for another year. They had spent so much time and effort into making this club one that could be worth something, and knowing that they had just one more year together made her heart hurt.

She was leaning against her locker, just thinking and playing with the Berry Voodoo doll when Brittany found her. She was expecting the blonde so it wasn't much of a surprise when she saw her heading her way, but seeing the dancer walking toward her in that graceful and sexy way that she did sent the brunette's heart thrumming.

_Nom nom nom… I really don't know why I'm so scared about all this when I know that's what's waiting for me… Jesus…_

Brittany was sauntering toward her, obviously enjoying the looks she was getting from Santana until the brunette turned back around to play in her locker, trying to act nonchalant after practically undressing the blonde with her eyes.

"Hey, you still pissed?" Brittany asked, causing Santana to turn toward her. _Totally forgot to show her this! _The brunette thought as she held the doll up.

"Do you think this voodoo doll looks enough like Rachel Berry to actually work?" _bahaha so funny… _

She saw Brittany scrunch her eyebrows together and didn't think there was anything more adorable then a semi-confused Britt. "Come on, you can't be mad at Rachel for forever." The blonde said, and against her better judgment, Santana scoffed a little, kind of put out that the blonde wasn't at least a little pissed about losing. Even after it had been announced, and after Santana had freaked out, Britt had stayed relatively calm.

"Uh yes, we can." Santana said, using the plural because she wanted Britt to at least show that she cared a little about losing. "How could you possibly be so calm?"

She really wanted to know because she needed to learn Britt's secret, or one day her ass would probably end up in jail for assault or something.

"Well, this year wasn't really about winning for me." She heard the blonde say, and even though she was really trying to keep the bitch in her head muzzled, it still slipped off sometimes.

* * *

><p>"Clearly, cause we got our asses kicked." Brittany wasn't sure why Santana was still so mad about losing Nationals, but the tone was a little too harsh for the blonde's liking. So instead of giving-in to the shitty comment, she just rolled her eyes and gave a simple 'yea…' for an answer.<p>

She could feel Santana's eyes on her after the Latina realized the comment got to her a bit, and Britt was taken off guard a little to hear the apology. It wasn't that Santana needed to apologize, because Britt knew that the anger wasn't directed at her, but it was nice to see this little change in the brunette. The fact that a year ago it was like pulling teeth to get San to even recognize that she had said something rude, and now, here she was, openly apologizing for a small remark that normally she would have ignored.

_Baby steps.._ Britt thought, a small smile playing on her lips, _baby steps… _

She was glad that Santana had finally asked why winning wasn't important, because Brittany had prepared a speech for this moment, and she felt it was just as important for Santana to hear as it was for her to say.

"Acceptance." And there it was. The one word that Santana needed to hear, because Britt knew that one way or another, the brunette needed to realize that everyone in the club would accept them, and that the time was coming for her to see that. "I know that all the kids in the glee club, they fight and they steal each other's boyfriends and girlfriends, and they threaten to quit like every other week but, stuff like that happens in families."

She had to laugh about the stealing boyfriends AND girlfriends part, because let's be honest, Santana had practically broken up and gotten together with just about everyone who had a significant other in glee club.

"Yea well this is a club, this is not a family." She knew San was lying, because let's be real, this was the closest thing to family that the brunette had ever had. Sure, she had Cheerios for a little while, but when it came right down to it, the glee club had been the one place she could go and be herself, even if she was still hiding little bits and pieces from them. Everyone there accepted her for what she was; a bitch, a liar, a schemer, a lover, a fighter, an awesome dancer, and an even more amazing singer. They accepted her flaws but they also loved her for them, and even if Santana never admitted it, she loved them right back.

"Ok well, family is a place where everyone loves you no matter what. And they accept you for who you are." Brittany was trying to make a point, and she was hoping that Santana was catching on. "I know I'm gonna be a bridesmaid at Mike and Tina's wedding. And I'm gonna be anxiously waiting just like everybody else to see if their babies are Asian too."

_There's that smile I love… _

"When they find an operation to make Artie's legs work again, I'm gonna be there for his first steps. I love them. I love everyone in glee club. And I get to spend another year with everyone I love, so, I'm good."

It was true, she was good. She got to spend time with her best friends and the love of her life on a daily basis; and life doesn't get much better than that.

"What about you and I?"

It wasn't until then that she took in the appearance of the girl in front of her for the first time after her little speech. Santana seemed so unsure, so small, and extremely reluctant for an answer. It was like their talk in Central Park didn't even exist, and for a second, Britt was worried she dreamt up the whole thing. But after a second, she realized that it didn't matter if it was a dream or not; she knew how she felt about Santana and nothing in the world could change that.

"I love you, Santana." She visibly saw her best friend relax, and it made her more confident to continue.

_But why oh why do we always have to have these types of conversations in the damn hallway! _She thought before continuing,

"I love you more than I've ever loved anyone else in this world. All I know about you and I is that because of that, I think anything's possible."

And it was true. She loved that girl more than her own life and anything with them, together, was possible. They could take on the world, and as long as Santana was by her side, she knew that they would win.

* * *

><p>Santana couldn't help but smile and laugh a little at the blonde's speech. She felt a weight lift off her shoulders that she didn't know she was carrying around. After the talk in New York, she was nervous that Brittany was going to try and pressure her into coming out, but here she was, just letting Santana go at her own pace and figure things out on her own time. And knowing that she would always have that type of support from Brittany made her chest constrict in an unfamiliar, but not altogether uncomfortable, sort of way.<p>

She refused to let the sob that was building in her chest come up, so instead she leaned in and gave B the tightest hug she could muster while letting out a huge sigh of relief.

"You're my best friend." She didn't know what else to say in that moment. There were a lot of things that could have spilled out from her mouth; _lover, soul mate, the peanut butter to my jelly…Ugh, Q's right, I'm such a sap… _But she settled on the 'hall-way friendly' version.

"Yea, me too." And that was that. They were the two best friends in the entire world and she couldn't stop the tears from building up in her eyes before she pulled away, taking a deep breath and pushing the tears back. She could tell that Britt had seen her tears and the blonde was working hard on keeping her own at bay.

Santana let out a small laugh at the hilariousness of it all. _Two months ago we were crying because we were fighting all the time, now we're crying because we're so in love we don't know what to do with ourselves… seriously, we are pathetic… _

And with that thought, she raised her pinky in front of the blonde, a move that was so practiced, Brittany didn't even have to look when she linked her little finger around Santana's.

"When did you get so smart?" Santana asked as they walked from their lockers and headed towards the choir room.

"Hey now, I've always been smart!" the blonde replied while reaching over and playfully slapping Santana on the arm.

"This is true…" Santana said, letting her eyes wander out over the hallway that in a week would be vacant of students. She thought about how in a year from now, she and her best friend would be preparing to graduate and, if fate was on their side, they'd be moving to New York together the following fall. All of the thoughts of the future also made her reminisce about the previous year.

She thought about how this year had been such a rollercoaster ride for the two of them. About how she felt so bad about herself last summer that she ran off and got a boob job just to make her feel better. She thought about the time she sang Brittany to sleep after she had nightmares and about all the other times that the blonde hadn't heard her sing to her. She thought about the duets competition and how long it had been since that day in Brittany's bedroom and how all of this could have been avoided if she would have just came clean then.

_If I would have told her I loved her then, I don't think it would have worked…_ She mused, clearly deep in thought as she almost ran into a group of people she hadn't even seen coming toward her. _I'm glad we took the long way…_

"What cha thinkin' bout?" She heard Brittany ask as the blonde once again steered her out of harm's way. "Earth to Santana. Hey!" She snapped her fingers in the brunette's face, where a smile appeared and a hint of a blush crept onto tan checks.

"Sorry…" Santana said as she was lead into the choir room. She could tell Britt was waiting on an explanation and as they took their seats, she realized they were the only one in the room, still early for their last meeting. She took advantage of the alone time and leaned over and nuzzled into the blonde's neck before resting her lips on the blonde's ear, "I was just thinking about how awesome our life is going to be together…"

She smiled when she saw the devastatingly beautiful mega-watt smile that appeared on Britt's face and she couldn't help herself when she leaned in and captured her lips in a quick, but still mind numbing kiss.

"Get a room." She heard Quinn say, and they broke apart, foreheads resting together and both glancing toward the door where Quinn was leaning in the doorway, a big smile on her face. She skipped into the room and threw herself into Santana's lap, draping her arms around her neck and planting a wet kiss on her cheek. She laughed at the face of mock-horror that Brittany had slapped on and immediately jumped into her lap and planted a kiss on her as well.

The girls didn't say much, just mumbling about how happy they were that school was over soon and that summer was coming. Brittany told Quinn about her summer auditions and made her promise to take care of Santana while she was gone. San had rolled her eyes at that, but couldn't help the small smile that formed on her face when Quinn crossed her heart and promised to take care of 'her girl'. They sat there for a long time before anyone else got to the meeting; just three best friends who had finally reunited after one of the craziest, saddest, scariest, and happiest years of their lives.

* * *

><p>The next two and a half weeks went by in fast forward; it was almost too fast for the girls. They spent their days lounging by the pool, two bronze goddesses in big sunglasses just enjoying the company of the other and the hot summer sun on their skin. Their nights were spent at the dance studio; Santana seated on a mat against the wall while Brittany and Mike worked their asses off on new choreography for their auditions. Occasionally Tina would stop in to sit and watch, and after almost three weeks of Santana being a constant in the studio, Tina finally cornered her.<p>

"So," She paused when she took in the stiff set of the other brunette's shoulders, "what are you going to do all summer since Britt will be gone?"

This wasn't going to be her actual question, but she figured she'd ease into the subject. Santana on the other hand wasn't as oblivious as to what Tina had really wanted to ask.

"You can ask me Co-Chang, I won't get mad." Santana said as an aside, eyes still glued on Brittany as she danced across the room, practicing harder than San had ever seen her practice. The brunette wasn't sure where this bravery came from, but some little portion of her wanted _someone_ to know about her, about them, and since Tina had witnessed several small moments between the two girls, she figured this was as good of a time as any.

She noticed that Tina had a small twist in the set of her mouth, obviously trying to come up with the right way to phrase the question, but came up blank, so she just asked.

"Are you two dating? Like are you together? Like a couple?" She took a deep breath and pressed on, "Because if you are I think it's totally cool plus you guys are like super hot together so it's not a big deal! I just want to know because I saw you guys holding hands in the car a couple times and that night on Fondue for Two-"

"You talks ways too much." Santana said, her ghetto voice seeping through, but still offering a smile to the girl next to her. She was thinking over everything that Tina had asked, _dating… together… a couple…_ none of the words seemed to fit them just right, but instead of giving Tina the Shakespeare version of how she felt, she gave her a much simpler answer,

"And to answer your question, no, we're not… yet." She turned and couldn't help but give Tina a toothy grin, a lightness fluttering in her chest that someone _finally _knew about her and B, and she noticed that Tina too had a big smile in place. They sat there grinning like complete idiots at each other for a few more seconds before they looked up to see both of their significant others looking at them with a hint of confusion on their faces.

"Tina?" Mike asked, still trying to figure out why these two were even speaking to each other, let alone seeming to be having a friendly conversation. It's not that Mike disliked Santana, honestly he didn't know her all that well; all he knew was what Brittany shared or what he heard through gossip at school. And his girlfriend and the fiery brunette hadn't seen eye to eye very much this year, so he was extremely interested as to what was being said.

Brittany just stood staring at Santana, almost trying to read her mind and understand the smirk that was now gracing the face that she loved. Tina stuttered a little, not sure if it was ok to share this new information with Mike, and when she didn't continue, Santana decided to elaborate.

"I was just telling Tina about how Britt and I are trying to work things out between us so we can start dating... no big deal." And she went back to picking at her nails, trying to keep the smile off her face before glancing back up at Mike and Brittany. She didn't even notice Mike's reaction, because at that moment Brittany was racing toward her, tackling her into the tumbling mats and squealing in the brunette's ear.

"I love you! I love you! I love you!" Brittany cooed, planting kisses all over Santana's face and neck while straddling the brunette's body.

"Damn B," She said softly, pulling back a little to look into those luscious blue eyes, "If that's what I get for telling a couple of our friends that we're just _trying _to work things out, we need to start having more get-togethers before you leave!"

Santana was nervous because she had told Tina that they were 'working on them' when it wasn't something that they had actually talked about; that is, they hadn't decided that they would tell people yet. Sure, they had mentioned the fact that they loved each other and how they wanted to spend forever together, but actually telling people that she wanted Britt as more than just a friend wasn't something they had discussed, and she wasn't sure if she had over stepped the boundaries by telling Tina they were working on it.

Santana was still staring up at Brittany while thinking about this; B's hands on either side of her face, hovering just inches above the brunette's body. _Does she intentionally try to make it hard to breathe or is it just something about her? _Santana thought as her body's most basic functions, like breathing, were failing her.

She leaned up a little and captured the blonde's lips with her own before finally asking, "Was that ok?" She could see the confusion on B's face so she continued, "Is it ok that I told, because I know it's not something we've actually talked about, but, I don't know, I feel like it's time I got over myself and start accepting that I'm stupidly in love with you."

Her heart was hammering in her chest and she was certain the blonde could feel it, but Brittany said nothing; she just stared at Santana for a long moment before leaning down and whispering in her ear, "It took you long enough."

Santana had to laugh a little when Britt pulled back and broke into a wide smile. Her blonde hair was creating a curtain between them and the outside world, and Santana hadn't felt more safe or at peace in her entire life than she did at that moment. The blonde leaned down and gave her an Eskimo kiss before pulling back and saying it one more time, "I love you… With like, every single bit of my heart."

They both stared at each other for another moment before Britt got up and told her that she needed to get back to work. Santana had to agree and she watched as Brittany walked back over to the stereo and flipped on their music so they could continue practicing.

The brunette looked up to see the other couple in the room still staring at them, and she couldn't help but feel a little self-conscious. I mean, they did just see Britt and her kissing, so obviously things were moving along quite well. But, she didn't want this to be the way people found out about them, through gossip, so the muzzle for her inner bitch came off and a sneer graced her flawless face before she glanced at both of them, "Oh, and p.s., if you tell anyone about this, regardless of how happy it would make Britt, I'll literally slit every single one of your tires."

The couple just nodded dumbly before Mike began dancing with Britt again and Tina slid back down the wall next to Santana. They sat there for the rest of the evening, both basking in the absolute adorableness of their own favorite person in the world.

* * *

><p><em>Dear Diary,<br>Holy freaking shit she finally did it! We are finally out to SOMEONE! Seriously, I can't believe that for one, she just freaking said it to Mike and Tina without even batting an eyelash! And two, she actually seemed super calm about the whole thing! Granted, she doesn't want a bunch of people to know, but she still told them and oh my god, I still can't believe it! My mom was so right about how she would figure it out! Why don't we listen to our mothers? Seriously, they're geniuses! I can't even sleep-_

Brittany quit writing when she heard Santana stir beside her. They were both lying in the blonde's bed, something that had become a more frequent occurrence as of late since Santana's mom and dad had decided to do a summer stint in Africa to treat babies for diseases. It's not like either girl could hold it against the Lopez adults, I mean, they were helping sick babies, but still, it wasn't the best summer to be leaving their daughter at home.

Brittany was writing by the light of her phone, hoping not to wake the sleeping girl at her side, who seemed to be thoroughly exhausted from all the hard-core time she had been putting in at the pool. Brittany couldn't help but grin a little when Santana rolled toward her and threw an arm over her waist, something that had also become an all the time thing when they slept. She heard San let out a small sigh and decided it was time to sleep; her diary could wait until later.

She flipped over in the Latina's arms gracefully, not even causing the bed to dip or disturbing her version of Sleeping Beauty. When she was on her back, Santana pulled herself right on top of B's chest, murmuring something in Spanish before drifting into a deeper sleep.

Brittany laid there for a long time, running long fingers through brown hair and contemplating how the rest of their summer would go. She was leaving in the morning to start the long two months of cross country driving and auditioning. They were starting the trip with the long drive to California, passing through several states on the way to visit family.

Her parents insisted that since this was her last summer of high school, they needed to go big. So they were driving to Kansas City to stay for few days with her aunt and uncle before going to Colorado to see her grandparents. They were planning on staying there for a week before stopping in Vegas, because Brittany begged, then heading to California. That's where they'd start the auditioning portion of their trip. She had UCLA and the University of San Diego first, to be followed by a drive to the University of Iowa. They'd then dip down to the University of Kansas before heading north to a couple of private school auditions in Indianapolis and Chicago. From there they would make the trek to New York City, where she had the most riding on her ability to dance.

She told her mom that they needed to have several days of down time before the New York auditions so she could relax, thus pushing her arriving back in Lima back a few days, but she figured what's a few more days. She had Julliard first, which she was grateful for because it was the one she was the most nervous about. But, she wasn't sure if she really wanted to attend school there because it was so much pressure, and she for one didn't want her experience in New York to be tarnished by long hours and even crazier instructors. She would then audition for NYU, two smaller private schools, and an agent before rounding out the trip at a couple of schools in Ohio.

Britt was nervous about all of it, but she knew why she was doing this. She knew the reason, because it was sleeping in her arms, and she knew that if it came down to it, she would choose New York over any other place in the world. Her mother had asked what would happen if she didn't get into any schools in New York, but for some reason, there was no answering required. Brittany just stared at her mom for a second before the elder blonde sighed and realized that if that happened, they'd cross that bridge when they got there. Marcia knew that the two girls were a package deal and they would take whatever hand fate dealt them.

"You shouldn't think so hard; it's late, go to your sleepy place Britt." Brittany had been so deep in thought she didn't even notice when Santana's breathing had changed and the brunette had woken up.

"I'm just trying to get my head together for the next couple months…" she responded, trying hard to keep the worry out of her voice when she thought about being away from her best friend for such a long time. "I mean, I know we can talk all the time, and face time on our phones and stuff, but, I won't be able to smell you," she dipped her nose into brown locks and inhaled the scent that was so distinctly Santana, "or touch you," and she ran her finger tips across high cheekbones, "Or kiss you…" and she leaned down to kiss the lips that were already waiting for her. "It just won't be the same…"

* * *

><p>Santana didn't know how to feel. She honestly just wanted to cry, but it wasn't because she was sad, it was because she was so happy. Never in her life had she felt needed. Most of the time, she just felt used; used by Sue Sylvester when she wanted a Head Bitch in Charge, used by boys when all they wanted was sex, used by Glee when a saucy voice was required to deliver a song, but here, in Britt's arms, she felt needed. And that, well, it was a heady feeling.<p>

"It'll be ok Brittz," Santana said, leaning up on her elbow to get a better look at the blonde, "and I never thought I'd say this, because it's kind of wishing away my summer, but I can't wait for August to get here." She smiled her cheeky grin, the one that was reserved specifically for the girl she loved, and laid her head back on her chest, listening to one of her favorite sounds in the world, Britt's steady heartbeat. "And who knows, maybe you'll run off and meet some California boy and have the time of your life!"

She received a quick smack on the arm from Brittany who murmured, "Never." It was a hidden fear of Santana's, losing B to someone else. _I mean, look at her! She's fucking gorgeous. _She thought, once again glancing up at the love of her life, a girl that any person in the world would be lucky to have, and here was Santana, being held in said girl's arms, and being told that she would never let her go. Almost as if Brittany could read her mind, and sometimes San thought she could, she offered some reassurance.

"Do I have to tell you again how much I love you Santana? Because I will. Every single day for the rest of our lives I will tell you that you are the only person in this world that I have ever loved. No one else will ever have that part of me, ok?" Santana couldn't help but nod, because hell, when it's put like that, how can you _not_ believe it? "Now go back to sleep, I want to watch you dream one more time before I leave…"

Santana laughed a little before complying, shimming down the blonde's body to rest her head on the toned stomach and wrap her arm tightly around the girl below her. She was almost asleep when she felt Brittany's hands in her hair and the blonde's voice, starting out as only a whisper, singing her back to sleep…

_..The sky,  
>..It keeps on changing colors in the rain…<br>..And nothing ever seems to stay the same,  
>..But I, I found you to my surprise…<em>

_..I found all I needed in your eyes…  
>..And everyone keeps leaving,<br>..But you stayed when I held you tonight,  
>..And let my heart go free…<em>

_..Hold me close,  
>..Now until forever,<br>..I'll be unafraid…  
>..Hold me close,<br>..Give me back my reason to believe,  
>..Come and save me…<em>

This was the first time the roles had been reversed and Britt had sung her to sleep. Santana's voice was always so strong and confident when she sang, but Brittany kept hers low and light; it almost felt like she was already dreaming…

_..Love,  
>..Nothing ever takes the place of Love…<br>..It breaks through all the madness,  
>..Like a flood,<br>..You washed away my fears,  
>..And let my heart go free…<em>

_..Hold me close,  
>..Now until forever,<br>..I'll be unafraid…  
>..Hold me close,<br>..Give me back my reason to believe,  
>..Come and save me…<em>

Santana could feel sleep beginning to overtake her, but she willed herself to stay awake, not wanting to lose a moment of this time with Brittany…

_..Hold me close,  
>..Now until forever,<br>..I'll be unafraid…  
>..Hold me close,<br>..Give me back my reason to believe,  
>..Come and save me…<em>

_..Come and save me…_

_..And I found you, tonight…_

The room was still when Brittany's voice tapered off into the night, just the sound of their breathing passing between them. It took her a moment, but Santana found Brittany's hand and pulled it to her mouth, kissing the tips of each of her fingers one by one, before kissing the blonde's palm and whispering against it, "I love you Brittany Pierce."

Brittany breathed out.

"Almost as much as I love you."

* * *

><p><strong>Alrighty folks, only one more chapter to go before hiatus time for Playlists! We'll see how the girls' summers shaped up without each other and how their reunion goes. I hope ya'll liked this one! <strong>

**Ok, and now the song, it's called 'Come and Save Me' by Gloriana. They're a country group that is seriously underrated! This song was never released, it's just on their album, but I was flipping through my iTunes the other day and found it after not hearing it for a long time, and I thought it would be a good song to use. **

**Anywho, review, if you want to drop me ideas about what the girls do without each other, I always love suggestions! Oh, and you guys are the best, once again, for all the reviews! Mad love!**

**xoxo-Kat**


	19. Chapter 19, Faith

**So! Last one! Something different than previous chapters. The girls won't be hearing or singing the song; each verse will be an intro into the next concept of the chapter. Or reflect the situation happening, so, tell me what you think!**

**Sorry it took so long. I had major writers block on how I wanted this to end! Anywho, on with the story!**

* * *

><p><strong>Chapter 19<br>Faith  
>(When I Let You Down)<strong>

_..You might lose your faith in science,  
>..You might lose faith in wealth…<br>..You might lose your faith in Jesus,  
>..Or lose faith in yourself…<em>

"It tastes like pink!" Berry screamed out to the party; still acting like this was the first time she had ever tasted alcohol. The glee club, minus Brittany and Mike, were gathered at the Berry residence for another party. This was the last bash of the summer before they all headed back to school for another year.

"I swear to all that is holy if the dwarf doesn't shut the hell up I will cut a bitch!"

Saying that Santana was moody would be the understatement of the century. She had already threatened to kill Artie and her aggression was getting worse with every drink she chugged.

"Always so feisty without your lady friend here to calm you down!" Tina whispered into Santana's ear and drawing back a little when she received a hateful sneer from the brunette.

"Chang, you better check yo self before you wreck yo self." But it was true; it had always been true. Santana was always a little more on edge without Britt around to keep her in check. _It's not like I'm whipped, I just don't like her to be mad at me. _She thought as she took another drink from her cup and tried extremely hard to ignore the wannabe vampire at her side.

"Ha. You know it's true… and speaking of the blonde that has you whipped," Tina continued with a shit eating grin of her own, "How's Brittany doing? Mike's always so busy with his auditions so we barely even get to talk about ourselves, let alone anyone else."

"Hell if I know, she hasn't called me in almost a week!"

And there it was. The obvious reason as to why Santana was already half-wasted at the party when everyone else was still in their first drink.

She was miserable. She didn't know what was going on with her blonde best friend who by now should be in Ohio doing her last bit of auditioning. She had called, texted, and e-mailed the girl more times than necessary without so much as an 'I miss you' in response for almost a week. This was weird for them considering they spent most of the summer on the phone with each other. Santana was starting to fume just thinking about it and Tina wasn't helping with her continual line of questioning.

"Hmm… that's weird? Have you tried calling her?"

"Duh." _Is she fucking stupid! _Santana thought as she took another drink from her Solo cup. She didn't even know what was in it anymore, she was basically just pouring random bottles of alcohol into it and hoping the outcome was drinkable.

"I've probably called her too much…" Santana said to no one in particular, a touch of pain flashing in her eyes. This wasn't the first time Tina had gotten a glimpse into the mind of one Santana Lopez this summer, but they were few and far between. She was always so guarded, but right now, with the alcohol pumping through her system, the Latina was beginning to open up.

"Tina…" Santana said with wide glazed over eyes, "What if I was getting on her nerves? What if I was calling too much and she got tired of me. Oh my god, what if she met someone in New York and now she doesn't want to be with me anymore! What if-"

"Santana. Stop." Tina wasn't used to this side of Santana and therefore wasn't sure how to deal with her, so she figured making her stop talking was a good first step. Her second step was a simple one; reassure the poor girl. But once again, this was like maneuvering through a room full of set mouse traps; one false move and all hell would break loose.

"I'm sure she has wanted to call you; she's probably just super busy. Mike and I barely have spoken all summer. She's hitting the home stretch of her auditions and she'll be home in a week, so no worries. She'll get a hold of you soon."

Tina sat back on the couch and felt pretty good about her little bit of advice until she noticed that Santana was turning a little weepy. She wasn't sure if she could handle a drunk and upset Santana… _Ugh.. where is Brittany when I need her? _Tina thought as she very carefully put an arm around the Latina and silently hoped it would stay attached to her body.

It wasn't the sob that came from Santana that surprised her, it was the way Santana literally threw herself into Tina's lap that caused the Asian girl to gasp in shock. Santana had her arms wrapped around Tina's neck and was crying into the girls shirt, mumbling about how she needed to see Brittany and talk to her and touch her and how she was super horny and needed to have sex soon before she exploded.

That was a little too much information for Tina but it wasn't surprising. Over the summer, Tina and Santana had become pretty good friends. Neither was sure how it happened, but after San had confessed that she and Britt were working on getting together that night at the dance studio, and since neither had their significant other in their lives, they tended to spend a lot of time together.

0o0o0o0o0o

**2****nd**** week without Britt**

_Tina and Santana showed up on Quinn's doorstep, towels in hand and sunglasses on, ready for a day of being poolside. Quinn was getting used to these two popping in unannounced and she couldn't help but give them an old Quinn Fabray glare before stepping aside and letting the two in._

"_Oh Q, you still think you have that Bitch in ya, but dear, you're nothing but a pussy cat!" Santana laughed as they headed toward the back yard and Quinn's insane pool set up. Her mom might have lost her husband in a divorce but she gained the house and with that house came the backyard play ground._

_The pool was in ground with a diving board on one end and a Jacuzzi attached to the shallow end. There was an outside kitchen area with a bar-b-q grill and a fully stocked mini fridge. Granted, Judy Fabray knew better than to keep any alcohol in there, but there was always plenty of Dr. Pepper and water bottles for the girls to enjoy. There was also the sound system; you know the kind with the speakers shaped like rocks that were scattered around the yard, giving everyone surround sound music all day._

_As Quinn and Tina put their towels down on their chairs, Santana made her way over to the bar to get them all some drinks and to turn on the radio. She barely had her butt in her chair when Quinn asked how she was holding up._

_Honestly, Santana wasn't holding up very well. She missed her best friend/love of her life/Soul Mate more than she let on. She wasn't sure how she could go another two months without her even though the blonde had barely been gone a couple weeks. _

"_Fine." The Latina replied, pulling her sunglasses back down so Quinn couldn't read her eyes. Brittany had always prided herself on being able to read Santana like an open book, and even though it was less noticed by others, Quinn was capable of doing the same thing and she called Santana on her shit._

"_Liar." Quinn stated firmly while lathering up with tanning oil... not that Santana was watching or anything. "And besides, saying 'fine' basically means 'actually I hate life right now and I want to see her but I'm going to try to hide it from you guys'. So congrats on totally sucking at lying as well."_

_This was one of those moments where Santana wished that Tina hadn't called her to hang out today. She didn't want to talk about missing Brittany, so instead, she turned the subject right back on Quinn._

"_Well, what about you? How are you holding up now that the Finn Mann is back to dancing along the Yellow Brick Road with the Lolli Pop Guild?" She knew it was a low blow to bring up Finn, but she was tired of them always trying to get her to talk about it. _

"_Stop deflecting San, and if you must know, I'm completely over that." _Now who's the liar, _Santana thought when she glanced over and noticed Quinn worrying her bottom lip. _

"_Alright." Santana said, sitting up on her chair and heading toward the pool. "We're all going to have share time, in the pool, right now. It's too fuckin' hot to be out of the water anyways." She grabbed three rafts and threw them into the water, not really sure why she had decided to have a gut spilling session with these two, but decided that for the sake of her sanity, and theirs, they all needed to get a few things off their chest._

_By the end of the afternoon, all three girls had pretty much spilled their guts about how they were feeling. It was like a weird 'Traveling Pants' movie where they all sat and talked about the things that they were keeping from one another. _

_Quinn groaned about her horrible taste in men and jokingly mentioned switching teams, much to Santana's amusement. Tina complained that her and Mike were starting to get boring and that after a year of being together, things were just cooling off between them. She went against her better judgment and told them how she wanted to try and get Artie back, but after Santana stated that she just threw up in her mouth a little, the Asian girl decided to not go any further into the subject._

_And then there was Santana. Sappy, sentimental, romantic Santana came out of hiding for the first time in front of Tina and told her everything. Quinn knew the stories about San and B, so none of this was very surprising, but Tina was engrossed in it. She couldn't believe how long it had been going on and how every longing look she had ever seen pass between the two girls and how every lingering touch finally made sense. _

_Santana explained things about Karofsky, obviously leaving out the fact that he was capital G gay, but explaining how she had used basically every boy in and around glee club to hide her feelings. Santana couldn't believe how easy it was to tell this stuff to Tina and before she realized it, she had revealed everything there was to say about not only her and Britt's up and down relationship, but also about herself as well. _

"_So are you gay? Not just bi-sexual or whatever?" Tina finally had to ask because Santana had danced around the word for the past ten minutes. Santana wanted to shrug off the question but after looking at Quinn and seeing the pleading look in her eyes, she answered. _She's just as bad as Brittany about this stuff…_ she thought. _

"_Yea, I'm gay. So no, I don't like boys, contrary to popular belief." And that was it. Another person knew about her. That made how many now? Britt, Karofsky, Quinn, Kurt (kind of), Blaine (by default of his big mouth boyfriend), Mike (kind of) and now Tina. She thought that Berry had an idea because of her 'Sapphic Charm' comment she made last year, but she decided to leave the Diva in the dark. _

_She couldn't believe it after she actually thought about it. Half the club knew about it and shit hadn't hit the fan… _ You know, if I just let myself be me I'm sure things would be ok… whoa! Did I just become optimistic about this? What in the hell has happened to me! _She thought, and she was almost certain that the two girls floating in the rafts across from her could read her mind because they both offered her a small smile. And before she could stop it, Quinn flipped Santana's raft causing a water fight to erupt and effectively ending the bonding session between this new, but all together nice, group of friends._

_0o0o0o0o0o_

* * *

><p><em>..But, when I let you down,<br>..Look past your doubt…  
>..Just, please, please,<br>..Don't lose your faith in me…_

The party was in full swing by the time Tina drug Santana out to the dance floor and made her get over herself and have a good time. Tina was worried about the Brittany situation, but she knew the dancer wouldn't do anything to hurt Santana, so she decided that all the Latina needed to do was drink more and dance harder.

It was pretty much a repeat of the last time they held a party at the Berry's except for some minor details: Sam had already moved away, Mercedes was hanging onto some new guy, Kurt and Blaine were openly making out on the couch, Rachel and Finn looked like they were fighting, and Artie wasn't throwing dollar bills at anyone. There was no blonde running around in little black shorts and a pink bra and there was no one there for Santana to take body shots off of.

Correction. There was someone.

Santana was finally getting over the fact that Britt wasn't there and she decided to amp things up. She grabbed Tina and Quinn and pulled them toward the table where the tequila and limes were waiting. Tina refused to take off her shirt so that left Quinn and San to do shots off each other. Quinn, who swore off drinking after getting pregnant, had left that rule at the door and was rapidly taking her shirt off to reveal a black lace bra and a very non-post-pregnant body.

Santana poured the salt on Q's neck and then poured tequila into her belly button, filling it, then all the way up to the base of her boobs, leaving a trail of throat burning goodness to be licked clean. A crowd had gathered around them and all Santana noticed before taking the shot was Berry yelling at Finn to stop watching. She licked the salt from Quinn's neck and slowly slid her tongue down the girls taunt stomach, appreciating the fact that even though she loved Britt, Q had a bangin' body.

After sucking on the lime and trying to stop the burning in her belly, she switched places with the blonde. This turned out to be a bad idea on her part when she felt hands on her thighs, and not a moment later realized she was in fact wearing one of her infamous skin tight dresses. She decided to just go with it and let Quinn push her dress up to her stomach, giving everyone in the room an eye full of her in matching red thong and bra. A few of them were gawking at her while Quinn just put on a devilish smirk and started readying the brunette for the shot.

Quinn poured the shot differently than anyone had ever seen. Santana realized that there was no need to have her dress hiked up because Quinn was taking a different approach. She slowly licked Santana's neck and poured the salt. Next, she instructed the brunette to lean her head back and Santana felt the liquid hitting the hollow of her throat where it sat waiting to be sucked out. Lastly, Quinn put the lime in the Latina's mouth. Santana knew that this was a bad idea, she knew that maybe she should stop it, but after thinking about how Brittany made her feel for the last week, she threw her inhibitions to the wind and decided to blame it on the alcohol.

Instead of standing next to the brunette, Quinn stood in between Santana's legs that were hanging off of the table and slowly lay down on top of her, pinning her to the table. She could feel Quinn's breath hitting her face and she had to push down the slight throbbing she was feeling in between her legs whenever the blonde pressed down onto her body even harder. All of the guys were pretty much hiding themselves with pillows by this point and Finn had to run up the stairs when he watched the shot being taken.

Quinn ran her tongue from Santana's collarbone up to her earlobe, taking it into her mouth for just a split second, before trailing down and licking the salt from her neck. The next two steps happened too fast for Santana to stop.

Q sucked the liquor from her throat then clamped her lips onto Santana's, but to the brunette's relief, she wasn't kissing her. Quinn sucked the lime from her mouth and reared back up to a standing position while biting down on the sour fruit. She had a wicked smile on her face and couldn't help but laugh at the flushed look that Santana's skin was now carrying.

"Oh baby, did I turn you on a little?" And with that Quinn was cracking up. Like doubled over with laughter because come on, being able to mess with Santana Lopez and actually get her all hot and bothered was a feat in the first place, and she couldn't pass up the opportunity.

Santana was super pissed for about a tenth of a second, but then she heard something at the top of the stairs that made her blood run cold. She jumped off the table, pulling her dress down in the processes, and headed toward the stairs when Finn stumbled down and motioned to the top, mumbling something about Britt being here and how she just took off.

"She saw us." Santana whispered, knowing exactly what the blonde had just witnessed. "FUCK! BRITTANY!"

* * *

><p><em>..You could lose faith in music,<br>..Or lose faith in your friends…  
>..You could lose your faith in breathing,<br>..Feel trapped in your own skin…_

Brittany stopped dead when she got to the bottom landing of Rachel's basement. She could clearly see Quinn, without her shirt on, standing in between Santana's legs and pushing her dress up. It was like one of those movie sequences that are slowed down for the exact purpose of making sure you don't miss a beat of the action.

She could feel her stomach start to squirm but her head was trying to calm her down. _It's ok, they're just taking body shots, it's no big deal… It's Quinn, she wouldn't do that to you. _She thought, trying hard to resist the urge to call out and ruin her surprise appearance, but when she tried, nothing came out of her mouth. _ Holy fuck why is she sucking on Santana's ear lobe.. and… and… did.. did she just kiss her? _

And then she was running. Brittany hit the stairs, taking them two at a time and almost knocked over Finn who looked surprised but also happy to see her.

"Brittany! What are you doing here? I thought-" He stopped when he saw the tears in the blonde's eyes and went to grab her, but since he was slightly intoxicated, his grip slipped and Britt was out the front door in record time.

She couldn't believe what she had just seen. She hadn't been gone two whole months and Quinn and Santana were already making out in front of everyone as if she didn't even exist. Her stomach twisted again and this time she almost couldn't stop from vomiting as she turned and dry heaved in Berry's front yard. She needed to get out of there and as she started toward her car she realized she had left her purse by the front door. She was tempted to go grab it, but on second thought she decided a walk would clear her head. She made it to the sidewalk before hearing her name being shouted repeatedly.

"Brittany! Britt, please, stop!" It was Santana, and the brunette was running toward her as fast as her inebriation and heels would allow. "Please, listen to me."

Brittany didn't want to hear it. She couldn't believe that for the last month she had rearranged her entire audition schedule so she could get home and have two full weeks with Santana before they started school. She couldn't believe that she passed up two auditions so she could surprise her best friend at the party tonight. And she couldn't believe that after months, MONTHS, of trying to get Santana to open up to the people around her, that she would do it with Quinn of all people. Once again the feeling that she was going to be sick hit her but she stopped it before it happened.

Santana was standing in front of her with a doe eyed expression that would put Ms. P to shame. She didn't look guilty and for some reason that helped ease the tension in Brittany's stomach.

"Wha-What are you doing here?" Santana gasped out, still out of breath from sprinting after the blonde. "I mean shit, it's not that I'm not freaking pumped that you're here, but, how? I mean, I thought you still had another week?"

Brittany couldn't help but bark out at laugh at the confused expression on Santana's face. The fact that she was there was the least of her priorities right now, so instead of answering, she went straight for the answers she needed

"What the hell was that San?" She practically screeched, unable to keep her voice as calm as she had wanted it to be. "I'm gone for two months and all of a sudden you're getting' it on with Quinn!"

Santana was trying to keep it together because she could tell how pissed off B was, but the fact that Brittany thought she was cheating on her with Quinn seemed almost laughable. And with that bit of information in her brain, she too started to get a little upset.

"Me? You wanna talk about me? No, let's talk about you for a minute _Brittany."_ Santana was done playing games. She wanted answers to her questions too; it was all about who would break first. "You go from talking to me every day to completely shutting me out for over a week! What have you been doing? Just driving around from city to city, fucking anyone who makes a pass at you?"

She didn't mean that. But with her past experiences and knowing that Brittany could cheat had caused her to let her filter come off. But once she saw the hurt in those blue eyes, she knew that B hadn't strayed. _Strayed? _She thought... _we're not even officially together and we're fighting about cheating? What is wrong with us?_

"I can't believe you think I would cheat on you..." the blonde mumbled out, staring at the ground and biting on her lower lip. Santana couldn't take much more and seeing the blonde's eyes well up with tears was enough to push down her anger; it actually didn't push it down, those tears extinguished it immediately. _Kryptonite…_

She closed the gap between them and grabbed the blonde's chin. She raised Brittany's face to make her look at her and slowly slid her thumb across her pout to make her stop worrying her lip.

"And I can't believe you would think I would cheat on you either..." Santana said, maintaining eye contact the whole time and trying her damndest to convey every single emotion she was feeling. Because she was angry and resentful toward the blonde for assuming so much, but she was also feeling that swelling in her chest that she got when the ocean in the blonde's eyes met the sand of Santana's.

They hadn't seen each other in almost two months and this wasn't the reunion either girl had planned on. Not this. Not them yelling at each other, Santana half drunk and Brittany crying while standing in Berry's front yard. Neither girl seemed willing to bend and apologize for the accusations which only seemed to frustrate Brittany more.

* * *

><p><em>..Oh, but I'll be right there beside you,<br>..When the walls are caving in…  
>..Oh, I'm not going anywhere…<em>

"It was supposed to be a surprise," Brittany said, stepping back to get San's hand off her face. It wasn't because she didn't want to touch her, quite the contrary, but the position seemed forced, so she stepped out of it. "That's why I didn't talk to you all week. I didn't want to say something to give myself away. You know how I get word vomit and just start spitting things out and then I can't stop and-"

"Wait. So that's why you didn't call? So you wouldn't give yourself away?" She watched as Brittany nodded and Santana felt a flood of relief go through her. She knew that Brittany wouldn't do anything behind her back, but finally hearing the reason as to why her best friend had avoided her all week left a very relieved feeling throughout her body.

She inched closer to the blonde and asked permission with her eyes to touch her. She could see the confirmation in Britt's eyes and it secretly excited her that they were able to fall right back into reading each other's every thought. She slowly wrapped her arms around Brittany's waist and reveled in the fact that they always seemed to fit so perfectly together.

Britt put her arms around Santana's neck and leaned in, only at the last second she placed a kiss on the tip of the Latina's nose. She pulled back and both girls were wearing goofy grins to match the growing hunger they were both feeling after being apart for too long. She leaned in again and placed wet kisses at the corner of the Latina's mouth, smiling slightly when she heard a small whimper escape Santana's mouth. Their lips hovered millimeters apart for a few moments longer before coming together.

The kiss started slow, all lips and smiles as they reconnected.

It was gradually starting to build because, well, there's no explanation needed. Santana knew that she wanted Britt and it was the same the other way around. Without even a swipe of tongue to initiate it, they deepened the kiss, both girls moaning a little when tongue's collided and they could taste the object of their affection that had been lost to them during their hiatus from one another.

They continued to kiss and hug and slightly grope each other for the next few minutes, neither noticing the fact that the front door was open and they had an audience. When Rachel noticed that Santana's hand was no longer on the outside of Britt's shirt, she decided that her neighbors didn't need a free show and broke the two up.

"Hi!" Berry yelled from her front door, causing Santana to immediately growl into Brittany's mouth before pulling away. Both were completely breathless and very annoyed by the interruption. "Not that I'm not happy that you two finally figured your shit out, but, I have neighbors and shit, so, get your asses inside… please."

Brittany looked at Santana, who was wearing an equally shocked look on her face for the simple fact that Man Hands had pretty much just cussed at them and also told them what to do. Santana swung around about to give Rachel a piece of her mind until she realized that the entire club was standing on the front porch watching them.

She immediately went into panic mode. _Holy mother of God how could I let this happen! They all know! Everyone knows! FUCK!_

* * *

><p><em>..But, when I let you down,<br>..Look past your doubt…  
>..Just please, please,<br>..Don't lose your faith in me…  
>..Please don't lose your faith in me…<em>

Brittany saw the fear flash in Santana's eyes after the girl realized how many people now knew about them. She was so relieved to hear Kurt's voice above the others.

"Santana. Brittany." He said as he walked toward them, both still wrapped around one another. "So glad you guys finally joined the party." And he leaned in and gave them both a hug, and with his head between theirs he whispered in their ears, "took you long enough…"

He pulled back and gave Santana a reassuring smile and Britt could have sworn she saw the Latina's tough façade crack a little at those words. She saw San glance at the group still on the porch and each of them wore matching smiles; there was no resentment, no ill feelings, and no angry mob after them with pitchforks wanting to burn them at the stake.

Things were ok.

Santana turned to look Brittany full in the face and the words were out of her mouth before she could stop them.

"Be my girlfriend."

Brittany thought her heart had stopped, but when she located it again, it was beating as if its time was numbered. Here was Santana, the girl of her dreams, asking the one question she had waited years to hear. _Be my girlfriend…_ It was a simple question but it was so much more than that. This wasn't in the comfort of one of their beds behind closed doors in an empty house. This wasn't in the car while holding hands and music blasting while the wind was whipping through gold and brown locks. It wasn't like Brittany thought it would be at all; and it was better than any scenario she had come up with.

She had dreamt about this moment for a long time and she always figured it would be a big secret because as much as she loved Santana, she had never been sure when the brunette would come to her senses and be with her. But here they were, not in a dream, getting ready to dive head first into each other for the first time.

Brittany heard someone yell from the porch, "Fucking say yes!" (it was Puck), and she realized she had yet to answer the beautiful girl's question. She turned to look at Santana and noticed she was playing with her hands and looking extremely nervous, but there was a sense of calm in those brown eyes that gave Brittany the courage to answer.

"Yes." She said with a nod of her head and then she was airborne. Santana had picked her up and was spinning her around in the middle of Berry's front yard, laying kisses on Brittany's chest and neck with silent tears pouring from her eyes. The crowd on the porch gave a few hoots and hollers and slowly made their way back inside to continue their back-to-school celebration.

Everyone except Quinn. She had waited many years, just as long as the two girls in front of her, to see them both be this happy and she couldn't help but bask in their glow for a few moments. She caught Brittany's eye for a split second and a thousand thoughts traveled between them. She saw the apologizing look that passed behind blue eyes and hazel ones returned it. Quinn knew that they would be ok and she gave the couple one more smile and whispered _'finally' _before stepping inside and softly closing the door behind her.

Brittany's feet were still off the ground and she looked back down on Santana who was beaming up at her. "You said yes right?" Santana asked, "Because I could have sworn you said yes but sometimes I get ahead of myself in assuming and you know what they say about people who assume, it makes an ass-"

"I said yes." Brittany clarified, pressing a finger to the Latina's lips. She slowly slid down _her girlfriends_ body so her feet were back on solid ground, but she still felt like she was floating. She heard Santana whisper something against her cheek, something along the lines of, 'holy shit… she said yes…' and once again their lips collided, but this kiss was different. This wasn't just a kiss with someone they loved; this was a kiss between two people who knew that they were right where they belonged.

And it was the most passionate kiss either of them had ever shared.

_..Oh,Oh,oh...  
>..I'm not going anywhere…<br>..I'm not going anywhere…  
>..I'm not going anywhere…<em>

* * *

><p><strong>2 Weeks Later<strong>

Both girls were in Santana's mustang making their way to their first day of school. Neither was excited about the prospect of another year at McKinley but there was still an air about them that gave off the illusion that they were happy. And they were.

The past two weeks had been some of the best of their lives. The night they became official was spent in Santana's bed; they didn't have sex, they just needed to be with one another. They stayed up all night talking about their summer apart and how they planned to spend their remaining two weeks of freedom before school started.

They spoke about B's auditions and how she was already getting calls and offers from schools. Santana revealed that she had gotten her early acceptance letter from Columbia and that she would be going to New York the following fall, if all went right.

They were together every day for the rest of the summer, in a group or alone, and they could always been seen holding hands or stealing kisses. They were the gross happy couple that annoyed the piss out of everyone; but it was clear as day that this wasn't just one of those 'Santana Flings'. This was real and they were in it for the long haul.

Brittany had told her parents about everything and even though her dad seemed a little shocked by the news, he wished them nothing but the best. It actually made him feel good to know that he didn't have to worry about his little girl anymore; he knew that Santana would take care of her. Marcia, on the other hand, was ecstatic. The first time Santana had entered the Pierce household after their family meeting, the eldest blonde wrapped her arms around her tightly and whispered in her ear, "Thank you for this. She's waited a long time for you."

When she pulled out of the hug she could tell that Santana had been oblivious to the fact that Britt had spilled her guts numerous times about the pair. She also had to laugh at Santana's reaction to her girlfriends' mom telling them that there wasn't going to be an open door policy on the two girls because let's face it, that never stopped them before and it wasn't going to stop them now.

Brittany had tried to ask Santana if she was going to tell her own parents about them, but when she saw the brunette tense up at the mention of coming out to her parents, she quickly let the subject drop. She didn't want to push the Latina into doing something she wasn't ready for, and considering she had already taken the first step by becoming public with their relationship to the glee club, she figured slow and steady was the way to go from there.

They got to school early that morning in hopes of catching some time alone before going into the building. Luckily they managed to have just about every class together and once again their lockers were right beside one another, so time together wouldn't be an issue. They had stayed at Santana's house the past few nights since her parents had just gotten back from Africa, but it had been a straining and awkward reunion between daughter and adults. It was if them being gone for almost three months wasn't a big deal and they all immediately went about their normal routine of thoroughly ignoring one another.

"When do you think you'll tell your parents?" Brittany suddenly asked while tightening her hand around Santana's.

She wanted to say more but decided that with this conversation, asking any more than that could cause the old Santana to come back. So she waited, just drawing patterns on tan skin and humming along to the song playing through the speakers. It was only a minute or so later when Santana responded.

"Soon." She replied, taking a deep breath and letting it out slowly. "I want to tell them; it doesn't matter what they think anymore. I have you and quite frankly, that's all I need."

Brittany turned to look at _her girlfriend_ and couldn't stop the smile that spread across her face. She leaned in and very tentatively pressed her lips to Santana's, willing the Latina to understand that she felt the same way. When they pulled apart, Brittany couldn't help but ask the follow up question.

"And what about here at school? I needs me some ground rules." She tried to say in San's ghetto voice, but it just came out too white girl and before the brunette could stop herself, she busted out laughing at her girlfriends antics. But, she also seemed to take the question seriously.

"Well, in glee club, I don't care what we do, because they all know and Mr. Schue will be too freaked out to even know what to say." They both smiled wistfully as they thought of their scatter brained teacher and his inability to control anything. "But, I say we keep it all to a minimum for now, just so it doesn't get back to my parents. So, no kissing or cuddling in the hall ways, but, there is something I want to change."

And with that, Santana was out of the car and walking around to open Britt's door. The blonde got out and they both faced the front doors of McKinley High School. Both were lost in thought but they were on the same track. They were thinking about the previous times they had entered the school together, dressed in their cheerleading uniforms and locking pinkies before waltzing through the door and commanding the attention of everyone in the hall.

Today was different. Today, they were just two girls about to have another first day of school. Santana was in a pair of skinny jeans and fitted t-shirt while Britt was sporting some super short shorts and a tank top. They both seemed to realize each other's thoughts and laughed a little at how much things had changed in the course of a year.

Brittany did the traditional lifting of her hand, offering her pinky to her best friend who just stared at it for a moment before slowly shaking her head. The blonde was confused for a moment, not sure if this was the change that Santana had wanted to make. _Maybe holding pinkies will give us away… _She thought and she couldn't help the pout that had formed on her lips when she thought of not being able touch Santana throughout the day.

Santana let the girl run through her emotions before wrapping her hand around the blondes. She could see the fear and hurt leave the blonde's eyes, allowing a cloudless sky to appear in her baby blues. Their hands were clasped in the air and both girls were now staring at the mixture of caramel and vanilla fingers that were intertwining and falling between them.

"You ready for this?" Brittany asked, staring into the depths of brown eyes that for the first time in months seemed completely calm and above all else, perfectly clear.

"Let's do this."

_..But, when I let you down,  
>..Look past your doubt…<br>..Just please, please,  
>..Don't lose your faith in me…<br>..Please don't lose your faith in me…_

_..I'm not going anywhere…_

* * *

><p><strong>Finished.<strong>

**I hope you guys enjoyed this story as much as I enjoyed writing it. I really do appreciate every single one of my readers and reviewers; you guys are amazing! **

**Not sure if I'm going to continue with Playlists into season 3… I'm hoping RIB will write the rest of this story for us. Hopefully they'll get it right this time around!**

**Anywho, thanks again for putting up with my long droughts of not updating and once again, I can't thank you guys enough for sticking with me! **

**Until next time,  
>xoxo-Kat<strong>


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